I am beginning to know that I am loved, and it is delightful. The phrase "God loves you" has become so useless and meaningless to many, but to me it gains meaning every day. And it stands alone, in and of itself, outside of something that he did for me, even outside of what he did for me on the cross. For I am exceedingly thankful for his sacrifice, but I delight in who He is. The cross is but the evidence of his deep passion for me, and that is what stirs my passion and evokes a response from my emotions- not the surface thrill of getting my material needs met.

He has graced me with- I believe- a time period where I am partially free (as a student) from the responsibilities of life. Not being weighed down by "practical concerns," I am able to do the truly practical: pursue Him. For many, their view of God is based on their circumstances: if things go good, God is love; if not, God doesn't care. I am allowing my view to be shaped by His word and my personal experiences with Him. I have found Him to be true.

You see, there are angels in heaven who weep and shield their eyes because they are so overwhelmed by Him. There are these four winged creatures that eternally sing "Holy, holy, holy," and I don't think they ever get bored. I don't think that multitudes of heaven regret falling forever before Him, because their eyes have seen Him for who He is. Transcendent, beautiful, captivating- yet they are not beholding a physical appearance, as God is a Spirit (John 4:24). They are beholding His personality, overwhelmed by His love and awestruck by the way in which everything about Him is so above everything else. Awestruck that because He is so above all, that He chose to make Himself below all. Leaving glory to live in the dirt and breath carpenter's sawdust, to bear the stigma "bastard," be falsely accused, despised, and then murdered.

I am beginning to understand what it means to be "apprehended." Sure, I knew what it meant to become obsessed with compassion for a girlfriend. I knew what it meant to ponder the hope of other romantic interests. But now, by faith, I have the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen. My love is not an unattainable ideal- He is Emmanuel: God with us; God in the midst.

"In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation (substitution) for our sins." 1 John 4:9,10