Misto: (flicks lights on and screams) She's not at her computer!

Skimble: The appocalypse is upon us!

Vicky: Idiots... she's right over here at the TV.

Skimble: AH! The other place that she spends way too much time at!

Kel: (slightly teary eyed but breaks up her sobbing for a moment to glare) You've been talkin' to my mom, haven't you?

Jelly: We didn't mean to get you upset! What's wrong?

Kel: THEY KILLED DOYLE!!!!!

Misto: S'cuse me... didn't he die like two weeks ago?

Kel: I was watching the tape again. *sob*

Skimble: So is that it? Am I done?

Kel: *bursts out sobbing* That's what Doyle said!!!!

Skimble: (muffled protests from being squashed in a big Kel bear hug) Hello? Can't breathe here!

Kel: Sorry.

Tugger: Not that I don't love a good touchy-feel-y moment, but what about me? The sooner I get out of here the better. Mooky's wrappin' her fic up and as soon as that and this thing are over.... I AM SO GONE!!!

Kel: WAH!!! Not Mooky too!

Munku: Kel, calm down. There are eight parts! That's pretty much enough of anything...

Bomb: TOO much.

Kel: Well, then let's get ourselves goin'! We're only on part 4!

Jemi: Heh... *only*.

Last time we.... um. Where were we?

Pounce: Here... I'm used to being flashback cat.

"Previously on Misto..." the necessary voice of a re-cap cat intoned.

Kel: Flashback time!

Misto: But I don't wanna do little clips of last time... this is gimmic-ey!

Kel: I like gimmics! Look, just do it and then we can move on.

"Hey look, my old pal Mistoffelees.." Tugger muttered under his breath. "Just wait until you see what I have in store for you this time, mate..."

Tugger: Hey Kel... that's a funky new color.

Kel: I've dubbed it 'recap red'. Now shaddap so that we can move on to the new stuff.

Just then a familiar face from Junkyard entered the office. It was Plato, Jemima's boyfriend with a surprise for Misto.

"A brief description of 'the thing' is that it functions to quickly fill in plot holes with lame excuses and then move on really fast before the viewers know what hit 'em. Needless to say, most every script writer this side of JunkYard wishes he had one." Plato explained.

Plato: I never said that!

Kel: OH! Um... artistic license.

Lec: Artistic my A---

Kel: Yes?

Lec: A... never mind.

Tugger had hatched a plan to get back 'the thing'. He was naturally a little down after his last attempt to retrieve it failed, but with a little singing and dancing and mocking of his former chum, everything was right with the world once more.

All:
Born somewhere we don't know...

Cuz he's older than Disco...

Yessir born somewhere we don't know

Tugger:
And he's an A-Class wierdo!

All: BIG WUSS!

"Now we continue..." the voice said in 'duh' tone.

Cats: That was a pathetic waste of space.

"Hey!" Bomb yelled as she walked into the graveyard, which had been the site of the 'Big Wuss' music video but moments before. "Don't mock the soul pollicle!"

"BOMB!" Tugger did a little happy dance. "Why not? Cuz it's mean?"

"Nah... just plain tacky." she came in and planted a big wet one on her lover. "And too easy."

Pounce: I could be missing something here, but wasn't Bomb gone?

Jelly: 'The thing' strikes!

Kel: No. Not THAT thing, my thing!

Misto: Which thing?

Demi: Her thing.

Cori: She has a thing?

Vicky: Apparently.

Tugger: So I didn't get the thing?

Bomb: You had to. You thing-ed me back here.

Kel: If you were paying attention to me, you would know that my thing and the 'thing' thing are one and the same.

Skimble: And if you readers were trying to follow that conversation, I pity you all!

With the appearance of Bomb, the audience is pretty well clued in that either this author messed up, (which would of course, *never* happen), or that the notorius 'thing' has struck. As our characters try to figure out what the heck has happened, our other two heroes rush to the rescue with a fleet of storm troopers.

Tumble: Storm troopers?

Jenny: 'Thing' influence, remember? SW is perfectly okay when the plot has scattered on the breeze.

Counteracting the attack, Tugger and Bomb quickly thought up an army of Ewoks to fend off the storm troopers.

"Misto! Tugger used 'the thing' after all!" Vicky yelled to her boss.

"Kinda noticed... But I'm a bit busy with these annoying furry things at the moment, you see." Misto said as he had yet another Ewok use him as a horsey.

In the middle of the mayhem, a troup of lawyers marched in single file to handle all the copywrite infringements caused by the appearance of these extra creatures. As they marched, they sang...

We dunno what we've been told!

(We dunno what we've been told!)

This singin' thing is gettin' old!

(This singin' thing is gettin' old!)

We'll sue!

(ONE! TWO!)

You too!

(WHOO-HOO!)

Cuz you ain't read..

THE FINE! (PRINT!)

Asparagus: I feel like the world's largest boob.

Tumble: Why did we have to be the marching guys in buisness suits?

Admetus: 'Cuz no one will miss us if we're *accidentally* misplaced.

Rumpus: In layman's terms-- If we die, no one will care. ALAS! The ill-fated background cats! No one ever knew them very well.

The lawyers decided that they would cleanse this fic by creating a big time lawsuit and wrapping all the other characters up in legal mumbo-jumbo for years so that lawyers could in the meantime take over the world as we know it, (gosh, doesn't it seem like everyone's jumpin' that bandwagon lately?). Anyhoo, with the addition of this added side plot to the non-existant plot (THERE'S a contradicion for you!) 'the thing' began to overload. If it exploded, all shows involving a plot would die out.

Quaxo: I guess that means 'Dawson's Creek' would survive, huh?

Kel: No commentary about teenager-aimed angst shows!

Bomb: And there's that word again!

"That thing's gonna go off, isn't it?" Skimble asked as he and Vicky met up with Misto. Vicky and Misto gave him a 'duh' look and he quickly shut his mouth.

"Someone has to stop it," Vicky wailed. "I can't live without a plot! Things would be too weird."

"Things were weird long before this thing came along, princess." Skimble said.

Misto, realizing he must be the one to stop 'the thing', prepared to sacrifice himself. Just as he was about to do just that, Skimble came up behind the pollicle and clocked him so that *he* would be the one to save storylines as we know them. (You didn't expect that we'd kill of the lead, now. Did you?).

"Skimble!" Misto moaned when he realized what his friend was going to do. "SKIMBLE! SKIMBLE! Skimble, no! NO! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Exotica: Wow, Misto. Betcha the Emmy committee will call any minute now...

Misto: You really mean that?

Exotica: Well, no. But it's the thought that counts, am I right?

Skimble slipped into his Pum form (don't get too excited-- it only involved placing an oversized shoe on his head) in an effort to protect himself from the blast. As he got ready to jump, he decided now would be as good a time as any to make a move on Vicky who was still a little 'Pum-shocked'.

"You're a... you're... I mean... Pum?" Vicky stumbled over her words.

"Yes... it's too bad we'll never know if this is a shoe you could learn to love." Skimble said sadly.

Cats: Ugh....

Kel: *sobs* DOYLE!!!! I would always love that face...

Munku: I hate to be mean here, but GET OVER IT!

Kel: (slips on her 'Demon's Defense' T-Shirt) You can't make me.

The two shared a long goodbye kiss and Skimble sang, (after they finished kissing, of course cuz it would be majorly icky if he tried to sing while they were still tongue wrestling and all).

(to the tune of "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston)

If I

Should stay...

I would only be in the plot's way

So goodbye

Please don't cry

We all knew that this had to happen at some point...

Cass: Here we go with not fitting the beat again.

And IIIIIIIIIIII----ie----IIIIIII...

Will always love you...

Vicky, I..

Will always

LOVE YOU!!!!

And I will always...

Lo-o-o-ove

You...

Jemi: I hate to admit it, but that was kinda sentimental and sweet, wasn't it, Lonz?

Alonzo: (wipes away a tear and quickly hides it) I'm fine.

With that touching song and moment thinggy, Skimble smashed 'the thing' and saved all plots around the world. Why that would kill him I have no idea, but it was the only way that we could fit in a heroic death. Tugger and Bomb, realizing their precious 'the thing' was no more, turned tail and went back into Mooky's mind... the plot now fixed, both the Ewoks and Storm Troopers decided to find more fertile ground in the world of George Lucas... the lawyers, having lost their last few cases had to close up shop and move off to the 'Johnny Cochran Retirement Home'. In short, everything was pretty much back to normal except for our two remaining heroes.

"So here I am to you a mystery cat..." Misto sang quietly in mouring. "You're thinkin' I'm kinda insane... Vicky, it just doesn't feel the same!"

"Yeah... no one could sing bad 80's pop like Skimble..." Vicky trailed off. "If only there was some way that we'd know if we will ever see him again!"

On cue, Skimble's vision inducing cream dish began to shake and glow in it's customary way right before a vision...

Munku: And if that doesn't scream 'I'm comin' back!' I dunno what does.

Kel: Ooops! Time for me to go direct the church Christmas Pagent... I guess that will wrap things up for us for now then.

Skimble: FREE AT LAST!!! AND I WON'T HAVE TO RETURN!!

Kel: Gee, don't sound too dissapointed about that now, Skimble.

Misto: Whereas the rest of us have to keep this thing going on and on and on and on.....

Kel: (writing on her pad) How about this for next time? (shows writing to Misto)

Misto: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bomb: Drat. He broke Demi's record for longest sustained 'No!'.