Thursday, October 28...What a motherfucker. I just dealt with a person who is quite possibly the rudest telemarketer ever invented. Part of my fabulous job involves screening calls for my boss, and in any given day we get our fair share of people trying to sell us stuff, or get us to make donations, or what have you. I have gotten quite good, almost brutal, at firmly letting a person know we are not interested. Now, I realize that the life of a telemarketer must be a very sad existence. I'm sure they get hungup on a lot and that the position is inherently full of its fair share of rejection. But you would think that these people would have developed a tough skin and learned not to take it so personally. This is a transcript of a call that just happened.Me: This is Lisa, can I help you?
Him: I'd like to talk to Jack Smith please.
Me: May I say who's calling?
Him: Brian Nelson.
Me: And what is this regarding?
Him: Why don't you tell me if he's in or not before I tell you what it's in reference to? It's kind of personal.At this point he's given himself away. I know he's a telemarkter and he knows I know he's a telemarketer.
Me: Why don't you tell me what this is regarding before I tell you if he's in or not?
This is where the dude goes crazy.
Him: It's about your attitude, you little bitch. It sucks. *Click.*
WHAT THE FUCK?!? How dare he talk to me like that?!? God, I would have given anything to have gotten out of him who he works for, because I would be calling his manager in a heartbeat and getting that prick fired.
Wednesday, October 27... Ok, so I totally do not have any free time to be writing but I feel so bad when I neglect my page. It's like a son to me...my small little child that needs nurturing and support and to know that I love it. Actually, I am just worried that the three people that come here on a regular basis will stop reading. Today at lunch I went over to M's house, as he is sick and prostrate on the couch. I did something really stupid and snuggled and cuddled him (he just looked too cute and sweet under all those blankets) and now I have a weird lightheaded feel-like-a-fever's-setting-in kinda feeling. Please dear lord, please don't let me get sick.
I am very excited because we managed to find a condo for New Year's Eve that was available on the beach!!! Three nights and four days of beach-y bliss. I realize it will be a bit cold for swimming, but that's not really the point of going down there (wink wink). Sorry to all those I just grossed out.
Somebody brought it to my attention that Will Smith has some kind of new song out called "Will2K" that samples The Clash's "Rock the Casbah". Ok, that's it. Mr. Smith, you are getting a kick in the ass delivered by yours truly. I had no problem with your mutiliation of "Just the Two of Us", and that disco song in "Getting Jiggy with It", but you fucked with The Clash and that is asking for trouble. Why don't you try writing your own music instead of ruining perfectly good songs? Or better yet, just stick to your role as the non-threatening black man that white people feel comfortable adoring and keep turning out mediocre movies a la "Wild Wild West"? Then we won't have the problem of me having to kick your ass.
And do I have to mention the ridiculousness of "Will2K" as a TITLE? I didn't think so. Thank you and goodnight.
>Monday, October 25... So I looked at my guestbook this morning and saw an entry by someone who says I can't complain about America sucking when I don't suggest any possible alternatives. Why not? Why do I HAVE to do anything? I don't quite understand that. America sucks because it continually lies to everyone. The reasons for the war against Iraq were such obvious bullshit, but everyone knew that so that's not a good example. But aside from the reasons, does anyone really still believe all the nonsense propganda about Saddam Hussein being "evil"? The U.S. government doesn't have a personal problem with Hussien, despite all the rhetoric that came out of the State Department, it's all about still being able to pay $1.05 or whatever at the gas pump. So we go over there, kill thousands of innocent Iraqui civilians, all for cheap gas. And I won't even say that that's a fucked up reason for killing people (even though it is), because throughout history might makes right and history is written by the winners, so let's just say for the sake of the arguement that America has every right to bomb the hell out of whoever they want to. But the fact that our government routinely lies to its own people about its motives and reasons for doing things is unexcusable. I don't want to come across as some right-wing nut, but really, please don't be naive enough to think that what you see on the evening news is the truth, because it isn't.
On a lighter note, where oh where did Lisa's page go?
Friday, October 22...Ok, I went back to a more normal, easy to read font. Fuck all that fancy shit. I forgot to put on deodorant today and as a result I have a slightly gross feeling in my pits. I hate it when that happens. I had a really really great dinner with my boyfriend last night, steak, wine, the works. I feel a little yucky today, but it was worth it. I have a great great guy. Sorry, just felt the need to brag a little.
You know what I have come to realize lately? This isn't exactly a revalation, at least not for some people, but it was for me. I used to be a person that was easily intimidated. I let people walk all over me, mainly because everyone else seemed to be stronger, which I equated with being right. I have become a really strong person just in the last ten months or so, and I now realize that everyone is the same when it comes to being scared sometimes, or not always having all the answers. I don't think anyone can ever make me feel insecure again. I just don't have it anymore to be scared of anyone, because I know that nothing truly bad can happen to me. Fear is the worst thing that can happen, and fear is something that I create in my own mind. No one can put it there unless I allow them to. Feeling empowered is an extremely liberating and novel feeling for me, but one that I am relieved has finally happened. Sorry, I didn't mean to get all journal-y on you.
Thursday, October 21...Is this new font totally obnoxious and hard to read? Let me know. I am getting bored with my page and since I don't know jack shit (or his brother, dick squat) about graphics, changing the font is about as creative as it's gonna get.
Wednesday, October 20...I have noticed that I am really intolerant towards people I consider to be my intellectual inferiors. I don't want to sound all hoighty-toity, but really, I just don't understand why there are so many stupid people in this world. I find the internet to be extremely boring for the most part, due to the large number of stupid webpages that are out there. I know there must be good pages, but where are they? I feel like I've discovered them already. It's disheartening, but what can you do. Either the pages I come across are vapid and pointless or they are written by a 16 year old girl who thinks she is the deepest person who ever lived. It just gets really obnoxious.
I have developed an obsession with Janeane Garofalo lately. I've always thought she was really funny and stuff, but I think it's cool that she is just who she is, despite what must be enormous pressure to conform and fit society's standard of how she should look. I think she's totally cute, which made it really hard for me to buy that piece of crap movie "The Truth about Cats and Dogs" which implied she was grotesque or something. Anyway, she's my obsession of the week.
You know what is really sick? Fried cheese. My sister calls it "instant death", and really, that's what it is. How can you take a substance like cheese, which is a beauty unto itself, and then deep fry it? That is like the perfect example of America, deep fry everything. I went to an Applebee's onetime (don't do it, it's terrible terrible yuck yuck yuck!) and saw that they had fried cheesecake on the menu. You read that correctly. Fried cheesecake. I don't even want to know how that is possible, much less who would order that for dessert. I used to like fried cheese, but I just can't even contemplate eating it ever again. Total clogging of the arteries.
One last thing before I stop for the day...I want to know what is up with "The Simpsons". It used to come on at 6:00 pm on the New York Fox station, then at 6:30 pm on the local NBC affiliate, then AGAIN at 10:00 on NBC. Now, it only comes on once at 6:30, and I usually end up missing it because I have to leave for class or something. I don't like it one bit, and quite frankly it scares me because of what it portends. Someday, and probably soon, "The Simpsons" will be cancelled and eventually will dry up in syndication. Why? How could anyone get tired of watching such a fine fine show? Please let me be six feet under when that day comes, or else I will be one very sad girl. I need to start mimicking a totally weird ex-boyfriend, who had an unhealthy obsession with Sara Gilbert and had every episode of "Roseanne" catalogued on tape in order of SEASON AND EPISODE. Talk about OCD behaviour. But I would be willing to get that obsessive for the sake of the Simpsons. In that case, it's totally understandable.
Tuesday, October 19...Ok, so yesterday was my birthday and so the boyfriend and I (herein refered to as "M"--I bet he SO loves me discussing him on my page) did the stereotypical my-birthday-is-on-a-Monday-so-no-drinking thing and went to dinner and a movie. The movie in question was "The Story of Us", which I chose and which just goes to show you that the older I get the sappier I get. Anyway, this movie was so bad we left halfway through. It is terrible. I don't know why in retrospect I wanted to see it, other than if I were gay I would definetly be hot for Michelle Pfeiffer. The best part of the movie has to be seeing Bruce Willis with long hair, yet with the most dramatic receeding hairline I have ever seen.
But all was good and I am now officially 25 years old, which is a really weird feeling. I still have not quite adjusted.
Monday, October 18...Sweet Jesus...the lady whose desk is next to mine always has her radio tuned to a country station...it is pure torture...but I just heard one of the funniest things I think I have ever heard. The following are lyrics from a real song...
"She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
When I'm chuggin' along"Today is the 25th anniversary of the day of my birth...(insert dramatic organ music and a chorus of "aahhhhs"). I feel slightly old, but I have come to realize that although I may be not be 18 anymore, it doesn't mean I can't act like it. I don't know when maturity is supposed to set in, but it certainly hasn't yet. I still laugh at fart jokes and other bodily functions. But really, does that ever stop being hilarious? I think not. I don't have a whole lot to say today, other than I won at Trivial Pursuit last night. Yay me.
Friday, October 15...OK, I have more to say now...I know I am a total copycat for getting an axlbook (or however it's spelled), but man those things work good. Praise and hatemail are 90% of the reason why I do this thing, so it's nice to see my responses in such a timely manner. OK, this is something that has been fascinating me lately...LeAnn Rimes!! I always thought of her as a chubby little hick from Houston and never gave her much thought beyond that, but I stumbled across an anti-LeAnn site the other day and apparently this girl is a hotbed of scandal and gossip! According to this site (whose URL I can't remember, sorry), she was a total bitch in high school and thought she was just the greatest thing ever. She also thinks she's hot stuff now, and has made a lot of people in the industry angry with her snotty attitude. Wouldn't you know it! And now she thinks she's some kind of sex symbol...perhaps to the redneck population of the south, but beyond that, I think not.
Talking of LeAnn has reminded me of Elton John...he grosses me out. I thought it was hilarious how such a flaming queer was chosen to perform at Princess Di's funeral (and when I say flaming queer, I mean that as a compliment! please don't fill my box with scathing emails about me being a homophobe!). I was living in London at the time of her death and a friend of mine back home asked if he had worn a Donald Duck outfit or perhaps a spangled jumpsuit and feather boa to perform that Marilyn Monroe song (I can't think of it's real name). It was the funniest thought...HA!
You know, my webpage really sucks dick. I know it's not that hard to learn HTML and what have you, but I really have no desire to do so, and as a result my site is the artistic equivalent of a Sears catalogue (I don't know what that means either). Everyone else has these really cool pages with all sorts of fonts and shit, I don't even know how to do THAT! Oh well, as long as people keep coming I guess I'm doing something right. About "Gone with the Wind"...Lisa's guestbook entry gave me the courage to discuss my obsession with this book/film a little bit more. I LOVE this book. I am in the process of reading it for at least the 15th time, if not more. I don't know why it has grabbed hold of me like this. I read it for the first time when I was about 12 years old, and instantly became enthralled with Scarlett...I think it partly has to do with being such a history freak (I have always been this way) and the other part is it's just a really great story. The highlight of my undergraduate career was writing a paper on it in my Southern Mythologies class. It took me literally 20 minutes to write it and I got the only A in the class. OK, I'll stop showing what a dork I am now.
I am stressing so bad about school right now. I am taking nine hours of graduate-level courses, which is a full load in graduate school, plus an undergraduate finance course, plus I work full time. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I signed up for all those classes. Then, I have a debate to prepare for tomorrow (oh god, I just heard Mariah's high pitch wail coming out of someone's office...it's like nails on a chalkboard), as well as a paper due for marketing (which thankfully is finished) and another paper that I barely started last night and still have yet to finish. Someday it will all be worth it, that's what I have to keep telling myself.
I heard the funniest thing on TV last night. Bill Clinton was giving a speech having to do with the recent coup in Pakistan, and he said "America has never made a mistake overseas". Is that not the most laughable thing you have ever heard? It was enough to make me choke on my food in disgust. They can't really believe that, can they? After Vietnam? After they bombed a pharmaceutical factory in Sudan because they thought it had to do with Osama Bin Laden? You know, I say "they", and really, it's "us". Maybe we don't make these decisions directly, but here we are, complacent sheep, willing to turn a blind eye as America bullies ther rest of the world.
Thursday, October 14...Well, I noticed in the paper today that the grand jury in Colorado declined to bring charges against anyone in the Jon-Benet Ramsey case. I personally think the parents were involved in some way. I didn't at first, because after all the money and attention they lavished on that kid with all her pageants and what not, it would seem kinda weird to do away with her. But then I read something that was really creepy. Apparently, she and her mother would sing songs from "Gypsy" in the car on their way to pageants and rehearsals and stuff. "Gypsy" is a musical about a pushy stage mother and her daughter. Weird, huh? I envision something like Jon-Benet telling her mother she didn't want to do pageants anymore, her mom freaking out and losing her mind. That whole thing was just bizarre.
Wednesday, October 13... Last night I forced my boyfriend to watch "Gone with the Wind". God I love that movie. I don't know why either. Anyway, I fucked off instead of doing school work and today it's time to pay the fiddler(?). I have so much shit to do it's not even funny. Oh well, enough talk about school. Why are there no good movies out? I really want to see "American Beauty" but the area I live in is so culturally backward it's not even showing anywhere. We have one main theatre in my town that has like 17 movie screens, and while "Drive Me Crazy" or whatever it's called is apparently important enough to be shown on 3 screens simultaneously, "American Beauty", a film that from all the buzzapparently the best thing since sliced bread, isn't worth even one. Can you believe that shit?
I really have nothing else of value to say except that expect my updates to be pretty lame for the next while. I'm just too damn busy.
Sunday, October 10...OK, I finally had my question answered regarding the "Can you smell that smell" song. I never bothered to listen to it because southern rock causes me to embark on murderous killing sprees, therefore I had only heard the god-awful refrain of smelling some sort of smell before I changed the station. I heard this song a long time ago, and being as immature as I am, would belt out the chorus upon emitting a particularly noxious fart. I probably just lost a good portion of my readers right there. Anyway, thanks for letting me know guys, especially Rosie! Ok, what else to report? The Astros suck ass. I can't believe they lost the damn series. For those who don't know, they have never made it past round one of the playoffs EVER, and this year was no exception. It's going to be really hard being an Astros fan. You would think I suffer enough, being a Rockets fan. Of course, the Rockets won two championships in '94 and '95, but not like anyone remembers or ever gave them respect. Houston just can't get a break, man. Sucks.
I saw "The Matrix" last night for the second time. I like that movie a lot, and I don't usually like action-science-fiction type flicks. I saw it the first time with my dad, and he started lamenting about Columbine as we were walking out of the theatre, saying that they shouldn't have shown that movie so soon after. OK, no disrespect to the people who died, but my dad's obsession with Columbine is really funny. He will find a way to tie it in to almost any conversation. "Stock market is kinda shaky lately. You know, ever since Columbine, you just can't feel safe anymore." Is it evil of me to think that is just really funny?
I ate at Taco Bell today, and I think all the discussion the past two weeks in Lisa's guestbook (was it Lisa or Tracie? I can't keep track) put some sort of subliminal freeze on my brain because I hadn't eaten that shit in like three years and I swore I never would again. It wasn't bad for lame processed mexican food, but I tried one of those chalupas and let me just say for anyone who has never had a real chalupa, you don't know what you are missing. That thing they call a chalupa is nothing like it. Gross.
Ok, I'm tired. Night, y'all.
Friday, October 8...You know that song "Ooh that smell! Can you smell that smell!" What the hell are they talking about?
Thursday, October 7... OK, so the Astros lost yesterday big deal. There are still 3 more games.
Wednesday, October 6...The Astros are kicking butt and taking names. I was never really into baseball before this year, but after being subjected to several Houston games, I realized the beauty and grace that are the Houston Astros. They are currently playing Atlanta in the playoffs, and won game one yesterday. Expect further updates and glorification.
School is kicking my ass, but I am loving it. I am even thinking of getting a second master's degree after I finish this one, maybe even a PhD. That would be cool...Dr. Lisa...and you can bet your sweet ass I would make everyone call me that.
I am thinking about starting a new web page, one that is more factually based and having to do with the French Revolution, the coolest period in history ever. It would fulfill my nerdy obsessive love of research, which is being sated momentarily with my MBA research project but will start manifesting itself again once this bitch is over. I'll post the URL up here when/if it's underway.
While I'm here, I just want to say I think LeAnn Rimes (or however the fuck you spell her name) is such a hag. I can't stand her. Yuck.