I always hate my ex-boyfriends. But i guess thats because i was never in love with them. Until Alex. It seemed so PeRfEcT with him, i never would have believed he would break up with me. But i guess its my fault that he did. If i hadnt held hands with my friends brother, maybe we'd still be together. He broke up with me weeks ago, but we still talk. We're what you could call 'friends with benefits'. Its like, if i cant go out with him and this is all we can be, then fine. But it HuRtS cos i know he doesnt feel anything for me anymore, and i do. I dont know if i can do this anymore. I'm sure its not healthy.
So my mom, Alex (yes, ex Alex), and i went to see fireworks tonight. They r so pretty, but i dont know what they have to do with the 4th of july. On the way home Alex held my hand. Why would your ex HOLD YOUR HAND if they dont still like you? I mean,i can understand kissing and stuff, but holding hands isnt like that, its intimate. Why do i keep hurting myself by seeing him? I need to let him go and i need to realize that he's not coming back.
ps: i entered my fist book excerpt. its from a book about a young, depressed woman. check it out.