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Mere's Stuff

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hey this is mere and this is my poetry, I would advise you if you're going to read to start from the bottom, those are the newer ones, the older ones, I find suck, with the exception of a small few!
If you have any comments please send me an e-mail. at confused49@hotmail.com. thanks

The site has been revamped, I hope you guys like it, let me know if it's to busy (the background)it might be distracting, but I really liked it! let me know! Oh and sign the guestbook please, it makes me happy!

The Little Things

It's the little things that kill,
They're kidding but still,
When I already feel sad,
It's like everything is bad,
I feel terrible I hurt you,
I know what you've been put through,
When I already feel like shit,
She doesn't have to add to it,
I didn't know I lead you on,
I thought that this thing was gone,
When I already feel upset,
It's just as hard on me I bet,
I'm sorry, I've said so much,
But it hurts as much as painful touch,
When I already said sorry,
I can't do this much more.

Friendship

Friendship is something from deep in your heart,
You may not realize until you grow apart,
Friendship is stronger than the thickest chain,
Friends can help heal all of your pain,
Friends are there for you when you cry,
friendship is something that will never die,
A friend is someone one who you love,
Seem like they've been sent down from somewhere above.

Dedicated 2 dad

How could he have done this to me,
Why can't it be easy and plain to see,
A 3 year old has so much love to give,
He left me with still my whole life left to live,
Asking whens daddy gonna come home,
Why did he leave us here all alone,
I know you don't love him but can't he love me,
He can't be with you mom, but he's still my daddy,
That's to many feelings for a little girl to gain,
There's hate,anger, fear, but most of all pain,
He should have told me way back then,
That after that day I'd never see him again,
How could he put this all on my shoulders,
Why could he not have said, I should just hold her
It's hard for me to know love when it's true,
For I am afraid that they'll leave me too,
It was hard for him to be around mom,
But that's not a good reason, for him not to come,
He's a man he should be strong enough,
He gave up cause seeing me was to rough,
Still to this day I can't understand,
Why he couldn't see what was at hand,
It was easy for him, but why can't he see,
That he left all the pain and struggle for me.

Untitled

 They don't know the pain I feel,
Sometimes I don't even know,
It hurts so much I cannot speak,
I just want to let it all go,
I wish there was a place,
With no fear or pain,
Where there was nothing to lose,
But so much to gain,
Where everybody listened,
But they could also hear,
Where you can be alone,
But someone's always near.

Untitled2

 Have you ever felt completely alone,
Needed to talk but no one was home,
Had your heart sink so far down,
That it felt as if you were about to drown,
Had a tear but held it back from your face,
For fear of being stuck in this place,
Where saddness seems to finds it's way,
Right back into this dark cold day,
I try so hard not to be sad,
It's hard when things can seem so bad,
But through the darkness shines a light,
And for that happinness I'll always fight.

Tomorrow

When tomorrow comes who will be there,
When tomorrow comes who will care,
Who will not, is what I fear,
Who will not, what brings me tears,
I lay upon my bed in sorrow,
Thinking of what may come tomorrow,
Who can tell by what they say,
It may be you they hurt someday,
You trust them with your privite thoughts,
You hope and pray you won't get caught,
These ones that you have called your friends,
They'll turn there heads through all the bends,
What happens to this strong linked chain,
The end will come, along with pain,
Why will this be happening to you,
you've been there 4 them so long, so true,
How could this happen in just one night,
It's all because of that stupid fight,
All the memories, all the good times,
Will have been drown in an ocean of crimes,
I'll sink deeper into my world of sadness,
All because those words of madness,
Everything will turn up lies,
I'll break down, and then I'll cry,
When tomorrow comes, who will be there,
When tomorrow comes, who will care.
(this next one isn't about me)

Father and Son

What's going on, I don't understand,
I am so scared, will you hold my hand,
Our clasp gets stronger with every breath,
With painful, lingering thoughts of death,
My heart beats like a million bands,
He holds our fate within his hands,
Why is all this happening to me,
Why can't this young man just see,
I hear a loud bang, and close my eyes
And shrieks of terror start to arise,
I open my eyes and look all around,
There's a big pool of blood on the ground,
I look into the shooters face,
What is he doing inside this place,
The others drop onto there knees,
They pray to God, please oh please,
He realizes what he has done,
He's ruined his life, by killing his son,
He didn't know he was there that night,
His heart aches from the terrible sight,
He raises his gun to his chest,
Father and son lay forever to rest.

Alone

I could tell by the way he asked me,
At least from what I could see,
By the way he danced with me,
That it would never be,
His hands rested on my back and didn't move at all,
That whole time I was happy, he stared at the wall,
When the music came to an end, he stopped and walked away,
I finally realized what I had known, and that was apart we'd stay.

Untitled

It's such a relief that this is done,
out of all my friends you're the one,
I can talk to when I'm upset,
You're the one I won't forget,
You're always there to make me smile,
You've been there for me all the while,
It's true that friendship is hard to find,
Without you I'd surely lose my mind,
You've kept me together through the hard days,
You'll be my best friend 4 always,
You'll never know how much you've helped me,
You've made the anwsers clear to see,
You know me better than I ever will,
And when we die, we'll be friends still.

untitled for now

What the hell is wrong with me,
I can't do anything right,
It doesn't matter what I do,
I cause a stupid fight,
I don't mean to do these things,
I wish you would have spoken up,
Then maybe my lame ass mind,
Would have gone and woke up,
Well it doesn't matter anymore,
My heart has sunken to the floor,
Link by link or chain is breaking,
Faster then the ones we're making,
I feel as if you're falling away,
Maybe you would want it that way.

Searching 4 my rainbow

The rainbow comes after the rain,
Happiness shows, and ceases pain,
The sun shines, and puddles glisten,
Someone finally decides to listen,
But the rainbow cannot stay all day,
And happiness tends to fade away,
But with a promise to return,
HOW, I have yet to learn.

I'm Here

You don’t need it all,
And it’s okay to fall,
Just know that I’m here,
And don’t give in to fear,
Things will be okay,
Just wait another day,
Give it some time,
It’s like a flip of a dime,
Things change so fast,
And the bad times will pass,
Don’t throw life away,
Things will get better some day.

Don't

Don’t wipe the tear from my eye,
When you’re the one who makes me cry,
You make me feel like I wanna die,
And all that you can say is why,
What are you trying to imply,
Don’t turn around and says it’s a lie,
You act like you’ve been standing by,
But when ask you don’t reply.

Ache

(Published)

We play on knives,
Smooth and sleek,
The cry of light,
Smells so sweet,
One by one,
The rocks do fall,
We go frantic,
Behind the wall,
The beads of rain,
Drip off the rose,
The ache of beauty,
Appears to those.
True pain burns,
Shadows to sweet,
Whispers through the sky,
The knife kisses my feet.

Inside

One dark day I had a thought,
If only feelings could be bought,
I’d get rid of this sharp rock inside,
And trade it for some wonderful pride,
With a big bountiful source,
And lots of happiness of course,
If only we could decide,
What’s going on inside.

What If

What if no one was watching,
Would we still be what we are,
What if no one cared,
I wish that weren’t so far,
What if I were to kiss you,
Would you back away,
Well I don’t know,
I’ll wait for another day,
I see you look at me,
But what does that mean,
I could always read peoples eyes,
But yours I’ve never seen.

Help me understand

Why is it so hard for me,
To understand how you feel,
I wanted this to be special,
But I don’t know how to deal,
I don’t know what you’re going through,
And I don’t know what’s real,
Maybe next time I’ll fuck up,
And see how you’re gonna feel,
Someone help me understand,
This stupid thing that life has planned,
When he comes and looks my way,
What am I supposed to say.

Trust

How can you expect me,
To tell you how I feel,
When I ask the same thing,
It's like nothing is for real,
I thought we had a friendship,
So stop telling me these lies,
I can see to your heart,
Through your bloodshot eyes,
Your face is like an open book,
But seen through weary eyes,
I try harder every time I look,
But I've been there too many times.

What about you

I'm glad I got this off my chest,
But was my decision for the best,
I needed to do this for me,
But I wonder if you see what I see,
Now I think, what about you,
What have I been putting you through,
But you don't understand my pain,
It feels as if I'm going insane,
I'm glad you don't see the world as I do,
For it would be a terrible view.

Love's Cry

Things were said,
We had our fun,
But sadness called,
And now it's done,
One small word,
And things went wrong,
My poor friend,
And his sad sad song,
He sings it daily in my ear,
I tell him he has nothing to fear,
But I know I speak a lie,
For love itself has got to cry.

Tears

Let the tears fall like rain,
And wash away all your pain,
Hopes have set like the sun,
But happiness has just begun,
So fast it tends to slip away,
So hold on tight and don't you say,
Those words that we all do fear,
That pulls so hard on that first tear.

How

The feeling that I have inside,
Is something I don't want to hide,
Rather I am afraid to lose,
So it's up to you to choose,
I'm scared I'll grow to attached,
It's going to be a rough patch,
I don't know if we'll make it through,
But I'm willing to give it a try for you.

Breathe

Take a deep breath,
You’ll pull through,
Don’t set your mind on death,
It’s too hard to do,
Know that we all love you,
And we always will,
Know that we all care for you,
You’ve got your whole life still,
Things will always get better,
You’ve got to understand,
Know that if you have to,
You can reach for my hand.

Drugs

Don’t turn to drugs so quickly,
They’ll fuck with your head,
And leave you with false happiness,
Until you realize you’re dead,
You’re holding on by a string,
Don’t let them win so soon,
You think you’ve already lost,
But you’re sidetracked by the moon,
Don’t fall into their shadows,
It’s not a reality,
Not everyone is perfect,
So don’t feel you have to be.

Just be

I’m not another face in the crowd,
I want to live my life out loud,
I don’t want to be like all of you,
You have your own emotions too,
Not everyone can be the same,
Life is not a matching game,
Don’t be afraid of who you are,
If everyone was we wouldn’t get far.

Girl Stay Grounded

Caught between heart and mind,
The answers are so hard to find,
For love is pure and feels so right,
But can’t be won without a fight,
Girl stay grounded I tell myself,
I can’t live with only my health,
One’s so practical but it’s not right,
He’s not the one I want tonight,
But the other’s so far from me,
If only this one could see.

Let’s just say

Say you saw me walk away,
Say you saw me turn to grey,
Say you wanted me with you,
Say you think love is true,
Do you know how’d it’d feel,
Maybe love is not for real,
I’ve never held on to the though,
I can’t remember being caught,
In this game that you call love,
That’s carried on the wings of one rare dove.

My Story

You’re typical,
And I’m jaded,
You asked me,
And I have waited,
You wouldn’t show,
You don’t belong,
You think you fit,
But I’m not wrong,
It is my story,
And my ending,
With no more breaks,
And no bending,
You once had left,
I thought I lost,
But it was my,
Fine line you crossed.

One

I was one girl, one time, with one way out,
And why you ask was it so hard,
It was hard because I felt your false pity,
I’m sorry, I don’t want your sympathy card,
I find one comfort, one life, and one source of light,
You don’t need to pretend to care,
I know who you are,
You’d rather me not share,
I have on poem, one song, and one savior,
I find relief in what I write,
I know you find it hard to believe,
But you aren’t part of this fight.

Sad Eyes

Your sad eyes,
All full of tears,
Telling me all your fears,
They tell a story,
Of all your pain,
While all the world,
Is screaming in vain,
Lost inside a,
world so dark,
Like a tree,
Without it’s bark,
And all I can do,
Is wait and see,
If one day you’ll,
Come back to me.

Untitled

The clouds have finally moved away,
And I’ve said good-bye to the rainy day,
The pain I thought would never leave,
I got the help I prayed to receive,
By thinking and letting it all out,
By talking about what I needed to talk about,
In my own little way,
And letting the good things stay,
I found a simple remedy,
And now all I am is plain old me,
Of course there’s always a bad day,
But at least I have found a way,
Not to forget, but to let go,
And I thank God that he willed it so.

Circus

There's nothing up my sleeve,
This isn't magic,
It's far from it,
Or else I'd have it,
There are no secrets,
No hidden mirrors,
There's nothing left,
To hide my fears,
I'm scared to be here,
I'm scared to be gone,
Why won't you listen,
There is something wrong,
Open your eyes,
And look around,
There are no stupid,
Circus clowns,
Nothing left,
Of my mask,
I don't have the answers,
So don't bother to ask.

Scared

I'm looking for a refuge,
A place to stay warm,
But I just can't find the words,
And I just can't find the form,
I'm chasing shadows,
That don't want to be caught,
The remainder of that vivid line,
That terrifying spot,
I'm trapped inside,
A place so cold,
They're tired of all the pain,
And they're afraid of growing old,
So I'll crawl back under the rock,
From which I grew to be,
Waiting for the rest of the world,
To come along with me.

Sweet Dreams

Sweet dreams to all the fighting,
Sweet dreams to all the mess,
Sweet dreams to having the feeling,
That I am worth much less,

Sweet dreams to summer side walks,
Sweet dreams to silent nights,
Sweet dreams to all my good friends,
Enjoy the city lights,

Sweet dreams to all the saddness,
Sweet dreams to sunlite beams,
Sweet dreams to the insanity,
Sweet dreams to all sweet dreams.

Stray

Endulging in the satifaction of a doubt,
Someone please tell me what this is all about,
Stray winners do lose,
And losers do stray,
But let them do it,
In they're own little way,
They tell me this is all,
Just a big game,
Then why are we the ones,
Taking all the blame,
You shove us up front,
And aside, and behind,
Why won't you all just make up your mind,
We're here, we're there,
We're nothing, we're gone,
As long as we dont,
Show up at dawn.

The Beauty of You

Who do I tell,
Where do I hide,
Lost inside a happiness,
In which I cannot confide,
I've brought my walls down for you,
In hopes that what,
We have is true,
I'm beginning to fall,
In to waters so deep,
As I see the beauty of your,
Soul lay there as you sleep.

It's ok

I love you so much,
And friendship is fine,
But I wish you'd be there,
To walk me down that line,
I look into your eyes,
And I see the stars,
I look into your heart,
And I see the scars,
I know that this is hard on you,
You're going through what I'm going through,
I'm here for you forever hun,
No matter if I'm not the one,
No matter if I fall to tears,
Knee deep in a world of fears,
Someday we'll put behind the pain,
And the angels will begin to sing again.

Change

The sun's not looking,
So bright anymore,
The moon's not as beautiful,
As it was before,
The door in which you stood,
Was slammed in my face,
And you are with her,
While I'm stuck in the same place,
The rose is wilting,
The last peddle did fall,
The birds have bid,
A goodnight to you all.

Awake and Thinking

I lay awake in bed at night,
Staring at my ceiling,
Thoughts of you fill my head,
Are you feeling what I'm feeling,
I'm lost without you by my side,
You're the fire that keeps me warm,
My heart you hold in your palm,
My heart that has been torn,
Without you I am nothing,
Please don't leave so soon,
I love you too much to let you go,
You're my sun, you're my moon.

Love?

What is love,
Does anyone know,
If you do,
Please tell me so,
Does it last forever,
Does it ever end,
In order to get it,
Must we bend,
Why does it seem,
To hurt so bad,
The wonderful feeling,
That leaves to make you sad,
Is love fear,
Is love lost,
Will love prevail,
Without a cost?

Mind vs Heart

Right now I feel the need,
To put my pen to paper,
To let out all these thoughts,
To do my mind a favor,
In a fight with my heart,
My mind has grown much stronger,
I cannot fall asleep,
Will this go on much longer,
My fear of losing you,
Has ceased with the hope you gave,
I wish I could be with you,
But for you a hug I'll save.

Why?

Why won't the pain,
In this world go away,
Why must it go on,
Day after day,
To lose love, to lose life,
To lose all that matters,
To watch it all disappear,
As it falls and shatters,
It seems as though,
The good things don't stay,
Why must the world,
Go on this way?

Dream

I wonder what comes next,
As I lay awake in bed,
The sounds of silent screams,
Are pounding in my head,
Pain fills my tired mind,
Like water fills a glass,
When will this sleepless state,
Ever decide to pass,
I rub my eyes in exhaustion,
But cannot fall asleep,
Like an old man climbing up a hill,
Which is much to steep,
Fill my mind with dreams,
Of happier times than now,
Put me back into that place,
Someone please show me how.

Meant to be

It's the last stop
Here is where I get off
This is my grand exit
I'm ready to dance among the stars
With every word in motion
And everybody free
This is where I am
Where I'm meant be
With a single word spoken
But not spoken to me
This is what I’ve wanted
I know you all can see
So love don’t judge
Don’t judge me
Because this is where I’m happy
Where I’m meant to be

I wrote this very late at night

Ok well I think it’s for the best,
Because my mind’s a little twisted,
And I laugh because they turn away,
And pretend that they all missed it,
It’s funny how they act like monkeys,
Swinging from side to side,
Never realizing that we’re all watching,
With cameras and the T.V guide,
Remotes, demotes, fucking big boats,
Keep em’ all in line,
With a bunch of those goddam racers,
All racing, for what? More time?
Ok well you think I’m fucked up,
Who the hell are you to say,
I think you’re pretty fucked up too,
Thank ya and have a great day,
Hey you got my shoes all dirty,
Oh did I, weird how shit happens eh,
What? You don’t find it that funny?
Sorry, what more do you want me to say?
Yeah I may seem a little harsh,
But that’s what you loved about me,
Never stepping back and looking,
At what they call reality,
Right? So why are you so mad,
Why do you care so damn much?
I’m not the one you wanted here,
I’m not the one that you touch,
I’ve got all these unspeakable thoughts,
So why do I feel that I should share,
You don’t give a shit about me, and myself,
And why should you pretend to care,
Oh that’s right, you’re fake and perfect,
Excuse me, I must have forgot,
All those stupid padded rooms,
Must have been filled up with pot

Fairytale

I’m just a fairytale
That someone else thought up
The damsel in distress with two swords in her dress,
And tears that cry only to please her prince
Who she never wanted to need
But the truth lies in the corner of your dark room
Where you found me curled up and crying,
For you
And in your inaudible attempts
To reach for me
Reach out to me
Reach me
You made it clear
That I’m not who I am to you
Or who I thought I was to you
But rather a mere glimpse
Of who you wanted me to be
Someone I’ll never be
Don’t want to be
Couldn’t be
In a sickening way I’m sorry
I can’t be her anymore
The mirror image of myself
Who isn’t me at all
That little girl who needs you
To catch her when she falls
So now here I am,
This is me,
As frightening as it seems
The little girl who’s not so little anymore
Who wants not to cry
Not for you
Not anymore

Too bad

so I guess this is it
I guess this is goodbye
I can only hope to look
upon you one last time
two roads diverged in a yellow
wood.. and you didn't choose mine..
But that's all we can ask for,
all we really need..
a choice, an action, a decision
all we need to leave..
all the reason in the world not to go
It's just too bad, I guess,
that it's a decision to be made..
forced to choose between solid and water..
one you can hold in your hand,
the other in your arms
but it's never the same,
not without you

Smoke and Rain

The man in the smoking section,
Isn't a teacher.
He just likes the smell of smoke and rain
He's out to get us,
To steal a half hour of our time
And they listen to him inside,
I guess he's repected there.
But here, he just likes the smell,
Everyday, the same ugly jacket and cold eyes,
And he probably smokes himself,...hypocrite!
He doesn't care enough to know our names,
Just writes them down,
And passes them on,
The man in the smoking section
Isn't a teacher,
He just likes the smell of smoke and rain

360 degrees

Failed dreams
and broken hearts
What more can be asked of us
When the world has done a complete 360
The second we closed our eyes
Where did we go wrong
Maybe we went wrong when we
Took a breath of air, looked around
and walked away
and we forgot
But it's ok because air is packaged
everything is nowadays
That or tied in a pretty pink bow
so that we remeber to forget
Learn how not to care
But it's not our fault
it never is
Because air is packaged and everything is ok
as long as there's a pretty pink bow
tied around it
Where did we go wrong?
Where didn't we

Banter

Books and movies and things
Speak of people who slip away
We'll laugh or cry or pity these people
But it stops when you're done
Just like everything stops after a while
It makes me wonder if anyone is ever real
Or do they just cry to show they have feelings
Or laugh to prove their knowledge
Or maybe they just have nothing better to do
People speak of things like they know it all
They speak of Gods like they go way back
Drinking buddies in high school maybe
But maybe we're the movies
After all, what inspires the writer
We laugh at the stupidity of a character
Or yell at the screen because they're wrong
But when the TV's off and the story's still on
Who are the actors, and who's watching

When You Go (song)

(chorus)
when the time comes and you're ready to go
leave your key on the floor
you know nothing i didn't already know
take your plans as you leave
and go... go on
no one needs a worn out goodbye
go on... go

ignorance is bliss
you're as blissful as they come
barrell full of monkeys
and broken mistletoe
can you hear me screaming behind the silence
clench your teeth and wait for the rain
the train is coming
if you're not on it you're underneath
dont leave your albums
songs empty in content
suit you too well to forget

(chorus)
when the time comes and you're ready to go
leave your key on the floor
you know nothing i didn't already know
take your plans as you leave
and go... go on
no one needs a worn out goodbye
go on... go

time is well wasted
upon a first impression
left your impression on my couch
scent on my pillow
nothing more, nothing less
no one wants what to know
where we fucked up in life
what the rain smells like around a dying fire
it's all hopeless on arrival
strain to recall the sound of you leaving

the song you sang under your breath

(chorus)
when the time comes and you're ready to go
leave your key on the floor
you know nothing i didn't already know
take your plans as you leave
and go... go on
no one needs a worn out goodbye
go on... go

twist and turn on the cold mattress of the hotel
spend your last night alone
wrap your fears around the stained bedsheets
leave your inhibitions on the nightstand
no one cares where you're from
as long as you're leaving
take your tickets in style
lose your faith for a memory
days that never occurred
words you never spoke
whats the worth of it all anyhow

(chorus)
when the time comes and you're ready to go
leave your key on the floor
you know nothing i didn't already know
take your plans as you leave
and go... go on
no one needs a worn out goodbye
go on... go

thoughts are wasted on you
forget the card you gave
i dare you to smile
put down the bag you packed last month
you know that silence is lethal behind broken intentions
incessantly falling for the masquarade
can you even remember how real felt
two stamps and return to sender
fall for it again... again
and where did you go wrong...
cage up the disaster and run

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I'll add more poems later, thanks for reading!