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| AUGUST 13TH - - 2003 |
Firstly, my heart goes out to The Hella Family, who I can only imagine have been going through a month of true hell with Mr. Hella's younger brother, who has been suffering with a series of heart attacks. From what I hear all is progressing well, though my best wishes will continue to go out to The Hella Family until all is recovered and well.
With that said and done let me also just say that I've have a really nice break, as have all the UwF Superstars. I was able to catch up with my lovely Wife and two Son's. It was great to be able to treat them all dinner on a couple of occasions, aswell as catch up with my grand children and spend endless hours at Wonderland Sydney, which for those that dont know is a rather large amusement park here in Sydney, Australia. In more ways than one im glad that the break is over with so I dont need to chase small kids around a park that big (-laughs-), but none the less I wouldn't have it any other way when an opportunity arises to do so.
Okay.. Its nearly 1am here at the UwF Headquaters in good ol' Australia, so im going to waste absolutely no more time blabbling about my outside life, and great strait into buisness because we've got alot to get through here on this weeks Report.
MASSACRE REVIEW
Dreg vs Jack Kage
Whoever booked this match gains nothing but thumbs up here on this end, I mean what a great way to kick off Massacre! .. Jack Kage, who we know has alot of issues with Lloydster, and will hopefully end these issues this Sunday at Beach Blast when they go head to head for the Hardcore Championship, takes on Dreg in the shows opening match. Need I remind you all that this match wasn't just pulled out of a hat. Dreg, who surprised us all on the last edition of Massacre, assulted Harley Shot with a steel chair. Though in the process of doing so, Dreg also wacked Jack Kage for good meassure, thus giving great purpose for this match-up.
So with all that in-mind, this match got under way real damn quickly. Jack Kage was all over a dark yet cocky Dreg, who was obviously underestimating Kage from the word go. Dreg fought back at one point however, though before too long Kage managed to get the better of Dreg, hitting him right in the centre of the ring with the Jackup. The match most certainly would of been over with, though due to a mistake by Dreg moments before Kage hit the finishing touch, Referee Gerald Stanley was knocked right out of his boots, thus leaving Kage nobody to count his cover over Dreg.
The jacked up crowds cheers were soon turned south into boos as Kage's opponent for Beach Blast, Lloydster, made his way down to the ring armed with a 2x4! .. Lloydster was quick to enter the ring and jump Kage from behind with the weapon, stabbing him in the stomach once before hitting Kage with The Arsenal. Lloydster soon left the ring with the crowd all over him. As that was happening, Dreg made his way back up, noticing what had happened. He comments now that he didn't need or like Lloydster's "assistance" in the match, though the dirty, evil smirk he gave once noticing what happened really told me that he liked the position he was in.
None the less, Dreg basically toyed with Kage, slapping him around as if he was a piece of trash laying on the floor. After a good two or three minutes of complete humiliation on Kage, Dreg finally put him away with the Sorrowful Bliss, vaining himself the cover and victory.
Winner: Dreg by Pinfall
Thats The Plan..
With Dreg spitting on Kage before leaving the ring, a camera comes to life backstage, viewing Nathan Hella, Dustin Thorn and Jackson Thomas (members of The Faction). We all couldn't hear what was being said, though once the camera got close enough Mr. Hella was finishing his conversation, saying "thats the plan". Before the group, who was missing The Cyclone at the time, moved off, Jackson made a small comment saying all everyone in the group now was to see The Owner of this company wearing some gold of his own.
Dante's On The Way!
"The Lost Soul" Dante Shield's moveable poser is what flashed up taking us to a commercial break. As spoken about before, Dante sets to make his long awaited return next Thursday on Tornado, which is the fallout of Beach Blast. The poser showed Dante for what he last looked like (face paint), continueing to leave us all alittle on the edge of our seat as to what he looks like behind the make-up.
Harley Shot vs Lloydster
This was yet another great booking by our bookers. Alot of modivation was behind both Superstars entering this match, with a score to hopefully be settled by the end of the match. For those that need a small reminded, the last time on Massacre these two went head to head it was in tag action, with Lloydster tagging with Typhoon to take on Harley Shot and Jack Kage. The result of that match was Lloydster turning his back on Typhoon and leaving the match, allowing Harley and Jack to pick up the easy victory.
There was alot more modivation and reason to this match however, with both men also clashing it real hard on The UwF Network between both matches. And boy wasn't alot of frustrations layed out in this match! .. Harley head out to the ring first, looking to be really out of wack. Kinda like how we last saw him in hospital, in somewhat of a bad concussion and losing alot of memory. Lloydster on the other hand didn't lose any memory, heading out to the ring with some new pyro work and the 2x4 he used in the last match.
The match got underway slowly, with Harley looking all around him still not sure of who he was or where he was. Lloydster found this quite amusing, slapping and pushing Harley around as if Harley was nothing more than a small child. This soon backfired on Lloydster, with Harley breaking out of what was revealed to be nothing more than an act to outsmart Lloydster. Harley then layed in quite the awesome physical fight.
It wasn't too long however until Lloydster found an opening, taking over the match using his power and strength. This turn-around however was only short lived, with Harley soon gaining the upper hand and climbing the top rope of glory to finish the big man off. As he was doing this though, Dreg made his way out, providing a huge distraction. Harley, however, wasn't going to let Dreg distract him for that long, giving him "thee" finger before leaping off the top rope, attempting his Lesson Learnt.
Lloydster wasn't going to allow this to happen however, recovering enough during Harley's distration, and moving well out of the way. Lloydster then headed toward the 2x4 that he left lying under the bottom turn buckle rope. Dreg saw what Lloydster had in-mind, so Dreg climbed up onto the apron and provided a great distraction with Referee Dave Stocker. Both men climbed back to their feet, and Lloydster swung the 2x4 at Harley, however Harley saw it coming and ducked. Lloydster then hit Dreg right in the skull with the 2x4 by mistake, using that much power that the thick 2x4 snapped right in half.
The crowd, Lloydster, and Referee Dave Stocker were so shocked by the impact behind the shot that Harley was able to use the distraction to his full advantage, spinning Lloydster around and hitting the Shotgun DDT. With a call of the Referee, Harley hooked the leg and received the three count victory.
Winner: Harley Shot by Pinfall
After The Match
It took some time before Harley found it in himself to leave the ring on his own two feet, though once he did he walked past Dreg with a smile. Dreg was being attended to by several EMT's. The camera crew were able to get a shot of Dreg at the time, and boy wasn't he busted open.
Here They Come!
Dustin Thorn and Jackson Thomas took us to our final commercial break, leaving The Faction's locker room and making the long walk through the backstage area, heading out way for the Main Event.
Houston vs Jacob Hein
Massacre returned from its final commercial break, flashing up the fansy posers of new signers Houston and Jacob Hein, who are two huge new signers to the UwF, debuting at Beach Blast one on one.
I Want..
Before the Main Event came, a shot of Dreg backstage appeared. He was fighting off EMT's, refusing all help they were offering. With blood dripping from his head, Dreg pressed forward, ending up in Mr. Hella's office. A surprised and somewhat annoyed Owner questioned what Dreg wanted and Dreg replied by demanding he get Lloydster and Harley Shot! .. Mr. Hella was set to refuse right off the bat though Dreg threatened Mr. Hella, and with no Faction members in sight, The Owner of the company wanted none of that.
Mr. Hella then went on to grant Dreg's demands, booking Dreg, Harley Shot, Lloydster and Jack Kage in a big Fatal Four Way Elimination Match on Tornado. Just when you thought all should be well, Dreg said that he also wanted Harley one on one at Beach Blast. Mr. Hella did some thinking, soon coming to the realization that Dreg vs Harley Shot would really bring in the cash, leading him to then grant that demand aswell. Not only that, but Mr. Hella then went on to say that this match was so big that it deserved something extra, and that something extra would be the United States Championship, which Mr. Hella said would be determined in this very match!
Well, just when you thought everything would be settled, Dreg shook his head and said it wouldn't be good enough because he couldn't give a damn about the United States and the People! .. Dreg also said that he wanted this match to consist of no rules because he didn't want to get suspended or arrested for what he does to Harley. Mr. Hella gave it some great consideration, though ended up granting Dreg's demand, making the match a No Disqualification's 'bout! .. A very evil, sadistic smirk crossed a blooded Dreg's face as he made his exit.
Dustin Thorn & Jackson Thomas vs Hellraiser & 2-D
This match was set to fullfill a great Main Event and ending to the final Massacre before Beach Blast, though a Main Event it sure as hell was not going to be. Dustin and Jackson made their way out first, though before Jackson could get into the ring to join Dustin, James Taylor ran out and attacked him from behind. Jay, being nothing more than a Sports Agent, had close to no effect behind his assult, making Jackson and Dustin very mad.
It wasn't long before Jay found this out, racing back up the ramp way to try and get away from the evil duo. Jackson and Dustin wern't going to let this fish get away though, chasing Jay back up the ramp way. They were both about to exit through the curtain right behind Jay, though were met by a steel chair from 2-D, who was waiting behind the curtain!
2-D then layed in some very harsh chair shots to both Jackson and Dustin, finally backing Dustin right up to the edge of the stage area. One taunt and chair shot later, Dustin fell off the fifteen/twenty foot stage, and through some near-by electrical tables!
With Dustin finally out of the picture, 2-D and Jay turned their eyes back to Jackson, who was somewhat trying to escape. 2-D dropped the chair and told Jay he was going to do buisness with Jackson with his bare hands, laying in some good ones I might add that sent Jackson not only falling on his butt, but also tumbling down the ramp way. 2-D and Jay slowly chased their victim, finally meeting up with him again at the commentary table area.
2-D slammed Jackson into the commentary table, arming himself with a monitor and wacking Jackson across the head with it aswell! .. 2-D rolled Jackson into the ring moments later, and let me just say that the image of Jackson haunts me to this day. Blood was drpping right down his face. A huge cut pretty much covered one side of his face. VERY horrible stuff. Anyway, 2-D and Jay soon climbed into the ring to finish the job off, merely by covering him. Jay made the unoffical count, putting a punch right on the fact that 2-D can beat Jackson in an all out brawl.
Just for fun and revenge, Jay then went on to cover 2-D, and 2-D made the three count over Jackson aswell! .. The two then begun to celebrate with the Seattle crowd, though all celebrations where put to an end when Mr. Hella made his way out on stage, looking to be really sent off the deap end.
Thats It!
Mr. Hella got on the microphone soon enough, not only questioning 2-D and Jay if they had enough, but also stating that he was sick and tired of people like 2-D and Jay taking away matches and assulting "his" Superstars just to try and get what they want. Mr. Hella then went on to say that he doesn't think the UwF is big enough for two huge egos like Jackson's and 2-D's, claiming that only a Master Mind like himself can bring a result to this situation.
What was the result going to be?? .. Mr. Hella said that the two would face off at Beach Blast in the Main Event. Not only that, but because he thinks Jackson really deserves it, the UwF Championship would be up for grabs in this match! .. Well boys and girls, if you thought it couldn't of gotten any bigger, then you were all majorly wrong because the UwF's Owner wasn't done, qoing on to question if its blood 2-D wanted. Mr. Hella said that he knew Jackson would want 2-D's blood in result to what took place on this night, and because of what happened with Jay, being that Jackson busted him open to a bloody pulp weeks prior, their clash at the pay-per-view would be a First Blood Match!
A really hyped, excited crowd were left standing and cheering for everything they were worth, with 2-D and Jay looking real damn pleased with the decision as the show went off the air.
AL's BLAH-BLAH RATINGS
There was no Tornado last week, so here's your Massacre Blah-Blah Rating from yours truly, which might I just add means absolutely nothing. Each network hands out their own ratings, and this isn't it. This is merely my opinion out of ten as to how I thought the show went.
Massacre: 09.04
Yes, I thought the show was THAT great. Each match, although may of not been fair, had a perfect conclusion that really set up the big stage at Beach Blast. What more could anyone of asked for being that we are so close to Sunday??
THE PAYNE PREDICTIONS
Two predictions in this edition of the report. First will be my predictions on the Tornado matches, and then i'll move strait onto my predictions for Beach Blast this Sunday. Im doing this quite obviously because there will be no Payne Report until Monday.
Mike Alexander vs Jackson Thomas
I tell you readers, these bookers are really starting to get the feel of whats going on because this is yet another great opener. No, not only because "The Franchise" is in it, but because of the build leading into it. Mike Alexander, who is only a new comer into the UwF, really got off to a great start on The UwF Network, taunting Jackson something big time. Well then, lets just see if Mike can cash the cheq's he writting when he gets his one on one debut match against one of the challengers for the UwF Championship this Sunday at Beach Blast!
Prediction: Jackson Thomas
Reason: I really dont have all my money on Jackson for this one I must say. I have only seen small video tapes of what Mike can do. Might I just say those tapes are impressive, though what he can do with Superstars here in the UwF is a different topic all together. I guess with all the pressure on Jackson at the moment would have to leave him a very confident, psyched up man that really can't afford a loss right now.
Jack Kage vs Dreg vs Lloydster vs Harley Shot
A match that was booked on Massacre at the hands of Mr. Hella himself. And what a match I think this will be. Fatal Four Way Elimination rules, meaning there will be no pinfall saves, and will not end until only one man is left standing. Funny enough, all four of these men have alot to "go" against eachother, therefore leaving my choice for a winner real hard to decide. This will however be one hell of an awesome match that im not expecting to end without alot of booing and cheering.
Prediction: Lloydster
Reason: I bet your all nearly falling out of your seats with that odd prediction, though what can I say?? .. The guy is clearly on fire! .. He's really focused on becoming the Hardcore Champion this Sunday. He's made some very clear statements the past few weeks, and has proved them all one way or another throughout various shows. Who wouldn't back him a winner with those odds??
2-D vs The Cyclone
This should be an interesting Main Event. The Cyclone, re-presenting The Faction, returns to the ring, looking to possibly do his fellow Faction partner, Jackson Thomas, a favor or two by weakening 2-D up aswell as stating a point of his own. 2-D on the other hand looks to send a message out to his First Blood opponent. I honestly believe this will be a brutal 'bout, with both Main Event Superstars giving it everything they have, until of course, nothing is left.
Prediction: 2-D
Reason: Once again, its a matter of not affording a loss leading into the Main Event for the UwF Championship in our first pay-per-view. Need I say that losing to The Cyclone certainly isn't a bad thing, though a loss to anyone right now really might not look good heading into the big title match. Alot is on the line, so dont be surprised to see this one get down right dirty as messages are sent.
Alright readers, here are my Beach Blast predictions.
Lloydster vs Jack Kage
I actually fear for the safty of both men in this clash. Lloydster, who we all know has crimal intensions, aims to go to all lengths just to capture and be the first Hardcore Champion, whilst Jack Kage is one hell of a fearless S.O.B. Put them both in the ring in a hardcore match with absolutely no rules and being basically the second in-charge of all talent, you've got to understand how I feel right now about this.
Prediction: Lloydster
Reason: Look, I really dont know why I choose him. Kage is an awesome Superstar to our lineup, but with the size and weight difference, aswell as the fact that Lloydster is more or less obsessed with becoming the Hardcore Champion, leaves me no choice but to put my money on him.
Houston vs Jacob Hein
This one should be interesting to say the least. Just looking over both mens video tapes when they came to the UwF looking for a home left me quite shocked. Both men are a huge part of this industry from what I've gone out and found out, though what they have to offer this company is a completely different issue. This is what should make this match real interesting for even me.
Prediction: None
Reason: Im not giving an answer simply because I dont think it would be fair. Both men dont deserve to have me judge them when I dont even know what they have to offer this company. A great match im intending it will be, but again, I dont think its right for me to stamp a prediction.
Dreg vs Harley Shot
I hope there are plenty of EMT's and ambulances surrounding the beach area because this one is going to get real brutal. No Disqualification's, with the United States Championship to be determined. Sure, Dreg may claim he couldn't care less about the title, but is that really how he thinks?? .. Its quite obvious that even though he may not care for himself, he still cares for this buisness and his career because lets face it, he wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case.
Prediction: Dreg
Reason: Huge scores will be settled in this match, though I really think it comes down to who is thinking about this match more. And that person is Dreg undoubtably. He is the one who demand this match happen. He's the one that demand this be No Disqualifications. And more importantly, Dreg isn't exactly thinking about the United States Championship and how he must win it. With all that in-mind, you've got to only think that Dreg must know what to do because he's been thinking of this match even before the match was booked.
Jackson Thomas vs 2-D
God have mercy on their souls! .. Its a First Blood Match for the UwF Championship. Need I say any more?? .. Both these men are going to litterally kill eachother if given the opportunity, and im raking my mind over it! .. I mean, you've got to look at this in two different ways. One, what lengths will both these men go to just to win?? .. And two, what will the loser of this match do should he lose?? .. Either way, its something to be alittle worried about.
Prediction: Jackson Thomas
Reason: Is a reason really needed?? .. I think its obvious. Jackson has three buddies in The Faction, including The Owner himself. 2-D has Jay, and to what help could Jay offer if all three members of The Faction interfere?? .. Exactly.
Let me just quickly say that my heart and prayers go out to all involved with the big pay-per-view event. I know whats on the line for each of you, and thats why I pray to God that he leads you all through a safe match that results in only minor injuries, if any at all.
INJURY UPDATE
Jack Kage
As seen and reported on alright, Jack Kage was at the receiving end of an assult at the hands of Lloydster, armed with a 2x4 on Tornado. UwF Doctor, Josh W. Parker, infronted me alittle earlier today that Kage was spitting up alittle blood after being lifted to the back after his match, though nothing too big. He was yelling Lloydster's name over and over from what I heard, only leaving us all to believe that he will most certainly be at Tornado to come get him a piece of Lloydster!
Dreg
As also seen and reported on, Dreg suffered a huge blow to the side of the head with a 2x4 on Tornado. Im told Dreg has been stitched when finally allowing EMT's to do so after his run-in with Mr. Hella backstage on Tornado. Dreg made it safely to the Compaq Center earlier today, and looked to be all set for the event tomorrow night (from what I heard).
Jackson Thomas
Boy wasn't Jackson busted open badly on Tornado! .. Right down one side of his face, and tons of blood left for the big clean up after the show. Im not all that sure on how many stitches it took to lock that big daddy together, though from what I know it was that bad that Doctor's had to give Jackson quite the dose morphine when he started to come too. Jackson has been given the all clear to wrestle on Tornado against "The Experience", though I wouldn't expect him to look all that crash hot both on the show, and in promos leading to the event.
Good to see the injuries staying down low and that Superstars are still able to take part in all scheduled events. With that said, lets turn to my favourite part of the report!
GOSSIP & INNUENDO
The Cyclone
Many questioned the dissappearence of The Cyclone, going as far as to say that maybe he and the UwF were having problems backstage. These rumors are dead false. The Cyclone is a loyal, and great edition to have to our rosters. All is great between both parties, and the reason behind his absence is merely do to outside family matters.
"The Lost Soul" Dante Shields
Lots of rumors are going around as to what sort of gimmick Dante sets to return as. Well, I may find myself in abit of trouble by telling you guys this, but from what have heard, and reported on before, Dante is returning as himself. Its for sure that he's pulling off the ol'mask and adding his own name after his character name. With that said I think its only safe to say that if thats exactly how Dante will appear to us, then its most likely Dante's real attitude and personality that we'll be seeing, which might I also add is a very charming, kind one at that.
Hellraiser
Many rumors circle as to the where abouts of Hellraiser this past week on Massacre. He was advertised heavily for the event, yet was a no show. I could go on and on about all the different rumors, though all im going to say is keep on reading because I'll be mentioning what happened alittle later on in the report.
Dustin Thorn
Dustin will be off the road for the next couple of weeks due to a request of leave that he gave the UwF Headquaters. From what I know Dustin and his very lovely Wife Christina, are celebrating their anniversary, and Dustin sets to surprise his bride of ten years tomorrow with a really wonderful cruise. This explains what occured on Massacre with Dustin falling from the stage area, not that anyone thinks there was any real injuries. Best of luck, and of course have fun party go'ers! .. And do all the things I would do, if you know what I mean! (-Laughs-)
Now that the Gossip & Innuendo has been taken care of that only leaves me with one last thing to talk about. Yes thats right, at 3.30am im heading down the home straight now!
NEWS & HEADLINES
UwF Tour
It is with great pleassure that I've been given the opportunity to be the first to announce this right here in The Payne Report. Yes thats right boys and girls, you asked for it, so now you've got it. The UwF heads out on Tour right after next months pay-per-view entitled Ring Master 2003! .. The locker room will be heading right here to the real home of the UwF (Australia), spending three long weeks in glorious hotels with free passes to such places as Wonderland Sydney and the chance of a lifetime to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge! .. The official date that the tour kicks off is September 11th, which will be Tornado. Tickets will soon be on sale, so be watching on for advertisements and further reports here on The Payne Report!
Ring Master 2003
Ring Master 2003 is our next pay-per-view extraviganza, coming to you all live from the Dodger Stadium in Los-Angeles, California on September 7th. Tickets are now on sale. From what I heard readers theres something like 56 thousand of the buggers to be sold, so hurry in and get your ticket now because the phones are ringing already! .. Who will win this 8 man tournament and be crowned the first, and 2003 Ring Master?? .. Only way to find out is be there in person or order the pay-per-view by calling your Pay TV provider now!
Hellraiser
Okay, I reported earlier that I'd give you all the answer as to why Hellraiser was not on Massacre, even though he was advertised for the event. Throughout the period the UwF was on hold due the The Hella Family situation, Hellraiser took it apon himself to take part in indy events, merely due to the huge amount of love he has for the industry. This of course was against contract regulations, and after a lengthy meeting between Hellraiser and UwF Executives (including myself), on Monday Morning, it was agreed apon by both parties that Hellraiser's contract be dismissed, this being the reason why Hellraiser was a no show.
And thats it my good friends! .. Time for me to close the ol'laptop, grab my coat, throw on the security alarms and go the hell home for some real deserving rest! (-Laughs-). Look forward to seeing both Tornado and Beach Blast this coming week, and all thats involved on The UwF Network between! .. I also look forward to catching up with you all next Monday for yet another special edition of The Payne Report.
Until next time, aim for the impossible, and achieve the extraordinary!
EMAIL ALAN
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