Steffi

3:

Carrie:

Life went on, as it never ended. Kevin’s face was engraved into my mind, it just would not leave. The more I tried to forget about him, the deeper his image was chiseled. Maybe it was because his face was the only comfort I had in my roller coaster of emotions-I was still grieving from my mother’s passing and I was caught in an awkward relationship with Gary. As confusing as it was, it was the reality of the situation.

Ever since my mother passed on, my father hardly ever smiled. He would usually lock himself in the study room, watching videos of his wedding. I felt as though he was trying to recreate all those fond memories he had with my mother. But I could not blame him for acting the way he did; he had lost one half of himself. Many nights I brought a blanket into the study to cover him up, since he usually fell asleep after watching the videos. Being a light sleeper, he would groggily look up at me and say, “Baby princess, you’re all I’ve got now. I want you to be happy.” Naturally, he was relieved that Gary displayed interest in me. Although he was never keen on me having relationships with boys, he did approve of this one because he wanted me to get on with my life. But even he did not know about those offensive things the other football guys said in the privacy of the changing room. He did not know Gary. I did not even know Gary.

One day in April changed everything. It started out as normal as any other day. But Gary made sure it ended differently. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I knew he wanted to ask me for quite some time, but the question was always at the tip of his tongue. Still, I was astonished and shocked, as I had only known him for a few months. I knew I did not have to answer him immediately, so I told him I would sleep on it. But I knew I would end up agreeing. I had to agree-to please Gary, but mostly to please my father. I felt like the only person who could even begin to understand the situation was Kevin, so I called him up the night Gary popped the question.

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Steffi