“Zac, why did we have to leave? I didn’t even get to finish my ice cream,” I said with my mouth full of the ice cream that I had gotten at the restaurant and that I now had to eat in the car.

“Dirb, this is something you don’t know about me… I never stick around after an apology. I don’t know why, but I just can’t,” he said while turning the music up louder.

He always did that when we were talking about emotions. He tried to drown himself out, me, on the other hand, wanted to hear what he had to say. So, I reached up and turned the stereo off.

“Dirb,” he whined.

“No Zac, talk to me. I didn’t know you were like that. You’ve never run away after apologizing to me,” I said completely confused.

“Because I love you in a different way, plus, I know that after I apologize to you, you’re not going to make jokes about why I had to apologize,” he said reaching back up to the radio, but I pushed his hand away.

“Your family doesn’t do that, do they?” I asked amazed.

“Yeah, if we would’ve stayed there ten minutes more Isaac and Taylor would’ve been all over me saying, ‘Mommy’s going to take it all away,’ then they’d say stupid stuff like, ‘Think with the head that’s not in your pants’,” Zac said doing a perfect impression of Taylor.

“I can’t believe that, and Isaac’s the one who told you to apologize,” I said appalled.

“I know, they don’t mean any harm by it, they’re just trying to lighten the mood. They don’t get how much it hurts me. I love my brothers, but sometimes they just don’t seem to know when to stop,” Zac reached up to the stereo again and this time I let him. I couldn’t believe his brothers did that to him.

I think that a point was proven to me, Isaac and Taylor didn’t know Zachary Walker Hanson, they knew Zac, the drummer of a band called Hanson. I guess their family had been so wrapped up in all their fame and hard work that by the end the roles the guys started to play were starting to be believed at home.

That day was the first day I was thankful I hadn’t grown up a rock star. I also made a pledge to myself and Jordi; I was never going to let whatever was going on in our lives get in the way of being a mother to my daughter.

We pulled into the driveway and I told Zac to come with me. I took his hand and led him all the way up to our bedroom.

I felt so bad about not being able to have sex with him that I had come up with other ways to make him happy.

No, not that! Get your minds out of the gutter.

I had discovered a type of therapy to relax the body, mind, and soul. Actually, I had discovered remedy when I was fourteen and I was a faithful supporter of it.

Bubble baths. I made him sit down on the bed and I told him to stay there. I walked into the bathroom and started to run the water.

I knew exactly what temperature Zac liked the water, so once I had gotten that set, I started adding the ingredients to a perfect bubble bath. As soon as the bathtub was full of water and bubbles and bath salts, I turned the water off and walked back out to Zac.

Being as sensual as possible without crossing the line to sexual, I started to take off his clothes, inch by inch, piece by piece, until he was completely exposed.

I began to run my hands over his bare, tense muscles until a slight moan escaped his lips. I took his hands and pulled him to his feet. Then I led his into the bathroom and then motioned for him to get in the tub.

He eased himself into the water, sighing as the warmth moved over his body. I lowered myself to my knees next to the tub then grabbed one of our many natural sponges, and then I began to wash his body. I was just beginning to wash his back when he grabbed my wrist.

“What!? Did I do something wrong?” I asked, almost scared.

“What kind of man am I, who let’s his wife, who’s pregnant at that, kneel on the floor and take care of him. I am a sheer and utter bastard!” he exclaimed loudly aggravated with himself.

“Zac, honey, please don’t raise your voice, I don’t want Jordi to think that she’s coming into an angry home,” I said sounding stupid, but it seemed logical to me at the time.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he said to me then he put his wet hand on my protruding stomach, “I’m sorry my little angel. Your daddy does love you,” he spoke to my stomach in a sing-song voice.

“It’s okay, just what did I do wrong, so that I can fix it.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, you never do anything wrong,” Zac said bringing his knees up to his chin and looking down.

“Zac, honey,” I interrupted.

“No Dirb let me talk. You’ve been such a great wife and I’ve been a horrible husband. I go on the road and leave you on a bus just to sit there and wait for me to come back. What will that be like when Jordi is born and when we have other kids? I want to be a good dad and a good husband; I just can’t give up my music.

“Oh baby, the last thing you’d have to give up would be your music. I don’t want you to worry about this stuff, everyone else in the family has made it work, so I’m sure that we can too, I promise. Now, is there anything I can do for you,” I said using my desperate attempt to change the subject. I didn’t want Zac to know this, but I dreaded the decision we had to make about that.

“There is one thing I want you to do for me,” Zac replied finally looking at me.

“Just name it,” I told him.

“I want you to get in with me,” he said giving me that one puppy look that I could never say no to.

“Oh sweetie, I don’t know if I will be able to get in and out,” I said being totally honest.

“I’ll help you,” he said.

“Fine, but I have to light some candles and turn out the lights. It has to be a romantic moment.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” he agreed. I began to gather up all of he candles I could find between the bedroom and bathroom.

I then went back to the bathroom and started to light them with the lighter we kept in the bathroom.

As soon as all the candles were lit I turned off the overhead light, washing the room in semi-darkness. I then began to take off all of my clothes. After I was completely naked and feeling over-exposed, I placed my right foot over the wall of me and Zac’s vast bathtub. Zac, becoming aware that I was getting in stood up suddenly and took my hand, helping me into the tub and then he helped me ease myself down so that we were both sitting.

Zac had his legs open and I was sitting in between them with my back to his chest, leaning into his warm body.

I was reminded about just how much I truly loved him. The feeling of his strong body supporting mine made me realize how much he was truly there for me.

We talked so much about how he was a bad husband, but in all reality he wasn’t a bad husband. He never had been, he never would be, and even if he was, I wouldn’t love him any less. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his muscular forearms on the top off my bulging stomach and right below my breasts.

He kissed my cheek gently and then gently rested his chin on my left shoulder, so I laid my head back on his right shoulder.

“Mm,” I mumbled.

“Yes,” he replied back to my mutterings.

“I love you so much,” I said.

“Why’s that?” he asked. We had this conversation a lot, but it was nice to tell each other why we felt what we felt.

“Well, we’ll disregard the fact that you’re absolutely gorgeous. So, we’ll go on to the fact that you’re the sweetest man alive. You have saved me from myself more than once, and if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have life growing inside of me. That’s why I love you,” I said turning my head to kiss his cheek.

“I love you too honey,” he replied.

“Why?” I asked him.

“Well, we’ll disregard the fact that you’re absolutely gorgeous, so we’ll go on to the fact that you’re the sweetest woman alive. You have let me save you from yourself and then you are so supportive and you save me as well. And if it weren’t for you then I wouldn’t have a child on the way. That’s why I love you,” he said kissing my shoulder softly and manipulating my words to his emotions.

“I love you too,” I replied back to him.

“Why?” he asked.

“Baby, didn’t we just go through this,” I asked him kind of giggling a little bit.

“Yeah, but I like it when you tell me that you love me,” he said snuggling himself closer to me.

“I’ll never need a reason to tell you that I love you. Because I don’t need a reason to feel my love for you so you don’t have to coerce me into tell you that I love you, because I always will,” I said running my hand up his inner thigh.

A couple of hours later after the water had gotten cold and our bottoms had begun to hurt from the hard tub floor, Zac helped me out of the bathtub.

We dried each other off and ran a comb through each other’s hair.

Then we climbed into bed, not even bothering to put on clothes, that closeness that we were able to share was just too perfect to interrupt with things like clothes. I loved Zac more than I ever knew possible, he was my everything and that night I think he knew that as well.

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