OK, this page is gonna be something a little different. Somewhere towards either the end of last year (2003), or earlier on this year (2004) roughly marks ten years of me using the name "Rogancy" online. I wanted to do something to commemorate this moment, so I commissioned a friend of mine, The Klarion (Malachai Brimstone, ect.), to help me get the Undertaker here in a match for the amusement of you all. The Klarion was a good choice since he has his own eFed (online wrestling federation). I thought the Undertaker would be a good choice to help me celebrate since a year or so ago, he celebrated what he termed his "Decade of Destruction" or "Ten Years of Terror". Now you see why he's a fitting choice for this. Also, here you see some music for the match. To play them, just click on the links for each theme. Below are various Undertaker themes starting from the older stuff, working down to the newer themes he's had. While reading this page, you'll also see a couple more links to two more themes. You can click on those to play the current music if you want to live the action at home. I originally had players embedded in this page, but it made the loading time for this page a little too long, so I made them into links so the players on you computers will have to do. So without further ado, here is the match as written by The Klarion and edited a little by me.
First Entrance Theme
Older Entrance Theme
Another Older Entrance Theme
Judgement Day Entrance Music
Dead Man Walking (Rollin')
You're Gonna Pay
The shot begins with Rogancy in the ring holding a microphone. The crowd is quiet waiting for him to talk.
ROGANCY: "Iím glad that everyone here could make it tonight. Youíre all in for a very special treat. Iím here to face the Undertaker in a one pinfall match. Heís gonna help me celebrate my own decade of destruction. So Undertaker, I know youíre back there. Iíd just like to thank you for agreeing to this match, but donít think Iím gonna take it easy on you. This is my night, and tonight, this is my yard. "
Suddenly, The Undertaker's music hits and he drives his motorcycle onto the rampway. The crowd explodes with cheers. He throws a hand in the air and rides down to and around the ring. He stares at Rogancy for a few seconds and shakes his head. He gets off his motorcycle and climbs in the ring. Rogancy tries to get in The Undertaker's face, but being about a foot or so shorter than The Undertaker, he just looked silly. The Undertaker grabs the microphone.
UNDERTAKER: "Boy, you just made a serious mistake. You see, this here is my yard. When I am in my yard, everybody takes me seriously. Do you understand?"
Rogancy chuckles. The Undertaker grabs him by the throat.
UNDERTAKER: "You think I'm playing, boy!? Let's see how funny you think I am later when I am kicking your ass in a match!"
The Undertaker drops Rogancy to the mat and drives off. They come back from commercial and show the T.V. audience what went down during the commercial break. They show Rogancy pacing back and forth backstage. He sees the APA and runs toward them.
ROGANCY: "Guys, I need your help! Iím facing the Undertaker in a match and I need your help. I'll give you guys anything if you help me."
Bradshaw and Faarooq look at each other and smile.
BRADSHAW: "Anything, huh? How's about getting me and Faarooq here a couple of cases of beer?"
ROGANCY: "That's it? Beer? You got it! I'll call for it right now."
Rogancy makes the call, then sees Kurt Angle walk by and stops him.
ROGANCY: "Kurt! Look, I have this match later with The Undertaker. Could you give me some pointers?"
KURT ANGLE: "Sure kid. First, you have yourself a nice big glass of milk. It does a body good you know. Oh it's true. It's damn true. Then you remember the three 'I''s. Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence. Since you are going up against The Undertaker, I've come up with a new 'I' for you. Insanity. Then you take your gold medals...oh wait. You don't have any gold medals do you? Well, good luck anyhow."
Kurt Angle walks away leaving Rogancy wondering what the hell just happened. The cameras go to Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler at the announce table.
JIM ROSS: "Welcome back folks, and I gotta tell you, King, this match between this kid and The Undertaker is going to be a real slobberknocker."
LAWLER: "You said it, J.R. I don't think this kid is going to put up much of a fight against The Undertaker at all. Let's go to the ring and Lillian Garcia."
LILLIAN: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. I have been informed by Mr. McMahon that this will be a No Disqualification match. Introducing first, The Undertaker!"
The Undertaker's music hits and he drives his bike down to the ring. He parks it and climbs in the ring. The crowd explodes with cheers as he raises both arms in the air.
LILLIAN: "And his opponent (tries to hold back laughter), Rogancy!"
Rogancy comes out from the back when Shawn Michaels' music accidentally starts playing. It plays until he gets in the ring. The Undertaker is in the corner staring at Rogancy when the bell rings. They circle each other and lock in a collar and elbow tie up. The Undertaker steps back and throws Rogancy all the way across the ring. Rogancy gets up and The Undertaker tells him he can have on free shot. Rogancy cocks his fist back and swings, but The Undertaker catches his fist. The Undertaker goes to the outside and gets a chair and hands it to Rogancy, then motions for him to hit him.
LAWLER: "The Undertaker is going to give this kid a free shot with the chair? All I can say is he better make it a good one."
Rogancy looks around at the crowd, then back at The Undertaker. Rogancy takes a deep breath, then throws the chair at The Undertaker and hits him with the VanDaminator.
JIM ROSS: "VanDaminator! VanDaminator! VanDaminator! Rogancy just hit The Undertaker with the VanDaminator!"
LAWLER: "Calm down J.R. I can hear you. I'm sitting right next to you for cryin' out loud. The move didn't have much of an affect on The Undertaker anyhow."
The Undertaker waits for Rogancy to get up, then levels him with the chair. The Undertaker drops to his knees and lifts Rogancy's head to show the camera his busted open forehead.
UNDERTAKER: "You still think this is a joke, boy? You taking me seriously yet?"
Rogancy opens his eyes and flips off The Undertaker. The Undertaker shakes his head and picks Rogancy off the mat. The Undertaker lifts him up for the Tombstone Piledriver, but Rogancy wiggles free and goes off the ropes and hits The Undertaker with a Spinning Heel Kick that sends The Undertaker to the corner. Rogancy quickly gets up and goes for a splash in the corner, but The Undertaker steps out of the way and Rogancy goes flying over the top rope. The Undertaker follows him out and whips him into the steel steps, then rolls him back in. He picks Rogancy off the mat, but Rogancy hits him with a low blow. Rogancy twists The Undertakers arm and then points to the ropes. Rogancy climbs to the top rope and starts to walk to the center of the rope like The Undertaker does, when he loses his balance and falls, straddling the top rope. The Undertaker looks at the crowd with a smile on his face and grabs the top rope and bounces it up and down until Rogancy falls back in the ring.
All of a sudden, the APA music hits and Faarooq and Bradshaw come down to the ring. The Undertaker is ready and motioning for them to come in the ring. They climb in the ring and help Rogancy up. Rogancy is feeling pretty confident when Bradshaw taps him on the shoulder. Rogancy turns around, only to be hit with the Clothesline From Hell.
JIM ROSS: "What the hell? Bradshaw just hit Rogancy with the Clothesline From Hell! Bradshaw is now pointing at the TitanTron, and...what is this now?"
The TitanTron blinks on and shows the backstage area. A delivery guy is laying amongst the pieces of the table he was driven through. There are empty beer cans and cases all over the place. The camera pans around and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Scott Hall are both passed out on the floor. The camera pans over again and zooms in on a chalkboard. It has both names on it and below both names are dash marks counting the number of beers they drank. "Stone Cold" had 23, Scott Hall had 24 and the delivery guy got one poured on him for his troubles.
LAWLER: "Oh my gosh! Did they drink all that beer? That was the APA's beer in exchange for helping Rogancy!"
JIM ROSS: "Well apparently the transaction wasn't complete. Oh! And Faarooq just hit Rogancy with the Dominator. I guess this is all legal since Mr. McMahon ordered this a No Disqualification match."
The APA was going to leave the ring when Goldberg's music hits.
JIM ROSS: "Now what? King, can this match get any weirder?"
Goldberg slides in the ring and was going to give Bradshaw the spear when Bradshaw sidesteps him. Goldberg's momentum carries him and he ends up spearing Rogancy. The APA and Goldberg fight to the back leaving The Undertaker standing over Rogancy. The Undertaker puts a foot on Rogancy's chest as Referee Earl Hebner counts.
JIM ROSS: "This one is pretty much over except for the three count, and...wait a minute! Rogancy kicked out! I've never seen anyone kick out of a Goldberg Spear before!"
The Undertaker picks Rogancy up and sets him up for the Last Ride. He picks Rogancy up and hits him with the Last Ride. He covers him for the three count.
LILLIAN: "Here is your winner, The Undertaker."
JIM ROSS: "Undertaker wins! Undertaker wins! Undertaker wins! Mercifully, this match is over."
LAWLER: "You've got that right, J.R., but I can't help feeling like something is missing."
Almost on cue, all of the WWE divas come down to the ring and dance around Rogancy who is still unconscious in the ring.
LAWLER: "Puppies! Oh my god, J.R.! Puppies!
Jerry "The King" Lawler was still screaming about puppies as the show went off the air.