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Monstervision

Monstervision Movie Reviews and Host Segments, and 100% Wierd Listings for your viewing pleasure this month
Hi, how ya doin?

Welcome to the Mostervision page.

FAQ (frequently asked question): What's the difference between Monstervision on TNT and Mystery Science Theater 3000 (still showing in reruns @ 9am each Saturday) on the Sci-Fi channel?
Monster jokes "There are 3 types of people in the world - those who are good at math and those who aren't."

Past movies have included Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, all 3 Poltergeist movies (in a row, the same night), Back to the Future, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, The Dead Zone, Christine, and even a couple of films they also made fun of on MST3K...
Following the Monstervision movie or movies was a film that TNT considers "100% Wierd". Sometimes it has something to do with the evening's selection (2 Godzilla movies were followed by "All Monsters Attack") and sometimes not. Sometimes "100% Wierd" is just a short film about Bigfoot ... which is about 50% wierd. Or the classic Japanese TV-series Ultra 7, or Gilligan's Island, which is just plain silly. Each summer, Professor Joe Bob Briggs would conduct his own Summer School

These movies continue to run on TNT, TBS, and even the Sci Fi Channel in their original form. Simply print out the host segments for the movie when it comes around and read Joe Bob's comments on each segment as you watch the movie. It's the next best thing to having Joe Bob on the couch next to you...

Books by Joe Bob Briggs are available from this Amazon.com direct link

In addition to being Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision, John Bloom also appeared on Comedy Central's Daily Show to comment on Godstuff. John Bloom's Godstuff page at Comedy Central. John Bloom does most or all of his own writing

Previous Monstervision listings (2003)

Movies previously seen on Monstervision scheduled on other channels (click title for Monstervision review & host segments, if available). Times shown before 7am are considered night of previous day, so you can set your VCR before going to sleep.
December 2006
November 2006
August 2006
Terrorists hijack a 747 and are headed toward Washington D.C. with U.S. military jets flying behind, waiting permission to fire, in the Kurt Russell movie Executive Decision (1996) on Cinemax at various times
InDemand, various times: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) and The Incredible Hulk (2003)
Starz is showing "Aliens" Sunday night @ 12:45am, click here for Joe Bob's review of Alien & Aliens

Got your tickets for the Superbowl yet? Joe Bob used to show Black Sunday ever January, and this January it will be on Cinemax...I don't remember who sponsored it on MonsterVision each year but it probably wasn't Goodyear
Anyone know a good sitter? MonsterVision's Sitter is a little psycho

Mystery @ 11am Mon-Fri Night Gallery episodes, sometimes repeated late night / early morning when noted

There are former MonsterVision movies on the following entire-month channel's pages. Whenever possible, I have changed the movie titles on these pages to MonsterVision host segments links:
American Movie Classics ... Turner Classic Movies ... Flix
Action channel ... Encore ... Mystery channel ... Starz ... Wam!

Make A Living Online Click here for a free 5-page report: high quality online marketing advice (with no fluff) from a guy who has been making his living on the internet since 1996

Surfing the web while at work? Click here for a message from Sgt. Joe Friday

John Cleese (3rd Rock From The Sun) on the Titanic: "The boat sank, let it go"

There was a minor earthquake in California on Monday, 12/22. Some damage, but nothing like in the 100% Weird movie Earthquake, and southern California didn't fall into the ocean like in Escape From L.A.

Get your kicks on Route 666 with Lori Petty as Tank Girl
Host segments now added for Zone Troopers, Joe Bob's favorite World War 2/aliens/UFO/monster movie with Timothy Van Patten

Fun fact: The Vincent Price movie "War-Gods Of The Deep" (1965) was inspired by Poe's "City In The Sea." Price's 1961 movie "Master Of The World" was based on a Jules Verne story, though Verne's giant airship was replaced by a gunship held aloft by multiple pairs of giant helicopter rotors to make it look more like sci-fi and less like a WW1 zeppelin
Or would you rather join Count Floyd, Joe Bob and Rhonda Shear In The Mouth Of Madness

And Showtime's showing Pinocchio's Revenge again, a demented R-rated "Child's Play" wannabe

See TV Listings for this month's 11am-4pm marathons on the SciFi Channel (TV Guide no longer has SciFi listings before 5pm daily)

Is the world about to end? Check out MonsterVision host segments for The Seventh Sign as Joe Bob reviews Demi Moore's version of "The Omen" as Hollywood envisions the signs leading to the end of the world, with a bit of "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Exorcist" plots thrown in. Not that Joe Bob would ever talk about Godstuff

Monstervision host segments have now been fully restored for Barbarella, Queen of the Universe (1968) starring Jane Fonda. Check it out as Joe Bob tries to make sense of Roger Vadim's weirdest movie

Sci-Fi Channel ... USA Network

Quick, name the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up John Candy... Joe Bob looks at MonsterVision's Hercules Goes Bananas aka "Hercules In New York" (1970)

MonsterVision host segments for Voodoo (starring those two goonie kids dabbling in black magic) have been fully restored and linked to TNT's Voodoo description page

What's kung fu like in spanish? Tune in Telemundo for movies like Big Trouble in Little China...it's fun! Big Trouble In Little China was, of course, last seen on MonsterVision in 1997 following Theodore Rex. They've also shown Universal Soldier starring Jean Claude Van Damme, a man who already needs sub-titles in English

Joe Bob Briggs of MonsterVision and Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 review Twister, with a nod to Beastmaster and Independence Day

Joe Bob forgives Eddie Murphy & Wes Craven for Vampire In Brooklyn. "I try not to hold grudges. It's not healthy."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's official website

Joe Bob's reviews of the 1st 4 Police Academy
Joe Bob Briggs defends Dinner & A Movie ... sort-of Dinner & Movie themesong from their website
Note: movies listed for UPN and WB networks are sometimes preempted by local programs or even professional wrestling

Don't know the exact date & time? Click here for cool version of time & date
Click here if you've finally gotten the voice of Jar Jar Binks out of your head

School's out for summer!

The O.J. Simpson Trial as told by Dr. Seuss

Remember the past MonsterVision movie Troll (1986)? Remember the name of the kid who goes for help to a good witch (June Lockhart) after the evil troll turns Sonny Bono into a giant cucumber? The kid's name was Harry Potter Jr. - Amazon.com sold a million copies of the latest Harry Potter novel in one day, an on-line record for any product by any company. By the way, Junior's dad, Harry Potter, was played by Michael Moriarty. Try that out on the next trivia expert you meet. "Name the 1986 movie that starred Michael Moriarty as Harry Potter"

Click here for animated cartoon of Alien on a Hot Tin Roof

Turner Classic Movies has past MonsterVision movies Golden Voyage of Sinbad and Sinbad & The Eye Of The Tiger, a Harryhausen double-feature!

Excuse me for a moment, Joe Bob's Ghoulies are acting up again

Beetlejuice shows up on cable quite often, so I've added some more audioclips to that page.

Here by mistake? Click Here to return to your previous page anywhere on the internet (how cool is that link?)

AFI has announced results of the 100 Greatest Heroes and Villains poll, and Arnold the Terminator made both lists!

Why was the war with Iraq so easy? Joe Bob says it's because everybody got so jazzed watching Top Gun! If you missed this broadcast, Leon in host segments is played by Mr. Carlin (Jack Reilly) from the Bob Newhart Show. Still wearing the same hairpiece

Sorry I haven't kept this updated every day. My Doppelganger has been acting up lately.

Morons From Outer Space is on TMC this month. Click here if you don't know where the Dixie Chicks are from

Evolution vs. Creationism. Did dinosaurs and humans co-exist? Where does Professor Joe Bob stand on this vital question? Check out host segments of One Million Years B.C. starring Raquel Welch's talents (and some dinosaurs). Or would you rather visit Jurassic Park

The James Bond page has been improved by adding visible text (why doesn't anyone tell me these things?)

Joe Bob's review & drive-in totals have been added for Galaxis (not to be confused with Galaxina) and for Halloween 5 (not to be confused with Joe Bob's other Halloween movie reviews)

Joe Bob's review & drive-in totals available for Supergirl and for Sheena, Queen of the Jungle

Host segments have now been added to Skeeter, and most recent MonsterVision host segments (2000) for Planet Of The Apes have replaced the 1999 MonsterVision SummerSchool version. Joe Bob Briggs has also reviewed the low-budget adult movie Playmate Of The Apes that spoofs it including a Kim Hunter look-alike.

Frankenstein page (1931) by TCM, with link to Joe Bob's review
Review & host segment for What's Up Tiger Lily now posted

Had enough war? Visit "Zor and Zam"

Joe Bobís Arab doís and doníts - you can join the Delta Force, but donít show your feet to an Arab!

Why do the Frogs have a monopoly on wine? Click here for Joe Bobís secret plan to sic the land of Mad Max on the Hussein-lovers!

Joe Bob Briggs Bride Of Re-Animator review
Joe Bob Briggs review of Roger Cormanís dinosaur epic Carnosaur.

Arnold Schwarzenegger on social success: "Work hard, stay focused, and marry a Kennedy"

A song parody link has been to the bottom of the Big Trouble In Little China page that's...well...you have to hear it to believe it

The two blond jokes have been restored to host segments of Ghoulies 2

Joe Bob's review of Vampire Cop
Got O.J.? Capricorn One does, the MonsterVision feature from November 1997

Joe Bob's review of "La Femme Nikita", remade in the U.S. as "Point Of No Return" MonsterVision Host segments for Point Of No Return


Hey you Hee Haw fans!

Click Above To Translate
This Page Into - HILLBILLY !

Or Click here for to translate the whole URL page into Meskin (Spanish) or other European words
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Well, I checked with PayPal, and no one's made a donation to keep this website up & running, and Amazon.com only pays 5% on their link sales, so I guess it's time to sell some MonsterVision videos now that I've dubbed all the host segments onto audiotape (it's easier to transcribe them that way).
Here's what I've got, all at full SPeed on T120 or T160 brand-name tapes:
"Alien 3" (1992) from 9-13-97
Body Armor (end cut off) 4-22-00, see posted Host segments
Big Trouble In Little China, 10-19-97, see posted Host segments
Barbarella (1967) 9-13-97, see posted Host segments
Back To The Future, 10-98, see later posted Host segments
Carrie, with 10-30-99 host segments looking for the Nair Witch Project, see later posted Host segments

Child's Play 2, with 10-30-99 Nair Witch Project host segments, see earlier posted Joe Bob's review of movie only
Phantasm, with 10-30-99 Nair Witch host segments (end cut off, did they ever find the Witch?)
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (end cut off) 5-00, see posted Host segments
Conan the Destroyer, 11-1-97, different host segments than posted Host segments
Capricorn One, 11-15-97 Capricorn One page
Dragnet (1987), missed intro segment 9-11-99, see posted Host segments
The Devil's Rain (1975) 9-11-99, see posted Devil's Rain page
Spielberg's "Duel" (1971) 8-1-98
Forbidden Planet 8-99, guest Anne Francis, see posted Host segments
Galaxis (1995)see posted Host segments
Godzilla (1956) and Godzilla Vs. Mothra, 5-23-98
Hercules In New York (1970, aka Hercules Goes Bananas), 11-1-97
Elvira host segments for The Human Duplicators, end cut off/joined in progress, posted Host segments
Halloween 2, for description see Halloween 2
Leviathan (1989 version, joined in progress), see posted Host segments
Mars Attacks! 8-99, see posted Host segments
Prehistoric Women (1967, end cut off), 5-98, by the writer/director of One Million Years B.C.
Somewhere In Time (end cut off), Christopher Reeve
Swamp Thing, 2-98, different than posted Host segments
Ice T in "Surviving The Game" (end cut off, remake of "Most Dangerous Game"), 7-25-98 with Joe Bob's in-studio guest Ice T
Star Trek 2:The Wrath Of Khan, 4-99, see posted Host segments
Spaceballs (Mel Brooks SW spoof), 1-15-00, see posted Host segments. Comb the desert!
Theodore Rex, 10-19-97 you've got to smell the roses
Teen Wolf (the one with Michael J. Fox), 2-98
Troll (from the makers of Ghoulies)
John Carpenter's They Live (1988), 8-98 with guest Roddy Piper
Vincent Price's "Theatre Of Blood" 1-17-97, see posted Host segments
The Time Machine, 5-99, see posted Host segments
Time After Time, 5-99, see posted Host segments
Time After Time, different 1998 host segments
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994) 7-18-98, guest Wes Craven (by phone, low audio)
Wes Craven's New Nightmare, 10-31-97, different host segments
WarGames (1983), 8-22-98, guest Colonel David Hackworth, see posted Host segments
Red Dawn, 8-22-98, guest Col. Hackworth
When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth (1970 official sequel to One Million Years BC), 5-98
Willy Wonka, 8-98 host segments, see posted Host segments
Willy Wonka, 4-98 host segments, guest is film's director (by phone, low audio)
What's Up Tiger Lily? (1966) with in-studio guest Woody Allen (I don't recognize the 1966 host)
You want more? All right, I'll add half-dozen more tapes to this list including:
Howard The Duck (1997 host segments, missed intro)
Donovan's Brain (also from 1997) is that Nancy Reagan in a sci-fi movie?!
Deadly Friend (1-97 Superbowl host segments)
"Midnight Offerings" (1st hour only)
"The Omen" (part of Joe Bob's January 1997 Superbowl marathon)
"Godzilla vs. Monster Zero" & "Godzilla's Revenge"
"Project Shadowchaser"
"The Lost Boys" with fangs, final host segment only

Note: Due to technical problems, all email sent to tvg@scifans.com last year was erased. If you already sent me an offer to buy/sell/trade videotapes, I need to hear from you again. The fairest way I can do this is $5 an hour plus shipping, $10/hour with Joe Bob but without commercials. Free shipping for $50 or more (or if order would be just over $50 with shipping). Let me know what you want and I'll see how many hours it comes to. Also have many MST-3000 tapes of titles not available from Amazon.com and other commercially-unavailable tv-shows back to mid-1984. Keep circulating the tapes
Bill Laidlaw, 524 Printz Rd, Arroyo Grande CA 93420
or P.O. Box 3, Arroyo Grande CA 93421
I don't like to disturb the spiders that live in my rural street mailbox, so I usually check the PO Box more often, but you can use either address
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Joe Bob's new official site can be found at www.joebobbriggs.com.

Joe Bob Briggs bio from 1999 (he blooms anywhere)
There are books by Joe Bob Briggs available on the bio page, but none about Monstervision

If you miss Joe Bob's voice, there's a new DVD of Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter with commentary by Joe Bob Briggs, and his website gets a small royalty if you use this link to buy it from Amazon.com

This vast website devoted to Monstervision built and maintained by half-vast fans

Click here to blow up the world

Best movies ever made by Japanese guys in monster suits...with links to Monstervision's host segments for "Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs Mothra" (Joe Bob just loved the tiny women who sing to Mothra)

See if your favorite person, TV series or
motion picture is available on video/books:


Search:
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In Association with Amazon.com

Click here if you would like me to give you all my money

A word from God

For creepy music, try Dark Shadows

Or Brimstone
Or would you rather just read the latest Stephen King book? He wrote "Stand By Me" but just try to find his name on the TV Guide description of that movie. It has a dead body and everything...

Avast ye mateys, here there be ice pirates ... Joe Bob's review & Drive-In Totals for Ice Pirates

Big Trouble In Little China fans, for a free computer game based on your favorite movie, go to the Big Trouble In Little China computer game on the Wingkong.net fan website for free download. And don't worry if you don't get the rules right away, you weren't brought into this world to get it, Mr. Burton.
And here's Kurt Russell's opinion of Osama Bin Ladin.
Back to TV Listings on Sci-fans.com

12/2003: The Beagle 2 spacecraft, which set out to discover whether there's life on Mars, either crash-landed on Mars, or failed to land on Mars, or landed on Mars and failed to transmit a message, or was eaten by Martians.
Click here to sign up for a weekly Email from Joe Bob, news you can't use, guaranteed. Want to drop Joe Bob a note? Send email to joebob@joebobbriggs.com

How come "aleatory" isn't in Spellcheck?

Longer version of that music the Phantom plays on a pipe organ

Click here for Christine (the movie review & host segments, not the demon-possessed car from Hell itself)

Or visit Boris Karloff, he's lonely

Kolchak, the Night Stalker page

Lock your doors, lock your windows, and click here for the "Halloween" movies

Halloween is 20 years old, happy birthday!

If you are just surfing the 'net because you can't sleep, click here for appropriate music

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die" - Mel Brooks

Wanna get rich running a fan website? You might as well be walking on the Sun

Twin Peaks host segments and five blond jokes

Animated graphics © 2003 by The Animation Factory.
For over 100,000 Premium Web Animations and Graphics click here!

This page © the great and powerful Bill Laidlaw. Be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Bad, bad talking-cat

ģ Monstervision is a registered trademark of nobody

This electric site


Help keep this on an ad-free website. Buy something from our Amazon.com links!

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Click here to hear your computer scream again

Or here to hear Return of the Living Dead themesong

Please note: this website is for intelligent people, not this guy
Was that the boogie-man?

Guess who's coming to dinner

Welcome to the party, pal

Monstervision Error 404 Page (it's fun)

See anything on this page you don't like? Contact the Webmaster. Not to be confused with the Puppet Master. Whatever you do, for God's sake, don't attempt to contact the zombie/undead "Puppet Master." You've been warned. That's all I can do.

What do you little maniacs want to do first?

The Visitors are coming to the Sci-Fi Channel in a remake of "V" with Robert Englund of Nightmare On Elm Street as a "friendly" alien

Hamster Dance!

Or visit the Neko homepage

Click here if you want to email spam to me

Note: if you want to printout this page, be sure your printer is set to black ink & no background. And that it has ink in it. And paper

MonstervisionÖ

What was the question again?

His tactics suggest two-dimensional thinking . . . Click here if you wanna croak

Please don't feed the People Under The Stairs

I never would have dreamed it would turn out to be the bees!

Current movie listings this month

Complete MonsterVision movies list so far

John Deere stands behind everything he makes - except the manure spreader

Banned ad for Stephen King's The Langoliers (the tv-network guy thought it would scare women).
Your arm's too short to box with Satan

42% of all statistics are fake

Click here to force Chico Marx to do your bidding