The Cat’s Meow

 

 

Heather very timidly knocked on the big oak door in front of her. The house connected to it was big. Scratch that; the damn thing was huge. It looked like a mansion from the outside. The Iron Gate surrounding it had been open, giving the illusion that she’d gone unnoticed until now. Her newly developed stronger hearing allowed her to notice loud music, even through the very heavy wood. There were stomping footsteps, then, “Turn the fucking music down,” right before the door opened. A very petite, pissed off red head stared out at Heather. “Yes?”

 

“Um, I was told you could help me.”

 

“Help you what, honey?” A strawberry blond chunk fell over the girl’s eyes. She impatiently batted it away. It was then Heather noticed the eyes. They were green with a gold band running down the center. Cat eyes. Even as Heather watched they were changing; bleeding into normal human eyes. “Sweetheart, I got no patience for people who waste my time. So, unless you turn furry once a month you got no business here.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Do what, sugar?” The woman blinked like she’d already forgotten what they’d been talking about.

 

“Turn furry. At least I did last night.”

 

“Okay, that’s a start. But what kind of furry?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Wolf, rat, leopard, goat, pig? I gotta know these things.”

 

“Are those my only choices?”

 

The woman’s eyes softened. “You don’t even know? Was last night your first change?” Heather nodded. “Well, come inside. We’ll figure out where you belong. Whether here or somewhere else, we’ll get you settled in.” She led Heather through an entryway through a formal dinning room with a table that could seat at least a dozen into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

 

“No, thank you,” Heather replied politely.

 

”What’s your name, hon?”

 

“Heather.”

 

”Call me Ash.” She poured a huge mug of steaming coffee and motioned Heather towards a barstool. Heather accepted and folded her hands in her lap. Ash watched her fidget for a moment. “Relax. You’re in no immediate danger. We just need to figure out where you belong. Is black hair your natural color?”

 

Heather looked up, surprised at the unusual question. “Yes. Why?”

 

Ash shrugged, sipping her coffee. Her eyes never left Heather. “Our old Alpha had black hair. Do you remember anything from last night?”

 

Heather fidgeted a bit. “Not much. I was watching TV, and I just went blank. All I remember was a lot of pain. Felt like something was tearing my bones out.”

 

“Actually, they were just shifting. It’s very painful for a while. You get used to it though. Why did you come to me?”

 

“I talked to a werewolf I know. He sniffed my neck then told me you could help me.”

 

Ash laughed, “Bet that confused the shit out of you.”

 

The swinging door opened, and in walked one of the prettiest guys Heather had ever seen. His shoulder length blonde hair was sleep tousled, falling around his face in adorable tangles. His blue eyes were wide, with a child like quality to them. He shuffled on bare feet over to Ash. Loose low ride jeans were the only clothing he wore. “Were we expecting company today?”

 

Ash’s expression was of patient kindness as she held out a hand to him. “A little earlier than expected. But yes, we were.”

 

“Oh.” He went to his knees, wrapping both arms around Ash’s waist and snuggling into her side. “So, she’s the one?”

 

“The one what?” Heather asked, totally bewildered.

 

“One of my cat’s lost control, shifted, and attacked a human a few weeks ago; wasn’t a bad attack. I heard the girl was out of the hospital in a week.”

 

“Ten days actually,” Heather whispered. She put her head in her hands. Her world was suddenly spinning out of control. And this bitch had just laid out the facts like it was nothing new. Maybe not to her, but for Heather, this was very new and more than a little scary. “Maybe I’m in the wrong place.” Heather rummaged through her purse, looking for car keys.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so nonchalant. In fact, recently I've been accused of flushing my humanity down the toilet. Sometimes I forget how hard it is to deal with when you’re new. When the change runs your life."

 

Heather stopped rummaging. "When you said your cat, what'd you mean?"

 

"I meant my cat. I'm the Alpha Female."

 

"Is there an Alpha Male?"

 

"Sometimes." Heather left that one alone, but glanced at the boy wrapped around Ash.

 

Ash followed her gaze. "No. This is Shannon. He's more content to cuddle then to rule." Shannon made a purring noise, rubbing his nose back and forth along Ash stomach through her t-shirt.

 

"So what happens if I join the pack and I don't like it?"

 

"Pard, hun. Wolves are pack. Leopards are Pard. And there is no if. If you're not with a group, you're considered rogue. And we hunt rogues. But don't worry. We're one big furry dysfunctional family." Ash absently ran her fingers through Shannon's hair. "We take care of each other. You're going to need help getting though the first couple of months. Sometimes the change comes at very inconvenient times. A pard member will be with you at all times. Just in case."

 

"In case what?"

 

"In case you lose control. It happens sometimes. You'll need to stay around the house for a while. There are enough people here who can control you if you change. We don't recommend going out for at least a couple of weeks, until you can control your beast. We don't know what could set you off." Ash sighed. "But I'm probably scaring the shit out of you."

 

Heather nodded, not afraid to admit it.

 

"It's not that bad. Really. I'm gonna have Shannon show you around, while I finish up some business. Were supposed to have a meeting today."

 

Shannon rose and offered his hand to Heather. She slipped her fingers through his, letting him tug her out of the room. They went back through the dining room then farther into the foyer. Shannon went left at the end toward the stairs. "The bedrooms are up here." He opened a set of double doors to the right. "This is the communal bedroom." Two king size beds were pushed together. An open door showed a large bathroom to the right. And straight ahead glass paneled French doors revealed a spacious balcony.

 

"Explain communal."

 

"Cat pile. Most of us sleep in one big jumble. We like the closeness. There are separate rooms for if you need time alone. You'll be given one."

 

"Yeah, okay."

 

"It really will be okay. Ash is a great Alpha. She takes care of us. Protects us. And she isn't as bitchy as she seems. She's just having a bad day.” Heather arched a questioning eyebrow at him. "Her and her mate were fighting. Let's continue." As they went down the hall, Heather noticed the doors were decorated. Some with posters others with stickers. But all of them had something to mark whose room it was.

 

"Does everyone in the pard live here?"

 

"Most of us. There are a few exceptions, actually one exception. But we over look her."

 

Heather wanted to question further, but Shannon's face had a closed look to it.

 

*************

 

Ash was still leaning against the counter, sipping her coffee, when Jeff found her. "What kept you?" His sexy voice, with it's North Carolina drawl, never failed to make her stomach clinch. Even after the four years they'd been in the pard together.

 

"Our new cat is here."

 

Jeff nodded, stalking closer to Ash. His shirt hung open, exposing nicely tanned muscles and a washboard stomach. The top button of his jeans was undone. He took her mug from her, and set it on the counter. "Still mad at me?"

 

"Uh-huh." Ash could feel her beast responding to his. Jeff picked her up, sitting her on the counter. Her knees hugged his hips.

 

"You sure?"

 

"Uh-uh."

 

Jeff grinned then, all feral and cat like; his beast shot out, lightning quick, and rubbed sensually along hers. Ash threw her head back, her whole body arching. Jeff had gone ridged, his hands convulsively clenching and unclenching on her hips. They both knew what would come next, and when is hit, it left them both gasping. Jeff buried his face against her throat, relearning how to breathe, when their gazes finally met they could both see the others beast staring at them.

 

Ash shook her head, trying to clear it. "We shouldn't be doing this. Especially with so many people in the house."

 

"Why do I feel a 'Jeff this is all your fault' coming on?"

 

"Because you're the one who came in here looking all sexy and distracted me."

 

"Distracted you from what? Your coffee?"

 

"I was trying to decide who we should put the new cat with."

 

"Why don't we put it to the pard? Make it a volunteer thing."

 

"What if I don't like who volunteers?"

 

Jeff sighed. "Ash, you are Alpha Female. All pard decisions are ultimately up to you." He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him when she tried to turn away. "I know you don't like hearing that, but it's true. You've already done a great job of restoring the pard to what it's supposed to be. You have done everything you could to erase all traces of Gabrielle's influence."

 

"Not everything."

 

Jeff hugged her, kissing the top of her head. "She'll mess up. Maybe she already has. We don't know yet."

 

 

***********

 

 

Shannon was just leading Heather outside to the pool when she cried out, almost collapsing. Her skin was on fire, not painful, just different. It caught her by surprise. She felt what she could only describe as power. Almost as soon as it had come, it was gone, leaving her breathless and shaking. "What the hell was that?"

 

A voice answered from her right. "A metaphysical orgasm." A tall lanky blond stood up from a deck lounge, flashing all his pearly whites. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes. He wore only a pair of cutoff jean shorts. Heather briefly wondered if any of the guys around here wore shirts. But then again...Fuck it. Eye candy. Then she remembered what he'd said. "Excuse me?"

 

"It would seem that our Alpha is in a better mood."

 

"Oh." Heather blushed, and she wasn't sure why. Could be that the look he was giving her was pure sex.

 

"You'll understand eventually."

 

Shannon traced small circles on the back of Heather's hand. "This is Heather, Adam."

 

Adam flashed another smile, then looked at his watch. "Let's go in. The meeting will start soon." They led her to the living room, where several people had already gathered. Ash was seated on the love seat; with someone Heather hadn't met yet. Shannon immediately went to Ash sitting on the floor between her legs. Adam went to stand off to Ash's right, behind a muscular blond woman. This left Heather standing alone in the doorway.

 

Ash beckoned her forward. "Come in. Find a seat. We'll start as soon as everyone gets settled."

 

Heather sat in the farthest seat away from everyone. Ash raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. "The meeting of the Blooddrinkers Clan will now commence. Shall we start with introductions?" Ash gestured to the man sitting next to her. "This is the Alpha Male Clayton. His second is Jeff. I am Alpha Female. My second is Trish." The tall blond woman at Ash's side smiled. "This is as far as pard hierarchy goes. Adam is our Enforcer. The others are considered lesser leopards. Although, you will find out no one is considered lesser here. We all have jobs and duties within the pard, and within the house. You will find your niche with time." Ash pointed to Heather’s left. A guy with curly brown hair and glasses was introduced as Micha. To Heather’s right was a guy with waist length blond hair. His bone structure reminded her of something Elven. Must have Fay blood in him. His name was Nicky. When he said hello, his voice held a slight British accent. Shawn was introduced next, though Heather probably wouldn't recognize him tomorrow. What Ash pointed to was a leopard the size of a small pony. He was a sandy brown color, with a playful expression in his eyes. When she met his golden gaze, he made a purring noise at her. "Shawn spends a lot of time in that form. Says it's more fun." Though Ash tried for a stern expression, it didn't make it to her eyes. Shawn amused her, and everyone could tell. "If he has any title it would be self proclaimed pard jester." The huge cat yawned and looked away. "The two in the corner who can't keep their hands off each other are Cherry and Zane." Ash finally came to the last person. She had jet-black hair and a carefully blank expression. But the look in her eyes chilled a person. You could tell with one glance she wasn't there. Something was missing. "And this is Victoria." A long look passed between the two women.

 

When Victoria spoke, her voice was harsh, almost painful to hear. "What? No witty remarks for me? I'm hurt by the lack of attention from our great and powerful Alpha."

 

Ash's face hardened even more. "May I remind you, Victoria, you are on thin ice."

 

"So you've resorted to using threats. Isn't that what you've been trying so hard to avoid? You’ve been preaching to us for months about how a pard shouldn't be run through violence. News flash, Alpha, we are violence. Gabrielle knew that. She was a true Alpha."

 

Ash shot to her feet. "Gabrielle was as crazy as you are. And where is your precious Gabrielle now, Victoria? She's dead. Killed by her own stubbornness."

 

"Wrong, Alpha, she was killed by you. And isn't it so very convenient that after you took over, we cannot fight to the death anymore."

 

"I tried not to kill her, and everyone knows it. She would not back down. It was my life or hers, and I didn't like her much anyway. There are too few of us to have death matches. Look around you, Victoria. There are only 13 of us left. The wolves can afford to fight to the death. Their numbers are over 200. I have been trying to make us a family."

 

Victoria looked at Ash with hate in her eyes. "Fuck family. I ate mine."

 

The change was so fast Heather almost missed it. Ash's eyes had gone cat again. But that wasn't what drew her attention. Ash's hands had changed. Her fingers were elongated; lethal claws gleamed in the sunlight. A low growl escaped her lips. Trish was at her side and Heather heard her whisper. "Ash, now's not the time to get angry. It's too close to the full moon."

 

Clayton made a motion to grab Ash's arm. She hissed at him. "Do not touch me. You are not my Alpha. You are only Alpha because you were her mate. Your days are numbered." Ash stalked out though the sliding glass door. A minute later they heard a splash.

 

Clayton cleared his throat. "Meeting over." He followed the path Ash had taken. She was swimming laps, still fully clothed. "Your temper will get you killed one day."

 

Ash stopped, kicking her legs to stay afloat. "Red hair, Scottish ancestry. What'd you expect?"

 

"I'd expect more out of an Alpha Female."

 

She swam over to the side, pulling herself out of the pool. "Who are you to question me? You were appointed. I earned my right to rule through blood."

 

"Yet you deny others that right?"

 

"There has been enough killing. Fights for dominance are to be expected. But no one has to die. If someone can beat me, than they deserve to be Alpha. I will step down. But until then, I am Alpha Female. And everyone, even you Clayton, must obey my word. And I say no more deaths within my pard."

 

"I'll kill him if I catch you two together." Ash only stared at him. "I'm not stupid, Ash. You don't share my bed, so I know there has to be someone. And I've seen the looks you give each other."

 

"If you kill anyone of my cats, I will tear your throat out."

 

"And break your precious rules?"

 

"There is an exception to every rule, Clayton. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change, and find a babysitter for my new cat. And don't think I don't know who attacked her."

 

"We have two black cats, Ash. You can't prove it was Victoria. Zane is still pretty new. It could've been him."

 

"Could have. But I wouldn't put money on it."

 

***************************************

 

Heather was still sitting speechless when Ash sloshed into the room. "Follow me." She didn't hesitate, afraid to piss her off any more. Ash led her back upstairs to the master bedroom. As soon as they were shut tight, Ash sighed. Heather could feel the tension coming off her in waves. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. We're in the process of changing over to new management." Ash had visibly calmed, so Heather asked.

 

"What'd you mean about Clayton not being a real Alpha?"

 

"He's a real Alpha. Just not mine. Our last Alpha Female, Gabrielle, chose him because he was her mate. Male's used to fight for dominance just like we do, but now its mostly political maneuvering. Who's the strongest, most cunning. She had chosen Clayton because they were just alike. Both blood thirsty."

 

"So why can't you just pick a new Alpha Male?"

 

"Because Clayton would challenge him. And I'm afraid it wouldn't be a fair fight. He's as evil as she was."

 

"So why don't you step in?"

 

"The same reason no one interfered in my fight. It would be seen as a sign of weakness on my part. If I couldn't beat her on my own, I didn't deserve to be Alpha." Ash began pulling clothes out of drawers. "I know this is all terribly confusing, but you'll understand eventually. Just give it time." As they talked, Ash changed into dry clothes. A pair of sweat pants and an old tank top, nothing underneath. "Do you have any other clothes with you?"

 

"No, I didn't think I'd need them."

 

"You're about Trish's size. I'll get her to let you borrow some. They'll end up ruined anyway."

 

"Are we gonna get messy?"

 

Ash laughed. "You're gonna shift in them. Unless you wanna do it naked. Some of us do."

 

"Uh, no thanks."

 

"Tomorrow you can start moving in. After you can control the change, you can live somewhere else if you want, but for now it's best to stay here."

 

Heather nodded. "That way I can't hurt anyone."

 

Two hours later everyone was gathered outside, just past the pool. Heather had already been informed that they would hunt on this property only. The fence was the divider. Stay within the fence. "Heather, don't get spooked when you see us changing. It's a little gross to watch. Or if you want, we can wait until you change. You're gonna be unaware of things in your leopard form the first couple of times, so you won't remember what's going on."

 

"No, it's fine."

 

Ash nodded. Around her, people started shifting. The sounds of bones breaking and reforming could be heard. After it was quiet again, three people were still in human form. Ash glared at Victoria. "Why didn't you shift?"

 

Victoria shrugged. "I prefer to let it come naturally."

 

"I don't think so."

 

A look of fear crossed Victoria's face. "Don't."

 

"You had a chance to do it yourself. You had to rebel. So we'll do it the hard way." Victoria screamed. Her hands reached for something that wasn't there. This time there was no bones shifting or fur rippling out through skin. It was more like an explosion. Suddenly there was a black leopard where Victoria had been standing.

 

"What happened?" Heather asked. She never got to hear the answer, because her own change had started.

 

Late the next morning Ash sat at the kitchen bar, still drinking coffee long after everyone had come and gone. The morning after a hunt food was rarely cooked. Most were still full from the night before. Jeff's familiar smell told Ash he was behind her. "Good morning." Ash didn't say anything.

 

He sighed, coming around to lean on the counter beside her. "What'd I do now?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Then what's with the mad?"

 

"Drop it, Jeff. It's not about you."

 

"You're letting Victoria get to you, huh?"

 

"How can I not? Am I a hypocrite? Am I really doing what's best for the pard?"

 

Jeff reached for her hand, but she pulled away. "I thought this wasn't about me and you?"

 

"Jeff, there is no me and you. I'm Alpha Female and Clayton is Alpha Male. The bond is sacred. You could be killed if we're found together."

 

"The bond is only sacred if the female chooses the male. You didn't. And you won't. You don't think I'm good enough to handle Clayton."

 

"That's not fair, Jeff. You know he's just as dirty as Gabrielle was. He'd kill you and not think twice about it. I couldn't loose you."

 

"Yet you’re okay with never really having me? I think I liked you better before you became Alpha."

 

Ash just stared for a moment. "Repeat."

 

"You heard me."

 

"I said, repeat yourself."

 

"I liked you better before you were Alpha."

 

"You wish Gabrielle was still alive? You want things to be like they were?"

 

"Between us."

 

"You selfish son of a bitch. Don't you realize I'm trying? We couldn't be together before, when she was Alpha. So I challenged her. I damn near got myself killed. But I didn't. And now I'm trying my hardest to get everything okay again, but it's just not enough, is it Jeff?"

 

"Ashley, you know that's not how I meant it."

 

"Don't tell me what I know, Jeff. Tell me what YOU meant by your comment."

 

"Only that you didn't need to be Alpha Female for me. I'd have broken all my oaths for one moment with you."

 

"Save it, Jeff. I know you're a poet. Why don't you write it down and save it for when I'm in a better mood." Ash pointedly ignored the pain in his eyes. "By the way, there’s a girl named Amy coming by the house today. Transfer. I'd like you to meet with her. Feel her out."

 

"That's usually left up to the Alpha's."

 

"Well then. Why don't you go ask Clayton to do it? But I should warn you he’s getting suspicious. I wouldn't cross paths with him more than I had to."

 

"Fine. Anything else?"

 

Ash wanted so badly to say something to wipe the wounded expression off his face. But she only shook her head. "That’s all." As if sensing she needed him, Shannon stepped into the room.

 

"You need a bath,” he said while massaging her shoulders.

 

"Do I stink?"

 

"No. But you need to relax. Come on. I'll wash your hair." His fingers moved to her scalp, gently kneading the tension away. "How's that sound?"

 

"Too good to pass up."

 

Once in the bathroom, Ash allowed Shannon to help her undress while the water ran. She stepped into the large tub, sliding down until only her nose and eyes weren’t submerged. Shannon patiently waited for her to unwind. “Have you decided who's going to the council with you?"

 

Ash almost choked in surprise. Shannon wasn't usually that bold. He preferred to leave pard business up to other people. "Um, no. Not yet." She decided to test his newfound boldness. "Any suggestions?"

 

He shrugged, "Not really."

 

"Come on, Lil Bit. You can talk to me. You're not gonna get punished for having an opinion anymore."

 

"But what if you don't like my suggestions?"

 

"Then I don't have to take them. But it won't hurt to get another opinion. Right now the only person I've decided on is Adam. For muscle."

 

"What about Nicky? He's fast, and knows a lot about hand to hand fighting."

 

"Good idea. What else ya got for me?" Ash sat up and handed him the shampoo bottle.

 

After pouring a generous amount onto Ash's waist length hair, Shannon spoke again. "Micha, maybe?"

 

"Why?" The mirrors surrounding the tub allowed Ash to see him blush. "Don't clam up on me, sugar. I just wanna know why you think he'd impress the other leaders."

 

"'Cause he's so smart. He can do anything with that laptop he always carries."

 

"Uh-huh. And?"

 

”Maybe Trish? She's really agile."

 

Ash shook her head, splattering suds on her cheek. Shannon softly rubbed a cloth over them. "Why not her?"

 

"She's my second. If anything happens to me, I need her here to take care of things."

 

"I didn't think about that."

 

"It's okay. But I still have two more." Conversation was halted while Shannon rinsed the soap from her hair. "What about you?"

 

His eyes went wide. "Me? I won't bring anything to the group. I'm not strong, or smart. I can't fight or protect anybody."

 

"What if I just want you there with me?"

 

"Why?" He wouldn't meet her gaze.

 

"Because I like having you around."

 

"So you can make sure I don't get into trouble?"

 

Ash laughed. "That, AND I recently found out how good you are at giving advice. Who knows? I might even make you the pard advisor."

 

"But our pard's never had one of those."

 

"There's a first time for everything."

 

"And I can't advise you on pard issues."

 

"Shannon, you just did." Ash rinsed the conditioner out, and then laughed again at his stricken expression. "How about we give you some time to get comfortable with the idea."

 

His hair covered his expression. "I don't know if that'll ever happen. I've been a wereleopard for almost five years. I've never been anything more than a pet. More like prey than a predator. I don't think I can be anything else, Ash."

 

She brushed his hair out of his face. "I think you can. But we won't make anything official yet, okay?"

 

"'Kay. But, Ash? Thanks for thinking I could do it."

 

"Sure honey. Do me a favor, huh? Go find Heather. Tell her I'm taking her out to lunch. We’ll leave in an hour."

 

Shannon nodded rising to his feet. "Do you want me to come back? I'll help you brush your hair out."

 

"You know it. I'm about finished in here, but if Heather needs a shower, I'll wait."

 

When Shannon came back, Ash was seated on the bed, one towel wrapped around her body, the other on her head. A blow dryer sat on the nightstand next to a brush. "She'll meet you up here within an hour." Ash nodded, closing her eyes as Shannon towel dried the length of her hair. Almost 45 minutes later, when most of her hair was dry, she pulled it to the side, loosely braiding it. When Heather entered the room, she saw the pained look on Shannon's face. Following his gaze to Ash's back, Heather cringed. From the tops of her shoulders to just above the towel small irregular white scars could be seen. Some were round, others long. All looked painful.

 

"Done staring?" Ash's voice startled the other two.

 

Heather stammered an apology.

 

"Don't. It's fine. This is an example of how things used to be run, what Victoria and Clayton would like to go back to." When Ash dropped the towel to begin pulling clothes on, Heather saw the scars were thick all the way down to her butt. There were a few sprinkled here and there down onto her legs. After Ash had dressed, she turned to Heather. "She ran out of fresh skin on my back, so she started to move down not long before I challenged her. Everyone here knows how it feels to be beaten, but I took more than my fair share. I think she'd have eventually killed me."

 

"But I though we could heal anything. Why do you have so many scars?"

 

"Silver. Gabriel put silver balls at the end of the whip. Any damage taken from silver will scar. And it takes longer to heal."

 

"How sadistic."

 

Ash's smile was bitter. "You don't know the half of it. And hopefully, you'll never experience anything like it."

 

After that they both dropped the subject. Shannon kissed Ash on the cheek and wandered out. The two girls went down to the garage where several cars were parked. Ash hit a button on her key chain and Heather heard the beep on an alarm. "Which one's yours?"

 

Ash pointed to a silver mustang. She sighed as she slid down into the black leather seat. After putting the top down, she pealed out, making Heather clutch the armrest. "You put a scratch in my baby and you're gonna regret it."

 

Heather glanced at her death grip and tried to relax. "Sorry."

 

"I'm just kidding. Lighten up." Ash popped a CD in, turning the volume up to be heard over the wind. A sultry southern voice that Heather didn't recognize filtered through the speakers. He sang a few lines acappella before the first guitar riffs joined in. By the time the rest of the band was playing, Heather bobbed her head along.

 

"I don't think I've ever heard them. Who is this?"

 

Ash shrugged evasively. "They're local. Mostly a lycanthrope following. I forget the name." She turned into a little Japanese restaurant and cut the engine. Heather followed her into the dim interior. A small woman led them to a table in a back corner. She spoke to Ash in Japanese; Ash responded in kind.

 

"You speak Japanese?"

 

Ash nodded, lighting a cigarette. "Among other things. Chin-La just asked if you were new or I was playing nice with the humans today."

 

"Is she a lycanthrope?"

 

"You tell me."

 

Heather gave Ash a puzzled frown. "How should I know? I just met her."

 

"Let your beast branch out. You can feel power. It's like a tingling feeling across you skin. Just don't think about it. You're concentrating so hard on not losing control, that you'll never learn control."

 

"But what if I do lose control?"

 

"You won't. Part of being Alpha means I can control other beasts as well, as long as they're pard. I can either suppress them or bring them out."

 

"Is that what you did to Victoria?"

 

There was a mischievous gleam in Ash's eye when she answered. "Yep. It's not always that painful. I hate to be cheesy, but it's kinda like calling the kitty out to play. The beast can't resist the call of a true Alpha. Hers I called forcefully, so it responded forcefully. I can also coax it out slowly, so the change is less painful. I would do that if one of my cats were badly hurt and needed to shift to heal."

 

"And that would fix the problem?"

 

"Goddess have mercy, child. I keep forgetting how much you don't know."

 

The waitress came over at that point, getting their drink order. Luckily she spoke English. Ash picked up the menu, so Heather followed suit. "Ash?"

 

"Mmmm?"

 

"I don't like sushi."

 

Ash peeked over the top of her menu. "Why ever not, sugar?"

 

Heather made a face. "It's raw fish."

 

"You ate raw meat last night. You don't think that deer we killed was cooked over an open flame do you?"

 

"I don't remember eating a deer last night. I blanked out as I shifted. I don't remember anything but waking up this morning."

 

"You'll remember eventually. But they have a full menu here. Turn the page."

 

Heather found something remotely appetizing by the time the waitress returned. Conversation resumed after the order was placed. "Back to your question. If you're wounded pretty bad, say by another lycanthrope, which would make you heal human slow, you shift. Boom bye bye ouchies. Course the down side to that is once you shift you have to feed. If you change back, you're spending too much energy with out replacing it. You're tapped. You'll be snoozing for about 12 hours while your energy slowly returns."

 

"Makes sense. One more question."

 

"Ask away."

 

"Where are you from? Sometimes you sound southern. Others I can't place where the accent comes from. It's confusing as hell."

 

Ash laughed. "My mother's from New Orleans. She's a voodoo priestess. My father's a Scottish druid. I spent a lot of time in the bayou and the highlands. Plus I have an almost perfect accent with all the languages I know."

 

"How many is that?"

 

"About 10. My parents were very big on me being cultural. I even spent several summers studying Vauden with a Necromancer. He's a friend of the family. Kinda like an evil uncle. He's also my godfather."

 

"Wow."

 

"Yeah. I was pretty at home with the monsters before I actually became one. My parents are so proud." Ash smiled to show she was joking. Their food arrived, and they made small talk while they ate. "How would you like to attend a council meeting with me?"

 

"A what?"

 

Ash played with her chopsticks. "I have one more spot to fill. I think it'd be a good learning experience. Teach you etiquette and all that bullshit."

 

"Sure. I mean, I guess. What's the meeting about?"

 

"Bounty hunters. Well, one actually. He's been picking off lycanthropes and other preternatural beings left and right all over this area. All the leaders are getting together to talk about how to catch him. So far no one's seen him. We don't even know if he's a rouge or a human."

 

"So where do I come in?"

 

"Like I said. You'll learn how to act around other Alphas. Proper greetings, that kinda thing. There'll be other pard members there, so don't worry about being left to your own devices while I talk murder with other Alphas."

 

"Thank God."

 

Ash paid the bill, left a tip, and they were off. "I'll try to take you out a few times so you won't get so bored around the house. But I won't have time everyday." Ash parked the car back in the garage. As they walked toward the living room, Ash paused. She sniffed the air and her face turned red. She practically flew into the room. Heather tried to keep up.

 

A tall red head was seated on Jeff's lap. Both seemed to be enjoying themselves. A low laugh came from the girl as Jeff's lips trailed down her cleavage. Ash's vision dimmed, until all she could see was the tall intruder. She was on the girl in a few strides. Ash grabbed a handful of hair and flung her backwards. The impact was enough to make plaster fall from the ceiling. That quick she was dismissed from Ash's mind. When she turned to Jeff, her green eyes were feral. "Did you get confused?"

 

Jeff was breathing heavy, his own eyes not so human anymore. "Confused about what?"

 

"Did her trashy ass, Clairol dyed hair confuse you? Did you think she was me? I'm the only red head here."

 

"Ash, you have no reason to get this mad."

 

"You're right. You're so fucking right."

 

Shannon came running into the room. "Ash, you have to calm down. Everyone can feel your anger. You have better control than this."

 

Ash took a deep breath, and then turned to the only other red head. She held a hand out to the still stunned girl. "I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'm Ash. You must be Amy."

 

Amy nodded. "Yeah, well. Love will do that to ya."

 

Ash glanced over her shoulder. "Yes. Yes it will. Once again, I'm sorry. I don't rule my pard with violence. You will not receive this kind of treatment again."

 

"Your pard?" Amy's eyes were round. "You're Alpha Female? I didn't know he's an Alpha."

 

"He's not."

 

Amy blinked in confusion. Then realization struck. She finally accepted Ash's still offered hand. "I don't really understand. But then again, it's probably better that way."

 

"Probably." Shannon began tugging Ash away, toward the stairs. When they got to the bedroom, Ash pulled out her cell phone. She dialed a number by heart. She got an answering service, left a message and hung up.

 

"Your godfather?"

 

Ash nodded, rubbing her temples. "I need advice in a big way. I'm not sure about anything anymore."

 

"Side affect of being in charge." He grabbed a bottle of Vanilla lotion. "Strip."

 

Ash didn't question him, just started pulling off clothes. Shannon crawled on the bed beside her. He squeezed some lotion onto his hands, rubbing them together to warm it. Ash sighed as he smoothed the fragrant cream into her skin. Her nerve endings were fired up with too much tension; too many confrontations. A nice massage was just what she needed. Ash closed her eyes, sinking slowly into sleep. She tried not to think. Tried only to concentrate on Shannon's hands kneading the stress from her muscles.

 

The bed shifted and she felt his feather light touch on her ankles, moving up. His caressing strokes traveling upward, to her thighs. Then inward. Ash's eyes popped open as Shannon's massage took on a whole new meaning. The tips of his thumbs brushed her intimately. He must have taken her silence as permission to explore further, because his touch became bolder. His searching fingers found her most sensitive part. Ash gasped, "Shannon. Dear Goddess what're you doing?"

 

"You don't like it?" His voice wasn't quite so childlike.

 

Ash scrambled away from him, huddling against the headboard. "That’s not the problem."

 

Shannon got off the bed and locked the door. "The problem is, it's been way too long. Ash, Gabriel's rules don't apply anymore." His childish mask slipped in to place again. "And I'm not a threat to anyone’s dominance." He peeled his shirt off before climbing back on the bed. His fingers encircled her ankle, gently but determinedly pulling her away from the headboard. “Just go with it."

 

Ash was still in shock when he kissed her. His lips were soft, his tongue warm as he ran it along the seam of her mouth. She opened up, allowing him access. This time his hands went for her breasts. Cupping each of them. He kissed down her neck to her chest, teasing her a bit before taking a nipple into his mouth. Ash practically arched off the bed. Shannon pushed her back down with a hand on her stomach. He could feel her whole body shaking. He lightly ran his fingers back and forth across her lower abdomen.

 

Ash tunneled her fingers through his hair and forced him to look at her. "You're right. It has been way too long." Before he could say anything, she flipped him onto his back. Her hands immediately went for his jeans. He helped her by lifting his hips. She got them to his knees then abandoned them. He was already hard, his length obvious through his boxers. Ash caressed him through the material. Shannon made little gasping noises. When she leaned down to bite his inner thigh he jackknifed, sitting straight up. Shannon threw her back down, pausing to rid himself of his jeans and boxers. Ash stared at him through passion-glazed eyes.

 

"I want to taste you." Ash felt frozen as she watched Shannon crawl up her body, stopping halfway. He spread her legs wide enough to accommodate his shoulders. "You gonna freak again when I touch you?"

 

"I'm gonna cry if you don't."

 

"Well, I don't wanna be responsible for that." Once again using his thumbs, he spread her apart. Ash watched him lower his blond head. The first flick of his tongue made her jump, the second grab the sheets. When he fastened his mouth on her clit, she ripped the cloth in her hands. Never pausing, Shannon moved her hands to his shoulders. Ash didn't question, just held on tight. With his left hand on her stomach, he held her down. Then inserted two fingers into her.

 

"Sh...Shannon…if you don't stop.... I’m gonna cum."

 

But he didn't. And she did. Shannon gently kissed her hip and laid his head on her stomach, waiting for her to catch her breath. Eventually he felt her fingers in his hair. She felt his lips move against her. "Thank you."

 

"What're you thanking me for? Shannon, I didn't do anything."

 

"Yes, you did. More than you know." There was a knock on the door. Ash slid out from under him, pulling a robe on. Shannon was still buttoning his jeans when he opened the door.

 

"I just came to check on..." Jeff’s eyes went wide. "Shannon. Her smell is all over you."

 

Shannon just looked at his feet, not saying anything. Jeff looked to Ash. Her skin was flushed, her hair a mess. She looked completely satisfied. "Shannon, go."

 

He started to obey, but Ash stopped him. "No, come here." When he reached her, she tucked his hair behind his ears, looking him in the eyes. "Go take a shower. You can use my bathroom. Don't worry about anything."

 

Once the door was closed Ash turned back to Jeff. "Did you want something?"

 

"I was coming up here to apologize."

 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Jeff. And neither do I."

 

"Did you do it to get back at me? Because if you did...if you're just using Shannon."

 

Ash remembered why Jeff was reacting so badly to finding them together. He and Shannon had been together. A long time ago, but still neither one had really moved on. ”I didn't do anything out of vengeance."

 

"Lately, I'm having a hard time believing that."

 

Ash flinched. "That was low, Jeff. But how did you expect me to react when I saw you with Amy. You planned that to make me jealous."

 

Jeff strode across the room, grabbing her shoulders. "And even if I did. It doesn't matter. You shouldn't be jealous. Because there's nothing between us, remember?" When she wouldn't meet his eyes he got angry. "Or is there?" His kiss took her by surprise. There was no emotion behind it, just anger. He forced his tongue in her mouth. She let him, refusing to react.

 

When he pulled back, he smiled cruelly. "That's strange. I don't taste him on you. So I'm thinking, maybe I'm not missing much. Maybe you're a selfish bitch in the bedroom as well."

 

Ash slapped him. Hard. Hard enough to turn him halfway around. He faced her again, licking blood from his lip. "Did you make him bleed, while he made you cum? He likes that ya know."

 

"Get out."

 

"Or maybe it was the other way around."

 

"GET OUT!" Ash was screaming now, and it turned into a sob. Trish was suddenly pushing past Jeff.

 

"What's going on?"

 

Neither spoke. Jeff trailed his fingers down Trish's arm, while staring at Ash. "Maybe I'll return the favor. See how it makes you feel."

 

"I said get out. That was an order."

 

When he was gone, Trish knelt down by Ash. "What was that about?"

 

"Shannon and I had sex. Kind of."

 

Trish wisely didn't say anything else. She helped Ash up, sitting her on her bed. She sat down beside her. "So he knows about us?"

 

Ash nodded. "I told him awhile ago."

 

"Why'd you go to Shannon?"

 

"Don't do this,” Ash buried her head in her hands. "Just go. I'm fine. I just need to be alone." She heard Shannon exit the bathroom and both of them leave. They were only gone a few moments when she shifted. The animal scream that people often mistook for a woman's cry was heard throughout the house. Followed by the sound of heavy things being ripped apart. Glass shattered, then silence.

 

Adam was the only one brave enough to make sure their Alpha hadn't killed herself. He came back down shaking his head. "She's gone."

 

That night, Adam led the hunt. Some of them caught glimpses of a large red and white spotted cat, but only for a second.

 

 

After lunch the next day Heather and Adam were doing dishes. "Is she okay?"

 

Adam shrugged, "I talked to her a little bit this morning. She said to tell everybody not to have a crisis for the next few days. Then told me to get out." He glanced sideways at Heather’s worried expression. "She'll be fine. She's pretty strong. And I don't just mean physically. She's just got a lot going on. Too much damage to repair."

 

"What kind of damage?"

 

Adam sighed. "I guess you have to find out eventually. It's not a big deal, just lots of dirty laundry. I'm sure you've heard some about our old Alpha?"

 

Heather continued to dry and put up dishes. "Gabrielle?"

 

"Yeah. Sadistic bitch." The hatred on Adam’s face made Heather pause. He kept washing plates, not looking at her. "She had all these stupid rules. Things like we couldn't have sex with other cats, you were more likely to slice up a human during sex. Make them one of us. She couldn't just tell us to go cut up random people, so she got around it. She had other rules, but that one seemed the worst. And the punishments." Adam squeezed a glass until it shattered. Heather gasped. He just stared at it a moment, shards sticking out of his hand. Heather gently took the dishrag from him. After she pulled the pieces out, he started to heal. There was so much pain in his eyes; it hurt to look at them. "She would strip us naked, strap us to a bondage cross and have another cat beat us. She wouldn't do it herself. She liked to see us hurt each other." He pulled away from Heather's soft grasp and gripped the counter. The wood groaned. "Only one of us stood up to her on a regular basis. She refused to use the whip. And took beatings for most of us. Even me."

 

"Ash?"

 

"Yeah. She didn't care how many lashes she'd have to take; she would not play Gabrielle’s games. Ashley spent more time laid up than healthy. I wanted to be brave, to take on other's punishments. But I couldn't. I just couldn’t'."

 

Heather realized he was crying. Not sobbing. Just tears silently sliding down his cheeks. "Day after day I watched someone get beaten. And I just stood there. We were all so afraid of her. But not Ash. No." Adam laughed with no humor. "A fucking five foot two girl was...no is...stronger than me." Adam looked down at his already healed hands. "I've done some awful things. I'm not squeamish. I can kill if I need to. But I was terrified. I couldn't do a damn thing to help her. And I still can't. Even though Gabrielle’s gone, I still can't shake the fear of her. She made me. I thought she was just a hot girl coming on to me in a bar. She changed right on top of me." Adam shook his head, and wiped angry hands across his cheeks. "Worst fucking experience of my life."

 

Heather didn't realize she'd been crying to until he ran his thumbs under her eyes. "Don't cry for me. All of us have some sob story or another. There’s not enough tears in you for all of us." He dropped his hand from her face and continued. "Since the only people we could have sex with were humans, I just didn't. My experience was so horrible that I didn't want any one else to go through it. Most of us made that decision."

 

"You think that's why Ash and Shannon...” She let the sentence trail off.

 

"Ashley is in a really hard position right now. But that's her business to tell. It's just really messy. So don't blame her for what her and Shannon did. He needed to be someone’s. What they did was just the next step. Maybe one day he'll heal completely."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Gabrielle used to like to hurt him the most. He can't take any kind of pain. She said he was the most fun to punish because he screamed the loudest. But Ash stood up for him time and again. She could still be bleeding from her own punishment, but she'd get up and take his too. None of us had the guts to. That’s the only time Gabrielle would use the whip. Then she'd be so mad she'd beat Ash unconscious. Shannon attached himself to her. Knew there was finally someone who gave a damn about him."

 

"You don't have to talk about it anymore."

 

"That's about all of it. There were a lot of other horrible things that happened, but that's a decent overview." After Adam changed the dishwater, they went back to washing. When everything was put up, he grinned. "Wanna go swimming?"

 

"Sure, let me change real quick."

 

"No need." He picked Heather up, threw her over his shoulder, and marched toward the pool. Heather yelled obscenities at his back. "Hold your breath."

 

She had just enough time to draw a quick lungful of air before he jumped in. Heather sputtered when she surfaced, smacking at Adam. Several other people had come out to investigate and some jumped in as well. Her and Adam playfully dunked each other for a while, wrestling in the water. Heather was about to jump at him again when she noticed he was no longer paying attention to her. She turned to see Ash standing in the doorway.

 

"You guys got room for one more?" She seemed unsure of herself.

 

Trish was the one that got out of the pool. She plodded over in waterlogged jeans. "Since when do you ask permission to do anything?"

 

"Since I feel like I fucked up royally."

 

Trish turned back to the pool. "Anyone present mad at our Alpha?" No one said anything. Trish shrugged. "You're cool with us."

 

"Yeah, but where's Jeff?"

 

"In his room. Pouting. He'll get over it."

 

"What about you?"

 

"Concentrate on more important issues. We'll get to that eventually."

 

"Enough talk." A sandy blond guy Heather didn't recognize went for Ash. "You're going in."

 

"Shawn, don't. Let me take my jeans off." Ash didn't have time. Shawn picked her up and tossed her in with everyone else.

 

Heather grinned, "So that's what Shawn looks like."

 

"Most of us don't recognize him either." Adam winked at her.

 

"Hey. You've got green eyes."

 

"Yeah."

 

"This is the first time I've seen you with out those dark sunglasses."

 

"Shut up." He placed a hand on her head and pushed. Heather grabbed his shirt and pulled him with her.

 

 

 

The day of the meeting finally arrived. Early that morning over breakfast, Ash announced who would go with her. "Trish, you'll be in charge in my absence. No one leaves this house alone. The hunter hasn't bothered us yet, but let’s not let that make us cocky. Besides, a hunter is less likely to attack a group of us than one alone."

 

They all nodded in agreement. "What about Clayton?" Trish asked.

 

"What about him?"

 

"You said I'm in charge. He technically is. He's Alpha."

 

"I don't trust him. I trust you with my cats. I have to take Adam and Nicky with me, so you and Shawn will be the strongest. I need you guys to keep everyone safe."

 

Both nodded. "We'll do our best."

 

"That's all I'm asking for."

 

********************

 

Before they left, Ash stopped by Jeff's room. He'd only come out a few times in the last two weeks. She tentatively knocked. "Come in."

 

He was lying on his bed. Bush played softly in the background. The only light was blue, coming from a fish tank that ran almost the length of the bed. Ash looked around. She'd spent many nights in here, listening to music, talking. He'd sang to her for the first time here, with nothing but the fish tank to light the room. Glycerine. That was the song. She'd fallen for him by the time he finished.

 

"I just came to say bye."

 

"Okay."

 

"Are you gonna stay mad at me forever?"

 

"I don't know, Ash." He was watching the fish, refusing to look at her.

 

"I guess I should give you time?"

 

"I don't know if there's enough time."

 

"Even if something were to happen to Clayton?"

 

"Don't play with me Ash. Besides, where has Shannon been staying at night?"

 

"With me."

 

"You’re not even trying to hide it?"

 

"Should I, Jeff? Do you want me to lie to you? Tell you I don't like the way Shannon makes me feel? That I don't like finally having a relationship with someone? Like I wish I could have with you."

 

"So you are using him?"

 

"No."

 

"You just said he's a replacement for me. That's using him."

 

"He knows I want you, Jeff. Hell, everyone knows that. I've never tried to be secretive about it. But we can't be together. And at least I'm not flaunting what Shannon and I have in your face."

 

"Well, kudos for you. Now get out. You have a meeting to get to."

 

"Maybe we can talk when I get back?"

 

Jeff finally looked at her. "I don't see that we'd have anything to talk about then and not now."

 

"Maybe you could read some of your poetry. Or sing. You know, like we used to do."

 

"I don't feel very creative, Ash. Just go. Go play Alpha."

 

Ash left, closing the door quickly, before the tears could start. She rested her head against the door for a moment, her fingers lightly tracing the band posters that they'd picked out together. She was so caught up in her own thoughts; she didn't hear him move within the room. She had no idea that he was mimicking her. He stayed there long after she'd left. When he finally moved, he flung the door open. Trish stared at him with startled eyes. "I need some air. I'll be back later."

 

 

 

Ash stared blankly out the window. Everything was a green/brown blur. Her thoughts were still at home. Back in that blue lit room. She kept thinking there was something else she should've said or done. Anything would've been better than leaving him wounded. She'd have to think of something to do when she got back.

 

Adam's voice came out of the darkness, startling her. "You still awake?"

 

Ash glanced at the driver's side. "Yeah. Got a lot on my mind."

 

"And you're about to get a lot more. We'll be there in an hour."

 

"I wish you'd have let someone else drive. You've got to be tired."

 

"Nah. I'll just be glad when I can stretch."

 

"We'll break up the driving on the way back."

 

"We'll see. Why don't you take a nap while you can, we have a long night ahead of us."

 

Ash did doze off. She woke when the car stopped outside a Holiday Inn. "Three rooms right?"

 

She wiped a hand across her face and nodded at Adam.

 

"Why so many?" Micha asked around a yawn.

 

"'Cause nobody wants to see you and Nicky in the morning. Or have a front row seat for what ya'll do at night."

 

Nicky blushed and Micha grinned. "Fine by me. But you're missing a good show. Nicky can get into some weird ass positions. He should be a contortionist."

 

Shannon shook his head at the two. "That falls under the category of too much info."

 

"Why are we stopping at the hotel?" Nicky made an effort to change the subject. "I thought we'd be at council tonight."

 

"We're just checking in. And we need to clean up and change." Adam came back. He handed Ash and Nicky a room key and kept one for himself. He winked at Heather. "Come on. I'll wash your back if you wash mine." Heather bounded out of the car, eager to get on with it.

 

"Don't keep her too long, sugar. We'll meet back at the car in an hour."

 

Everyone grabbed their bags and headed for the rooms. Shannon insisted on carrying his and Ash's. Once inside the room Ash began pulling clothes out for them both. After laying everything neatly on the bed, she headed for the shower. Glancing back, she saw Shannon sitting in a chair by the window. "You’re not gonna join me?"

 

"I thought I’d give you some privacy."

 

"What's wrong, sugar?"

 

Shannon shook his head, tears glistening in the moonlight. "I'm causing too many problems."

 

"You mean between me and Jeff?"

 

He nodded.

 

"No, hon, the only thing we need to make us fight is for both of us to be breathing."

 

"But it didn't used to be like that."

 

"No. It really didn't. But things change."

 

"Why? Why do things have to change? Why can't you two just be happy?"

 

"'Cause that's just the way shit is, Shannon. Life sucks sometimes. But if you're lucky you have a few moments when it doesn't."

 

"Do I give you any of those moments? Or do I just make things suck between you and Jeff?"

 

She took his hands in hers. "Sweet heart, right now you ARE those moments. When I feel like everything is going to shit and my world is crashing down around me, I know you'll be there. You're the constant in my crazy world." She pulled him to her in a tight hug. "You're my sweet Shannon. You make the bad stuff bearable."

 

"But what if you and Jeff find a way to be together? What'll happen to me? Who will I belong to?"

 

"Maybe by that time, if it ever happens, you won't NEED to belong to someone."

 

"What if I don't wanna give you up?"

 

"Then you won't have to."

 

He gave her a skeptical look. "Don't joke. I know who your heart really belongs to."

 

"That's funny. I'm not even sure anymore."

 

Shannon looked at his watch. “We're wasting time. Let's shower."

 

When they were clean, dry, and dressed, Ash reluctantly placed a soft leather collar around Shannon's neck. "I hate these things."

 

"Why?"

 

"They're so demeaning." She winked at him. "I wouldn't mind so much if it was just me and you. But in front of other people, it just seems cruel."

 

Shannon shrugged. "I don't mind it. Besides, you have to show the other Alphas you're the leader."

 

"I know. But I can silently hate it."

 

Shannon kissed her nose. "Well, maybe I'll leave it on when we get back tonight."

 

Ash laughed and smacked his shoulder lightly. "Behave."

 

His face took on a serious expression just before they left. "When the time comes, and you choose Jeff, I'll understand."

 

Ash had no comforting words, so she said nothing. They’d just have to cross that bridge if they came to it. Here's hoping she could manage not to scar anyone too deeply.

 

*******************

 

Nicky and Micha were already waiting by the car. Micha sat on the hood of the SUV wearing a pair of leather pants the collar and a smile. He'd left the glasses off tonight. His best friend, an ultra modern laptop was in its case by him. Nicky wore loose black cotton pants that would allow him to move freely. Try putting a martial arts expert in skintight leather. Now there's a huge fight just waiting to happen.

 

"Where are Heather and Adam?"

 

Nicky spoke without glancing up from cleaning one of his knives. "Haven’t showed yet."

 

Just then a door opened behind them. Ash and Shannon turned to see a grinning Adam emerge. He was wearing the skintight pants and a leather shirt unbuttoned. And of course, black shades. He tugged Heather by the hand after him. When she caught sight of Ash, she glared. "Why can't I wear something like she's got on?"

 

"Because she's Alpha. You're not."

 

Ash looked down at her leather pants, not too tight, and midnight blue silk shirt; then at Heather’s micro mini skirt and blood red corset. "I look like a whore. And this collar’s choking the shit out of me."

 

"Obviously not enough that she can't complain." Nicky winked at Micha.

 

"I'm sorry, Heather. I really am. But I'm expected to have my cats on display."

 

Heather pointed to her cleavage, boosted up by the corset. "Good job. 'Cause you can't help but see everything. I feel like my butt's hanging out."

 

Adam looked behind her. "Nope."

 

She only glared, afraid if she hit him once, she wouldn't be able to stop. "We're gonna be late. Let's go."

 

Heather was still grumbling when she got in the car. Adam drove with Ash in the passenger seat. “I take it you didn't tell her about the leash?"

 

"Are you kidding? I practically had to wrestle her down to get the collar on her. You can break the news about the leash."

 

"Leash? What leash? No one mentioned a leash," Heather whined.

 

Micha patted her hand. "Well, technically, hun, you just did. Three times."

 

"Fuck off. What fucking leash?" The girls voice was getting higher in pitch.

 

Ash turned in the seat. "Another sign of my dominance. My lesser cats are put on a leash. I hold the end of it."

 

"What about Adam and Nicky? How come they don't have leashes and collars?"

 

"Kind of hard to protect you when we're on a leash." Nicky smiled sarcastically.

 

"Yeah well, fuck you too."

 

"Geez, girl. You sure are feistier than you let on." Ash had to laugh at her.

 

"A corset and a leash'll do that to ya."

 

Shannon piped in. "Just don't think about it. It's not so bad. After awhile you don't even notice it. By the end of the week it won't bother you at all."

 

Heather groaned. "Great a whole week of this shit."

 

They pulled up to a huge warehouse in the middle of nowhere. A large scruffy man stopped them at the gate. "Name." He had a deep booming voice.

 

"Hey Big Daddy." He gave her a stern look. "Oops. I mean uh, Ashley, Alpha Female of the Blooddrinkers clan."

 

"How many cats are with you?"

 

"Including my two bodyguards five."

 

”How old is your youngest cat?"

 

"Two weeks past her first full moon?"

 

The man looked surprised. "Jesus, Ash. Why'd you bring her?"

 

"We don't all come from big clans, Kevin."

 

Kevin sighed loudly. "Just keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

 

"Will do."

 

He stepped back, waving them onward. Heather asked from the back seat. "What was he?"

 

Micha snickered. "Werebear. You couldn't tell?"

 

"I didn't know there was such a thing."

 

"They're among the more rare versions of lycanthropy." Heather gave him a blank look, so he continued. "For some reason certain types of lycanthropy are harder to contract than others. Wolf is the most common, followed by rat. Bear, hyena, leopard, lion, and tiger are among the least common. If you have any in an area, their groups are small. Snake and swan lycanthropy aren't contracted. It's passed down through the male. Or it can be cursed on someone."

 

"A wereswan? Sounds like dinner."

 

Ash turned in her seat again. “Well, when you meet one, don't eat it. They will be here tonight. Among other non-predator weres. You guys won't be with me every second. So remember that everything you do reflects back on me. So lets try not to eat anyone this week. And there's one person in particular everyone needs to stay away from. He's almost seven feet tall, wears black robes, radiates scary. His followers call him the dark lord. But he goes by other names, too. I'm not sure if he'll be here, but it's a possibility."

 

"Why do we have to stay away?" Heather asked.

 

"If he doesn't know you, he might do something awful to you. And I might not be there to protect you."

 

After they parked, and leashes were attached, they entered the warehouse. All of them felt the slap of power. It was warm and smelled vaguely of the woods.

 

"What is that?" Heather asked. "I can feel all the lycanthrope power. But there's something else. Something cold. Almost dead."

 

"Vampires." Adam answered. "There are vampires here. Great."

 

"Just keep together." Ash tugged them forward. Nicky and Adam moved a little closer to each side of Ash. They mingled for a little bit. Ash knew most of the other Alphas. Heather was introduced to so many new people; she couldn't keep the names straight. They wandered over to a large group of people that were in a circle. A cheer went up through the crowd. "Adam."

 

Adam wrapped his hands around Ash's hips and boosted her up enough so she could see. She tapped his arm after a moment and he lowered her.

 

"They're doing hand-to-hand combat. There's a big guy in there right now. I think he's a cat of some sort. He's winning."

 

Nicky's eyes gleamed. He dropped to one knee before Ash. "With your permission, Alpha, I would like to best this contest for your glory."

 

"You were born a coupla centuries too late, sugar. But sure, go ahead."

 

Nicky began stretching, readying himself with a smile. Micha braided his hair for him. Nicky paid him no attention. Now that a new participant had been announced, a few people had made a hole. Nicky stared hard at the big blond in the ring, as if studying his every move. The guy was taller than Adam, with wide shoulders and enough muscle mass to break Nicky in half. When the loser limped out of the circle, Nicky stepped forward. The big man laughed. "Is this the best you've got? He's smaller than the last one."

 

"Don't laugh just yet, big man. Wait 'till you see what I can do." Nicky's voice was dead calm, and carried to everyone.

 

A well-built man with brown hair laughed loudly. “Come on Drew. Get this over with. I’m hungry man.” A petite, but well muscled Mexican woman next to him wasn’t looking at the fight. She was staring holes at Ash.

 

Micha drew in a quick breath beside her, and Ash turned her attention back to the fight. Nicky’s lip was already bleeding, and his pants were ripped. It was then Ash spotted the knife in Drew’s hand. Ash leaned close to Micha. “Why doesn’t Nicky pull a knife? I know he’s hiding one somewhere.”

 

“You know how he is. He thinks he’s unbeatable. He sees that other knife as an equalizer for Drew.”

 

“No, his equalizer is sheer size. Nicky better start thinking with something besides his ego.”

 

A quick slash, followed by a line of crimson staining Nicky’s abdomen; he fell backwards, but sprang up quickly. Ash and Micha knew what to look for, so both caught a glint of silver when he stood.

 

Drew didn’t until he felt the blade bite across his arm. “How’d you do that, little man?”

 

Nicky didn’t say a word. The two traded blows until both had several shallow cuts. They weren’t healing. Both blades were real silver.

 

“Finish it, Nicky.” Micha whispered, tense beside Ash.

 

Nicky went in for a strike, but Drew caught his hand, slamming his fist down on Nicky’s elbow. The wet sound of bones breaking turned Ash’s stomach. Adam had to restrain Micha from running into the circle. Nicky suddenly dropped down, with Drew still holding his useless arm. Drew wasn’t expecting any more struggling. What he got was a silver blade about six inches through the thigh. Ash flinched when she saw the blade come out the other side.

 

Nicky’s soft British voice floated over the cries of the crowd. “Give.”

 

Drew nodded, releasing Nicky’s arm. “I give man.”

 

Nicky slowly withdrew the knife. Only after Drew limped to his group did Nicky leave the circle. Once again he went to one knee in front of Ash. “Did my performance please you?”

 

She cupped his face in her hands and laid a kiss on his forehead. “You take too many risks. Micha is beside himself with worry. Go to him. Let him see for himself you’re okay.”

 

Nicky rose, allowing Micha to hug him. “Ash, we’ve got to get his arm set before it starts to heal. If we don’t we’ll have to rebreak it.”

 

“Well, there’s got to be someone around who can do this shit.”

 

A graying woman in her 50’s pushed her way through the crowd. “I’m Dr. Lillian. I can do this shit.” She examined Nicky quickly. “The cuts aren’t too deep. They’ll heal fine in about a week. But I’m probably gonna have to rebreak part of your arm. Would you like to hold onto something, dear?”

 

“No.” Nicky smiled a little, however, when Micha held onto him. Micha wiped the sweat from his face and kissed him on the cheek.

 

This time Nicky screamed when his arm broke. His adrenaline rush was gone and he felt sick. The touch of Micah’s cool fingers on his face kept him from passing out. Dr. Lillian pulled a splint from a pack she wore on her back. “You should be able to take this off in about two days.”

 

Nicky straightened up, still letting Micha support him. “Thank you.”

 

“Alright. We’ve had enough fun for one night. Let’s go back to the hotel and get some sleep.”

 

The Mexican woman, the guy she was with, and Drew were waiting for them by the door. “You’re Alpha of the Blooddrinkers Clan, right?”

 

Ash nodded at her. “And you are?”

 

“Michelle. Alpha of the Red Paw Clan.”

 

Ash gasped. “Then that means…”

 

“Yeah, Rose is dead. The bounty hunter got her. I’m Alpha by default.” She gestured to the men behind her. “We’re all that’s left of our pard.” She took a deep breath. “Rose said if we ever needed any help to ask you. Well I’m askin’”

 

“What kind of help do you need?”

 

“There are only three of us. We’re just bait for the hunter.”

 

“You’re asking to join my pard?”

 

Michelle nodded, the effort obviously difficult for her. “We’re prepared to take vows of loyalty to you and your pard.”

 

“Do you guys have a room yet?”

 

“No we came straight here.”

 

“Fine. You can stay with us tonight. We have three rooms so we’ll split you up. Don’t be offended by my lack of trust.”

 

“It’s understandable.”

 

The brown haired guy snickered.

 

“Something funny?” Ash glanced at him.

 

“Well, so, I’m thinking. Which one of us has to stay with the fags? Not gonna be me.”

 

Nicky tried to lunge at him, but Micha restrained him. “Call me a fag again, bigot, and I’ll make you my bitch.”

 

Michelle turned to him. “Don’t be an asshole, Rob.”

 

“You can stay with me and Shannon. I want to keep an eye on you.” Ash glared at Rob.

 

He eyed Heather. “You and Shannon, huh?”

 

“Uh-uh. That’s Heather.” She pointed to her little blond. “That’s Shannon.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Let’s go. We had a long drive. I’m tired.”

 

Once in the car, Nicky spoke up. “I don’t like this.”

 

“Too bad. Rose was a friend. I can’t just abandon her cats.” Ash sighed heavily. “Adam I’m gonna put Drew with you guys. That leaves Michelle with Nicky and Micha. That okay with everyone.”

 

They nodded.

 

“Good. ‘Cause I don’t feel like arguing.”

 

The others followed them back to the hotel. Rob grudgingly followed Ash and Shannon into their room. He eyed the king size bed. Ash started to get mad. “Do you really have a problem just sleeping in the same bed with another guy.”

 

“Not really. Just usually Michelle sleeps in between us.”

 

“Well, that’s what I was planning on.” They all changed and climbed into bed. Ash turned on her side, resting her head on Shannon’s chest. Rob’s side was barely touching her back. Just before she fell asleep she felt him turn over and press his back down the length of hers. It was a start.

 

 

Something was ringing. Ash groaned. “Make it stop.”

 

Rob mumbled beside her, “Hello?”

 

There was a short pause. “Nah, man, but she’s here. Hang on a sec.” Her cell phone was shoved in her face.

 

“Hello.”

 

Trish’s voice was frantic. “Ash, you’ve gotta come home.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“The hunter. Ash it’s bad. We found him outside, stuck full of silver blades. He can’t shift. Oh God. Ash he’s gonna die if you don’t come soon.”

 

“Where’s Clayton?”

 

“Can’t find him. You’ve gotta come soon, or he’s gonna die!”

 

“Who, Trish? Who got attacked?”

 

“Jeff.”

 

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

Ash hung up and jumped out of bed. “Shannon, Rob, go wake the others. We’re leaving in five minutes.”

 

They obeyed without question. Ash threw their stuff in bags, put some jeans on and was already loading the car when everyone came out. “I’ll drive our car. Adam you’ll drive theirs. It’s an eight-hour trip, but that might be too long. Let’s make it in five.”

 

“What happened?” Ash wasn’t sure who asked.

 

“Jeff’s dying. Bounty hunter.”

 

“What about the council.” That from Drew.

 

Ash snarled. “Fuck the council. I will not let one of mine die.”

 

Ash was a mass of nerves by the time they got back. She didn’t wait for everyone else, just flew into the house. Zane met her at the door. “Cherry’s with him. She’s done everything she can.”

 

“So he’s still alive?”

 

“Barely. Too much silver poisoning, Ash; shifting might not be enough.”

 

“It damn well better be.” She was to his room in record time. Cherry and Trish were with him. “Out.”

 

When they were alone, she sat down on the bed next to him. His skin was flushed; sweat beaded his face. His whole body was shaking. She took his clammy hands in hers. “I’m gonna call your beast, Jeff. I’ll try to make it as painless as possible.” If he could hear her, he didn’t let on. His eyes were rolled back in his head. Ash let down the shields holding her beast at bay. It reached out, calling to his. His beast answered weakly. It wouldn’t come on its own, so she had to forcefully yank it out. Jeff only retained his animal shape for a moment before shifting back. He just didn’t have enough energy to retain it. Ash smoothed the blood away; scabs were already forming on his many wounds. The numbness was finally starting to wear off. Rage was replacing it. She stormed downstairs where everyone was gathered. “Who disobeyed me?” No one said anything. “Who let him leave by himself?”

 

Shawn spoke up. “He didn’t tell anyone he was going out. No one saw him leave.”

 

“That’s not true.” Trish spoke quietly. “I did.”

 

“Would you have broken the rules if Gabrielle made them?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you leave me no choice. No one move.” Ash left. When she came back she had a whip in her hand. Everyone spoke at once. “Silence.” Everyone obeyed. “Since I have taken over this pard, no one has taken me seriously. I’ve tried to make us a family, but I guess I have to draw the line somewhere.” She held up the whip. “This is what you all fear. Maybe if I wield it you will fear me too. Stand up, Trish.”  Trish reluctantly went to stand in front of her. “Turn around.” She did. Ash spoke directly in her ear. “I wish I didn’t have to do this, especially to you. I went four years without ever once using this thing. I took the silver balls off. You won’t have any new scars from me. At least not physically.”

 

Adam held out a hand. “Ash, if it has to be done, let me do it. You’ve never done this. You’ll hurt yourself.”

 

“No. I will not let someone else do this. If this is what I’ve been reduced to, then I have to do the dirty work.” She heard Shannon crying, and didn’t want to look at him, but felt compelled. He was terrified; clinging to Heather like she was his lifeline. He was more afraid of the whip than any of them. Ash turned away. “Do you understand why you’re being punished?”

 

“Yes,” Trish answered.

 

Ash nodded. Then began. Every time she drew the whip back, she lashed herself. By the time she finished, both of them were bloody. Ash threw the whip down, and collapsed beside Trish. “If you hate me, I’ll understand.” Trish didn’t speak, she just wrapped her arms around the other girl and they both cried. “Don’t,” Ash moaned. “Don’t comfort me.”

 

“It’s okay, Ash. I can forgive you.”

 

“But I can’t forgive myself. I hate what I’ve let this pard come to.” She pulled away from Trish. “I’ve done something I swore I’d never do. I have to live with that.”

 

“Yes, you do. But we can help you deal with it together.” Trish wrapped her arms around Ash again. “We’re a family.” Adam knelt down beside them, joining the hug. “Family means loving each other. No matter what.” He was crying too. Ash felt Shannon’s light touch on her face. “It also means forgiving each other.” The four pard members who’d been there the longest, who’d survived the most, huddled together on the floor. And cried.

 

 

 

Jeff slept for most of two days. Even then he was too weak to get out of bed. It was Shannon’s turn to bring him food. “Who are the new cats in the house?”

Shannon told him the story. Jeff didn’t say much after he’d finished. “She loves you, ya know.”

 

Jeff shrugged. “Shanny, I just don’t think that’s enough. We’ve got too many other problems. Like how furious she makes me.”

 

“And why do you think that is, huh, Jeff? You’re so even tempered all the time. And she’s the only one who makes you mad. You can’t get one strong emotion without the other. You’re just too fucking blind to see it.”

 

Jeff stared at Shannon in shock. “You love her.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“Of course I do. Did Micha help you with that one, or did you figure it out all by yourself?”

 

“Shannon!”

 

“I know that you two will find a way to be together, and I’m okay with that. But you need to stop making each other miserable until then.” Shannon looked Jeff straight in the eye. “She whipped Trish because of you. Because you did something stupid.” He stood up. “If you ask me, you deserved it a lot more than she did. But then, nobody asked me. Did they?”

 

“She hasn’t been in here since she made me shift.”

 

“Can you blame her?”

 

“No, I guess I can’t.”

 

“I think you should know, she kind of lost it a little bit.”

 

“How so?”

 

“First with trashing her room, then Trish, and now she’s saying that once you’re well enough to get out of bed, there’s gonna be a trial for Victoria. If she’s found guilty of attacking Heather, she’ll be punished.”

 

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

 

Shannon shrugged, “Not my place to say whose fault it is. But it is funny that she goes off the deep end after she talks with you, now isn’t it. And no one else makes her that mad either.”

 

 

 

 

Once again, they all gathered in the living room. After the formalities were taken care of, they started. “Victoria, Zane, we’re here to decide who attacked Heather. Both of you say you were with somebody at the time. Cherry’s vouching for Zane’s innocence and Clayton for Victoria. Zane’s pretty new, it’s plausible that Zane lost control. Victoria, you’re crazy, so you’re a definite possibility as well.”

 

Ash gestured to Heather. “Tell us what happened.”

 

“I was at a club with a friend. When we were leaving is when I got attacked. I don’t remember much. It was dark. But I do remember black paws tearing at me.”

 

“Black paws? So it’s safe to say that you were attacked by a black leopard?”

 

“I would think so.”

 

Ash turned her attention back to the accused. “Both of you shift.” Once they were in leopard form, Ash called attention to their paws. “Victoria’s are completely black. Zane has white and grey patches all the way down his legs. Zane, stand back.” All around, the pard started shifting. “Victoria, this is how we take care of loose cannons. I can’t have you maiming and killing innocent humans. Victoria…Run.”

 

Before she had time to move Clayton jumped in front of her, but the other cats had already circled around them. “Ash, you can’t do this.”

 

“Oh, but I can Clayton. I really can.”

 

He started to say something else, but the cats had closed in. Ash closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She let the smell of blood and the sound of tearing flesh call to her beast.

Only one person was still in human form and she was terrified. Heather ran from the room and out the back door. She was in the woods before she realized where she was. Her legs were shaking so bad she had to sit down. She had no idea how long she’d been there before Adam showed up. “You okay?”

 

“No. I’m so not okay. I just saw you guys eat them. Fucking eat them, Adam.”

 

“I know. That’s how we take care of pard stuff.”

 

Heather stood up, hugging her arms around herself. “That’s not the problem.”

 

“What is the problem then,” he asked quietly.

 

“I wanted to join in.”

 

Adam tucked her hair behind her ear. “Why didn’t you?”

 

“Because I’m a human, dammit. Humans don’t eat other humans.”

 

“I know how hard this is to deal with. We all seem like monsters right now. It won’t always be that way. But before you can come to terms with us, you have to accept your own beast. If you don’t, you’ll never be happy. There needs to be a happy medium between Heather the human and Heather the animal.”

 

“Can you help me?”

 

He pulled her to his chest, tucking her head under his chin. “We all will.”

 

Back inside the house most had shifted again. Shawn giggled. “Looks like we need to call the ‘I just ate an Alpha’ clean up crew.”

 

Shannon took Ash’s hand. “Looks like it’s time to chose your rightful Alpha.”

 

She looked at Jeff, and tears welled up in her eyes. “I can’t”

 

“What?” Everyone was shocked.

 

Ash squeezed Shannon’s hand. “I can’t. If I have to choose, I just can’t. I won’t hurt one person to make another happy. I’m tired of pain.” She went to Jeff, kissing him softly on the mouth. “I won’t hurt him to be happy. I’m sorry. Maybe you should find someone else to sing to.” Ash fled from the room before she started crying. This time she didn’t destroy the refurnished room. She just crawled into bed and cried.

 

Ash woke to muffled ringing. She dragged herself out of bed and fumbled through her bag. She found the phone before it went to voice mail. “Hello?”

 

“I was about to hang up.”

 

“Mark?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Took you long enough to return my call.”

 

“I’m very busy. Raising the dead is a serious business.”

 

“I’ll bet.”

 

“Are you okay? You sound funny.”

 

“And you sound like a mother hen.” Deep laughter filled her ears, and made her smile.

 

“I think I need to come see you.”

 

“You’re always welcome. You know that. But what’s wrong?”

 

“I just need some advice.”

 

“Well, you can come by tomorrow. Noon okay?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll see you then.”

 

“Ash, just so I know, what kind of advice do you need?”

 

“Personal, pard. It feels like I traded one set of problems for another.”

 

“That’s usually the way it goes. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Ash went to turn her cell phone off and noticed red flakes on the face. Running her fingers through her hair, she came away with more. Great. She’d forgotten about the blood. She looked back at her bed and groaned. The sheets were a mess. It took several washings to get all the blood out. But finally the water ran clear. Ash changed the bed sheets and threw the ruined ones away. It was still early. She couldn’t hear anyone moving around in the house. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, so she went searching for someone to entertain her. Ash stepped into the communal bedroom, scanning the bodies. She finally found the red head she was looking for. She lifted up the arm thrown across Amy’s face, and tapped her forehead. “Rise and shine.”

 

Amy tried to roll over, but Ash stopped her. Amy’s eyes finally opened. “I feel like going to breakfast. I need someone to go with me. It’s your lucky day.”

 

“You hate me, don’t you?”

 

Ash gave her most charming smile. “On the contrary. I’m trying very hard to like you. Get dressed.” Amy didn’t want to see Ash angry again, so she quickly dressed and they left.

IHOP was almost empty. They were past the drunken rush, but before the breakfast one. Both girls ordered coffee.

 

 “So,” Amy said, after her first sip of her sugared and creamed concoction. “Any particular reason for this excursion?”

 

“I haven’t gotten around to asking why you want to be a part of my pard.”

 

Amy looked down absently stirring her coffee with a spoon. “I heard you guys were cool. I had to leave my pard. Difference of opinion.”

 

“Cut the shit, Amy. Everyone knows we’ve had some problems lately. Tell me what really happened.”

 

“Fine. The truth is I slept with the Alpha Male of my old pard. His mate didn’t like that much.”

 

Ash laughed. “Are you always attracted to the wrong men, or do you just have really bad luck?”

 

“I didn’t know about you and Jeff. I really didn’t. And I don’t wanna get him in trouble, but he did start it.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

 

“What?”

 

Ash sighed and refilled her cup from the pitcher. “He was trying to get back at me. He set it up so I would find you two together. But he didn’t take my temper into consideration. He really didn’t know I’d fling you across the room. Hell, I didn’t know I’d do something like that.”

 

“I promise I won’t try anything with him again.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So are we cool now?”

 

Ash shrugged. “ Sure. Tell you what. You don’t hold a grudge cause I threw you into a wall. And I won’t hold a grudge cause you tried to molest my…”

 

“Your what?”

 

“Well, that remains to be seen.”

 

Amy refreshed her cup. “Still having problems in that area?”

 

Ash shrugged again. “I’m not sure that will ever really be resolved. Too many mixed emotions.”

 

“Jeff or Shannon?”

 

“Both. Among others.”

 

Amy arched a questioning eyebrow at the other girl. But Ash shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s get outta here.”

 

 

Ash was in the study, going over some accounts when the door opened. Micha bounded in followed by Nicky. “Yes, dears?”

 

Nicky leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking slightly unhappy. Micha on the other hand, rolled Ash’s chair back and hopped onto the desk, swinging his legs like an excited child. “We’ve been wronged.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“We’ve been wronged.”

 

“By whom?”

 

“Rob.”

 

Ash leaned back and folded her hands across her stomach. “Explain.”

 

“Well, you were there. He called us fags. We deserve justice.”

 

“It didn’t seem to bother you at the time, Micha. And Nicky appears to have gotten over it.”

 

“Delayed emotional trauma. We want service.”

 

Ash groaned, letting her head fall back. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

 

“Yep.”

 

She looked at Nicky, “Are you really gonna let him do this?”

 

Nicky shrugged. “He’s determined.”

 

“You can’t talk him out of it?”

 

“Haven’t tried.”

 

“Fine.” She sat up. “You can’t make him do anything he’s not completely comfortable with. I don’t want him scarred for life. And the service will only be for 24 hours. The crime is too slight.”

 

Micha looked about to protest, but Nicky spoke first. “Thank you, Ashley.”

 

“I’ll tell him this afternoon. Not a word until then.” Ash had almost gotten back to work when Adam poked his head in the room.

 

“You busy?”

 

“Apparently not. What’cha need?”

 

“I just wanted to talk to you a sec.”

 

“Well, come on in.” She began putting the papers and ledgers away. “I’ve got about 10 minutes before I need to leave.”

 

“Where ya going?”

 

“To see Mark.”

 

“Need me to come?”

 

“I was thinking about it. You do know the way shit works around there.” Adam nodded. He remained silent for a moment, unconsciously shifting from one foot to the other. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing. I mean, nothing important.”

 

“You didn’t come in here for nothing, Adam. What’s up?”

 

“I was just kind of wondering if the continuing of Heather’s education had fallen to me?”

 

“Is that a problem? I’ve been kind of preoccupied lately. And you’re fully capable.”

 

“In most areas.” He said, quietly.

 

“Adam?”

 

“Eventually, she’s gonna want to have sex.”

 

“And she’s a pretty girl. You’re a hot guy. She seems your type.”

 

“That’s so not the problem.”

 

“Then what is?”

 

“Someone needs to teach her control. And I don’t think I can.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You know why, Ash.”

 

She put her head in her hands. “Why does it always come back to her? She’s dead but she’s still fucking haunting us.”

 

“’Cause we’re all fucked up. It takes time. And some things are harder to get over than others.”

 

“Adam, you might hate me for this, but I’m officially putting you in charge of her. If you don’t think you can handle it by yourself maybe you can get someone to help.”

 

“Like who?” His voice held some contempt.

 

“We’ll figure something out, hun.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

“Don’t get bitchy. You know I’m not trying to be mean. I just wanna try to erase all the scars. At least the mental ones.”

 

“That’s a tall order, Ash. Don’t set your sights too high.”

 

“I want you to be happy, Adam.”

 

“Why don’t you let me worry about my own happiness?” He got up to leave. “And find someone else to drag off to hell with you. I’m not in the mood to dance with the devil today.”

 

Ash stared at the door he’d just closed, wondering if she’d done the right thing, or just fucked shit up again. Drew was the first person Ash spotted when she left the study. “Feel like going for a ride?”

 

He gave her a slow up and down once over. “With you? Sure.”

 

Ash smirked, giving him a head to toe look of her own. “Sorry, babe. I think you’re more than I can handle.”

 

“I’d be gentle.”

 

“Nah. I know my limitations. And I’m sure you exceed them. But meant literally go for a ride. In a car.”

 

“It’ll be kinda cramped, but I always rise to the occasion.”

 

“I’m sure you do. But I need a body guard today.”

 

“Well come on then, I’m always glad to guard a beautiful body.”

 

“Can I trust you?”

 

Drew’s face turned serious. “Of course. You’re my Alpha. I’ll protect you with my life. My strength is yours.”

 

“Then lets go, sugar. The Dark Lord awaits.” Ash had to laugh at his stricken expression.

 

The compound looked normal. No one would think the inhabitants inside sacrificed small animals to raise the dead. The guard at the gate recognized Ash and let her through without a problem. The front door opened and a small woman ushered them inside. She didn’t speak as she led them to an office similar to the one Ash had been working in earlier. She left without a word. “Great hospitality.” Drew commented.

 

Ash just shrugged. “I’m used to it. I practically grew up here. I couldn’t tell you how many summers I spent in this house. This is where I first met Adam.”

 

“He used to live here?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

A large man entered. His very presence seemed to fill the room. At almost seven feet tall, with long black hair and several visible tattoos, he was an imposing figure. “You brought company.”

 

“I don’t let anyone leave the house alone. Why should I be any different?”

 

“Why didn’t you bring Adam?”

 

Ash looked sheepish. “He’s mad at me.”

 

“You didn’t mention that on the phone.”

 

“He wasn’t mad at me then.”

 

Mark sensed that Ash wasn’t comfortable talking openly with Drew in the room. He turned to the tall blond man. “Go down this hall, take the third door on the left. You’ll find plenty to entertain you while we talk.”

 

Drew looked to Ash. “Do as he says. But remember, you’re representing me here. Don’t fuck up.”

 

After he was gone, Mark turned to her. “Tell me what’s going on?” Ash told him everything. “It sounds like the first thing you need to do is pick an Alpha.”

 

“Easier said than done.”

 

“Not really. You don’t need to appear weak to the other lycanthrope community. Especially now. You’re still a new Alpha. Your power hasn’t been established yet. And with a hunter on the loose, that’s not a good thing.”

 

“You’re right. But I just don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

 

“I know. You’ve always been like that. But you’re Alpha now. You’ve got to worry about what’s best for your pard. And that might not always be what’s best for one single person. Shannon wouldn’t make a good Alpha. He’s not strong enough. He could never hold the pard.”

 

“But if I cast him away from me, I might destroy all his self confidence I spent so long building up.”

 

“So are you willing to sacrifice the pard's strength for one person?”

 

“No. But I’m also not willing to wound one person who already has too many mental scars.”

 

Mark touched her shoulder. “And what about you? What scars are you still hiding?”

 

“Mine aren’t important. I can deal with them.”

 

“Are you sure? You didn’t need me to tell you to pick an Alpha. Or that you did the right thing with Adam. I think you came all the way here because you’re confused about who you want. You were so sure that it was Jeff. But now Shannon’s in you life in a big way. And old feelings for Trish are coming to the surface again. I can’t advise you on your love life, Ashley. That’s just something you need to figure out on your own.”

 

Ash nodded. “I think I just wanted to hear someone else tell me what I’ve been telling myself.”

 

“Sometimes that’s what it takes.”

 

Ash rose from her seat. “I better get going.”

 

“If you need anything let me know.”

 

“Will do. But I think I can get a handle on things now.”

 

“Good.”

 

Ash kissed Mark’s cheek and left.

 

 

 

Ash poked her head in the open doorway of Trish’s room. “Hey.”

 

Trish paused putting clothes away. “Hey.”

 

“You seen Jeff?”

 

“Um, he was headed toward the pool last I saw.”

 

“Cool.” Ash started to leave.

 

“Wait.” Trish walked to the door, gesturing Ash inside. With the door closed, Trish sat on the bed. “Any idea why Adam would ask me to have sex with Heather?”

 

“He did what?”

 

“Jealous? Of me? I though you saved all that for Jeff.”

 

“Trish, I…”

 

“I’m kidding, Ash. It was only a joke. But, seriously. Adam knows I haven’t been with a girl since you. Why would he ask me that?”

 

“Because he’s mad at me.”

 

“What’d you do now?”

 

Ash shook her head. “It’ll be fine.” She let her hair fall in her face. “Would you?”

 

“Would I what, Ashley?”

 

“You know what.”

 

Trish flopped back on her bed. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve only been with guys since us. I’m not sure if being with another girl would ruin what we had.”

 

Ash laid beside Trish, propping herself on her elbow. “Nothing could ruin what we had. You are not only the only girl I’ve slept with, but the only one I want. I can’t imagine being with another girl. But that’s me, Trish. I would never expect you to think like that. You need to do what’ll make you happy. Don’t worry about me.”

 

“I can’t help but worry about you, Ash.” Trish rolled to her side so they were facing each other. “But maybe it is time to decide what to do about us.”

 

Ash nodded, closing her eyes. “I think you should find someone who can make you happy. And not just for a night. Someone like…”

 

Trish finished for her. “You?”

 

Tears leaked out of Ash’s still closed eyes. “No. Not me. I’m gonna have to pick an Alpha soon. Then we’ll be right back where we started.” Ash felt Trish’s warm tongue and lips gently sip the tears from her skin.

 

“You don’t have an Alpha now.”

 

Ash opened her eyes. “Please don’t. If we do this now, I won’t be able to give you up. It was hard enough the first time. I can’t do it again.”

 

“What if you didn’t have to?”

 

Both girls bolted upright at the new voice in the doorway. “JEFF!”

 

He shut the door behind him, and squatted in front of Ash. “I’ve been a real bastard lately. I should’ve been more understanding of everything going on with you right now. It’s just, seeing you with Shannon threw me. It hurt, ya know. So I know what you guys are feeling is the same as with me and Shanny.” He tentatively laced his fingers with Ash’s. “If you decide you want me as your Alpha I won’t make you give up anything you have with Trish. In return for the same courtesy.”

 

Ash gasped. “Jeff, have you and Shannon been….”

 

“Yeah. Are you upset?”

 

“No. Of course not. It just surprised me.”

 

Jeff nodded, getting to his feet. “I’ll give you time to think about it.”

 

Trish was the first to speak after he left. “Wow.”

 

“Yeah.” Ash replied.

 

“He wants to keep you and Shannon. You want him and me. Looks like he just came up with the perfect solution.”

 

“It works in theory. But then again, so did communism.”

 

Trish rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you think about it.”? She slipped her hand behind Ash’s neck, pulling her closer. “Something to help you decide.” The kiss was soft, softer than Ash had remembered. Trish brushed her mouth slowly back and forth, causing delicious friction. Ash nibbled lightly at her bottom lip, finally sucking it into her mouth when Trish gasped.

 

“I’m supposed to be persuading you, Ash.”

 

“Oops.” She laid back, gazing at Trish. “Go for it.”

 

“I will. If you take Jeff up on his offer.” She patted Ash’s thigh. “Now get up. You’re wrinkling my clothes.”

 

Ash came up to her elbows. “No fair resorting to blackmail.”

 

“Not blackmail. Persuasion.”

 

“Fine.” Ash sighed as she got up. “I’ve got stuff I need to do anyway.” She glanced over at the other girl before leaving. Trish face held an anxious expression. “Whatever I decide, just know that I love you.” With that, she left.

 

 

Ash found several people in the living room, watching a movie. Nicky sat on the couch with Micha’s head in his lap. Micha, instead of watching the movie, was staring at Rob. Rob looked extremely uncomfortable. Everyone else seemed oblivious. “Rob, can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

He jumped up, “Sure thing.”

 

She led him into the kitchen. “Want a sandwich?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Ash began pulling stuff out of the refrigerator. “Have Nicky or Micha said anything to you today?”

 

“Nah. But Micha keeps looking at me. Like he knows some kind of secret or something.”

 

Ash nodded and started putting some ham sandwiches together. “In our pard we have a way of dealing with minor problems. Not everything that comes up is a trial issue. So we use service. If someone feels like they’ve had something unfair done to them, they come to me. I usually give the guilty person some kind of service to do for the other person. Nicky and Micha came to me this morning requesting service from you.”

 

“And you said?”

 

“I agreed.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“You offended them, Rob. Your service will only be for 24 hours. You won’t be made to do anything to hurt yourself. Or make you uncomfortable.”

 

“What do I have to do?”

 

Ash shrugged and handed him a plate. “That’s for them to decide.”

 

“So, I’ll be at their mercy for a day?”

“Yeah. But don’t worry. They’re not sadistic.”

 

“This is so not cool.”

 

“It works both ways. If they do anything you think was unfair, let me know.”

 

“Yeah. Okay if I survive that long.”

 

Ash smirked. “It won’t be that bad.”

 

“Says you.” He grumbled as he walked out without his food. Ash sat down, shaking her head. A few minutes later, Heather drifted in, searching the fridge.

 

“Have a ham sandwich. Rob suddenly lost his appetite.”

 

Heather eyes the plate suspiciously. “What’s wrong with it?”

 

“Nothing. He just got some bad news. The sandwich is fine. Made it myself.”

 

Heather sat down across from Ash. “So, what’s going on?”

 

“Not a whole lot. Just working shit out. You?”

 

Heather shrugged. “Kind of wondering why Adam’s avoiding me.”

 

“That’s my fault. Has he told you about how he was changed?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He wanted me to give you to someone else until you learn full control.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He doesn’t think he can handle teaching you to control your beast during sex. He’s strong enough to handle your beast and his. He’s just got a mental block against it.”

 

“You mean he wants to…”

 

“Fuck you? Yeah. But he’s scared. He’s pissed at me, but more so at himself. He hates feeling weak about anything. Gabrielle used to exploit that in him. His absolute terror for her.”

 

“Telling secrets, now Ash?” Adam lounged against the doorjamb.

 

“What secrets Adam? She didn’t look surprised to hear any of this.”

 

“That’s not the point. It’s not your business to tell.”

 

“Wrong. Anything that happens in this pard is my business. And you might think I’m being a bitch, and that’s fine. But do not tell me what business is mine. So keep your bitchy temper under control. And don’t take this shit out on Heather or anyone else.”

 

“Yes ma’am. Anything else I can do while I’m at it.”

 

“Yeah. Grow up, Adam. Keep the temper tantrums to a minimum.”

 

Adam glared daggers at Ash before stalking out. Heather fidgeted uncomfortably. “Don’t be afraid of him. Give him a few hours to cool off before you try to talk to him.”

 

“You were kind of mean.”

 

“I know. But he can’t throw a tantrum every time I do something he doesn’t like. I’m done tiptoeing around everyone’s fragile egos. I can’t please everyone all the time. And it’s just too damn exhausting trying to. I hate that Adam’s mad at me, but I have to realize that’s a side affect of being Alpha. I’m gonna piss people off occasionally, but they’ll get over it.”

 

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.”

 

“Not by a long shot. But I’m working on it.” Ash spotted Shannon walking toward them. “And here comes one more problem.”

 

When he got close enough, he kissed Ash’s cheek. “Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

The look he gave her was full of unspoken promises. Heather suddenly felt like an intruder in a private situation. She mumbled an excuse and left them alone. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Shannon used his nose to nuzzle behind her ear. “Have you had enough ‘alone time’ yet?”

 

“I dunno, sweetie.” He pouted, looking adorable and sexy at the same time. “You’re such a distraction.”

 

“Do you mean that in a good way?”

 

“Sometimes. But from what I hear, you’ve been distracting someone else.”

 

“He told you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Shannon pulled away to sit beside her. “You don’t seem too upset.”

 

“I’m not. Did you want me to be?"

 

“No. But I didn’t think you’d take it this well.”

 

“Do you want me to be jealous? Mad I don’t have you all to myself any more? Did I leave you feeling neglected?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ash went to stand between his knees. “Yes, what?”

 

“All the above.”

 

“Is that right?” She ran her nails down his bare chest, leaving red trails in their wake.

 

Shannon shivered. “You were holding back from me. You let me pleasure you in so many different ways. But you always found some reason not to have sex.”

 

“Define sex, Shannon. ‘Cause I thought we’d had sex.”

 

“Foreplay, Ash. Not sex. I don’t know what it’s like to be buried inside you.”

 

“I’m not a tease. I never left you unsatisfied.”

 

“Not physically, no. But as I said, you were holding back.”

 

“Did Jeff hold back from you?”

 

Tears glistened in his eyes as he nodded. “Physically it was exactly like it used to be. But he wasn’t totally with me.”

 

“Oh, Shanny, I’m so sorry.”

 

“I know I’m gonna lose you both soon. I was just hoping to actually have you before you’re gone.”

 

“What if we could prevent that?”

 

He looked puzzled, so she took his hand, leading him upstairs. Ash could hear music from Jeff’s room. Good. He was in there. She entered without knocking. He didn’t appear too surprised to see them. “I haven’t made any decisions yet. But I’m thinking we need a trial run.”

 

Jeff picked up the stereo remote up from beside him on the bed and turned the music down. He set the remote on the nightstand and scooted over, but said nothing. “Shannon’s feeling neglected even with the attention he’s been getting lately. I think I could use some help showing him how much he’s needed.”

 

“Ash, your first time together shouldn’t be with me here. I’ll go.” Shannon tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn’t release his hand.

 

“Who said anything about Jeff and I being together. This is about you, Shannon. About you knowing how much both of us need you. It’s about not holding back anymore.” Ash let him go long enough to pull her t-shirt over her head. Shannon’s gaze went to her breasts still encased in her bra. She undid the back clasp, letting the straps fall, but holding the material in place. “Do you still wanna go?”

 

Shannon shook his head, and she let the material drop. She closed the distance between them, pressing their flesh together. Ash stood up on tiptoe to nibble at his lips. Her hands went to his jeans, unzipping them, and then diving inside. Shannon groaned and buried his fingers in her hair. She tipped her head to the side, giving him the most access to her mouth. His attention shifted lower moving to her breasts. Ash looked at Jeff over Shannon’s head. He didn’t appear to have moved, but his breathing had sped up. The muscles in his forearms bulged as if in a death grip where they were locked behind his head. Ash tapped Shannon’s shoulder and pointed to Jeff. “Maybe we should move to the bed before he busts a blood vessel.”

 

“Or something else.” Shannon stepped out of his jeans. Clad only in boxers, he crawled onto the bed. Jeff still didn’t move. Shannon straddled him, sitting on his stomach. He leaned forward, running his hands under Jeff’s white tank top. When their faces were only inches apart, Shannon turned his head to stare at Ash. “You’ve never been with two guys before, have you?” When she didn’t respond, he took her silence to mean ‘no’. “Will you be disgusted when you see us together?” She shook her head. “Then come closer.”

 

She climbed onto the bed next to them, her gaze never leaving Shannon’s face. He lowered his mouth to Jeff’s. Ash couldn’t have looked away for anything. Shannon kissed him much the same way he’d kissed her. Softly at first, then with increasing passion; she saw their tongues come into play, darting in and out of each other’s mouth. Shannon’s hair fell over his face and she brushed it back. At her touch he pulled back from Jeff, who was still trying to appear unaffected. Ash stared at him, puzzled.

 

Shannon grinned. “It’s a game we used to play. See how much it takes to make him loose his cool. Wanna help me?”

 

“But Shannon…”

 

“Please.”

 

She nodded and gave him a feral grin. “What constitutes losing his cool?”

 

“Moving, speaking, groaning. That type of thing.”

 

Ash ran her fingers down Shannon’s chest, looping her finger in the waistband of his boxers. “Well, he seemed to have trouble breathing when he saw us together.”

 

“Didn’t he though?” Shannon moved off Jeff and Ash guided him to the bed between them. She straddled him the way he’d done Jeff. Starting at his neck, she licked, kissed, and nibbled her way down his body. When she got to his lower abdomen he helped her get rid of the underwear. She looked up his body as she took him into her mouth. Ash watched his eyes glaze as she bobbed up and down. She slid her gaze to the side. Jeff’s own eyes were glazed as well. She increased the suction and took Shannon all the way down her throat. He arched off the bed; nearly breaking the seal her mouth had created. But she held on. Ash backed off, not wanting it to be over yet. She released his dick to lick precum from the head. He tugged her up. “You’ve never done that before.”

 

“No holding back, remember?” Jeff’s chest was rising and falling rapidly. “Looks like we’ve almost got him.”

 

“Kiss him.”

 

Ash shifted, leaning over Jeff. As soon as he tasted Shannon on her lips, he groaned. His hands locked on her head and he sucked her tongue into his mouth. He milked Shannon’s essence from her until she could no longer taste him. She felt Shannon lift her hips, and then he plunged into her. Jeff caught her moan in his mouth, never releasing her. Shannon wiggled his hips, not having enough leverage to thrust. Ash started coming. When Jeff let her up for air, she collapsed against Shannon’s chest. He ran his hands along her spine.

 

“Jeff’s over dressed.”

 

Ash raised her head. “Want to help him with that?”

 

He grinned, so she sat up, and they both gasped at the movement. She reluctantly pulled herself off of him. Jeff rose to his knees when Shannon did. Shannon pulled Jeff’s shirt off, then went for the jeans. He pushed Jeff down and pulled his pants and boxers off. Shannon crawled up his body, stopping over Jeff’s groin. They shared an intense look before Shannon lowered his head. Jeff closed his eyes and threw his head back. Ash must have made a sound, because Jeff’s eyes snapped open.

 

“Come here,” he growled. She lay beside them. Jeff reached between her legs with his left hand, rubbing her clit in slow circles. “Open your eyes.” She hadn’t realized she’d closed them. Using his right hand he swept Shannon’s hair to the side. “Watch him.” She stared at Shannon work Jeff. Couldn’t take her eyes off his bobbing mouth. Shannon looked up at her and Jeff slipped fingers into her. He matched his rhythm with Shannon’s but soon it became choppy. Ash shifted her gaze to Jeff’s face. His bottom lip was clenched between his teeth, almost hard enough to draw blood. His other hand was fisted in the bed sheets. His hips gave involuntary jerks. A muffled cry escaped from between his clenched teeth and his whole body stiffened. Ash watched Shannon’s throat work as he swallowed Jeff’s orgasm. Jeff’s breath left him in a rush. He was still semi hard when Shannon released him. They all lay there panting a moment, then Shannon moved on top of Ash. She eagerly spread her legs to accommodate him. His hips thrust forward and he was once again deep inside her. Ash raked her nails his back, hard enough to draw blood, as he rode her. He tried to go slow, but soon he was pounding into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezing her internal muscles as she did. Shannon stiffened, thrusting savagely as he came. Ash cried out as she too went over the edge.

 

When they could move again, Shannon slid to the side and they fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

Less than an hour later, they woke to someone pounding on the door. “Jeff, are you in there?” Trish’s voice filtered through.

 

“Yeah.” He tried to sit up, but Shannon had wiggled down to lay his head on Jeff’s stomach. Ash was using his shoulder as a pillow.

 

“I can’t find Ash. We’ve got trouble.”

 

“Shit.” Ash popped up. “Come in.”

 

Trish opened the door and froze at the three of them. Her face hardened. “Nicky and Rob are fighting.”

 

They all moved at once, scrambling into their clothes. “Jeff, go see if you can diffuse the situation. I’ll be down in a minute.”

 

Jeff left, taking Shannon with him. Ash reached for Trish, but she pulled away. “Trish?”

 

“Why not me?”

 

“We didn’t plan this. Shannon needed it.”

 

“And what about me? You’re so worried about Jeff’s feelings, and Shannon’s feelings. But what about me? I was before both of them. We were still human when I had you. But I guess history doesn’t mean anything to you anymore.”

 

“Trish, I haven’t forgotten about you. Shannon’s just more fragile than you.”

 

“Are you sure? Maybe I’m just better at hiding it than he is.” Trish tried to make her face blank, but she couldn’t erase the hurt in her eyes. “Just forget it. I don’t want any part of you anymore.”

 

Yelling could be heard from downstairs.

 

“We don’t have time for this.”

 

“Big surprise, Ash. I keep getting put off for later. I’m tired of it. Tired of waiting around for you. I’ll find better ways of occupying my time.” Trish spun on her heel and left. Ash heard a door slam.

 

She quickly dashed to the living room. Nicky was on Rob’s back, his hands around Rob’s neck. Rob was still standing, but for how much longer, couldn’t be said. “What’s going on?”

 

Micha answered. “Nicky said he’d let Rob out of his service if he could beat him. Nicky’s got him, but Rob refuses to give up. Nicky was going easy on him, but then Rob started talking trash. Nicky got pissed.”

 

“Did you know Nicky was going to fight him?”

 

Micha looked down, guilty.

 

“Was that his stipulation on this whole thing? I knew he wouldn’t like it. This was your idea.”

 

“You know how he is. If Rob could beat him the insult would be over. Nicky would respect him. But if he couldn’t, then I get my way. I’m just trying to help Nicky get through…”

 

“Shut-up Micha.” Nicky didn’t sound strained as he held onto Rob’s thrashing form. “You talk too much.”

 

“Nicky, let him go.”

 

“Is that an order, Alpha?”

 

If she said yes, he would obey without question and Rob would be the winner. She knew what Micha was trying to do. If he handled it right, it might work. “No, it’s a request.”

 

“Then, I’m sorry, I must refuse. He said some nasty things to Micha and I. I can’t let the insult stand between us. Besides, he’s already getting tired.”

 

Ash moved in front of Rob. “He’s got you. With the pressure he’s putting on you’ll pass out within a few minutes. Would you rather lose that way or bow out gracefully?”

 

Rob’s eyes rolled around for a minute, not quite sure where to look. His muscles were quivering. His knee’s finally collapsed.

 

“Time’s running out. Either tell me you give, or you’re gonna pass out.”

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, and finally nodded his head. Nicky released him immediately.

 

“What’s the deal Nicky? Last I checked you had better control over your temper.”

 

Nicky shrugged. “He was being very crude. But he lost, so the service stands. Starting now.”

 

Rob was still on his knees, head bent. “What do I have to do?”

 

“For starters, apologize to Micha.”

 

Rob took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Nicky, I’d like to have a word with you.”

 

Micha started to follow Ash out too. “No. Just Nicky.”

 

Micha pouted, but stayed where he was. Nicky followed Ash to her room. “How okay are you with this?”

 

“With what?”

 

“I’m not stupid, Nicky. I can tell Micha’s attracted to Rob. He’s going to try to get Rob to have sex with you guys, isn’t he?”

 

“No.”

 

“No? Then what’s he got up his sleeve?”

 

“I’m not sure exactly.”

 

“Then how do you know you’ll be okay with it?”

 

“I don’t.”

 

Ash sighed at his evasive answers. “I’m only trying to look out for you guys.”

 

“I know. But I really don’t know what Micha has planned, past manual labor. Making him do our chores. I do know that whatever it is, he won’t test my limits too far.”

 

“But you do think he’s gonna push it?”

 

Nicky nodded.

 

“That’s why the fight?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You were giving both of you an out. But you lost your temper.”

 

“No. If I’d lost my temper, Rob would be dead. I was merely making a point.”

 

“Okay. Fine. Thank you. You can go now.”

 

“Have I displeased you?”

 

“No. I just worry about my cats. You be careful, okay?”

 

Nicky gave her a soft smile. “Will do Mum.”

 

Jeff tentatively knocked on the open door. “Am I interrupting?”

 

“I was just leaving.” Nicky shut the door on his way out.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Me? I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be anything else?” Ash wrapped her arms around herself.

 

“How’s Trish?”

 

“Oh, now that’s a different story. She’s pissed. Hurt. Doesn’t want anything to do with me. You know. The usual.”

 

“How is that usual?”

 

“There’s always someone who’s mad at me. I guess it’s her turn now.”

 

Jeff moved close enough to touch her, but didn’t. “You’ll work it out.”

 

“But what if it’s too late? I’ve been putting her off for too long. She didn’t deserve it. I don’t know why I’ve made everything else so damn more important than her.”

 

“Because you knew she’d wait for you to work things out. And she has. But everyone runs out of patience sometime.”

 

“So what do I do now?”

 

“Figure out how to make it up to her.”

 

“Sex isn’t the cure all be all, Jeff.”

 

“I didn’t say anything about sex, Ash. Maybe you should just talk to her. Let her vent. I know that’ll be hard for you, but that might be what she needs.”

 

“But she was so mad.”

 

“Then give her time to cool off. Get some sleep.”

 

Ash yawned, suddenly aware of how tired she was. “Will you stay with me tonight?” She laid her head against his chest.

 

“I want to, you know I do. But I can’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t think I can stay in the same bed with you and keep my hands to myself.”

 

“Oh.” Ash sniffled a little bit.

 

“Don’t cry. I’m not rejecting you. I just don’t think you need someone in here with you who can’t think about anything but getting you naked.”

 

“I just wanna be held right now.”

 

“Any requests?”

 

“Shannon?”

 

Jeff nodded. “Get in bed. I’ll go find him.” Ash was almost asleep when she felt the bed dip beside her. She curled against Shannon’s familiar warmth and slept.

 

 

Back in the living room, Rob had gotten to his feet. His eyes darted around the room, refusing to look at Micha. Everyone else had drifted away. Nicky came back. “We should get some sleep.” He gestured Rob forward. “After you.”

 

Rob automatically went toward the communal bedroom. “Uh-uh.” Micha pointed to a door down the hall. “You need to be close. In case we need something during the night.”

 

Rob was about to argue, but shut his mouth, and followed them into the dim room. There was enough moonlight for their cat eyes to see clearly. And there was only one bed. “Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?”

 

Micha grinned. “Where ever you want.”

 

Rob spotted a recliner in the corner, by a bookcase. “I’ll sleep there.”

 

“Suit yourself.”

 

“Thanks. I will.” Rob sat down, leaning over to take his shoes off. That was as far as he’d be going tonight, though. He tugged at his jeans, wishing he’d worn something looser. Oh well. He’d slept in jeans before it wouldn’t kill him to do it again. After pulling the rubber band from his hair, he leaned back and propped his head on his arms. The sounds of fabric rustling was all around him, as the other two men undressed. Rob kept his eyes carefully squeezed shut. He heard the bed move as they got in. They quietly said goodnight to one another. Micha called, “Goodnight, Rob.”

 

“Whatever, man.” Was Rob’s reply. He lay there for a while, trying to sleep, but it evaded him. He heard movement from the bed, then Micha whispered, “I can’t sleep.”

 

Nicky answered softly. “It’s because you’re so wound up. Relax and you’ll fall asleep.”

 

“No Nicky,” His voice came out breathless with need.

 

“What about our roommate?”

 

“He’s asleep. If he wasn’t, don’t you think the homophobe would’ve said something by now.”

 

Rob concentrated on keeping his breathing deep and even. If they knew he was awake, they might continue just to freak him out.

 

“Maybe,” was Nicky’s reply. “Unless he’s one of those guys who’s denying it to himself.”

 

“I don’t know. But how worried about him are you really?”

 

Nicky’s breath caught in his throat audibly. Rob fought the urge to open his eyes.

 

“Micha now is not the time.”

 

“That’s not what your body thinks. I’ve got something in my hand that thinks now is exactly the time.”

 

Nicky quietly moaned Micha’s name. The noise was cut off, then the wet sound of kissing filled Rob’s ears. This isn’t happening, he thought. This cannot be happening. But it was. Rob was appalled to realize his own body was reacting. There was some shifting around, and Nicky moaned. The sound was muffled like he was trying not to be heard. Rob opened his eyes a bit. Nicky’s pale naked body almost glowed in the moonlight. Where Micha’s tanned hands rested on his stomach was a startling contrast. Nicky’s chest heaved as Micha’s curly head moved on his groin. Slurping noises emitted from that area. Rob’s fitted jeans felt way too tight.

 

“Micha,” Nicky ran a hand over Micha’s head. “Baby, I think he’s awake.” Micha only made a noise in his throat and continued. Nicky turned his head to the side, looking Rob straight in the eye. “Do you like to watch?”

 

Rob snapped his eyes shut, and didn’t answer. Micha spoke next. “Judging by the bulge in his jeans I think he’d like to do more than watch.”

 

“That’s it.” Rob bolted to his feet. “I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m outta here.”

 

He practically ran down the hall to Ash’s door, and knocked so hard he almost broke he knob.

 

It was a few minutes before Ash answered. “What?”

 

“I can’t do it!”

 

She blinked at him sleepily. “Do what Rob?”

 

“Stay there. Listen to them do things to each other. It’s not right, man.”

 

Ash ran a hand down her face and stepped aside to let him in. “Why were you in their room?”

 

“Dude, they made me. They said I needed to be there in case they needed anything. Then they started messing around and shit. I can’t do it. Please don’t make me go back in there.”

 

“Rob, it’s okay. I’m not gonna make you do anything.” Behind them Shannon had sat up. Ash spoke to him without turning from Rob. “Go get Micha and Nicky. I would like to speak to them. Pronto.”

 

“What if they’re busy?”

 

“Too damn bad. Tell them to get their butts in here now.”

 

Rob was still shaking, so Ash made him sit on the bed. “Calm down. It’s not like you were in physical danger.”

 

“That I can handle. This other stuff though, I just don’t know how to deal with.”

 

“You’ll be fine. Lay down if you want to.”

 

Shannon came back, followed by Nicky and Micha. Both stared at the floor looking guilty. “You two disappoint me. You have abused the service I granted you. That makes me look bad. You have potentially damaged another pard member. I would never have expected this out of either of you. The insult is over. Rob owes you nothing. There will be no more fighting or insults or whatever you guys did a few minutes ago. I trusted you to handle the situation differently. But I was wrong. And Nicky, if you really wanna display you talents, I can have a more public show arranged. Now go. I don’t even want to look at you.”

 

They both left without a word. Shannon didn’t say anything either. He just crawled back into bed. Ash went to Rob and smoothed the hair back from his face. “Do you want to go to your own room?”

 

He only gave her a panicked look.

 

“It’s okay. You can stay here. But Shannon stays too.”

 

He nodded and closed his eyes again. Ash lightly crawled over him. Sleep pulled at her brain, and she didn’t resist.

 

 

Shannon woke to movement. He lay there a moment, wondering what was wrong. The he felt it again. Ash twitched beside him. As he lay there, her breathing sped up until she was panting. He looked down into her face. She was covered in sweat, her features contorted into a mask of pain. The muscles in her arms twitched like she would lash out. Rob blinked at Shannon from the other side of her. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I think she’s having a nightmare.” Shannon whispered.

 

“Should we wake her?”

 

Just then, Ash cried out in her sleep. “No! They’re mine now!”

 

Shannon lightly caressed her face. “Shh. Ash it’s just a dream. Wake up.”

 

She whimpered softly. “They need me.”

 

Rob shook her shoulder, “Come on, Ash. Wake up”

 

She suddenly tensed all over and her eyes snapped open. Shannon scrambled back. “Your eyes!”

 

Ash blinked a few times, then visibly relaxed. She looked at both of them confused. “Shannon?”

 

“Your eyes. They looked. They were…” He couldn’t finish.

 

Rob looked at her. “Your eyes are green. What’s the big deal? Aren’t they always green?”

 

But Shannon wouldn’t be calmed. “They weren’t.”

 

Ash reached for him. “What happened?”

 

He pulled away and got out of bed. “Nothing. It’s probably my imagination.”

 

“Well come back to bed.”

 

“I’m not tired. I’ll go make some breakfast.” He left before she could say anything else.

 

“That was strange,” Rob commented.

 

“Very. But why’d you guys wake me up?”

 

“You don’t remember having a nightmare?”

 

Ash thought for a moment. “I think I was dreaming, but I don’t remember what it was.”

 

“You were shaking and yelling and stuff. It woke us up.”

 

Ash stretched, feeling tenseness in her muscles. As if she’d been in a fight. “I feel off somehow. I don’t really know how to explain it. Maybe I did have a nightmare.” She got up and headed for the shower. “You can sleep as long as you want.”

 

Rob nodded and yawned. “Thanks. You don’t mind if I stay here?”

 

“Nah. What’s one more person sharing my bed. At least you’re just sleeping in it.”

 

Rob smiled and was asleep before the water cut on.

 

 

Jeff was already in the kitchen when Shannon walked in. “Hey. What’re you doing up so early?”

 

“Nothing.” Shannon popped some bread in the toaster.

 

“What’s with you?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Shannon, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“I’m not sure I can put it into words.”

 

“Try.”

 

“Ash was having a nightmare. Rob and I woke her up. But when she opened her eyes, I was scared of her.”

 

“Why? Shannon, Ash has never done anything to hurt you.”

 

“I know. I don’t understand it. But for a minute, right after she woke up her eyes were dark. I’m not sure if it was the light. But they looked purple.”

 

“That’s impossible.”

 

“I know, but…”

 

Jeff cut him off. “No buts, Shannon. You were seeing things. I don’t ever wanna hear you say something like that again!”

 

“Thanks for listening, Jeff.” Shannon pushed past him and angrily left the room. He bumped into Trish on his way out, but didn’t stop to apologize.

 

”What’s with him?”

 

“His imagination is running amok.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothing. He’s fine.”

 

“You don’t sound so sure.”

 

Jeff looked away. “For some reason, I’m not.” His nostrils flared and he caught a whiff of vanilla shampoo right before Ash walked in. He looked back and forth between them. “I, uh, I’ve got something to do.”

 

Trish took the toast Shannon had put down and smeared butter on it, acting like Ash wasn’t there.

 

“Can we talk?” Ash timidly asked.

 

“You sure you’ve got time?”

 

“That’s not fair, Trish.”

 

“No. What’s not fair is you’re always so busy trying to save everybody that you forgot about me.”

 

“I haven’t forgotten about you. I just knew you’d be patient with me. And you have. More patient than you should’ve been, more than I had any right to expect.”

 

“Keep going.”

 

“I’m sorry. The only other thing I can say is that I have time now. I’m making time for you. I just hope it’s not too late.”

 

“Too late for what?”

 

“To repair the damage my thoughtlessness caused.”

 

“What if it is too late? What will you do then?”

 

Ash blinked back tears. “I guess I’d have to deal with that.”

 

Trish just shook her head. “Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel right now. So I guess what I need is some time to think.”

 

“I can give you that.”

 

“Okay. So I guess we’ll talk later.”

 

“Whenever you want to, I’ll have the time. I promise.” Ash grabbed a box of cereal, a bowl, and some milk, then left.

 

When Nicky woke up, he laid still for a while, instead of popping up as usual. He couldn’t quit replaying last night’s events through his brain. He’d been unsure of the whole thing, figuring that’s where Micha would steer things. Then how mad Ash was. It was almost too much for Nicky. Micha stirred beside him, and Nicky placed a kiss on top of his head.

“You’re not mad at me?”

 

“Was I mad at you last night?”

 

Micha propped his chin on Nicky’s shoulder. “No.”

 

“Then why would I be now?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

Nicky got up and started to dress. “Then don’t worry about it. Besides, you know I can forgive you anything.”

 

“Do you wanna talk?”

 

“We are talking.”

 

“I meant about what Ash said last night.”

 

Nicky just shrugged and sat beside Micha. “What do you want me to say? That I’m hurt? Yeah. You of all people should understand that. I shouldn’t have to talk about it Micha. But I’m mostly confused. Ash has never used that kind of stuff against us. She was there. She remembers.” Nicky gave a disgusted shiver. “That was something Ash couldn’t save me from. So why would she threaten to make me perform like Gabrielle did.”

 

Micha spoke quietly. “The way I did too?”

 

Nicky gave him a loving look. “No. Not the way you did. Gabrielle made me have sex in some of the most demeaning ways in front of people. And she got off on it. What you were doing was nothing close to that. You were acting out of love. And I understand that.”

 

“But it was selfish as well. I’m really attracted to Rob.”

 

“I know.”

 

“It bothers you.”

 

Nicky nodded. “A little. But I understand pard mentality. We share. But I’m used to being shared against my will. Even before Gabrielle. So I don’t understand you wanting to be with other people.” Nicky stood up again. “But since I care so much about you, I deal with it. Maybe it would be easier with someone more open to new things, though.”

 

“You don’t like Rob?”

 

“I don’t really have any feelings about Rob. But he’s too homophobic. He’ll never accept us.”

 

“If I can get him too, will you try it?”

 

“Define ‘it’.”

 

“Sex with a group.”

 

Nicky sighed and headed for the door. “If it’ll make you happy.”

 

“But will you be happy if I succeed?”

 

“That remains to be seen.”

 

 

Adam and Heather were lounging by the pool when Amy walked out. She wore a bikini that showed more than it covered. Adam watched her dive into the water from behind his sunglasses. She resurfaced and shook the water from her face. He glanced at Heather to see if she’d noticed his staring. She didn’t. She, too, was watching Amy. Adam grinned, thinking maybe his problem was solved. But how to go about setting it up?

 

“It’s about time to close the pool.”

 

Heather made a half listening noise.

 

“Pretty soon it’ll be too cold to swim.”

 

Heather finally looked at him. “What?”

 

“We close the pool for winter.”

 

“So what will we do for fun?”

 

Adam grinned and pointedly turned his attention to Amy. “Lots of other things.”

 

She suppressed an excited giggle. “Define other things.”

 

“Usually parties. We always have a big one for Halloween.”

 

“But that’s still weeks away.”

 

Once again Adam watched Amy glide back and forth in the water. “I guess we’ll just have to find something to entertain us until then.”

 

It was Heather’s turn to smile as she stood up and adjusted her bikini. “I’ll get right on that.” Then she joined Amy.

 

 

Ash was sitting cross-legged on the couch, eating frosted cheerios and lost in thought. She looked up when Rob entered. “Have you seen Michelle?”

“No. Is something wrong?”

 

“Kind of. I just need to talk to her.”

 

“Rob, you can talk to me now. I’m your Alpha.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean…”

 

“Rob, what?”

 

“I just uh…need to ask you a question.”

 

Ash put her bowl on the coffee table. “So, ask.”

 

“Can I see your boobs?”

 

She could only stare at him a moment while he fidgeted uncomfortably. Finally she stood up and lifted her tank top and bra up. “Making sure you still like girls?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Well?”

 

He brought his gaze up to her eyes. “Well what?”

 

“Can I put my shirt down?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.”

 

“Rob, sit down.” When he was beside her on the couch, she spoke again. “I don’t understand your phobia, because I was raised in an environment where almost everything was accepted. But that doesn’t stop me from sympathizing with you. I just don’t get how you could be in a pard and not run across any gay situations.”

 

“Drew was the only other guy in our pard.”

 

“But he doesn’t seem as phobic as you are.”

 

Rob shrugged. “If he likes guys he’s never been obvious about it.”

 

“Okay. That makes sense. I guess what I’m getting at is maybe you should open up your mind a little bit.”

 

Rob gave her a shocked look. Ash quickly went on. “I’m not telling you to go right now and have sex with Drew or anything. Just maybe you should think about something. Last night you were freaked out and turned on.”

 

“Wait. How did you know I was turned on?”

 

“Um, sweetie, it was obvious when you came to my room. So I guess what you really need to think about is, were you more freaked cause two guys were having sex? Or because you wanted to jump in?”

 

Rob stayed quiet.

 

“No one here will judge you. Or think you’re less of a tough guy. So if you keep coming back to being curious about guys, it’s okay. Most of us aren’t picky.”

 

“I’m not gonna do something just to be like everyone else.”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Rob. You’re hopeless.”

 

“Not hopeless so much as confused. I’m not trying to be difficult. I just don’t know exactly what I want.”

 

Ash snorted. “I can so understand that.”

 

“Yeah. I guess you can.”

 

They laughed together, then Ash looked at her soggy cereal. “That doesn’t look very yummy anymore.”

 

Rob tugged her up. “Come on. I’ll treat you to lunch.”

 

 

Ash was in the study when Adam busted in. His hair was disheveled, his clothes haphazardly thrown on. He was shaking. Ash jumped up, going around the desk. “It almost happened. I wasn’t strong enough. She almost shifted.”

 

“What about Amy?”

 

Adam was too upset to catch the change in her voice. She started to circle around him.

 

“She took control of Heather’s beast. But I didn’t catch it. I was careless.”

 

“Yes. You were.”

 

“Ash?”

 

“Hmm?” Her fingers trailed across his bare back as she came around to face him. Her head was down, her hair covering her face.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Me? Oh, Adam, I’m not the one with the problem. I can have sex without shifting. I’m not weak.” Her head rose slightly. She was smiling. “You, however, you’ve always been weak. And you’ll always be weak. You can’t even have sex without someone there to baby sit.”

 

“You sound like Gabrielle.”

 

Ash let out a startled gasp and raised her confused gaze to meet his yes. “What?”

 

Adam backed away. “You’re acting like her.”

 

“Adam, I…I’m sorry.”

 

“I think there’s something really wrong with you.”

 

“I…I don’t know.” She put a hand to her head. “I just don’t feel right.”

 

“Maybe you should call Mark.”

 

“Yeah, maybe.” He started to leave. “Hey, Adam?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Full moon.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“The full moon is in three days. That’s probably why she almost lost it.”

 

“Yeah. Thanks Ash.”

 

After he left, she sat back down and reached for the phone. She had all but the last number dialed when she replaced the handset. She scrubbed her hands down her face. No use bugging Mark right now. Everything would be fine anyway.

 

 

 

Ash was leaning back in her chair, feet propped on the desk and staring blankly out the window. Raindrops chased each other down the glass, while lightning illuminated the sky. But she never blinked. Her thoughts were jumbled, confused. She hadn’t quite been herself lately. She’d blown off hunting with the pard on the last full moon, just a few days ago. And when Micha had asked where she’d been she’d snapped at him. “Since when do I have to explain my actions to you, Micha? I am Alpha Fucking Female. I will answer to no one.”

There had been more outbursts similar to that one. Everyone was avoiding her now, risking only the briefest contact. Even Shannon was acting skittish. An incessant knocking finally gained Ash’s attention. “What?”

 

Shawn walked in, and closed the door behind him with a bang. “What’s your problem now?”

 

Ash blinked at him. “I think I should be asking you that question. You’re the one busting in here with an attitude.”

 

He shook his head. “You know I don’t like to get involved in shit unless I have to but right how I just don’t get you.”

 

“What’s not to get?”

 

“You behavior lately. Up until a few months ago you were miserable. We all were. Even me. But now, everything is fixing itself. So I don’t get why you’re still a bitch. I’d swear you’re fucking shit up on purpose to stay unhappy, because that’s the only way you know to be. But hey, that’s not even my problem with you. If you want to isolate yourself, that’s okay. But everyone else is suffering too, and that I’m not okay with. Life isn’t fun anymore, and you made it that. And if you can’t have fun, life is shit.”

 

“Are we done with the lecture?”

 

“Yeah, cause your probably not listening anyway.”

 

“It’s not that. It’s just I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me.”

 

“Well, you need to figure it out. And get it fixed.” He started to leave, than glanced back at her. “What’s with the knife?”

 

Ash gave him a puzzled look, then glanced down. She was sharpening a long silver dagger and didn’t remember ever picking it up. “Uh. I just needed something to keep my hands busy.”

 

Shawn didn’t comment. He only left her with more confused thoughts. She sat there a few more minutes, then got up and went down the hall. She paused in her open bedroom door, smiling at what greeted her. Shannon’s jean clad butt was up in the air as he searched under the bed. “Looking for something?”

 

Shannon yelped and turned around. He stammered as he spoke. “I lost, uh, my other sock.”

 

Ash noticed one bare foot. “Did you find it?”

 

Seeing only amusement on her face, he pouted. “No. I think the monsters under the bed ate it.”

 

“Monsters? Under my bed? I thought the monster slept on top of it.”

 

Shannon rose and tentatively walked over to her. “You’re not a monster.”

 

“Tell that to my conscience.”

 

He shrugged. “So you’ve been a little cranky lately. It’ll pass.”

 

“I hope you’re right.” Ash felt the need to change the subject. “Feel like being my white knight?”

 

Shannon grinned. “If any monsters come out from under that bed, I’ll slay them for you Milady. But do I have to be a white knight?”

 

She kissed his cheek. “How ‘bout knight in spotted armor?”

 

“That’ll work.” He grabbed the remote and crawled on the bed. He scooted toward the middle and waited. Ash put the knife on the nightstand and laid beside him, using his shoulder for a pillow. Shannon flipped through the channels and finally stopped on a Cosby show rerun. They watched for a few minutes before Ash spoke. “I used to wish for a family like the Huxtables.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I didn’t exactly have a pudding pop commercial childhood. When I was a teenager I resented my parents for not being normal. I hated not going to a normal school and learning normal things, and having normal teenage problems. You know. First date, first kiss. That stuff. But I was learning rituals and rites. What runes mean what and which deities to pray to. Having Bill Cosby for a dad was very inviting at the time.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it would be.”

 

“Shannon?”

 

He shook his head. “Just be glad your parents accepted what you are. Mine won’t speak to me. As far as they’re concerned I’m dead.”

 

Ash wanted to tell him her own story. About not living up to expectations. But now wasn’t the time. “I’m sorry, Shannon.”

 

He shook his head again. “It’s fine. Maybe they’ll come around some day. And maybe not. I am who I am. I can’t change it for them.” He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “And from where I’m at right now, if given the choice, I can’t say I would change a thing.”

 

“You sure do know how to make a girl melt.”

 

He just smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

 

“Shannon?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Have you noticed that we always talk about bad stuff when we’re together?”

 

“Yes. So shut up and watch T.V.”

 

Ash laughed and turned her attention back to the perfect family.

 

 

When Ash woke up the T.V was still on, but Shannon was asleep beside her. Her head rose up and down with his deep even breaths. Her knee rested on his upper thigh and his hand was possessively positioned on her leg. She moved her head up slowly so she wouldn’t wake him. Different colors from the screen flashed across his sleeping features. Ash didn’t think she’d see anything more beautiful even if she lived to be a thousand. She had to smile at herself. She’d never been terribly poetic. That was Jeff’s department.

Shannon’s lips were slightly parted moving Ash to kiss them. She had to lean up on her elbow, but she managed without disturbing him. She ran her fingers through the soft hair by his temples and placed a feather light kiss on his lips. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled. Ash returned it, then sealed her mouth to his. His hand mover up her leg to her butt, while his other cupped the back of her head.

 

Ash blinked and realized they were both naked. Ash had a moment of panic that she’d lost time. She didn’t remember getting to that point. But Shannon was entering her and all thought scattered.

 

He groaned and her gaze shot to his arms. Blood leaked out of long scratches. Ash watched it pool around her nails. The coppery smell drifted to her nose and she breathed deep. Ash watched her hand move as if in a dream. She blindly groped for the nightstand. Something, some indescribable emotion welled up inside her as the silver dagger came into her line of sight. A voice in the back of her head whispered to her. Telling her not to stab, but to lay the blade flat against his skin. He’s not expecting it. His eyes are closed. Ash had the knife an inch from his back when he looked at her. There was love and trust. His eyes were full of it. Ash screamed and pushed him away. The knife fell harmlessly to the floor.

 

“Ash?”

 

“Get out!”

 

“What’s wrong?” He tried to touch her, but she screamed again. Long and loud. Something was wrong with the sound. Her voice was distorted.

 

”Get out now. Please Shannon.”

 

“I’m gonna get Jeff.”

 

There were black spots in front of Ash’s eyes. She couldn’t focus. Her mind was numb. Jeff was suddenly there in front of her.

 

“Ash? Ashley? Can you hear me? Shannon, turn on a light.”

 

Bright light flooded the room. Ash caught sight of Shannon and a low growl escaped her lips. She quickly turned away. “Get him out of here.”

 

Shannon fled the room. Ash felt the pressure in her head ease a little. But the thing inside her, the other bestial creature that seemed to be ripping apart her brain, turned its attention to Jeff. “Something’s wrong,” she whispered. The other beast purred and Ash’s whole body shook. A female voice echoed through her skull, making her scream. “Now, they’re mine again.”

 

Jeff caught one word in the cry that made his blood run cold. “Gabrielle.”

 

Ash’s eyes snapped open. Even though he’d been expecting it, he was startled to see that they were purple. Jeff watched as she stretched and gracefully stood up. “You don’t seem too surprised.”

 

Jeff winced. Even her voice was Gabrielle’s. “Let’s just say I put two and two together. And came up with bitch.”

 

“Well well well. When did you get so feisty?”

 

“Right after we ate you.”

 

“Mmmm. Point for you.” She stalked around him and reached out as if to slash him with her nails. She stopped in mid action and it seemed to amuse her. “After all this time she’s still fighting. She doesn’t want to admit defeat. But I’ve finally gained enough power to take control. I win.”

 

“How long have you been inside Ash?”

 

“Months now. I must admit she’s stronger than I had first thought. I’d have moments I could break through, but she’d push me back. The stupid girl never figured it out. Now even that necromancer couldn’t do shit.”

 

“You tried to make her hurt Shannon.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“You’ve been causing all the problems lately.”

 

“Smart boy. Smarter than you look.” She paused and rage contorted her features. “NO!!” Her face went slack and she collapsed. Jeff tried not to, but he ran to her. She sat on her knees panting. “Call Mark.” It was Ash’s voice. “Hurry. I don’t know when she’ll come back. Or if I can keep her from hurting you.”

 

Jeff found her cell phone and searched for the number. He let out a shout of triumph when he found it. It rang three times before a man answered. “Hello?”

 

“I need to speak with Mark right away.”

 

“Who’s calling?”

 

“My name’s Jeff but…”

 

“I’m sorry. You’ll have to leave a message.”

 

“You don’t understand. I’m calling for his niece, Ash. Do you know her?”

 

There was a pause on the other end. “Yeah. Why couldn’t she call?”

 

“Because something is very wrong with her.”

 

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

 

“Do you really wanna take that chance? And risk pissing him off if I’m telling the truth?”

 

“Hold please.”

 

Jeff counted to 30 while he waited. Finally a deep voice came on the line. “Who is this?”

 

“My name’s Jeff. I’m a friend of Ash’s. Something’s wrong with her.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“There’s not enough time to explain, but I think she’s possessed.”

 

“It would take an extremely powerful entity to possess anyone, especially a lycanthrope. Are you sure she’s possessed?”

 

Ash’s head snapped up and another growl came from her. Jeff watched her eyes start to darken. “Uh, yeah. Pretty sure.”

 

She started to get up. “Please just send someone to help.” He hung up.

 

Adam was outside the bedroom door when Mark got there. “Who’s in there with her?”

 

Adam answered in a hushed voice. “Just Jeff. He won’t let anyone else in.”

 

Mark nodded and Adam moved aside. Before Mark could open the door, Adam spoke again. “I know how bad things like this can be. I’m probably the only one here who does. So tell me the truth. Can you really help her?”

 

Something flashed in Marks eyes. “I honestly don’t know. It depends on how strong the possession is. And how strong Ash is.”

 

“She’s the strongest person I know. But it’s bad, Mark. I haven’t seen her, but the sounds coming from in there aren’t good. She’s tearing shit apart. And Jeff’s by himself with her. I hope you brought back up.”

 

“Kane’s downstairs.”

 

Adam nodded and let Mark enter the room. Power hit him as soon as he opened the door. It was more like a group of lycanthropes were in there instead of two. Jeff lay in a crumpled heap by the bed. Blood leaked from his eyes and nose to pool on the carpet. Ash was nowhere to be found. Mark called for Adam. “Get him some help.”

 

After Adam carried Jeff out the door, Mark heard whimpering from the bathroom. Ash was on the floor with her back to him. She’d pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “Ash?”

She didn’t respond so he moved further into the room. She was rocking slightly and mumbling in Gaelic. The words that he could make out made him think she was praying. When he was close enough to see over her shoulder he flinched. Her jeans were almost black with blood. Her hands shook as she slowly turned a silver dagger in her thigh. Mark squatted down behind her. “Ashley?”

 

Still no response.

 

“Ashley, what’s going on?”

 

“Pain,” she whispered.

 

“You’re in pain because you’re cutting yourself.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes you are.”

 

“No. Pain keeps her away. She doesn’t like the pain. Had to hurt Jeff. Tried to stop me.”

 

“I need to get you out of here. Can you stand?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m gonna pick you up. Okay?”

 

She nodded, her hands still grinding the knife into her leg. As deep as the blade was in, she had to have hit bone. He carefully picked her up, expecting a fight, but she was ridged still in his arms. “She’s too strong.”

 

Mark had to lean down to hear her. “Maybe not.”

 

“Yes. I can feel her. In my head. She’s mad. Hate. She hates me. She’s laughing.” Mark looked at her; afraid she’d already begun to loose her mind, but was surprised to find her eyes clear. There was no madness in them yet. The pain was holding the possession back.

 

“Just hold on.”

 

“What if I can’t?”

 

Mark put her down and she fell to the floor. “Then I’m going to leave you here. You’re stronger than this. But if you go into this thinking you can’t do it, you’re fucked. The ritual is risky. You could die. And if you go into it thinking that, you will die. And waste my time. So tell me now, before I put everyone else in danger by bringing a possessed wereleopard into my house, if you can do it.”

 

Ash started giggling and again Mark thought madness had taken over. But she grabbed the counter and slowly pulled herself to her feet. Her green eyes sparkled at him. “The Lord

of Fucking Darkness is telling me to be optimistic when a crazy dead wereleopard is trying to take over my body. What’s wrong with this picture?”

 

Mark had to smile. “There she is. Now, do you want me to take the knife out?”

 

“No. That might be the only thing holding her back.”

 

He nodded. “It’s gonna be hard to walk.”

 

“If there’s a chance I might not come back, then dammit I’m gonna walk out of here. I won’t let them see me be carried.” Ash thought for a moment. “Will you get my trench coat from the closet? I don’t want to scare anybody.”

 

“They’re already scared, Ash. I could feel it when I walked into the house.” Mark helped her into the coat.

 

“Well, I can’t do anything about that. But I don’t want to add to it, either. Is Jeff hurt badly? Why don’t you bring someone else with you in case Gabrielle tries to come out and play?”

 

Mark nodded. “Kane’s waiting in the car. I didn’t want his presence to fuel everyone’s fear either.”

 

Ash took a deep breath and slowly hobbled towards the door. The knife was a constant burning. Like someone had lit a fire through her leg. She couldn’t leave it there very much longer or she’d risk silver poising. “The knife will have to go soon.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Not sure. I don’t know how fast the silver takes to spread to the heart.”

 

“We’ll take it out when we get to the car.”

 

“And what happens if I can’t hold her back? I don’t think she’s strong enough to take complete control yet. But she’s getting there.”

 

“We’ll deal with that if we have to. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. But they may be painful.”

 

“Look at me, Mark. I’ve got four inches of silver going through my leg, and I’m determined to walk out of this house. Do you really think pain scares me?”

 

He sighed heavily. “Parts of the ritual will make you wish for the kind of pain you’re in right now.”

 

Ash paled a little, but kept walking. “Then I guess we’re about to find out how tough I really am.”

 

A few people were gathered in the living room waiting for them to come out. By the time Ash reached the bottom of the stairs she was leaning on Mark. Everybody got up at once. “How bad is Jeff hurt?”

 

Adam answered. “Concussion. He’s sleeping it off. He should be back to normal by tomorrow.”

 

Ash nodded and took another deep breath. “Okay, guys. Listen up cause time is short. I’m gonna be gone for a little while. I’m not sure how long. Trish and Jeff are in charge. Try not to have any major issues while I’m gone. But if it’s necessary that you do, go to them.”

 

Shannon spoke up. “When you come back everything will be fine, right? No more Gabrielle?”

 

Ash glanced back at Mark before responding. His face remained blank. She limped toward Shannon. “If I come back, yes. Everything will be fine. But there’s a chance the ritual could break my mind, or kill me. If I go crazy I won’t come back. If Gabrielle’s hold is already too strong I won’t come back. Mark and I have an arrangement.”

 

“You told him to kill you.”

 

“I don’t want to risk hurting anyone else. If Mark can’t send me home back to normal, I will not come back.”

 

Trish laced her fingers though Ash’s. “You’ve never been normal, Ash. But we do understand.” She cupped the sides of Ash’s head in her hands. “But I haven’t forgiven you yet. I’m not done being mad, so you have to come back. If you don’t you’ll never be able to make anything up to me.”

 

Mark cleared his throat. “Ash, we need to go.”

 

“I know.” She never looked away from Trish. “You’re second. You know what that means.”

 

“Don’t. Don’t do this Ashley.”

 

“I have to. If I don’t come back, you’ll be Alpha. Keep them safe. And take care of Shannon. He may not deal with it well.”

 

“Don’t talk like you’re already gone.”

 

“I am. There’s more of Gabrielle now than me. It’s up to Mark to bring me back.” Ash felt claws in her brain, starting to poke around. “It’s time to go. Tell Jeff I love him.”

 

Trish let go and stepped back to the others “Tell him yourself.”

 

Mark helped her out to the car and got in the back seat with her. “Drive.”

 

Kane pealed out as fast as he dared. Ash threw the coat aside, “The knife has to come out.”

 

Mark gripped the handle. “Ready?”

 

“She’s right below the surface. Once the pain’s gone it’ll be all her.”

 

“I can control her. But it’ll hurt. If you start to black out, just go with it.”

 

Ash hardened her resolve, put her hand over his, and pulled. Someone was screaming. It sounded panicked, close to hyperventilation. Chanting could barely be heard in the background. Her whole body was on fire…then nothing.

 

Ash came to when Mark was pulling her from the car. “I can walk.”

 

“There’s no one here to play hero for, Ash. There’s no shame in being carried.”

 

“I said I could walk. I won’t quit without a fight.”

 

Mark felt the change in her as he helped her into the house. She was still fighting, but Gabrielle was winning. Christian flung the door open, and Ash stopped walking. Her voice sounded like someone talking over her. Still her own, but yet not. “I know you. She feels very violently about you. She’s hiding something. Something even I never knew about.”

 

“Get out of the way, Christian.”

 

He obeyed instantly, letting Mark drag her through.

 

 

Trish walked into Jeff’s room and surveyed the scene before her. Shannon was gently wiping the blood from Jeff’s face and upper chest. “How is he?”

 

Shannon dipped the cloth in a bowl of warm water. “Coming in and out of consciousness.” The blood in Jeff’s hair wouldn’t come out with just water, though Shannon tried. His voice held unshed tears as he spoke. “He’s gonna be fine. Just need to keep him warm now.” He looked at Trish with wide eyes. “What’re we gonna do if…”

 

“Shannon, don’t. I can’t reassure you right now. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. But whatever it is we’ll deal it.”

 

“You’ll take care of us?”

 

The look on his face killed something inside her. If Ash didn’t come back, she was it. The thought made her feel helpless and mad. Irrationally mad. Mad at Ash for leaving things like they were and mad at Shannon for putting her on the spot. “No, dammit, I’m not Ash. I’m not going to baby you or anyone else. We’re all adults here. We need to find our own way of dealing with shit. If Ash dies then she’s let us all down. But we’ll get past it.”

 

Shannon buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

 

“Get out, Shannon. Go find someone else to tell you everything’s gonna be okay. I just can’t.”

 

He fled the room quickly. Trish closed and locked the door. She turned to look at Jeff. His eyes were open. “Too hard on him,” he whispered.

 

“I know. But how can I lie to him? He wants assurances I can’t give him.”

 

“First rule of being Alpha, don’t bully those weaker than you.”

 

“But I don’t wanna be Alpha. I never have. It’s not fair that she put me in this position.”

 

Jeff tried to sit up, but dizziness kept him from it. “Nobody asked for this, Trish. None of us.”

 

Trish studied his pale face with little spots of blood still on it. “After everything she’s done, you still love her, don’t you?”

 

“Of course.” Jeff closed his eyes again. His voice was heavy with exhaustion when he spoke again. “You can’t pick who you love, Trish. And sometimes people do things you don’t like. But that doesn’t change the way you feel about them. She wasn’t herself when she hit me. I was trying to stop her from doing something to keep Gabrielle back. I understand. I don’t hate her. Why do you?”

 

Trish sat on the side of the bed. “I don’t know. I don’t even know that I hate her. I think I’m mad at myself. I was selfish. She tried to apologize and I pushed her away. And now there might not be time to take it back. She wanted to make things right and I wouldn’t let her.”

 

Jeff held his hand out to her. “Don’t dwell on it. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

 

“So what do I do for now?”

 

“Lay with me. Keep me warm. And if we have something to grieve about we'll grieve together.”

 

 

 

“Ashley…Ash…open your eyes.” Her eyelids fluttered open and harsh light glared into them.

 

“Too bright.”

 

Mark turned the light down. “I need you to let go.”

 

Panic seized her. “What?”

 

“I need you to stop fighting now. I’ve done as much as I can with you in control and it’s not working. The only thing left is to try letting her come to the surface. And I’ll try to banish her from there.”

 

“And if that doesn’t work?”

 

“Let’s hope it does.”

 

“Mark, I’m not quite sure how to let go. I’ve spent all my energy trying to fight her off.”

 

“No ideas on what would set her off?”

 

Ash thought for a moment. “Dial my house. I need to talk to Jeff.”

 

Mark did as she asked and held the phone to her ear. Ash flexed her hands inside the silver shackles, feeling utterly helpless. Heather answered the phone and quickly took it to Jeff. His voice was groggy when he spoke. “Hi beautiful.”

 

Ash couldn’t help but smile. “You know just what to say when a girl’s tied down and aching all over.”

 

He almost laughed, then got serious. “What’s going on?”

 

“I need to let her come out. I didn’t know how else to do it. She seems to like making the people I love hate me. So I figured I’d call and abuse you more.”

 

“I love you too, Ash.”

 

She tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob.

 

“Don’t cry. Save that for when you come home to a big party.”

 

She gave another hiccuppy sob. “Oh Jeff. There’s probably not gonna be a party. I think if she takes over again I’m gonna loose my mind.” She took a deep calming breath. “I want you to be Trish’s Alpha.”

 

“Don’t say bye, Ash.”

 

“I’m afraid anything I say will sound like goodbye, Jeff.”

 

“Then don’t say anything. Just listen.” He was quiet a moment then he began to sing.

 

“It must be your skin

I’m sinking in

It must be for real

‘Cause now I can feel

I didn’t mind

It’s not my kind

It’s not my time

To wonder why

Everything’s all white

And everything’s gray

Now you’re here

Now you’re away

I don’t want this

Remember that

I’ll never forget

Where you’re at”

He paused at the chorus.

 

“Keep singing, please.” Her voice was raspy, starting to sound different.

 

“I’m never alone

I’m alone all the time

Are you at one

Or do you lie

We live in a wheel

Where everyone steals

And when you rise

It’s like strawberry fields

Treated you bad

You bruised my face

Could’ve loved you more

You’ve got a beautiful taste”

 

He’d just finished the last word when he heard the phone being moved. Ash screamed and then silence. Jeff hung up the phone, laid down and finally let himself wonder what would life be like without her? Trish touched his arm comfortingly. “Please don’t. You can stay. I’d like you to actually. But don’t talk to me. I don’t wanna talk.” Trish nodded and removed her hand, understanding his need for space, yet wanting someone close.

 

Jeff rolled on his side away from her and felt tear leak from his eyes. Whatever happened, he’d never hear Glycerine without thinking about Ash. And if she didn’t come back he’d never sing again. Music was as much a part of him as breathing. It had brought them together. He could survive without the music, but to loose them both, he’d go mad. He didn’t realize he was sobbing until Trish tentatively reached out again. When he turned to her, he felt tears on her cheeks, too. They wrapped their arms around each other and grieved.

 

 

 

Mark stumbled out of the room and firmly closed the door. He spoke to Kane. “No one goes in there.” Kane nodded at his brother’s retreating back.

 

Mark was drinking coffee when Christian slipped into the kitchen. “How’s it going?”

 

Mark only shook his head.

 

“How much longer can either of you keep this up?”

 

“Not long. If I push too hard I could break her mind, but I’m just about tapped. At this point I’m running on pure adrenaline. And I’ve got a decision to make.”

 

Christian sat down at the table. “She’s strong.”

 

“I know. But so is Gabrielle. She keeps playing hide and seek, trying to wear me down. And it’s working. I can either keep this up and hope she gives out before I do, or I can shove the last bit of my power into her and pray it’s enough.”

 

“What if it’s not?”

 

“A couple of things. It could get rid of Gabrielle but break Ash’s mind. If it’s too much power or not enough, piss the bitch off and still have Ash in a straight jacket.”

 

“Any scenarios where she doesn’t go crazy?”

 

Mark sighed. “The odds are getting smaller and smaller.”

 

“Well, what’s the other choice?”

 

“Kill her.”

 

“What?” Christian’s chair flew backwards as he stood up.

 

Mark gave him a menacing look to remind him who was in charge. After Christian had reseated himself, Mark continued. “She told me not to let Gabrielle hurt anyone else, or leave her to madness.”

 

“But you can’t just kill her without trying to save her.”

 

“I know that Christian. And I am trying. But I’m running out of options. And she’s running out of time.”

 

Christian bent his head forward letting his shoulder length hair cover his face. “Last time I saw her, she said she’d make me bleed. She hates me. And I should hate her back. But I can’t.”

 

“I don’t know what happened, but Ash only gets that mad over people she cares about. You hurt someone she’s close to. Must’ve been one of her cats.”

 

Christian only nodded. Mark shrugged and went back into the room where a little girl he’d watched grow into a powerful woman waited with her life in his hands.

 

 

 

Adam was awake when Heather blinked up at him. “Still having trouble sleeping?”

 

He sighed. “It’s been days. We should’ve heard something by now. He could at least contact me.”

 

“Maybe he’s too wrapped up.”

 

Adam shook his head. “I know how these things go. He’s got to take breaks or risk getting sucked in himself.”

 

Amy propped her head on Heather’s shoulder. “How do you know so much about this stuff?"

 

“I used to live there, before I was a wereleopard.”

 

Both girls remained quiet, listening. “When I found Mark I was 15 and living on the streets. I had the usual sob story. Broken home, turned to violence. Mark offered me a home and in exchange I worked for him. Fighting was all I knew, so I became an assassin; basically a hit man for people who pissed him off. Or I’d bring people to him, so he could have his own revenge. I was not a nice person. I had an extremely volatile temper.”

 

Amy snorted. “Imagine that. Adam with a temper.”

 

He gave her a sarcastic smile. Heather good-naturedly smacked at Amy. “So you knew Ash before you were a leopard?”

 

“Yeah. She was just a kid really when she started spending summers with us. She used to follow me and Christian around all the time.”

 

“Who’s Christian?” Amy asked.

 

Heather was close enough to see a brief hatred flash in his eyes. “An old friend turned enemy.”

 

“What happened?”

 

He rolled over and put his arm over both of them. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

 

 

Kane was still posted outside the door. Screaming could be heard from within. She’d been screaming for what seemed like hours. Kane kept picturing Ash as a little girl. The child who’d been amazed with him, instead of afraid. The only person who’d seen him unmasked besides his brother. He could still feel her tiny hand tracing his scars; hear her little voice tell him he was beautiful. His left hand was tingling as he clenched and unclenched it. That little girl was screaming. And only a thin piece of wood kept him from going to her.

His head jerked up as Mark’s voice echoed through his mind. “Get in here. Bring help.” Kane gave a shout and burst through the door. Mark was on his knees; sweat poured down his pale face. His eyes were rolled back so far only the whites showed. Kane could barely hear him chanting.

 

Ash was still screaming. Her body was twisting on the floor, struggling against the silver that held her. Her hands were elongated with claws at the tips. She was starting to shift. People piled in behind him, but he kept them back, unsure of what to do. Mark gave a shout and power shot from him into Ash. The room seemed to explode, though nothing was damaged. “Hold her down.” Mark collapsed on the floor panting.

 

Ash hissed as they came near her. She lashed out, satisfied when she smelled blood. She felt her restraints give way. No more oppressing silver. She shifted.

 

 

Kane shoved a bleeding Christian out the door and hit the release on Ash’s shackles. She gave a feline scream from a human mouth and then her cat form seemed to explode from her skin. Kane prepared to wrestle her down, but she just sat there looking confused. When she headed for him, he tensed, but couldn’t hurt her unless she tried to hurt him first. Her mouth opened and she emitted a loud purr. Kane smiled beneath his mask as she licked his hand. She turned to Mark who was only half conscious. She settled herself next to him and closed her eyes. In less than a minutes she was back in human form. Kane carried her to an empty room and gently laid her on the bed.

 

 

Ash woke to a strange room. She sat up and gave a gasp as her muscles protested. She fell back with a strangled scream. Fire seemed to engulf her from head to toe. The door opened and Kane was beside her.

 

“Calm down. Lie still. The pain will subside. You’ve had lots of power violently forced on you at once. But it will go away.”

 

Ash tried to still herself, but her muscles were twitchy. Her voice was hoarse as she kept screaming. Kane laid his hands on her head and the pain subsided. She felt groggy and everything went black.

 

When she woke again, she stayed still for a long time. Eventually she summoned the courage to wiggle a finger. The movement caused a bone deep ache, but nothing else. She cautiously got up and groaned slightly. Everything hurt but as least she was alive. She found some clothes by the bed and slipped into them before exiting the room.

 

Kane was waiting outside the door. “Don’t you ever sleep?”

 

He didn’t answer right away. “I’m glad to see you are back to normal.”

 

“If normal is lots of aches and pains, then I’m way past normal.”

 

“You’re complaining. You’re fine.”

 

“Gee, thanks. Has anyone contacted my cats?”

 

He shook his head. “We were waiting. You didn’t seem like you were going to wake up.”

 

“How long have I been out?”

 

“A week.”

 

“And how long since I left the house?”

 

“Eleven days.”

 

“Jesus. I need to get home.” Ash turned toward the stairs but dizziness stole her vision. Kane was there before she could fall.

 

“You’re weak. Take it slow.”

 

“Yeah okay. Just help me down the stairs. Where’s Mark?”

 

“He’s out. He knew you would want to leave as soon as you woke up. I will drive you home.”

 

“Thank you.” Ash let him pick her up. Since his arms were full she lifted his mask slightly and kissed his cheek. He didn’t comment but she saw the small smile as she put the mask in place.

 

 

Ash took a deep breath with her hand on the doorknob. Once she calmed herself she went inside. She stood in the foyer a moment; eyes closed, and drank in the sounds and smells of the house. Of home. Several people were in the living room. She peeked around the corner, talking in the scene. Heather, Adam, and Amy were piled up on one couch. Shannon huddled by himself on a chair. Shawn lounged on the floor.

 

Ash saw Shannon’s head snap up and he sniffed the air. She stepped out into the room. Everyone surged to their feet at once. She held her hands out. “Easy guys. I’m still kinda shaky. I know you’ve probably got lots of questions. Some I’ll answer and some I won’t. But I wanna wait until everyone is gathered.”

 

Jeff spoke quietly form the stairs. “I think you should talk to Trish before you worry about anything else.”

 

Her gaze shot to him. “Is she okay?”

 

He only shrugged.

 

“Know where I can find her?”

 

“The gym probably.”

 

She glanced over her shoulder at him then went down to the basement. Sure enough, Trish was beating the hell out of a punching bag. Ash cleared her throat from the doorway. Trish jumped and turned around. “You’re back?”

 

“Just me.”

 

Trish started toward her, but stopped.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Trish shook her head. “I had pretty much given up hope.”

 

“It was grim for a while.”

 

“I don’t wanna fight anymore.”

 

“Neither do I. I have a new appreciation for not being a bitch all the time. I promised myself if I came back I would settle tings between us one way or another.” A dizzy spell hit Ash and she staggered against the wall.

 

Trish went to her side. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Still not 100%”

 

“You should be in bed.”

 

Ash gave her a stubborn look. “Not yet.”

 

“Ash, we’re fine. Let’s just get you to bed.”

 

“Come with me.”

 

“I will.” Trish helped her to her room. Ash lay down on her own bed gratefully. “If you want me to stay I’ll need a shower.”

 

“So go shower.”

 

Trish smiled and obeyed. A little while later she opened the bathroom door. She stood in just a towel with steam billowing around her.

 

“You’re beautiful.”

 

Trish blushed. “Nah.”

 

“Come lay with me.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Actually, I probably stink too.”

 

“Why didn’t you say something? We could’ve showered together.”

 

“Brain’s not fully functional yet.” Ash got up slowly. Once she was sure she wouldn’t fall, she walked toward the bathroom.

 

“Need help?” Trish sounded hopeful.

 

“I think I can manage.”

 

“Don’t be stubborn.”

 

“Trish, I’ve been out of it for 11 days. I need to know I can still do things for myself. Even something as simple as a shower.”

 

“Fine. But I can be stubborn too.” Trish sat down on the toilet. “If you get dizzy I’ll be close.”

 

Ash smiled at her sweetly. “I think I can manage that too.” She sat on the side of the tub to take her shoes off. Her pants followed. She turned the water on and adjusted the temperature. Suddenly feeling self-conscious she kept her back to Trish to take her shirt off. Trish gasped. “Ash, your scars!”

 

Ash looked over her shoulder. “What about them?”

 

Trish got up and ran her hand over Ash’s back. “They’re almost gone.”

 

“What?” She looked in the mirror behind them and gasped too. The scars were still white but the flesh wasn’t raised up. They had faded to almost nothing. The ones on her butt and thighs were completely gone.

 

“How?”

 

Ash stared into Trish’s bewildered eyes. “I have no fucking idea.”

 

“Could it be a side affect of something Mark did?”

 

“I’m not sure but I don’t think so. I’ll ask him though.”

 

Trish smoothed her hand down Ash’s back again. “Well, there’s no use worrying about in right now. And besides, whatever did this can’t be bad.”

 

Ash couldn’t stop looking at her back. “I’m just wondering at what cost I got this. And to who?”

 

“Don’t over analyze until you talk to Mark.”

 

Ash took a deep breath. “You’re right. I’ll just see it as a good thing until I find out other wise.”

 

Trish sat back down and Ash stepped into the bathtub. She sighed when the hot water hit her aching muscles. Another thought occurred to her. She wasn’t as sore as she’d been earlier. Ash shook her head. Too many complex thoughts at once on her still foggy brain. She’d deal with everything later. After cleaning up, Ash stepped out and accepted the towel Trish handed her. She dried off and headed for the bedroom.

 

Trish slowly followed. “Do you still want me to stay with you?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

 

Trish looked down, “You seemed kind of unsure. You kept your back to me when to took your shirt off.”

 

Ash blushed a little. “I guess I am unsure. It’s been so long since we’ve been together. So much has happened.”

 

Trish closed the distance between them. She took Ash’s face in her hands. “You’re still the one person in my life I trust completely. You’re still the one I want to cry to. And laugh with. And you’re definitely the only person I truly love. When you left I was so mad at you, mostly because it seemed too unfair. You’re the only person I don’t wanna live without.” Her voice cracked.

 

“Shh. Don’t say anymore. You don’t need too, cause I feel the same way. Jeff will be my Alpha because he’s powerful and my lover because he’s my Alpha. I love him because something drew me to him. Our beasts recognized each other as mates on some primal level. Shannon is my lover because both of us need it. He needs to be protected. I need someone to want my protection.”

 

“Where does that leave me?”

 

“You will be in my bed purely because I want you there. You I get to be selfish with. You don’t have strings. You don’t want anything from me. Except love. And that I can give freely to you.” Ash pulled away and climbed under the blankets. Trish got rid of her towel and joined her.

 

“I like your thought process.”

 

“I have a few good trains every once and a while.” She propped herself on her side to looked down at the other girl. Her heart was racing and she realized she was nervous. “Trish, I don’t know where to start. It’s weird. We were together long enough it should seem like second nature.”

 

Trish smiled. “But we’re both different people now. Lot’s of things have changed.”

 

“I know. And what if we’ve changed too much?”

 

“I’m willing to risk it. How ‘bout you?”

 

In answer Ash leaned down and kissed her. It was soft; almost timid. They nibbled at each other’s lips until Trish pulled Ash closer. With their bodies sealed down a line they deepened the kiss at the same time. Ash ran her hands over Trish’s shoulder down to her chest. Trish grabbed her wrist.

 

“No, you’re not better yet. I want you completely back to your old self first.”

 

Ash pouted a little, but agreed. “I’m not sure if I’ll start getting dizzy again.”

 

“See. So you get some sleep. I’ll stay right here with you.”

 

Ash kissed her again, and settled down beside her. Once she realized she didn’t have anything important to occupy her mind she was exhausted. It wasn’t long until she was asleep.

 

 

Ash woke the next morning to a gentle tapping on her door. “It’s unlocked.”

 

Jeff slowly walked in. “Want some breakfast?”

 

Ash smirked at him. “Is that just an excuse to come in here?”

 

He stared down at his feet, pretending to be bashful. “Yeah.”

 

“Shannon does the shy routine better. Leave it to him.”

 

“Okay, how about this. I couldn’t stay away any longer. I gave you as much time as I could. It was my turn to be patient but I’ve never been good at waiting.”

 

Ash met his gaze and for the first time, let all her emotion show in her eyes. “We’ve all waited long enough.”

 

“Should I leave?”

 

They both looked at Trish but Ash answered. “No. I would like you to stay. But I won’t keep you here.”

 

“I just figured you guys would like to be alone.”

 

Ash shrugged. “What better than having two of my favorite people at once.”

 

Jeff stepped closer to the bed. “Just as long as I don’t get left out again.”

 

“I don’t see that being a problem.” Ash beckoned him closer.

 

Trish got up. “Next time I promise to stay. But now, this is for you two. I’ll keep everyone out of here today.” She left before they could say anything.

 

Jeff turned back to Ash with an animal smile. “Alone at last.”

 

The look she gave him matched his. “With nothing holding either one of us back.”

 

Jeff crawled on the bed next to her and lay down. He traced his hand over her face as if memorizing every feature. “I’ve been wanting this for so long and now I’m almost nervous.”

Ash had butterflies in her own stomach. “That makes two of us. There seems to be a lot of that going around lately.”

 

She laughed at his puzzled expression. It had been so long since she’d laughed that once she started she couldn’t stop. She laughed until tears leaked down her cheeks and she was clutching her stomach.

 

Jeff didn’t mind that he was the reason for her humor. Even though he didn’t understand what was so funny. She was calming herself down to a few giggles when he finally got tired of waiting. He leaned over and captured her mouth in a rough kiss. The laughter turned to a moan. He had planned to say something witty when she stopped giggling but now he couldn’t bear to stop kissing her.

 

Their tongues came into play and he groaned. They’d only kissed a few times and he remembered every one. The first time had been not long after Ash had come into the pard. They’d been drawn to each other and almost gotten themselves into a lot of trouble. The second time was after Gabrielle died, but Clayton was the issue. Jeff had lost his fight for control and kissed her senseless. The third time had been brutal, a punishment for hurting him when she’d slept with Shannon. And the last had been with Shannon in the bed next to him.

 

He realized they’d stopped kissing and Ash was studying him. “Penny for your thoughts.”

 

“I was just thinking we’ve only kissed, really kissed, four times in almost five years.”

 

“Five if you count this one.”

 

Jeff smiled. “You’ve kept track?”

 

Ash blushed. “Yeah, well, so have you obviously.”

 

“Don’t go into defense mode. I just didn’t think you’d remember that stuff.”

 

“How can I not, Jeff? You’re not the only one this has been hard on.” At her choice of words Jeff glanced pointedly down the length of their bodies. “Well, okay. Literally it has been. But that’s not what I meant.”

 

“I know. But let’s not talk about the past.”

 

Ash kissed him again, running her hands over his chest. He groaned when her fingers dipped in the waistband of his cotton pants. “Better?”

 

“Much. Keep going.”

 

She obeyed, slipping one hand around him. His head fell back in total abandonment. She stared at his face while she pumped her hand up and down. He opened his eyes and caught her lips in another fierce kiss.

 

“Ash, I wanna make this last. But I’m afraid I can’t. I wanna go slow. Make it memorable. But I also just wanna fuck the hell out of you.”

 

“We have time for memories later. Do it.”

 

His pants were gone in a second. He leaned over her and pulled her legs over his shoulders. “I can try for both.” He thrust inside her.

 

Ash screamed. Her hands clutched his shoulders as he rode her. She bucked her hips against his trying to get the most contact. Through the haze in her mind, she felt his beast reaching out. Jeff’s grin was feral. She moaned and let her own beast out. His hips pumped faster, his thrust shorter and harder. The tingling started where they were connected and radiated out. He kissed her again as they came together. Their cries muffled in each other’s mouths.

 

Jeff fell on top of her; exhausted. Ash ran her hand down his sweat slicked back and nuzzled her cheek against his.

 

“Ash?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You’re purring.”

 

“I wonder why?” She said dryly.

 

“You never purr.”

 

“First time for everything.”

 

 

 

Everyone was gathered in the living room. The meeting had been held. Questions had been answered. Several people started to get up. “Wait.” Trish stood. “Ash, you’re forgetting something.”

 

Ash smiled nervously and turned to Jeff. “I’m not much of a poet so bear with me.” She took a deep breath and continued. “In the beginning we were drawn to each other because it was fate. Our beasts recognized each other as mates. We were destined to be Alphas. But fate can kiss my furry ass. I love you. Not because I’m supposed to, but because I want to, because it feels right. You compliment every part of me. You’re the reason I endured so much. Your strength fed mine. It still does. I want you to always be by my side, to rule with me and to love me. Do you accept?”

 

Jeff slipped off the couch to kneel at her feet, as was custom when becoming Alpha Male.

 

“No.” Ash stood and pulled him with her. “I said I want you by my side. With me, not lower than me. I don’t care how it’s been done in the past. We will be equals in every aspect. Being solely in charge is lonely. I want a partner.”

 

Jeff picked her up and swung her around. “I accept.”

 

“What? No pretty words?”

 

“Nah. You did fine on your own.”

 

The two sat back down to applause from the pard. A few people that remembered how things used to be were trying to hide tears. Things were changing, hopefully for the better. Adam pulled Heather and Amy under each arm, holding them close and smiling. He caught Ash’s eye and winked. He mouthed, “Thank you.” So no one else could see. Beside her Jeff was talking to Trish and Shannon. Ash looked down to where his hand rested lightly on her thigh as if he was unaware of the possessive gesture. Ash felt tears sting her own eyes so she laid her head back and closed them. There was a time when they’d both fought the strong urge just to touch each other whenever they were close. She surveyed the room again. That time had passed. She searched the faces of the people who’d become so much more than friends. She’d done what she’d set out to do. They truly were a family. One big furry family. No one, not even her, had to feel alone anymore.