TOP TEN PAGE
On this page I will be showcasing top ten lists
gathered from outside sources (Wizard, Marvel Online,
etc...)
As you may or may not know, Kurt Wagner, the blue skinned elfin teleporter known as Nightcrawler, has aspirations to become a man of the cloth. Can the seminary handle all of this X-orcism? We think not, and pray for their eternal well being. For the time being however, we shall place our petitions in the form of…
THE TOP 11 REASONS WHY NIGHTCRAWLER SHOULD NOT BECOME A PRIEST.
(11 -“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the…”
-“Come to me my X-Men!”
-BAMF-!
(10 It really isn’t a good idea to turn the other cheek in a fight with Sabretooth…
(9 It’s gonna be really difficult for any X-Man to respect a Man who only roae from the dead once…
(8 “The mass is ended. Let us go in peace to love and protect those who fear and hate us.”
(7 Would YOU accept the Eucharist from a blue guy with three fingers?
(6 -“No Magneto, you can’t destroy the Earth with your powers!”
-“Because Jesus said not to!”
-“I’m a Jew.”
-FASHWOOM!-
(5 “Father, why do you have a tail?”
(4 -“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
-“Talk to me, my child.”
-“I ran over some bald mutie bastard in a wheelchair with my Hummer…”
-BAMF!-
(3 Kitty Pryde may join a Convent…Naaah.
(2 At the mere sight of him, all the Acolytes will experience horrible flashbacks, scream and run away in shock.
(1 -“If you try to exorcise me one more time, bub, I’ll stick that chalice up your @$$!”
TOP 10 THINGS ON BANSHEE'S
"TO DO" LIST ON ST. PATTY'S DAY
(taken from Wizard #68)
#10)Get blitzed on Jack Daniels, then run around
the yard wearing nothing but a shamrock and a smile
while beating the bushes for snakes and yelling,
"Magically delicious!! Magically %U$@ING delicous.
#9)Find out why they call my stepbrother "Black
Tom"
#8)Get into huge fight with Ghost Rider over which
is worse: the "having your soul bonded to a vengence-
seeking demon from hell" curse or the y'know...Irish
curse
#7)Just "doing it"
#6)Track down Union Jack, Captain Britian, Baron
Blood and every other English super-type I can find
and show 'em the neat trick I can do with my
shillelaugh.
#5)Vomit
#4)See how far I can stretch Skin.
#3)Force Mondo to touch the Blarney Stone and then
go to town!
#2)Translate X-MAN's origin into Gaelic and see if
it makes any sense that way.
#1)Mistake that li'l green b@st@rd Leech for a
leprechaun, tie him to a chair and ask him where he's
hidden his gold, popping one of those giant pink zits
on Artie's head every time he fails to answer.
TOP 10 REASONS MARVEL IS CANCELLING
ALL THE X-MEN TITLES
(taken from Wizard #41 NOTE: This is in reference
to the AoA)
#10)The coin landed on Tails
#9)New editorial staff having trouble spelling "X"
#8)"Excelsoir!" is Latin for "Boy, we've milked
this baby dry!"
#7)Unanounced Zero Hour Epilogue
#6)Evil Monkeys
#5)Marvel Inter-office game of "Truth or Dare" got
way out of control (though this does explain the
Spider-Clone and Fantastic Force)
#4)Euthanism
#3)Assistant Editor's Month never really ended
#2)To see if anyone would notice
#1)Because the whole idea of an alternate dimension
/time travel/alternate reality versions of the X-MEN
was something new, something that had never been done
before.
