Veroni: Are we ready for more now?

Gus: Four?

Veroni: DON'T get them started on the numbers, Gus!

Misto: I thought that hearing aid had been helping. Hmmm... (waves his paws and levitates the hearing aid to his paws so he can check the battery).

Tugger: You could have just ASKED him if you could look at it for a moment.

Misto: But where would the fun have been in that?

(When we last left off, Skimbly and Julie had sung the show's most memorable tune. To show how fast things can move in the parody world, we rejoin the action with our two love birds having been married for a while now and currently residing with Julie's cousin Grizetti. While Julie is content to be married and looking foreward to settling down with children and everything, Skimbly is meloncholy and depressed because he's out of work.)

Pounce: Depressed? I'd be GLAD to be out of work!!

Veroni: We know about you and work Pounce.

Jem: Pouncival working.... hmm. Sounds like one of those oxymorons.

Pounce: HEY! She called me a moron!

Veroni: AURGH! Just never mind!! Uhm, Griz? Don't you have a song to sing now or something?

Griz: That's not until they talk about---

Veroni: SING!

Griz: OH! Gotcha. (gets into character) March went out like a lion.

A-pickin' up the water in the Bay.

Then April cried and stepped aside

And along came pretty little May.

May was full of promises,

But she didn't keep 'em quick enough for some.

And a crowd of doubtin' Thomases

Jemi: PFFFFT. More like doubtin' Pouncivals.

Pounce: I'll just save you time V, and contain my indignant "HEY!" for later.

Griz: EXCUSE me!!!! (back in character) Was predictin' that the summer'd never come!

Sailors (Pounce, Tumble, Asparagus Jr., Quaxo, Plato and Admetus):

But it's comin' by gum! Y'ken feel it come!

Y'ken feel it in your heart! Y'ken see it in the ground!

Girls: (Bombalurina, Electra, Victoria, Etcetera, Jemima and Tantomile)

Y'ken hear it in the trees! Y'ken smell it in the breeze!

All: Look around!

Look around!

Look around!

Griz: (steps out in an elaborate sequined gown from "Anything Meows") Brothers and sisters! We are HERE tonight to fight the devil!

Veroni: I thought she was past the insane thing...

Jem: I don't think this is insanity. I think this is improvising.

Veroni: Well, whatever lable you put on it, it's NOT in Carousel!!!

Griz: Directors these days! (leaves and comes back in the correct outfit) As if a little improvising would kill you.

June is bustin' out all o-over!

All over the meader and the hill

Flowers bustin' out on bushes

And the roughen river pushes

Ev'ry little wheel that wheels beside the mill

All: June is bustin' out all o-over!

The ocean is full of Jacks and Jills

With the little tail is swishing'

Ev'ry lady fish is wishin' that a male would come

And grab 'er by the gills

Because it's June... June, June, June

Just because it's June, June, June!

Pounce: And I bet you're glad you're writing this in June, huh V?

Veroni: Actually, I hadn't even thought about it, but it DOES stop some of your witty side comments.

Pounce: Yeah. (gets nostalgic) What I could have done if you'd written this, in say.... October?

Veroni: Oh no. Here we go again.

Pounce: I can see everyone stumbling on the lyrics with "October is bustin' out all over"..... (sighs happilly)

Veroni: Uh.... okay, scary. Back to the parody.... AND FAST!

(There's more song, but since I kinda wanna keep Pounce's comments at bay---)

Cats: WATER!!! ACK!!!!

(NOT THAT KIND OF BAY---- oh well. Anyhow, they're all preparing for the annual clam bake to be held that evening. While the preparations continue on around them, Julie and Demarrie discuss their married lives. While Demarrie is excited about settling down with Misto Snow, Julie reveals about her depressed husband who has even struck her.)

Jenny: HE HIT JELLY??? LEMME AT HIM!!!!!

Veroni: Rumpus Cat? Hold her down!

Skimble: Hiding now.

(Demarrie feels sorry for her friend, but is soon wrapped up in thoughts of HER married life and a prosperous one it will be in the sardine biz.)

Cats: PFFT!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Dem: (grumbling)

Misto: (singing grandly, flailing his arms around) When the kittens are asleep we sit and dream

The things that every other dad and mother dream

When the kittens are asleep and lights are low

If I still love you the way I love you today

You'll pardon my sayin', I told you so...

When the kittens are asleep, I'll dream with you

We think what fun we have had and be glad

That it's all come true

Dem: When the kittens are asleep we sit and dream

Misto: Dream all alone...

Dem: The things that every other dad and mother dream

Misto: Dreams that won't be interrupted... When the children are asleep and lights are low

Jenny: (tied to the couch, being watched closely by the Great Rumpus Cat) Alright. I've had as much as I can take of you two. Take advice from a queen who's LIFE has been nothing but raising kittens. When the kittens are asleep, YOU SLEEP TOO! You have NO time for those lovely romantic things you're blabbing on about! You're WAAAAAY to tired for it, my dears!

Tugger: Ooooh. Something crawled up Jenny's---

Veroni: DON'T say it.

(Some rowdy whalers come ashore and get into a brawl on the docks all the while singing a jaunty little sea-faring ditty.)

Macavity: The cats who live on land

Are hard to understand

When you're lookin' for fun,

They clap ya into jail!

Jemi: They probably know your track record Mac.

Bomb: Not to mention your definition of fun...

Toms: (jump in) BLOW HIGH! BLOW LOW!

A whalin' we will go!

We'll go a-whalin', a sailin' away!

Away we'll go! Blow me high and low!

For many a-many a-long, long day!

For many, a-many a long, long day!

Dem: Stopping this now.

Veroni: Uhm, do tell me why.

Dem: This song has the sound of a big time drinkin' song.

Bomb: Encourages testosterone driven-males.

Pounce: (runs across with a pair of boxer shorts on his head, a plastic hook on one paw, and a patch over one eye) ARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! AHOY MATEYS!!!!

Dem: Coupled with the fact that Pounce was one of the sailors.

(One of the sailors approaches Skimbly about helping him pull off a robbery. He is the infinitely sleezy Tigger.)

Tugger: OKAY! HOLD UP!!!

Veroni: Yeah?

Tugger: TIGGER?

Veroni: The character's name is Jigger.

Tugger: TIGGER?

Pounce: I laugh at your misfortune.

Tumble: And chortle.

Admetus: And guffaw.

Tugger: Alright! I'll play him. But I swear, if I start bouncing on my tail and going "Whoo-Hoo!" someone's gonna get it.

(Skimbly refuses and leaves Tigger to return to Julie. She has a bit of news for him though... she's pregnant. This prompts him to go take a long walk down by the seashore.....)

Skimble: Or our lovely kiddy pool ductape number.

Veroni: I need some waves here.

Tanti: (who's the techie for this one) I'm not putting my paws in there to stir the water up!

Veroni: Well, someone has to!

(LOOOOOOONG silence)

Veroni: FINE! I'LL do it! (stomps over and places paws in the water) Now start singing Skimble! (shivvers a little)

Cats: Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat!

The cat of the railway train!

There's a whisper down the line

At eleven thirty-nine---

Veroni: Start singing, Skimble. NOT start singing "Skimble".

Skimble: I wonder what he'll think of me.

I guess he'll call me the old tom.

I guess he'll think I can lick any other feller's father

Well I can!

I bet he'll turn out to be the spittin' image of his dad

Pounce: **hock** Ptewey

Jemi: Eeeeew!

Pounce: Well, he said spittin'!

Skimble: (rolls eyes and continues) But he'll have more common sense

Than his puddin' headed father ever had!

I'll teach him to wrestle

And dive through a wave

(Veroni makes big splashing waves and Skimble inches back from the edge of the water.)

Skimble: When we go in the mornin's for our swim

His mother can teach him the way to behave

But she won't make a sissy out o' him

Not him! Not my kit!

Not Bill!

Bill--

Bill Bailey: Alright already! I'm here!

Veroni: Here's an old and tired joke come back to haunt us.... "NOT YOU BILL!"

Skimble: I will see that he is named after me, I will.

My boy, Bill! He'll be tall and tough as a tree, will Bill!

Like a tree he'll grow with his head held high

And his feet planted firm on the ground

And you won't see nobody dare to try

To boss or toss him around!

No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully'll toss him around

Dem: Hear that Macavity??

Mac: (grins wickedly and hits a pot across the stage with his tail, making it clatter loudly)

Dem: MACAVITY!!!!! (pauses) Hey! You tricked me!

Mac: (grins from ear to ear)

Skimble: (getting really nervous as the "tide" starts to roll in) Uhmm... I don't give a hang what he does

As long as he does what he likes!

He can sit on his tail

Vicky: Nah. That would hurt too much! (strokes her tail protectively)

Skimble: Or work on a rail

With a hammer, hammering spikes!

He can ferry a boat on a river

Or peddle a pack on his back

Or work up and down

The streets of a town

With a whip and a horse and a hack

He can haul a scow along a canal

Run a cow around a corral

Or maybe bark for a carousel

Of course it takes talent to do that well

He might be a champ of the heavyweights

Or a feller that sells you glue

Or President of the United States

That'd be all right, too!

(speaks) His mother would like that. But he wouldn't be President unless he wanted to be. Not Bill!

(At this point, the tide has washed in most of the way and Skimble is practically clinging to the trees on the edge of the beach for protection.)

Skimble: (picks up the singing again, both eyes firmly on the water quite close to his feet)

My kit, Bill! He'll be tall and as tough as a tree, will Bill!

Like a tree he'll grow with his head held high

And his feet planted firm on the ground

(Climbs the tree from H2O protection.)

And you won't see nobody dare to try

To boss or toss him around!

No fat-bottomed, flabby-faced, pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully

Will boss him around!

(Starts to get into the spirit of the song now that the water is far below.)

And I'm hanged if he'll marry the boss' daughter

Tugger: ("Everlasting Cat Superstar" flashbacks playing through his mind) Nah. Hanging ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Skimble: A skinny-lipped lady with blood like water

Who'll give him a peck

And call it a kiss

And look in his eyes through a lorgnette

(Realizes something)

Say, why am I talkin' on like this?

My kid ain't even been born, yet!

I can see him when he's seventeen or so

And startin' to go with a girl

I can give him lots of pointers, very sound

On the way to get 'round any girl

I can tell him ...

Queens: Tell it to 'em good, Skimble! Tell it to 'em good!

Veroni: While I appreciate the fact that that song is actually IN this show, IT'S NOT UNTIL LATER!! (goes back to the task of making the tide roll in)

Skimble: (totally missed the previous exchange because he's completely lost in the spirit of the song. Speaking..) Wait a minute! Could it be? What the he-- uhm, heck! What if he is a queen? What would I do with her? What could I do for her? A bum with no money!

(sings) You can have fun with a tom

But you got to be a father to a girl

She mightn't be so bad at that

A kit with ribbons in her fur!

A kind o' sweet and petite

Little tin-type of her mother!

What a pair!

My little girl pink and white

As peaches and cream is she

(Since he's so wrapped up in the song, Skimble hasn't noticed that the sturdy tree he climbed five minutes ago is starting to bend toward the waters below.)

Tanti: (stifling a giggle) Shouldn't someone tell him what's happening?

Tugger: Nah. My motto is "At least it's not me".

Mac: (remembering the various beatings he has gone through at the hands of the authors) I hear you, brother!

Skimble: (aboard the rapidly sinking tree) My little girl Is half again as bright

As girls are meant to be!

Dozens of boys pursue her

Many a likely lad does what he can to woo her

From her faithful dad

She has a few

Pink and white young fellers of two or three

But my little girl

Gets hungry ev'ry night and she come home to me!

(Stands up on the remainder of the tree that's not under water)

I got to get ready before she comes!

I got to make certain that she

Won't be dragged up in slums

With a lot o' bums like me

She's got to be sheltered

(Feet go underwater)

And be dressed in the best money can buy!

(Water is up to knees)

I never knew how to get money

(Water is up to hips)

But, I'll try, I'll try! I'll try!

(Water is up to chest)

I'll go out and make it or steal it

(Water is up to neck)

Or take it or die!

(Goes under)

Skimble: MMMMMMMMRRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!! (LEAPS out of the water and lands at Veroni's feet) You are.... so....

Veroni: What?

Skimble: WET! (tosses her in the water)

Veroni: ****SPLASH****

Skimble: (shaking himself off) Alright cats. Now we leave before she can get out.