Tugger: (staring at the by line) Memorable?
Veroni: Kel was the one who reminded me that this thing needed to be finished.
Skimble: I must remember to thank her later. In private....
Misto: Better be careful about that. Ever since that Doyle guy died on 'Angel' and she had to kill you off in my fic she's
been awful happy to see you. Reguardless of your.. shall we say, 'mood'?
Veroni: Hustle up! True it's been what, four months since we left off?
Cori: But who's counting?
Veroni: Kel, apparently.
As the curtain rises on Act 2, there is a cry in the street.
"MURDERER!!" a woman kneeled over a bloody body laying in the street. Two guesses who made the mess.
With that lovely opening, we go straight into a song titled, (you guessed it!) "MURDER! MURDER!"
Cori: Oh, how original.
Pouncival: (races out into the street singing)
Look at this! Another murder!
Pounce: Another?
Veroni: I skipped a verse, alright? It was gettin' kinda gorey!
Misto: Unlike Kel, V here has a weak stomach.
Veroni: Are we going to keep comparing me with my sister or are we gonna get something parodied here?
Pounce:
Just like that other Murder! (Which we didn't sing about, but---)
Veroni: Ahem!?
Pounce:
That poor old General Gussop! DEAD!
Tumble:
That's two in the last four days!
This killer has fancy ways!
Jelly:
To kill outside St. Paul's
Requires a lot of balls!
Jelly: Is that even a PG-rated term to use?
Veroni: Oh. My bad. (scribbles on the page) Sing this.
Jelly: Well, it's a little late now, doncha think?
Veroni: Just sing it and we'll breeze by as if that never happened.
Jelly:
To kill the Bishop goy
Is less than Kosher. Oi!
Jemi: You really can't parody lyrics can you?
Veroni: Just KEEP GOING!
Cori:
He hates the upper class!
Mungo:
'E must be on 'is arse!
Jelly: Another un-Kosher moment.
Veroni: You can't tell that he was swearing through all that cockney! That's the beauty of it! By the by Mungo, did you
teach the others cockney like I asked for this number?
Misto: 'E most coitenly did.
Veroni: I'm beginning to wish I hadn't asked him to.
Misto: Wot's wrong wid it, guvnah?
Veroni: AURGH!
Cats:
Murder! Murder!
Once there's one done!
Murder! Murder!
Can't be undone!
Murder! Murder!
Lives in London!
Bloody Murder in the night!
IN THE NIGHT!
The crowd bows and breaks up to go about being paranoid turn-of-the-century folks again. During this *extra long!* musical interlude, Hide returned to the laboratory and injected himself to become Jellicle once more.
Bomb: That is one creepy little hobby you have there, Skimble.
Jenny: SHUT IT! And let me sing..
Oh yeah! Jennyemma was waiting for him, so that she could sing her one big number of the show. He transforms before she can see and she starts singing to sooth his agitated mind.
Jenny:
Once upon a dream
I believed I would escape
Singing in this wretched state
Once upon a dream.
Once there was a time
I allowed myself to think
She'd forgotten she'd started this disgrace
What an idiot I've been.
Veroni: Never mind! UGH! I need a break! Cats these days... (walks away from the keyboard and the
Cats begin to concieve leaving, when DA-DA-DA-DA! Kelonzi happens by and picks up where Veroni left off)
Kel: Hey guys! Cool! Jekyll and Hyde!
Misto: Kel, you really don't have to..
Kel: Oh yes I do! If I start now, maybe I can make this into a better fic by the end!
Jenny: Very little chance of that happening.
So... Dr. Jellicle dismisses his Lovely Bride-to-Be so that she can gripe about being called back to finish this show elsewhere, and he can do some deep thinking. After the lastest rampage of killings by his alter-ego, he comes to the estute conclusion that the experiment is completely out of control.
Skimble:
Am I the cat who I appear to be?
Or am I someone I don't know?
I fear some monster drawing near to me
Becoming clear to see.
Will what I fear to be...
Be so?
The good Doctor's struggle against Hide has driven him to quite the pill habit, so he calls in Tuggerson to go fetch some more pills. Without them, he knows that Hide will completely take him over.
Jemi: Not to complain, Kel, but this is turning into a majorly depressing fic.
Kel: Probably the most unlikely topic for a musical, I admit. But it's kinda entertaining anyhoo isn't it?
Jemi: A sick, twisted one-guy-is-really-two sorta entertainment?
Kel: YEAH!
Jemi: I don't think 'no' is a strong enough word?
Meantime, our two female leads have taken the time to get all turned around for their separate, but equally confusing loves for the same man, (while you weren't looking, we created a love triangle! Wasn't that conciderate of us?) They think a little, cry a little, and what else? Sing a little...
Cetera:
Love is worth forgiving for!
Now I realize!
Jenny:
Now I realize!
Both:
Everything worth living for
Is there in his EEEEEEEEE-IIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYY-EEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!
Munku: Wow. Whopping case of Long Note-itis.
Cet is back at her bar where she does that dancing thing, (remember?) and begins to imagine a perfect life with Dr. Jellicle, only to remember that small technicality that he's engaged and all. As she slips deeper and deeper into depression over never having her storybook life she wanted as a kitten, she sings an equally heart-breaking song with her fellow bar-lurker, Cassandra.
Cassie: (being dragged into the picture) NO! You can't make me do this!
Kel: Sing or I'll....(runs her finger across her throat)
Cass: You'll run your finger across your throat?
Kel: Never mind.
Cass and Cet:
Ask me to share your fantasies, dear.
But don't ask me where tomorrow is!
Don't ask me where to find happiness
Though I know for sure where sorrow is!
Cass:
Sorrow is where this fic meets the light
Cet:
Someday when it ends I will take flight!
Both:
Joy comes when this fic fades from sight
For the Queens of the night!
The Queens of the night!
Just the queens of the night!
Munku: And the depression parade marches merrilly onward...
Just when things couldn't get more dark and gloomy, Hide appears, (guess the good Doc didn't get his pills in time, eh?) and Cet finds herself, (surprise, surprise) attracted to him.
Cet: With that greasy wig? Puh-lease!
Kel: Hey! It's in the synopsis!
Lec: Talk about throwing yourself at the first guy to come along.
They sing, but since this song REALLY isn't covered by PG ratings and this fic is starting to turn into SongFest 99 as it is, we'll say Hide plays with Cety's mind about never having a life with his other half for a little while and move on, 'k?
Back at the lab, Tuggerson returns with the drugs, only to be confronted by Hide, who is returning from his all in fun torment session with Cet.
"Give me the drugs!" Hide hissed and made a grab for the paper bag.
"I can only give it to Dr. Jellicle!" Tuggerson whimpered nervously.
Tugger: S'cuse me, but I do not 'whimper'!
Kel: In this fic you do!
Trapped, Hide is forced to change into Jellicle infront of Tuggerson's eyes in order to convince his friend that it is safe to give him the drugs. Tuggerson is shocked beyond all belief.
"Oh, no. It cannot be. You are Hide." Tuggerson said flatly.
Kel: What part of shocked beyond belief don't you understand?
Tugger: Consider it payback for the whimpering stuff.
"I want you to take this letter to Cet. Have her leave immediately. No time to explain. I am dangerous." Skimble begged his friend to do as he asked.
Tuggerson takes the letter to Cet's hangout and leaves her to figure out her next move. In an extreme state of dispair over never having Dr. Jellicle now, Cet sings the trademark song of this show.
Misto: Something we should all do when we feel depressed beyond all measure...
Jenny: Sing a trademark song?
Misto: Dang straight.
Cet:
A new life!
More and more I'm sure as I go through life,
Just to play the game and to pursue life!
Just to share it's pleasures and belong!
That's what I've been here for all along!
Each day's a br-AND
NEEEEEEEEEW
LI-IIIIIIII-IIIIIII-IIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cori: Long hooked cane crew on stand-by!
Kel: Nah. I've got a better idea!
Vicky: Whenever she says that, I am instantly filled with unspeakable horror.
Cet dies from trying to croak out the last note minus oxygen, and we, as a stunned audience is required to do-- gape in horror.
Skimble: I was supposed to kill her!
Kel: I saved you the trouble. AND the icky blood stuff..
Skimble: Aww.. that's the best part!
Kel: Morbid much? You are really sickening right now.
Skimble: The role must be rubbing off on me.
Kel: Oh yeah? How about I rub my fist off on your----
Jenny: Ah-ah-ah! Violence is never the answer!
Kel: Drat.
Okay... now that we are QUITE far off the beaten track, we'll say that the unfortunate death-by-longnote has driven Jellicle into the very pit of despair because if Hide hadn't tormented Cet, she would have never had to sing a really angst-ey song and died trying to hit that last note that no *normal* singer can hit. As he mourns, Hide wells up inside him and the two engage in a bitter struggle for supremacy.
Skimble: Uno momento, mon frere.
Bomb: Mon frere' means brother.
Skimble: Mon girl-frere. I can't be both at the same time! It'll kill me!
Cet: And I know how that can be.
Kel: Just start singing and we'll see how it turns out.
Skimble: I hear impending doom for this song.
Skimble: (as Hide)
Hide is here to stay
No matter what you may you pretend
And he'll flourish long after you're gone!
Skimble: (spins quickly and rips off the wig--- Jellicle)
Can't you see? It's over now!
It's time to die!
Skimble: (as Hide once more)
No not I! Only YOU!
Skimble: (gettin' pretty pooped--- Jellicle)
If I die, YOU die too!
Skimble: (Hide-- really dragging now)
You'll die in me! I'll be you!
Skimble: (as Jellicle--- what's one step away from a corpse look like?)
NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Deep inside (*gasp*)
Skimble: (wearing the WRONG part of his costume! psst.. You're Hide now!)
I am y-- THROUGH!!
Skimble: And I MEAN it! How on Earth can anyone do this? BOTH parts? I bet there's a duet in there
too....
Kel: Actually, no.
Tugger: That was good, Skimble.. good so that we could point---
Jemi: --and Mock---
Misto: And laugh... at.
Kel: Fine... dump the rest of this song and let's move on to the wedding scene, shall we?
Pounce: Aka-- the bummer of all bummer endings.
Kel: I recall something I once said.. I am TRYING to have a plot here!
After this great inner-conflict thinggy, Jellicle comes to the conclusion that he has finally defeated Hide and goes to get married after all.
Bomb: Although if I were Jenny, I would seriously consider this first. Do I really want to wake up next to
a guy who could turn into a homicidal maniac at a moment's notice?
Kel: Plot? We're nearly done here and you're dangerously close to destroying the big bang of an ending!!
So they go and get hitched, and (are you shocked yet?) Hide appears to wreck things.
Jenny: Um.. ew? I mean!
(starts singing)
Hairy... let me go!
Overcoming Hide's evil influence, Jellicle runs to his friend Tuggerson, who is at the 'happy' occasion and begs him to put him out of his misery. Feeling guilty, but knowing that killing Jellicle is the only way to end this insanity, Tuggerson shoots him, dead.
Skimble: Jenny?
Jenny: Rest now... my tormented love.
Bomb: So that's it? Cet dies... Jellicle dies... a whole bunch of nameless background cats die and then
you just type THE END?
Veroni: That's why I left.
Kel: You're back!
Veroni: I was just gonna let this thing die, but you finished it, Kel? I pity you.
Kel: I love this show!! Okay, so maybe the ending is a bit in the way of sickly depressing and kinda leaves you hanging.
Alright, so maybe our main character never really learns anything.... Okay, so Cet lives and dies in a horrid state.... you
know? I think the only reason I like this show is the music and the scary edge of one guy turning into two.
Tugger: I gotta go find pills.
Lec: THE pills?
Tugger: Not them! You know, depression ones? Prozac? Sheesh.... (stomps off)
Cet: (walks up behind Lec) Gutter brain.
Veroni: OH! You guys don't go too far! I still plan to finish "Furball" today!
Misto: MAKE A BREAK FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
