Chapter Seven
Isn’t it hard, standing in the rain?
You’re on the verge of going crazy, and your heart’s in pain.
No one can hear but you’re screaming out loud.
You feel like you’re all alone in a faceless crowd.
–Hanson, Weird
“Hello, may I speak to Marie?”
“Err…yes? Who’s this?”
“Marie, it’s Nick. Are you all right? You haven’t come over for a couple of days.”
Catherine could almost feel his concern for her and she berated herself for acting so rashly, but she just couldn’t bring herself to step into the house again. She’d been outside the house twice two days ago, but she never did have the courage to step in.
“I’m all right, really. Just felt a little sick. Feeling better today.”
“If you’re feeling ok…thought if you wanted to go out with me and buy some curtains for Brian, he needs those.”
“I…” Catherine faltered, not knowing what to say. “He’s not back yet?”
“No, he’ll be back tomorrow evening.” There was a pause. “So…?”
“I’ll be glad to be of help.” Catherine decided to ask him another question, which had been on her mind. “Who is Brian to you?”
“Brian’s my best friend. Oh…and I need another favor. Can you cook? I really need your help to make dinner for Brian when he returns tomorrow. A kind of like, welcome back dinner. We’re having it with the other guys. Please? I really need your help. The other guys and me are hopeless cooks!”
Catherine hesitated. There was a risk that she might run into Brian that evening, but it was the least she could do for Nick’s help and generosity. She could prepare dinner earlier and leave before Brian reached home. Then she could just tell Nick that she wanted to quit because of…personal reasons.
“Marie? If you can’t, then…” Nick’s voice sounded uncertain.
“No, Nick. I’d love to.”
* * *
Nick carried the shopping bags and walked beside Catherine. He noticed that she had been looking very tired and worried. “Are you all right? We could get the ingredients for the food tomorrow morning,” he asked, peering at Catherine from under his cap.
“I’m all right. Brian’s coming home tomorrow right? We’d better get the food today. That way I won’t rush,” she answered, feeling a stab of pain every time she said the name Brian. It brought back many memories of the past. Her heart was still full of love, long kept passions were rekindled back again now that she knew he was just a distance from her, but many questions remain unanswered. Was he already married, engaged, had a girlfriend? Would he want her now if he meet her, so impure and dirty? Would he want her now that she had a child who was committed out of incest?
Nick saw pain shadowing her green eyes. He took her arm and steered her into quite an empty café. “Why are we here?” She questioned, as Nick forced her to sit down in a booth.
“You’re tired, and you’re worried. You should take a break. I’ll get the ingredients tomorrow,” he said, as he ordered two cups of coffee for the both of them. He took off his cap and sunglasses and seated himself across her. Catherine was about to protest when he put a finger to her lips. “You’re working under me, listen to me, just once, all right?” he whispered, intense blue eyes gazing into hers.
Catherine looked down, feeling hot under his scrutinizing. Slowly, Nick’s thumb ran softly along the outline of her lips. Catherine pushed his fingers gently away. Undeterred, his fingers went down to her chin and tilted her face up to his. “No, Nick,” she whispered, but he didn’t seem to hear. He was about to reach across the table to kiss her when abruptly, she pushed him back. “Nick, no. The coffee…” she said, as she let the waiter serve them. Nick pulled back, embarrassed. He gave the waiter a tip, and when he was gone, reached across the table to hold Catherine’s hand.
“Marie…” Catherine pulled her hand away.
“Nick, no.” Nick slammed the tabletop with his palm. He ran a hand along his thick blond hair.
“Damnit, Marie…what’s the matter? I like you, you like me...”Catherine folded her hands in her lap.
“I’m sorry if I have led you on, but…my feelings for you…are just…”Catherine fumbled around for an answer, looking for a way to say it as nicely as possible.
“Mutual? Platonic?” Nick whispered, as he crossed his arms and looked at her across the table. Catherine nodded. “But Marie, we can change that! I’ve liked you since I saw you! Please don’t say no to me!” he pleaded, his eyes searching her face for an answer.
Catherine slowly took a sip of her coffee. “There are just…just too many things you don’t know about me. Too many differences. Things that you don’t want to know, Nick.” Nick’s blue eyes turned to ice in anger.
“Excuses, excuses Marie! Why can’t you just tell me those things? Why are you making things so difficult for me…for us?” Nick covered his eyes with his hands.
“Nick, sometimes, it’s better not to know everything. The truth hurts, Nick. Please, you’ll know sooner or later. Nick…?”
Catherine looked concernedly at him. He was still covering his face with his hands. Catherine’s heart ached for him, but it wasn’t fair to him if she said she loved him when her heart was still with someone else. Slowly, his hands dropped to his lap. His eyes were glistening in the light.
“You’re keeping something from me. Are you in love with someone else?”
“Nick, I…”
“Just tell me! Are you in love with someone else?” he whispered fiercely through clenched teeth.
A single tear spilled from Catherine’s eyes. She looked down at her hands. She took a deep breath, and then hesitated. “Yes.” Her voice was so soft it was barely a whisper.
But Nick heard it, loud and clear. He stood up, put on his cap and glasses and gathered the shopping bags. “You should have told me, Marie. You could have spared me the pain,” he said softly, as he walked towards the entrance.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll meet you back at the house tomorrow.” Without a backward glance, he walked away from her.
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