Divulgence

 

Summary:  Clark and Lex meet at a pub in Edinburgh, Scotland and fall instantly in lust. 

Rating: MA/NC-17

Author's note:  At the present time, Clark is not Kryptonian in this story.  AKA no powers.  I have no true reason for it, other than my best friend likes it that way.  Plus, I didn't feel that it really fit in the story.  Also, I'll give this as a kind of warning - there is quite a large age gap between the boys in this story.

****

“Mpf.” I grunted after being thrown up against the elevator wall, my hands pinned against the paneling, a pair of soft lips pressed on my own. Once the surprise of the situation was gone, I began kissing him back. Only in my dreams had I ever kissed another guy, and it had never been anywhere near as intense as this brief encounter. Just as we were really getting into it, the elevator stopped, causing my assailant to pull back from me, and head out through the open doors.

“You coming?” He turned back to ask me from his spot in the hallway.

I wondered how the man could look so cool and professional after what had just happened. I was certain I looked like a fool with my hands still up against the wall, clothes rumpled and short dark curls undoubtedly a mess. My companion would obviously never be victim to the bad hair day. I wasn’t sure what had caused the man’s baldness, yet somehow instinctually knew that it was permanent.

“Not yet.” I replied under my breath as I walked through the small penthouse lobby to where he was currently unlocking the door.

“I promise I don’t bite.” He said when he noticed I hadn’t yet crossed into the room. “Unless, of course, that’s what you’re into.”

Into. I had no idea what I was into. Really, I’d only ever kissed my high school girlfriend. And despite what everyone thought, I definitely wasn’t into her. Kissing her and being with her had actually further pushed me away from girls. But being gay in a small town wasn’t something I had the guts to deal with, so I’d stayed with her.

Two years after we started at Central Kansas, she began talking a little too much about us getting married. I panicked, taking a semester off to travel around the world saying I needed to “find myself” before being able to settle down with anyone. It was the first time I’d ever left the state, and my father had been forced to pry my mother away from me so that I could leave. I promised her I would be back soon. But that had been four years ago.

“Guess you’ve got all night to figure that out, don’t you?” I walked into the suite, hoping I sounded more confident than I actually felt.

“I certainly hope so.” He smiled and took my coat. “Can I get you something to drink?” He motioned over to the small wet bar in the living area.

“Coffee would be good. I already went two beers over my normal limit waiting for you to come talk to me.” I teased even though it was the truth. I’d been just about ready to leave the pub for the night when the man in front of me had walked in with some other suits. His baldness had drawn my attention at first, but something else about him made me keep watching.

A group of University guys challenged him to a few rounds of pool, foolishly thinking this older man an easy mark. Much to my delight, he won, though it was obvious he was the one who’d been hustling them.

Sometime during the game he’d looked over at me, our eyes meeting for the first time. I gave him a small smile, but he went back to his game as if he hadn’t noticed. It had annoyed me at first, then a drink had appeared at my table. I knew it was from him, though he didn’t look my way again.

I sipped the beer, waiting for the game to be over. I was determined to be brave for once in my life. How hard could it be to go over there and start a conversation? I talked to strangers all the time when doing research for my travel articles. Just as I was about to get up, he headed out to the dance floor. Sure, I was going to be courageous tonight, but there was no way I was going to *dance* to get what I wanted. My lack of skill in that area would have had the opposite effect that I was going for. Instead, I shifted my position in the booth so I could see him better.

All hope I had about the situation fizzled over the next couple hours as I watched him flirt, dance and make out with countless women. Why had I even thought I’d had a chance? Just because I wanted to feel his skin against mine, to run my fingers gently across his scalp, to feel him inside me didn’t mean that the other man would want to reciprocate.

I tried to walk away, tried to pull myself out of the booth and back to my rented University dorm, but it was impossible. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the vision in front of me. His suit jacket had disappeared. His untucked, unbuttoned shirt was starting to cling wonderfully to his damp chiseled body. His tie had been loosened and was now hanging haphazardly around his neck. I wondered if he’d ever been tied to the bed with those ridiculously expensive ties while someone else fucked him raw. Too bad I knew that someone would never be me.

I shook my head. This was absurd. I *never* let my mind go like this. It always seemed to just lead to empty nights alone with my hands and my limited imagination. Yet at the same time, I’d also never felt connected to a stranger on such a primal level. Though that feeling could have just as easily have been from my twenty-four years of self inflicted virtuousness. Or the five beers I’d had this evening. Or both.

Looking up from my drink, I’d realized I’d lost the object of my craving among the horde of dancing bodies. I continued watched the floor with no avail for another forty seven minutes before going outside to begin the trek home. Maybe it was for the best. I told myself. I didn’t need him anyway. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I began walking towards the University.

Three blocks later I was pissed at myself. Why did I always have to be so shy and run away from everything? Why couldn’t I ever take a chance? I kicked a pebble on the sidewalk, watching as it bounced on the pavement a few times before settling in the street. Suddenly something told me to turn around, to go back to the pub. Even if I couldn’t have him, I could – no – I *would* find someone.

And I did. *He* was sitting on a stoop two buildings down from the Salmon Run. Calm, collected, and redressed, showing no signs of his earlier disarray. I pretended I didn’t see him. Continued on towards the pub.

‘Took you long enough.’ He said to my back.

I kept walking.

‘I’m staying at the Whitfield.’ I heard shuffling as he stood to follow me. ‘I’d really like it if you’d join me tonight.’

“You could have just as easily come to talk to me.” His voice broke through my thoughts.

“And lose my perfectly good table at the Salmon on a Friday night? I think not.” There was no way I was going to tell him about the inner turmoil that had been going on in my head.

“Are you’re saying I’m not worth it?” He moved towards me.

“So far all you’ve done is throw me up against the elevator wall.” I rubbed the back of my head even though it really didn’t hurt. “You should warn someone when you’re going to ravish them like that.”

“But that would take away from the spontaneity of the situation, now wouldn’t it?” He was now standing in front of me, barely a foot away.

“I suppose so.”

Having pushed my hand away, his slender fingers were now tangled in my hair, massaging the “bump” on the back of my head. “Perhaps I should kiss you and make it better.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply. His lips were on mine again, only momentarily, but tingles ran through my entire body.

“You’re supposed to kiss the injury.” I whispered when we parted.

“Are you complaining?” He smirked.

“Of course not…” But he didn’t let me finish; only pulled me close for another kiss.

This time, though, he was less chaste, kissing me with fervor I’d never experienced. Like he wanted me and not just sex. I knew that probably wasn’t the case, but I didn’t really care, I wanted this, too. It felt so good, his lips against mine, his tongue twirling against my own. His one hand was roving all over my body while the other was still gripping the hair on the back of my head. My hands were tightly clutching his shirt, almost as if I was afraid to let go. Afraid this wasn’t really happening.

Suddenly I realized my back was against a wall for the second time that night. I gasped when his hardness ground against mine. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he was harder than me, but the proof was there, rubbing hotly on my trembling body.

He moved his lips away from mine, working them along my jaw and down to the base of my neck. The things he did with his tongue turned me instantly into putty. His hands were unbuttoning my shirt, his mouth following closely behind, kissing my newly exposed skin. I released my grip on him, my shirt dropping to our feet.

“So gorgeous,” He said, his eyes raking down my body, then back up to look at me.

All I could do was blush. No one had ever called me that. Okay, maybe my mom did, but I *really* didn’t want to be thinking about her right now. I concentrated on the tongue that was on my neck, heading down towards my nipple. I bit my lip as he toyed with the nub in front of him. It amazed me how one little spot could send so much pleasure to all other regions of my body.

I felt him undoing my pants, slowly pulling the zipper down. His face was back nuzzling my neck; his silk shirt was chafing against my chest. I wanted to get it off of him, so I could feel his skin on mine. I couldn’t seem to concentrate long enough to accomplish this since he was kneading my erection through the soft barrier of my boxers.

Moments later, he was on his knees facing me. His finger traced the prominent bulge in front of him, then he looked up as if requesting permission.

I nodded. He could have asked me anything right then and I would have agreed without hesitation. Smiling, he burrowed his face against me, kissing and petting what would soon be his. He pulled down the elastic band, my cock springing free from its confines.

“Gorgeous.” He whispered before kissing the tip.

Licking the precum off his lips, his blue-green eyes met mine. I watched as he stroked me a few times, then took my length into his mouth. The hot, wet sensation caused me to moan and grab the wall behind me. I would have much rather grabbed his head, pushing myself further into him, but didn’t think he’d appreciate if I left marks there for all to see. His head bobbed slowly up and down, his eyes never leaving mine.

I finally understood what all the fuss was about. This was so much better than using a rough hand to get myself off quickly. He pulled his mouth off of me and began tonguing my balls. My knees nearly gave out as sucked one, then the other, while his hand slowly stroked the base of my slick shaft.

I felt my entire body tighten as it prepared for release. He must have felt it too, because he ceased all forms of pleasure he’d been giving me.

“No.” I whispered. My hands immediately went toward my cock, but he grabbed them before they could finish what he started.

Keeping our hands together, he stood and leaned in for a quick kiss. I could smell my hot musky scent over whatever expensive cologne he was wearing.

“You were close, weren’t you, kid?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I mumbled into his kiss.

His body brushed against my hardness, causing me to buck up instinctively.

“Not yet,” He grabbed my hips, holding them steady, and I wrapped my hands around his waist. “Take a deep breath and just relax for a minute. I want this to last a little bit longer for you.”

I whimpered, wanting more and wanting it now, but I did as I was told. I trusted that he knew what he was doing and this would certainly be worth it.

While he waited for me to calm down, he bent in for another make out session. He was much stronger than I expected and despite my insistent hands, he managed to keep the rest of his body away from mine.

“Please…” I finally requested.

“Tell me what you want.” He whispered into my ear, nibbling the lobe as he waited for a response.

“You.” Was all I could say. I didn’t care what it was I just wanted him.

“I’m right here,” he said softly. “Be more specific.”

“I…”

His hand wrapped around my shaft before I could finish. Relief washed over me as he began stroking.

“Is this what you want?” He asked. “Or do you want more?” He licked his lips.

“More.” Definitely more.

“How much more?” His voice was like honey in my ear.

“Come. Please.”

Thankfully, he didn’t make me beg anymore than that. I was already ruffled enough that this man had reduced me, a writer, to one word answers.

His mouth took my cock deeper than before. I tried to watch but my eyes kept closing as the pressure of his sucking increased. I arched my back, thrusting hard into the warm inviting hole in front of me.

“Easy.” He said, holding my hips against the wall again.

But I couldn’t help it. He was moving way too slowly for me. I wanted to let go, then to give him this same pleasure. I knew I wouldn’t be the expert he was, yet I knew he could teach me this wonderful art form. His tongue grazed my balls, and I clawed the wall behind me.

“You really like that, don’t you?”

“Ngh.” Was all I could say.

He laughed, caressing the tip of my cock with his lips. Reaching forward, I gingerly ran a finger across the smooth skin of his scalp. He shivered and then his tongue began doing the most wonderful fluttery thing along my length. I mimicked the pattern with my fingers at the base of the neck. It caused him to hum against me, and the vibrations could be felt everywhere in my body. My heart was racing; my body was growing tense again. I was almost there.

“So close.” I told him.

I grunted when he pulled back from my cock. Not. Again. But his hands took up the task his mouth had left behind, tugging and stroking my wanting flesh.

“Come for me, gorgeous.” He brought one hand down to fondle my balls and that was all it took.

I felt my whole body freeze, then I began bucking up into his fist. We both watched as I erupted between us, shooting again and again as he continued to pump me hard. When my orgasm had subsided, I slid slowly down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, with him still kneeling between my legs.

He looked down at me, then gave me a kiss before leaning further down and taking my cock into his mouth again. I hissed as the heat enveloped the immensely sensitive organ. He continued to massage me with his deft fingers and tongue until I was completely soft.

Tucking me back into my boxers, he swiftly zipped and buttoned my pants. Scooting as close to me as he could get, he pulled me toward him and put his lips on mine. It was a gentle kiss, but quickly turned heated as our tongues danced, and hands roved. After a bit, I felt him reluctantly draw away from me.

“My name’s Alexander.” He smirked and held out his hand to shake. “But you can call me Lex.”

“Good to meet you, Lex.” I shook his hand, laughing at the sudden formality after what had just happened. “I’m Clark.”

****

“So, Clark, cream or sugar?” I asked from my spot on the floor.

“What?” His eyes were a little glazed over, almost as if the blood hadn’t quite made it back to his brain.

“For your coffee.”

“Right. Coffee.” He blushed and I tried not to think about how hot he looked, sated and half naked against the wall.

I hadn’t planned on attacking him like that, but once I started, I wasn’t able to stop. He had this weird hold over my body and for the first time in my life, I wanted to pleasure my partner instead of using them for my own gain.

“Four sugars.” He finally said.

I raised my eyebrows.

“I’m a growing boy.”

Growing? He seemed pretty grown to me. He was well over six feet tall, wonderful dark hair, no evidence of fat anywhere on his muscular body, and more than ample where everyone said size didn’t matter. He was the most magnificent thing I’d ever seen, and somehow couldn’t believe he was mine. Even if it was just for tonight.

“Four sugars it is, then.” I stood, holding my hand out to help Clark up, and realized he was staring at my chest. Looking down, I figured out why. I was covered in the visible evidence of Clark’s earlier bliss; several of the white splotches contrasting beautifully against my black tie. Normally this would have made me upset, someone having ruined a favorite item of clothing, but this was different. It was almost as if he’d claimed me in one of the most primal ways possible.

“It’s been a while, huh?” I asked, smiling.

He blushed and looked away.

“No worries, gorgeous.” I held my hand out to him again, which he accepted, standing on shaky legs. Not letting go of him, I pulled him in for a quick kiss before leading him into the kitchen.

As I busied myself around the room, preparing the coffee, I watched Clark out of the corner of my eye. He’d leaned up against the counter, his arms crossed on his still naked chest. His cheeks were beet red and he looked everywhere but at me, as if he was embarrassed about what had just happened.

“So what brings you to Edinburgh, Clark?” I leaned against the counter opposite him.

“Travel writer. You?”

It seemed like there was more to the story, but I didn’t pry. “My father owns an international business and sends me wherever he doesn’t want to go.”

“Well, uh…” And Clark was red again. This whole innocent act was really starting to go straight to my cock. “Lucky for us, that he decided he didn’t want to come to Scotland.” His words rushed out so fast that I almost didn’t catch them.

“Lucky indeed.” I hardened as my brain began to conjure up images of things I hoped we’d be doing soon. “Want to skip the coffee?”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.” He looked down at my crotch before continuing. “Besides, I think I owe you a favor.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” I didn’t want him to think this was about keeping count.

“Maybe not, but I still want to take care of you.”

I felt a weird swell in my chest. This kid really knew how to work what he had. “I’m not going to deny you that.”

I flipped off the coffeemaker, then we walked slowly to the guest room. Even when traveling, I always kept the master bedroom private. It was a place where I could get away from everything. Almost like a sanctuary of sorts. Not that this room was anywhere near shabby. There was a king sized mahogany four poster bed against the middle of one wall, the burgundy and navy bed coverings looking ever so inviting. On each side of the bed were matching nightstands each adorned with a small lamp which cast a soft glow into the room. To the right of the bed was a small sitting area complete with desk, a few comfy chairs and a picture window looking down to the city below. The wall opposite the bed presented a giant stone fireplace, while the fourth wall had a wardrobe and entrance to the guest bath.

Upon entering the room, Clark went immediately to the window, gawking at the view. I couldn’t help but smile as I embraced him from behind, setting my chin on his shoulder. Even though I was ready to get on with the night, holding him and listening his endless prattle about the city was oddly refreshing. He seemed to want to enjoy the night instead of getting a quick lay and leave. I could deal with that for once.

I placed a kiss on his shoulder, then worked up to his neck, which caused him to turn around. He placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek then told me I had entirely too many clothes on.

“What should we do about that then?” I asked him.

He didn’t answer with words, only proceeded to take off my jacket, throwing it into the chair. My tie, shirt and belt quickly joined the pile. He took off his shoes and socks, then stared shyly back at me. I stripped the rest of the way down to my boxers, watching as he did the same.

Not able to stand it anymore, I seized him, wanting to feel his lips on mine again. They were tender, pliable, and needy. The warm skin of his chest pressed against me, his hands clutched my sides, and his tongue brushed mine. My hands traveled over every muscle of his back, and I wondered how many hours a week he had to spend in the gym to stay like this.

Before I knew it, I was on top of him on the bed. I nearly bit his lip when my cock rubbed against his. He wasn’t very hard yet, but it didn’t matter. The friction he created there sent a jolt of electricity throughout my entire body. I pressed harder, feeling him grow beneath me. Moving my mouth away from his, I nipped and sucked at his neck, purposely leaving multiple marks of possession as I continued lower.

When I started on his nipples, he began lightly massaging my scalp. Normally, I didn’t let anyone do this. Especially when I had meetings in the near future. Having nail marks across an already overly visible area tended to be embarrassing. I allowed him to continue since his gentle touch was only compounding every other sensation I was feeling.

“Lex.” He whispered, causing me to scoot back up and look into his eyes. He pulled me in for another intense kiss, our bodies grinding together, burning everywhere they touched. His fingers tickled the base of my neck causing me to thrust hard against him and realize that I was far too close to coming. I rolled sideways, lying on my back, panting heavily.

Moving down the bed, he removed my boxers then slid up next to me. He was on his side, looking into my eyes, his hand caressing my stomach; all of it making me feel ungodly mushy and romantic. It also made me want to roll him over and fuck him deeper and harder than I’d ever fucked anyone. Though Clark didn’t seem like the type of person who would have tolerated that too much at this point.

I felt his finger run lightly up the underside of my cock. The second time there was more pressure, the third time, several fingers lightly caressed me. Leaning up, he kissed me, then settled his head on my shoulder where he could watch his hand at work. I adjusted a pillow behind my head so that I too could watch.

He wrapped his hand around my shaft, stroking very lightly and very slowly. His touch was inexperienced, and not enough to send me over, but it blissful none the less. He squeezed a little harder, and precum dribbled out onto my stomach. Clark ran his fingers slowly through the liquid before rubbing it over my cock.

He leaned forward and kissed the sensitive tip. A moan escaped my lips as his whole mouth went around me. His tongue was everywhere, licking, tasting, pleasing, yet almost unsure in its movements. With the hand not trapped between our heated sweaty bodies, I fisted the comforter beneath us, knowing that if I didn’t, I would have pushed Clark’s mouth further down on my cock before he was ready.

After a few more minutes of his tongue’s gentle ministrations, he laid his head back on my shoulder, and returned to pleasuring me with his hand. Trying not to move too far out of his grasp, I reached for the nightstand, grabbing some lube out of the drawer. Clark applied a generous amount to his hand then slathered it all over me. His hand glided better, and he began moving faster along my shaft, once again bringing me close to release.

Suddenly I felt a strange warmth on my hip. I tore my eyes away from where my own cock was being embraced by Clark’s tight fist, and looked over to my side. His cock was resting against me, fully erect, its dark pink coloring standing out against my pale skin, its magenta head leaking onto my body. As I freed my hand from between our bodies, I wondered how close he was to coming. I tickled the tip, the only part I could comfortably reach, which caused him to squeeze me harder.

“Yeah, just like that.” I whispered. “I’m close, baby.” I tried concentrating on toying his cock, but he grunted and scooted out of my reach. “Please let me feel you.” I couldn’t believe I was begging, but his cock was mine for tonight and I wanted it. I was even considering letting him fuck me with it, and that was something few men were allowed the opportunity to do.

Clark had seemingly eased off on the stroking. He’d built my pleasure up and was torturing me, letting me hang on the edge, and not letting me go over.

“Please, Clark. More. Please.” This kid had reduced me to begging. Again. Without warning, Clark removed his hand from my cock. “Please.” I whispered again, closing my eyes.

He leaned in to kiss me, or at least tried. I kept begging ‘Please’ every time his lips left mine, not even considering the fact that I could have easily finished myself off with my own hand. Subconsciously I must have known that letting him make me come would be much better. This went on for several minutes, then I felt him roll over on top of me.

His kisses continued on, as our bodies and cocks scooted, slid, and ground against each other. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, as if to pull him closer to me. He pressed harder into me, moving faster and more urgently.

“Come with me, Lex.” He said, pulling away from the kiss.

“Unh.” Was the only word my brain seemed capable of forming at the time. I felt his body tense above me, his breathing became raspy. I wanted desperately to tell him to come, but I couldn’t. Instead, I dug my nails into his back, and tried to push forward my own release.

“Lex!” His movements became erratic as he reached the point of no return. “You, too.” He said, his hot come spilling out between us.

“Yeah, Clark, yeah...” I panted. My hips jerked and convulsed uncontrollably, my body finally letting out the pleasure that had been building up since I’d first seen Clark at the pub this evening.

I heard myself repeating Clark’s name as we continued grinding against each other, our softening cocks trying to get every last ounce of ecstasy out of the moment. He said nothing, keeping his face buried in my neck. A few moments later, I released my legs from around his body, laying them back on the bed. Clark thrust a few more times against me before relaxing completely.

His body was heavy on mine, and suddenly I didn’t want anything to do with him. Or sex. I wanted him off of me. I was tired and wanted to go back to my own bed – alone – so I could sleep. I pushed against him with my chest, and he rolled us both onto our side, wrapping his arms around me. Even though this wasn’t what I had intended, I didn’t push again, knowing he was the type who would feel rejected.

“Alexander?” He asked quietly, kissing me on the top of my scalp. “You okay?”

“I *never* loose control like that.” My own answer surprised even me, though it made perfect sense.

“I’m not exactly an expert, but isn’t that what this is about? Letting yourself go in a moment of passion?”

“I guess, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior of throwing you up against a wall, taking advantage of you before I even knew your name.”

“It’s not like I didn’t know the possibilities of what could happen when you invited me here.”

“True, but-”

“But nothing. You didn’t plan on that happening and I didn’t plan on rubbing myself against you like a horny teenager. It just seemed right at the time.”

He made a good point, though I still didn’t like how uncontrolled I was around this guy.

“You know what the most important thing is?” He raised my chin so I was looking up at him. “To me anyway?” I shook my head no. “Is that I’ve loved every minute of it and it was much hotter than I ever could have imagined. Plus, I hope that, um…” He was doing the blushing thing again. It made him look so adorably fuckable. “I was hoping that we weren’t quite done here.”

“Two orgasms in less than forty-five minutes not enough for you?” I deadpanned. I laughed when I realized he thought I was serious. “Relax, Clark. I’m not letting you out of here without at least a couple more.”

“Promise?” His grin stretched from ear to ear. How could I say no to that?

“I promise.” I leaned up, sealing the deal with a quick kiss. “Only thing is, I’m not the young stud I once was. I haven’t come twice in one night in years, so it might be a while.”

“I’m not in any hurry.” He kissed me on the nose, the cheek and finally met my lips. It was a tender, romantic kiss that was full of promise for things to come later tonight. It also held something else that I couldn’t describe. Something I felt deep in my gut. I ignored it, thinking it was just my body complaining about the workout it was soon to receive.

“Wanna go for a dip in the Jacuzzi?” I asked once he pulled away from me.

“Sounds perfect. Especially since I got us all… messy.”

“You did a good job of it, too.” I smiled as I peeled myself away from him then went into the bathroom. I put on one of the cotton robes that was hanging on the back of the bathroom door, grabbed the other one, then went back to Clark. He was exactly as I had left him, lying on his side, watching me from behind those beautiful long eyelashes of his. “Get up, lazybones.” I said, holding the garment open for him.

He slid off the bed and stepped into the robe. I tied it from behind, hugging him, and nibbling the base of his neck.

“I thought you wanted to go relax.”

“Oh, trust me, I do.” I whispered into his ear. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun on the way there.”

“If you’re not careful, we might never make it there.” He said, pressing back against me.

“That wouldn’t be all bad, now would it?”

“I guess not.” He pouted. “Though the idea of… coming with you in the hot tub really turns me on.”

“Well then, let’s go.” I released my grip on him and guided him back across the suite and out onto a room attached to the balcony area.

Upon entering the room, I watched as Clark shed his robe and sank down into the tub. He made the most delicious noises as he relaxed completely in the heated water.

“Aren’t you going to get in?” Clark was grinning as he looked up at me. “Not that I’m not enjoying the view, I’m just kinda… lonely.” I tried my best not to roll my eyes at the fake frown on his face.

Stripping, I slipped into the tub, and sat next to him. He rewarded me with a bright smile that made me feel slightly melty. Feelings like that were never good in a situation like this. I brushed it off, figuring that I was just overly eager about not only getting off twice in one night, but also about being with someone who seemed to care about more than just getting some.

“Has it really been years since you… you know… more than once?” Clark asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yes.” I told him. “With my work schedule, I barely have a moment to myself, let alone any kind of relationship other than business. If and when I do come, it’s usually a quick hand job in the shower. Occasionally I’ll pick up some businessman or woman I find at the hotels that I stay at but-”

“Women?” He looked somewhat shocked.

“I prefer guys, but sometimes women are just easier to come by than a willing and open man. Basically for me it’s about stress relief, Clark. It’s not about love.” I said. Figured it was best to tell the kid the truth before he did something crazy like think this was going somewhere other than sex. “Getting pleasure from another living body can sometimes be much better than your own hand, you know?” I looked over at him, and he briefly nodded.

“I’ve never met anyone that was… bisexual.”

“Sure you have. They probably just didn’t admit it. I mean, how many people have you told that you’re gay?”

Clark looked away, his hand playing on the water’s surface. “Very few.” He finally admitted.

“My point exactly.”

“It’s just not accepted where I come from.” His tone was slightly defensive.

“It’s okay, Clark.” I said. “I didn’t admit, or even realize I was gay until I was about twenty eight.”

“How’d you know?”

“I guess I was always in denial about it. I wanted guys, but wasn’t sure how it would affect the company, so I just kept going out with girls. Then one night my sister’s boyfriend and I got a little beyond drunk and fucked each other’s brains out. Three of the best days in my life.”

“Three days!” Clark exclaimed. His eyes were practically bugged out of his head.

“Pretty much non stop, too. At least it was after we got over that next morning ‘what the hell did we do?’ trauma.”

“What did your sister say when she found out?”

“Lena’s still bitter about it, but more about the fact that I figured out he was gay before she did. Anyway, once I’d had the pleasure of knowing what it was like to have someone inside of me, and returning the favor to him, I couldn’t go back.

Clark nodded.

“So what about you?” I asked him. “How did you figure out that girls weren’t your thing?”

“Well, all I knew at the time was that my girlfriend of three years no longer got me… excited. Nor did any other girl. I got really worried that something was seriously wrong with me because nothing turned me on. Then I went to my first day of physics at the university. Five minutes into class I spotted the teacher’s aide. He’s not the kind most guys fall for – total science geek with this mop of mussed red hair – but I couldn’t stop staring at him. It didn’t take long for my body to get excited over him. Really excited. For the first time in months…” He reached down and gently began stroking himself, and it was obvious that thinking about the TA still turned him on. “I could no longer stand it and had to leave about halfway through class. I locked myself in our dorm bathroom and hopped into the shower, thinking that would cool me off, but instead, I just kept thinking about him and kept… relieving myself. Over and over, almost like I was making up for lost time or something. Anyway, when I was worn out, I sank down onto the floor embarrassed and ashamed about who I was thinking about and what I was doing.”

“You’ve never told anyone about that, have you?” I asked quietly.

“No.” He looked away from me, stilling his hand. “I grew up in such a remote conservative area that the only thing I learned about homosexuality was that it was wrong. Hell, I didn’t even know what it was until I was seventeen. I’d just figured it was some kind of weird sex position. After that night in the shower, I read up on my supposed condition and was so relieved that I wasn’t a freak.”

“But you still left.” I stated.

He nodded. “My parents would have been crushed if I’d have told them about myself. And I didn’t want to hurt my girlfriend either, so I found an overseas writing job and took off. I probably could have just gone to the nearest big city, yet I needed some distance from who I’d been and who I wanted to be. Only problem is, after four years, I still feel like the same person.”

“No doubt you’ve changed, though. It’s probably subtle things that you don’t realize because you’re with yourself everyday. When you do return home, they’ll notice. And even though they love you, they’ll tell you all about your new so called flaws.”

“Great.” He frowned. “Another fun thing to look forward to-”

“I went through the same thing with my family, Clark. My dad even still acts like this is a phase that I’ll grow out of. The main thing you have to remember is that you need to be true to yourself, even though it’s easier to conform and turn into who they want you to be.” I thought for a moment, then added, “Promise me that you’ll be yourself when you return.”

“Okay.” But he seemed like he was only half serious.

“I’m serious, Clark. Promise me.” There I was begging again, but for whatever reason, I felt like I needed him to agree.

“I promise.”

****

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