MENTAL HEALTH MOMENT
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENT
February 9, 2001
"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well
is that they have a common enemy." - Sam Levenson
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Guide to Programs - National Science Foundation Funding Opportunities
http://www.nsf.gov/od/lpa/news/publicat/nsf013/start.htm
This site provides a list of funding available for scientific
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E-Bulletin, a Web page that releases deadlines and target dates to submit
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February 22-24: National Conference on Stepfamilies, New Orleans.
Sponsored by the Stepfamilies Association of America, the conference will
address new interventions that work specifically with stepfamilies unique
problems and help children cope with stress. Contact: Debbie Conover,
(617) 469-6789, Ext. 10; Email: piridc@mail.com Web Site:
http://www.edupr.com/stepfam.html
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STRESS AND YOUR CHILD
Stress is a natural response to the pressures of life.
It prepares the body to react to challenge. As an adult,
you probably experience stress from the challenges and
demands of work, home and family life - and even hobbies,
sports and the nightly news.
Children also face stress. We often read stories or see
paintings, movies and TV programs which show childhood
as happy and serene. However, childhood is actually full
of new experiences that can trigger stress. Even good
experiences such as birthday parties and vacation trips
can be stressful.
Stress can be good as well as bad. A burst of energy can
help us do our best and enjoy life more. However, too
much stress can make children (and adults) cranky,
unhappy, and even ill. Knowing about stress and its
effects can help you:
* RECOGNIZE sources of stress in your child's life, and
deal effectively with those that cause harm.
* TEACH your child to manage stress now and for a
lifetime.
* UNDERSTAND your child better, by seeing the world
more from a child's point of view.
WHAT HAPPENS DURING PERIODS OF STRESS?
No matter what triggers it, the body's response is the
same. Adrenalin "sounds the alarm" and
* muscles tighten to prepare for action
* sugar flows into the bloodstream for a quick burst
of power
* breathing quickens to bring more oxygen to the blood
* digestion slows to let the body concentrate its
energy on the situation at hand
* pupils dilate to sharpen vision
* skin turns pale as blood is diverted to muscles and
brain
* heart speeds up to pump blood faster
If the problem is resolved, the body returns to normal.
If the problem is unresolved, stress will continue and
can build up over time. Exhaustion, poor health, and
even mental illness may result.
LEARN THE SIGNS OF HARMFUL STRESS IN CHILDREN
Physical:
* Headaches, stomachaches
* Trembling, nervous tics
* Teeth grinding (or complaints of sore jaw)
* Rise in accident-proneness
* frequent urination
Behavioral:
* Crankiness, laziness
* Anxiety, nervousness
* Poor eating habits
* Excessive TV watching
* Sleeping problems, nightmares
All children show some of these signs from time to time.
However, if physical causes are ruled out and the signs
remain, the child may suffer from stress.
THE KEY IS COMMUNICATION
* TEACH your child that the following are the signs of
stress:
~ a pounding heart
~ fast breathing
~ "butterflies" in the stomach
* HELP your child identify the cause of the stress:
An upcoming quiz? A fight with a friend?
* ENCOURAGE your child to work out a plan to deal with
the cause of the stress. Talk about the plan afterward.
Praise the effort. Discuss other ways the problem
might have been handled.
Sometimes, the cause of stress is beyond a child's
control. But, as a parent, you can help. More next time.
If stress becomes more than he or she can handle, seek
help for your child. Write or call:
* Your child's school
* Your mental health center or mental
health association
* your family physician or pediatrician
* a child psychiatrist or psychologist
* a family service agency
* your city or state department of
mental health
* a parent support hotline
* your local psychological association
* your priest, minister, or rabbi
SOURCES OF STRESS FOR CHILDREN
Situations in the Home
Children shouldn't be sheltered from all stressful
experiences - they are essential for emotional growth.
But you can
* limit their number and intensity as
much as possible.
* offer suggestions and support.
Parents' Separation or Divorce
This brings sadness, insecurity, and even feelings of
guilt. Assure children that they:
* did not cause the breakup
* could not have stopped it
* do not have to take sides
* will still be cared for.
Be honest in your discussions.
A New Stepparent
A new stepparent may be seen as a threat at first.
Children may also think accepting the new parent
betrays the absent parent.
* Don't push the relationship.
* Play games, go on outings, etc., as
a family.
Moving
Moving is stressful to everyone, but especially for
children ages 6-11.
* Involve children in plans and packing.
* Show pictures of the future home and
neighborhood.
* Invite children's friends to a goodbye
party or outing.
A Single-Parent Household
This faces special pressures. Because of these, a child
may be:
* given "adult" responsibilities such as
cooking meals, raising younger children,
etc.
* treated as the parent's counselor and
equal.
Avoid such tendencies - let children be children.
A New Sister or Brother
This sometimes sparks resentment. Don't expect instant
affection. Instead:
* spend time with each child
* don't compare children.
Be patient. Siblings quarrel. It is a fact of life.
Death of a Loved One
Make a point to teach children about death before
the loss of a relative, friend or pet.
* Avoid terms like "going to sleep", "a long
journey", etc. They can scare youngsters.
* Answer questions honestly. It's OK to
say, "I don't know."
Your Own Stresses
Stresses from marriage troubles, money worries, illness,
unemployment, etc., are sensed by children.
* Don't deny that a problem exists.
* Explain the problem in terms a child
can understand.
Seek help and support for your troubles, too.
Other Common Sources Of Stress
Hospitalization
Fear, pain, and separation from family can cause stress.
* Reassure children that hospitalization is not
punishment.
* Explain what will happen.
* Arrange a tour of the hospital.
* Ask to be with your child when anaesthesia is
given, and later in the recovery room.
School
Homework, tests, worries about popularity, etc., can
make school stressful.
* Show interest in what your child does at school.
* Praise effort.
* Be in touch with teachers. Let them know if
situations at home are causing stress.
* Don't put too much emphasis on grades.
Competition
Organized sports, dance or music recitals, etc., can
cause stress.
* Having a good time, not winning, should be the
goal.
* Praise the child's effort, especially after a loss.
* Be sure the child participates for enjoyment,
not to please you.
A Complex, Changing World
Children are exposed earlier than ever before to alcohol,
drugs, sex, violence on TV, etc.
* Set limits. Some experiences should still be
"not for children".
* Share your values. Children need to know your
values if they are to form their own.
"Growing Pains"
Childhood is a time of rapid change: physical, social,
emotional, intellectual. The need to be "independent"
and accepted by peers may outweigh the wish to please
parents or live up to family values.
* Listen to your children.
* Encourage them to express their feelings, even
if you disagree.
* Allow them their feelings. Instead of saying,
"Don't feel sad about losing the game," say,
"I know you feel sad. But I'm proud that you
tried."
* Respect their privacy. Don't eavesdrop, open mail,
walk into bathroom or bedroom unannounced.
Investigate books or workshops for parents on listening
and communication skills.
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For further information, go to the following and begin by trying
these descriptors in the search engine. You can search for and
order/buy books online through this link. Descriptors: Stress,
stress and children, stress and families, stress and school,
stress and hospitalization, stress and trauma, stress and illness,
children and stress management, stress sources, etc
https://www.angelfire.com/biz/odochartaigh/searchbooks.html
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Contact your local Mental Health Center or
check the yellow pages for counselors, psychologists,
therapists, and other Mental health Professionals in
your area for further information.
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George W. Doherty
O'Dochartaigh Associates
Box 786
Laramie, WY 82073-0786
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENTS Online: https://www.angelfire.com/biz3/news
