Every generation faces the same questions. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is the sky blue? How many ducks can fit in a shopping cart? A group of ISU students decided to tackle the latter of these cosmic enigmas in an event they aptly called "Shopping for Ducks" last Thursday evening.
'Shopping for ducks.!' is what Lance told me when he arrived. Wow. It was like a revelation. I knew we had to do it then," said Earl.
A week later, they assembled a team to accomplish the task and find out their shopping cart's duck capacity. The team calls itself the Gyration Nation. It is unknown where the shopping cart came from, though most Chubbuck backyards come with them.
It was an action-packed and emotional experience for members of G-Nation. Many diving catches were matched by evasive duck maneuvers. One of the biggest challenges was catching a massive white duck given to their foster care by police.
Apparently Chubbuck police apprehended the aggressive stray duck in the area and had no options but to leave it with G-Nation. or euthanasia. Though it took time to get past the initial ostracism from the smaller brown mallards, the big white duck is happy in its new home.
Some of the duck shoppers felt a bond being formed with their pets and web-footed friends. "When you catch them, you learn to respect them," said team member Bryce "Mallard" Millward. However, team member Sammy Silva had no such problem.
"I'm able to put up an emotional barrier. Personally, I call it reality," he commented.
Some of their ducks ramble in and out. Ducks differ from other migratory waterfowl, in that they are not led by instinct to fly south in the winter, as geese do, but learn from their parents. Thus it is possible to domesticate ducks by clipping only the first generation's wings. The subsequent generations will learn from parents to stay in place over the winter if they are provided with food and water, said Earl. He also has some interesting theories about how ducks mate.
The G Nation originally learned how to wrangle ducks from watching a duck rodeo on the cable network TNN. Though none of the members aspire to careers in duck rodeo, they try to incorporate the best techniques. Though ducks, with legs toward the back of their bodies, are better suited for swimming than running, it still requires athletic prowess to grab one. Sometimes you’ve got to dive.
"We were a little nervous initially, having heard about duck catching casualties before. People get mangled," said Christison. He uses a technique he describes as trapping it to the ground and then whispering sweet nothings into its ear.
The most veteran duck shopper of the team is Chris Porter, who uses special gripping gloves and gently "folds the wings in, moving the hands over the head." Once their vision is blocked, they calm right down. Porter also extolled the entertainment value of ducks.
"When I hear people say they are bored, I would answer, 'What do you mean there's nothing to do in Pocatello?' People who say that aren't creative enough with their livestock."
"So much depends upon the steel shopping cart, frosted with snow, standing beside the brown mallards," as poet William Carlos Williams almost said.
The team managed to get 11 ducks into their shopping cart in two minutes and 28 seconds. With more training, they estimate maxing out with 22 ducks in the shopping cart.
