A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker get captured by cannibals.
The Chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've
caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you
in a pot and cook you, then we'll eat you, and then we'll use your skins to
build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchmand cries "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief hands him a gun, the Englishman points it at his head saying "God save the Queen!", and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, sides, chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing all over the place, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled and asks, "God almighty, what are you doing?"
The New Yorker sneers and says, "So much for your canoe, you jerk!!"