You know what I don't understand? China. I mean, its China. There's like 2 billion people there, but it's China. Who would want to live there? It's all, like, chinese. Yet there's like 2 billion people there, still. I don't understand. So anyways, I was sitting in History, plotting to kill my teacher, when suddenly, Gumby came on the PA system, and made the following announcement: "'She is not allowed to eat sweeties;but if you like to give her the pretty box with the pink sugar rose in it, she would like it very much,' said Mrs. Jo, unwilling to spoil this unusual piece of self-denial, for the "fat boy" seldom offered to share his sugar plums." Suddenly Gumby was cut off and there was the sound of a struggle and gunfire and the unmistakable voice of Pokey screaming "You Mother-bitch! That's what you get for eating out my--" and the PA system was shut off. I went back to plotting ways to kill my teacher. It wasn't long until the fire alarm went off. Definitely the work of Lucinda, the lesbian ghost who haunts the boy's bathroom. I met up with her one day, and was like "Lucinda! If you're a lesbian ghost, why don't you try the girl's bathroom?" "What?" she screamed, and then morphed into Sailor Moon and flew away. Whatever. That reminds me of the time that I was watching Digimon, and Agumon turned into my mom and told me to clean my room. I was quite startled, until my mom came out from behind the tv and i realized that THAT'S how she had done it. Like in the old Ninja Turtles cartoon, where Shredder would be watching his monitor, and then Donatello would appear on it and threaten him, then it would shut off, and he would come out from behind the TV. As if there's some camera back there or something, how the hell do they get on the TV by being in back of it? I mean I know you can be on TV for being in back of an elephant, but that's not important...or is it?.....No, its really not. So anyways, back to the story of me playing four square against Lowly, the stupid worm from the Richard Scarry cartoon. He only has one leg, and no genetilia, I'll give you that. So I was in four square, he was in three square, 2 square was occupied by the kid from Speed Racer and Nicole Kidman was in 1 square. But then she died so one square was taken by the Trix Rabbit. He smokes a LOT of pot, that trix rabbit. Trix are for kids my ass, that bunnies smoked more grass than he's eaten. anyways, so I served the ball to Trix, and it hit him in the face. All of the sudden, he like went ape-shit and started swearing about how he couldn't get any of the damn cereal he advertised, and his wife had had 3 children with that no-good Peter Rabbit, you know, the slut who snuck into the garden and stole carrots. So Trix was out, I think he ended up dying. So Princess Jasmine came into 1 square and by this time I was getting sick of this. I served and she made a nice hit to Speed Racer, who picked it up and threw it at Lowly. Lowly was about to call a "carry" but the ball smashed him into the pavement, and he died. I won. I always win. Kind of like that kid in my art class. I'm not sure what his real name is, but we call him Fat Mess. I mean he's a fat mess. He's fat, and he's a mess. No other way to put it. He's fat too. And he eats babies. Ohh! I never told you about my fish, Milton. Man, he's psycho. There's nothing like a psycho goldfish. He used to jump out of his tank and run around the house, screaming, "Rupert! These crumpets you've prepared are simply DIVINE! DIVINE! That's right, Megatron! Your end has come, and your pet calico is doomed! Yes, Yes! Goodbye, vegetables. The time has come to DIE! In the words of Betsy Ross, first maker of the American Flag, 'I'm going to KILL YOU!'" He ran around like that until I shot him and flushed him down the toilet. But that was after my trip down the Mississippi River. I packed a lot of corn meal for that trip. I don't think I never even made it to the river. It's a funny thing, those rivers. You pack all the corn meal, yet you never seem to quite make it to the river. Do you? Nope. I've never made it to the river....Still got my corn meal, though.