Chapter Eight
Why do you run and hide?
–Say what you feel inside.
Why must you always fake it?
Girl you need to understand, your heart is safe within my hands,
And I promise I’ll never break it.
–‘N Sync, For The Girl Who Has Everything
Catherine jumped every time the doorbell rang. She was so nervous, so scared that it was Brian at the door. As much as she wanted to see him, she knew that she couldn’t; not with the situation that she was in. What would he think of her?
Catherine hastily washed the pots and pans and served the dishes on the table. Kevin, the dark and handsome one, commented on the delicious aroma. “My, if I knew better, I’d have eaten dinner without Brian.” His eyes smiled at her from under his thick eyebrows and made his way to the den to watch television with AJ and Howie, who had came earlier.
Nick followed her into the kitchen and took her arm. “Marie…” Catherine looked into his eyes, and knew she hurt him the other day, but she had no choice.
“Look, Nick, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s ok. I’m sorry. I can’t force you to love me. That guy is damn lucky to have you.” Nick forced a smile, but his heart screamed in pain. He had let himself fall in deep, too deep. There was no one else to blame but himself. “Can we remain friends?” Catherine nodded, giving him one of her smiles.
“Always.” She reached out and gave him a friendly hug. Nick shuddered, enjoying the closeness between them.
She pulled away and took her handbag and coat, which were on the couch.
“You’re not staying?” Catherine ached at the pleading tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry, Nick. I can’t. I have to go home, perhaps some other time?” Her eyes darted uneasily to the clock. She had to leave now; maybe she could tell Nick that she was quitting the next day. He seemed too emotional that night.
Nick helped her into her coat. Catherine opened the door, and looking up, she saw a pair of intense blue eyes staring into hers.
“Hel-lo,” the person said, smiling at her. “You must be my housekeeper.”
“Brian! Man, just in time. This is…”
At the mention of his name, Catherine stepped back, taking in a sharp intake of breath. She remembered the time when she had opened the door and found him standing there, waiting for her. Her hands turned cold and clumsy in surprise, and her handbag fell to the floor, spilling out all its contents.
Both Brian and Nick bent down and picked up her belongings. Catherine bent down too, afraid that Brian would see something that would give her away. She looked for the necklace which she had kept in her handbag; she found it near Brian’s feet. Just as she reached out for it, Brian took it. The three of them stood up and Nick handed her the handbag.
Brian held the necklace in his hands, staring at it, stroking the heart locket with the initials, ‘CB’. His blue eyes seemed to glisten. His voice turned hoarse. “How…how did you get…?” he asked, looking at her. He stopped in mid sentence, staring at those familiar green eyes. Nick stood between them, confused.
“Brian, it’s hers. Give it back, she’s got to hurry home.” Catherine looked down, choking back a sob. She may have dyed her hair auburn, but those eyes…those eyes will never disguise her. Brian clutched his heart, like he was afraid he might faint or break down anytime.
“C-Cat? Is it you?”
Nick looked on, feeling angry. “Brian…stop this nonsense. Her name’s Marie…”
Catherine looked up, unable to hide her love, her longing in her eyes. But she couldn’t stay. Couldn’t tell him it was her, couldn’t tell him the truth. “I-I’m afraid, you’ve got th-the wrong person,” she stuttered, as she pushed past him and ran out, disappearing into the darkness.
“Catherine!” he cried, but she had run away from him, again. He was determined not to let her go. He turned to Nick, who stood there, brow furrowed in annoyance. “Nick…her address, you have it?” Nick looked away.
“Yes.” Brian held his arm.
“Give it to me, please.”
“Brian, I don’t know what just happened over here but…”
“JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN ADDRESS!” he yelled, as he pushed Nick against a wall. His blue eyes flashed with anger, glistened with unshed tears, and his gentle face contorted into a scowl. Nick gave out a yelp. Though Brian was smaller than he was in build, he was strong.
He saw the rest of the guys coming out of the den. “What…Brian... Woah…cool it.” AJ said, trying to get Brian to release Nick.
Howie stepped forward and put his hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Stop it.” He whispered gently. Brian’s grip on Nick tightened, then slowly softened. He buried his face into his hands and sat down heavily.
“I, I’m sorry, Frack. It’s just that…she is Catherine! Cat! The one who left me eight years ago…the one who left me without a reason…she is the one! Can’t you remember?”
Nick looked at Brian. So Marie…was Catherine, his childhood best friend, the one he had talked about, boasted about. The one that Brian had loved endlessly for eight years. Brian was the one that Marie…Catherine loved. Brian all along. She loved his best friend and had refused his love because of him.
Nick gave out a sigh, and took out a piece of paper out of his wallet. “Take it.” Brian seized it, and mumbling a hasty thank you, he rushed out.
“What was THAT all about, Nick…Nick? Are you all right?” Kevin asked, looking at Nick who had collapsed onto the couch. He kept his hand over his eyes, afraid that he will break down in front of them. He couldn’t imagine Catherine and Brian together. He had always thought that Catherine would be his someday. Now, it all seemed a matter of the past that never existed.
“I’m fine.” He whispered. But he lied.
* * *
Brian looked at the doors of apartments before him. He looked at the piece of paper in his hands and the number on the door. ‘709’, he thought to himself. He gave a quick knock on the wooden door. Moments later, the door opened. A cute blond child stood before him, hiding behind the door.
“Uh…is Catherine here?” The blond child smiled at him.
“I’m sorry, but Mama’s not home.” Brian took in a deep breath. He could see the similarities in looks; curly thick blond hair…green eyes… the child actually looked like Cat’s brother.
“Uh…Mama?” Fear gripped his heart. Was he too late?
“Yes…she’s my mother.” He noticed that a middle aged woman stood behind the child.
“I’m Mrs. Thomas. You are looking for Catherine? Your name?” she asked, in disbelief. No one had ever looked up Catherine before, except for her father last week. She still wondered about what the old man wanted to say.
“I’m Brian Littrell. A friend of hers. May I come in? Please, I’ll explain to you.”
Mrs. Thomas smiled to herself. Catherine had told her about Brian. She opened the door wider. Tommy reached out his little hand to Brian, grinning a toothless grin. Smiling at him, he grasped the little hand in his big ones and entered the apartment.
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