The Neighborhood of NED "Dun, dun, DUN!" Day3

"Hello, come in Wadsworth." Ken replied quickly. "Eh? What's that? No, no. I'm not Wadsworth. Wait, let me check...nope, not him. Nope, certainly not." Said ??? "What? that's impossible! Who is this?" said Ken in a frantic and demanding voice. "Calm down sonny. Why, it's your own dear Grandad." said Granpappy. "alright old man, fess up. I thought I told you not to mess with my top secret equipment. What are you doing? Did you take your pills today?" nagged Ken. "What pills?," asked Granpappy, honestly not knowing about any pills."Well I went over to Fat Daves." "You went to the Rat CAve!?" "Yes, yes. the Fat Cave. And well, I saw buncha doo-dads that looked like they needed some messin' with...wait a minute! SHHHEET! I think I'm getting something." "FZZT." "Granpappy, speak up. I'm losing you." said Ken."Fzzt, fzz, underwear. no, no, that's no it, tzzzz, fzzt, under, ftzzph, there, fzz, under, fzztz, you, zzzzzzzt." "Beep!" "Hello!?Hello!!" cried Ken. "Well I guess my being on another dimensional plane isn't helping my reception any,"reasoned Ken," but what does it all mean!? Underwear! Huh!? I haven't wet my shorts in hours. I'm all alone in a strange place. Is this a reason to be scared? No...yes!" that all too familiar sensation of relief and embarassment was creeping up on Ken. "Oh fiddle-dee-dee!" He looked down to see a small puddle origionating from his pantleg.

"Get ahold of yourself man! OK! Let's see. Underwear, they're wet. Under there. Underwhere?" Just then a group if small blue and pink fuzzy creatures started laughing. "Oh shut up. It was inevitable. Ok, let's try again. Under me. Ken looked down at the wet concrete. Wait a minute!...Wet concrete! The sewer! The fuzzy creatures circled around him amd began chanting...
"good luck good Ken
good luck good Ken
you'll never find the sewer again
in a strange world with no friends
with no hopes and a red rear end
the way time flows here moves and bends
you'll live and breathe without an end
good luck good Ken, there is no end
stay here with us we'll be thy friend."

"Thanks talking puff balls. I know you mean well, but I've got friends far away that'll miss me. I can't just give up...besides, can't you smell the French bread?"

Creatures:"OH"

Ken followed his nose to the scent of French cuisine and found the inter-dimensional manhole in no time." Someone's in the kitchen with Di-na, someone's in the kitchen I know-o-o-o- someone's in the...Oh, ho, ho! bonjour Ken! How's things? It is I, Pierre, your intrevu-dimensiónal travelér via la sewér. What takes you out of the neighborhüd?" "Oh Pierre, am I ever glad to see you" said Ken joyously. "I am also happy to see you, amigo. You've been away for over 2 years you know." "Oh no. I'd better be getting home. I might miss Brunch!"exclaimed Ken. "Direct me home Pierre, por favor." "But of course kid! Go straight that-a-way for 21 knots, take a left if the wind is at least 20MPH west. If not keep going stright and take your 197th right no matter what the weather conditions. Then turn around in a circle 16 times and walk forward 9 steps. Click your heels together 666 times and say,'there's no meal like brunch, there's no meal like brunch...'" "there's no meal like brunch, there's no meal like brunch, there's no meal like brunch, there's..." "SLAP!" Ken awoke with a start. "Snap out of it stupid! Decided to join us did ya? What the hell were you doing in the middle of the street? You've been gone quite a while. I was beginning to worry about you. C'mon. It's time for Lunch." said Ken's mama. "DAMN." said Ken.

stories

main page

wasn't that a lovely story?

Email: write me

©1999