> > Perfect Fifth -- A full bottle of Jack Daniels
> > Ritard -- There's one in every family
> > Relative Major -- An uncle in the Marine Corps
> > Relative Minor -- A girlfriend
> > Big Band -- When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players
> > Pianissimo -- "Refill this beer bottle"
> > Repeat -- What you do until they just expel you
> > Treble -- Women ain't nothin' but
> > Bass -- The things you run around in softball
> > Portamento -- A foreign country you've always wanted to see
> > Conductor -- The man who punches your ticket to > Birmingham
> > Arpeggio -- "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that > grows?"
> > Tempo -- Good choice for a used car
> > A 440 -- The highway that runs around Nashville
> > Transpositions -- Men who wear dresses
> > Cut Time-- Parole Order of
> > Sharps -- What a wimp gets at the bar
> > Passing Tone-- Frequently heard near the baked beans at family > barbecues
> > Middle C-- The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are > low
> > Perfect Pitch -- The smooth coating on a freshly paved road
> > Tuba -- A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll > Cream!"
> > Cadenza -- That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of > when > company comes
> > Whole Note -- What's due after failing to pay the > mortgage for a year
> > Clef -- What you try never to fall off of
> > Bass Clef -- Where you wind up if you do fall off
> > Altos -- Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" or > "Dori-toes"
> > Minor Third-- Your approximate age and grade at the completion of > formal > schooling
> > Melodic Minor -- Loretta Lynn's singing dad
> > 12-Tone Scale --The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer > truck > with
> > Quarter Tone -- What most standard pickups can haul
> > Sonata -- What you get from a bad cold or hay fever
> > Clarinet -- Name used on your second daughter if you've already used > Betty > Jo
> > Cello -- The proper way to answer the phone
> > Bassoon -- Typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and > when
> > French Horn -- Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come > in at > 4 a.m.
> > Cymbal -- What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to > sight-in > your pistol with
> > Bossa Nova -- The car your foreman drives
> > Time Signature -- What you need from your boss if you forget to clock > in
> > First Inversion --Grandpa's battle group at Normandy
> > Staccato -- How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home
> > Major Scale -- What you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: > "Darn! > That was a major scale!"
> > Aeolian Mode-- How you like Mama's cherry pie
> > Bach Chorale -- The place behind the barn where you keep the horses
> >
