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Season's so sad to see you go

Okay, so they may not have been attractive, or smart, or funny, or talented, but they belonged to the Zoom team and oh how we will miss their pathetic attempts at humor and interest.

Jesse: A Dentist's Dream

Have you ever watched Doug? It's a cartoon that used to be on Nickelodeon, until it was picked up by ABC for a Saturday morning cartoon. Disney's now in charge of it because where there is a hit, there's Disney! Anyway, Doug's neighbor is Mr. Dink. He's a big purple guy with MASSIVE teeth. Horrible, massive, British teeth. Uh, not that British people have bad teeth... Anyway, go check out Mr. Dink and you will swear that he is Jesse's dad. Not that a cartoon could father a human, but you get the point. Her teeth just disgust us, they are almost as bad as Lynese's hair extensions. It was obvious that Jesse wasn't going to return to the Zoom cast for another season. She exceeded the maximum height limit by about a foot, but some how still managed to get onto the show for a season. Jesse claims to enjoy basketball, so her Amazon height may eventually be beneficial in the long run. Perhaps she won't end up like the rest of these E! True Hollywood Story Wanna Be has beens. But, more than likely, her name will fade from memory and in a few weeks we will be saying, "WHO'S JESSE?!?! Oh, the one with the teeth!"

Jesse's Father?

Notice the resemblence?! Ain't he purty?

Get Your Umbrellas Readying Because It's Going To Rain...

You just have to put these two together. Ah yes, the reign of drool has ended. No more lisping, no more freckles, and no more big, poofy, frizzy hair. Alisa managed to weasle her way onto two seasons of Zoom. What makes her so special?! Okay, so the producers had to reach out to those poor children out there with speech impediments, but seriously, did they have to make the Lispers of America poster child Alisa?! Why couldn't they have kept Pablo? Yes, he was old, yes he had facial and a driver's license, but there is NO way Alisa lived up to that 13 and under age limit herself. It's okay though, because she is gone forever. However, if you're walking down the street one day and recieve a light spritz from a freckled French poodle, just scream "The Russians are coming!" and she'll be sure to turn away because that phrase is ever so offensive to her sensitive ears.