Granpappy McGee
"I like the snow, the green grass is nice too. I ride to the top, on my goat." sang Granpappy McGee as he began his early morning alpine expedition. Riding high upon his fully-loaded milk goat, Mrs. Stamper. This goat named for his unpredictable and uncontrolable stamping fits. Granpappy himself was a short, Scottish bagpiper type. He had a long grey beard and wore a kilt. He's a very short-tempered, half-deaf old gaffer.
Well this particular spring day Granpappy was on his way up the mountain to blow his yodeling horn. He just had an urge to blow his horn and yell at stuff. You see kids, Granpappy isn't quite right in the noodle.
Although it was spring, the high altitude allowed for a brisk spring snow. "Dag nabit!" cursed Granpappy,"My dandruff is cold today." Whack, whack. Granpappy brushed the flakes of snow off his mop so he could put his golf hat back on. "Much better, yes. I've got to be presentable. Won't do to have scalp dust fluttering about as I trot along on this nice green trail. Say! Why does it still come offa mah head? Stopit! Ya hear me?!" Granpappy raised a fist and socked himself in the ear. It didn't stop snowing. "Ah well. you won't tell anyone will ya Mrs. Stamper?" "Grunt." "I'll take that as an, O.K."
"Snort." Granpappy McGee took in a deep breath of frosty afternoon mountain air. "Golly, we're almost there." Trot, trot, trot, skreech! "We're there."
"Wow...yust lookit." Is not it vunderful?" The two swooned as they looked down upon the scenery. As Granpappy raised his gaze he spied sumthin'. "HEY! Whut you lookin' at?!"
Granpappy spotted the moon peeping at him. He raised his fist and shook it violently. "Quit yer gawkin' ya peeping tom! There's nothin' ta see here, so goway!"
"Isn't that peculiar?" thought Mrs. Stamper,"It isn't even night time yet." "Hey! Shut up ya damned goat! What do you know anyway?!", Granpappy was getting peeved,"I can yodel at whoever I want...observe: Yodel-odel-eh-hee-hoo!"
Just then the Goat started having a fit and the echo of granpappy's yodeling added to it. "Oh shit. Avalanche." they said simultaneously. "Our mountain shack will be snowed over." "Well I didn't want to go home anyhow. Let's ride off into the moonlight instead." "Agreed."
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