Sometimes in the mists of the daily hustle and bustle of chores and conflicts, to-do's and appointments, parents sometimes forget to stop, look and listen to their child. Giving your children your undivided attention so they can tell you about their day, their friends, and ask you important questions - is a major "TO-DO" that needs to be done every single day.

There are four major indicators that your child needs your undivided attention. They are:

1. She is whining, screaming or showing negative behavior in order for you to notice her. This may indicate that your child is feeling ignored and by deliberately acting out, she will receive some of your attention - even if it is in the form of punishment.

2. Your child shows reluctance to talk to you and says things like "I'm sorry to bother you" or "Is it my turn now?" Comments like this show that your child feels their opinion or comments are not important and they want you to listen to them, but think they will be a bother to you or that they will be interrupting.

3. He is whiny, clingy or cries easily. Your child may be insecure and needs you to help build his confidence. He needs to know that he is loved and that everything will be okay.

4. She is screaming, biting, hitting and yelling. Your child may feel angry and wants you to know it! Look for the underlying cause of the anger rather than the angry act itself.

So now that they have your attention, what should you do?

1. Before acting out at your child in the form of arguing or yelling -- stop and ask yourself "What is the purpose of their behavior?" Look for a reason for the outburst or the crying. Do not assume that nothing is wrong or that the child is trying to purposely upset you. The behavior is there for a reason.

2. After you have decided what your child needs, phrase it in the form of a question to them. For example, your son hit his older brother, you may ask "Did you hit him because you felt angry?" or "What made you do that?" Talk about WHY it was done, what feelings were felt and why they were acted upon.

3. Now ask your child what can be done to avoid that behavior from happening again.

4. Set up a time each day where you and your child can discuss their day's events.

5. When your child needs you - and you're busy - tell them that they are important and as soon as you are finished (give them a specific amount of time to wait) that you will speak with them. The key is to let them know that they are important and that you want to hear what they have to say.

6. Make supper and bedtime their time to talk. They will look forward to this special time and will understand better when you are too busy to talk.

7. Make them a priority. If you place a phone call to a friend or to a business associate, a television show or laundry in front of speaking and dealing with your children - then you have shown them that those things are a higher priority. If you want your children to feel valued and important - then keep their needs at the top of the list. There will always be reruns, time to talk to friends and time to do laundry. Your children cannot wait.