She's a stupid girl. I never understood how she made it up a grade level each year. I mean what the fuck can she do? Exactly. No, you were right the first time. No, NO THE FIRST TIME, you stupid moron....YES, yes that's what you said, yes that's exactly right. So, going with what you said, she really can't do much can she. maybe some makeup, and....well yeah that's about it. Speaking of makeup--nevermind, that wasn't going anywhere. So Amber's an idiot. She laughs at everything out of lack of ability and intelligence to do anything else. I love how she's an asshole to everyone, and then wonders why no one likes her. well she knows no one likes her, but she's still "popular", 'cept not. Sometimes I just want to go up to her and say, "Amber, You might think you're the coolest person around, but don't forget about Sabrina Miller of Des Moines, Iowa. She has a hedgehog." Then she'd explode. But not a bloody explosion, a fiery one. Actually, bloody AND fiery. Yeah. moving on. So she explodes and I leave the room with Buffy. Now SHE'S an interesting character. Actually, I'm lying, she doesn't even go to my school. I just made that up. But I WASN'T lying about Jenny, the psycho lunchlady. She actually killed a kid because he left without his 1 cent change for a 99 cent fruit roll-up. Tommy I think his name was. Or maybe it was Nadine. Anyways, She has this insane collection of "Nutritional Breakfast" posters. You know, all the ones advertising a healthy breakfast and all that. As if anyone cares. They're all over the cafeteria. Any kid who's ever laid hands on one with negative intent for it has vanished, and later turned up in a dumpster somewhere feeling alone and violated. I don't touch the things, the posters. I don't mess with the psycho lunchlady. I believe that she and Grimace are a secret couple. No one believes me though, especially when I tell them I'm having their illegitimate child. Which, when you think about it, IS quite possible, is it not? I mean, how would you know? I actually did have an illegitimate child with someone once. I think it was Carrie Donovan, the old lady from the Old Navy commercials with the big glasses. But the child turned out to be one of those "Fry Kids" from the McDonalds commercials, so i shipped it back there for it to be slaughtered and turned into America's Favorite Fries. Did somebody say McDonalds? Kids can be a hassle at times, and very tasty at others. Especially with ketchup. I hate when they ask me if I want any of their nasty sauces for fries. No one wants them. Just Ketchup. What the hell is Duck Sauce anyway? I'm not even going to go into that. It reminds me of the time that I was sitting in History in 9th grade and we all started throwing candy apples at the teacher. I think he died. Anyways, after my dog told the punchline, I've never heard people laugh so hard. He's a very witty dog, very sharp. His jokes are funny and his literary criticism essays are scathing and to the point. Kind of like those old DeskJet printers that would randomly print naked women when all you needed was a school report. I think those were classic, top of the line practical jokes. Too bad they were recalled. Same with those Episode I lightsabers that were recalled because kids were burning themselves..Okay, one word... THEY WERE PLASTIC, you stupid idiots! How could you burn yourself on plastic? It lit up, it didn't heat up. You spoiled little assholes just wanted an excuse to send them back when you found out they weren't real! Yeah that's right Mortimer, THEY'RE NOT REAL! God, kids are so stupid sometimes, especially if they're Fry Kids. The only person more negative than that is Oscar the Grouch. Who the hell is he to criticize anyone? He lives in a freakin' trash can. He's all obnoxious and it's just like, "Go play in a microwave, Oscar". I mean, really. God. What is the world coming to?