Being an ex-combat Vet, I began to fret ~
Learned at a young age not to
Share and feel pain, love, trust, fears ~
And: Shed no tears of what is real
Saw an experienced a lot of blood and death,
Sights and smells and sounds are all a part of it.
All these things gave me instincts of survival.
Over there, I had my rifle ~
Here I have to rely on myself;
And: My Faith in God ...
For he was there, and knows all that I feel
"Like a Rod."
Yes, a rod through my heart ~
Oh! Such an agony and hurt ...
Always holding back ... Wanting to hit the dirt.
So many times, I cried out to him in combat;
But: For me today,
I'm just beginning to find where He's at.
Hard to let Him in to comfort my fears;
And: Still I still try and hold back those tears.
Is my Instincts helping me to thrive ~
I just seem to let it go, then pull back ...
In hopes of staying alive.
Oh, I have felt the guilt - and sat and cried ~
Yes, cried for all of those who died.
For they never got a chance
To have a family and thrive.
Nam was a terrible war; And: It's still taking its' toll ~
At times I still feel like hitting the ground to roll.
In my heart I know that those who gave all
Are in Good Hands
Yes, for the Lord uses his hands to heal ~
And: Angels band together to help us through.
These times of trouble.
At times my instincts say "Trouble"
But: Then Angels come along and burst the bubble.
As I sit here in the wee hours, and not of sleep.
I begin to wonder and think; And: Soon begin to weep.
But: I feel an Angel's hand on my shoulder; And it's Great ~
Seems to ease up the instincts of all the hurt and hate.
Yes, as a Vet, it's hard for me to feel what is real;
For: Nam sure taught me how NOT to feel.
This P.T.S.D. without help will kill me;
And: That I can see.
So I try to accept those Angels that He has sent to help me.
When I do, I have great days for me, you see.
Those that gave all have come back to see me and help.
Have to sort out and get my instincts in perspective ~
Then I will be able to feel happiness from within.
Hard task for me at hand ~
Have to let God give me a Hand.
For one day I will be under His command in this land.
As I go I leave you with this thought that I have sought:
Would those that "Gave It All". want us to NOT live,
and have fun and enjoy all that is here for us at hand?
I think not, for that would mean they died in vain.
For that's why I feel their tears when it rains ~
For some are not enjoying the life they gave all for.
For me, I want the war within me to be no more;
And: with that said, I wish I could close that door.
It's time to go and explore the world that God gave us;
And: Those that fought and gave all that we could have all.
Dedicated to those that GAVE ALL ~
For their names are on the Wall;
And: For as long as I live, I will never forget ~
Even when their tears get me Wet.
© by JIM SIMPSON 173RD AIRBORNE BDE. C 2/503 INFANTRY