My Secret Cutting
Alone,
frightened in the dark,
Unable to trust my heart-
I wonder what's real,
My life's become surreal.
The pressure mounts,
More than I can count,
I look for a distraction,
There is no where to run.
The blade against the skin,
Makes me think I can win.
When I feel like nothing,
I turn to my secret cutting.
It doesn't feel like me,
While the blood, I see,
Slowly runs down-
I feel forever bound.
I turn to it for release,
It's not something I can cease,
It's how I cope
When I have no more hope.
I wish I could stop the cutting,
But when at night I feel like nothing,
It seems to set my mind at ease-
It helps me return to 'me'.
I wanna break out,
Ease all my doubts,
But I don't know how,
I don't know when darkness will take a bow.
Silent screams are all that are heard,
And I fear I'll be taken as absurd,
I wish for the day when I feel more than nothing,
And I can stop my secret cutting.
