Cake, AKA Keiko
Keiko was an obvious choice for the first season because of her braces. Every successful caste needs a metal mouth. "Wait!" you may shout, "But no one since the Cake-meister has had braces!" That's exactly the point. The first cast was the only success, and all the following were just mere shadows of the initial success. Keiko's only appeal were her braces. Nothing else was special about her. Remember that reunion episode? It was like she had gone all mime on us or something. She let that little witch Caroline walk all over her! As a matter of fact CAKE, I don't think your name ever deserves to be associated with the Zoom phenomena! You should be ashamed of yourself!
If you're chubby and you know it shake your flub...
How could any one forget that sarcastic humor of our smug friend David? All right, so he was just as annoying if not more annoying than Lynese. I would have loved to take that little pig and throw him off of the Empire State Building just to see if he would bounce back up. When David isn't busy stuffing his face, he enjoys playing little league. You read that right, LITTLE league. Apparently they don't make a special league for dry witted little twirps who are wider than they are tall. Anyway, his "friends" made up a nickname for him. They all call him "ZOOM!" David, being the genius that he is, thinks that this is a term of endearment. Excuse me while I wet my pants laughing. Little Piggy, if you ever read this I just wanted to let you know that they're making fun of your chubby behind. No one in their right mind would be flattered being called "ZOOM." They're just saying that because you were on a PBS television show meant for five year olds. Thank you for your time.