Monday, November 29...So I bought a Smiths CD this weekend, and after popping it into my car's CD player, a wave of nostalgia overcame me. Who didn't go through a high school angsty period in which only Morrissey's soothing voice could console you and make you feel superior in your alienation and contempt for those around you?... I have FOUR papers due on this Saturday. You read that right. FOUR. And a presentation. I have this general feeling of doom right now, which is unusual for me because usually towards the end of a semester I am at the I-don't-give-a-shit stage. Not this time. I am seriously unprepared... Anyway, I saw "Elizabeth" this weekend, and for all of you who haven't seen this movie yet, you are missing out. It's probably the best period piece I've seen since "Dangerous Liaisons". I also started "Permanent Midnight", which I had to turn off after the first thirty minutes. I'm no prude, but I cannot STAND to watch movies in which drugs are glorified. Smoking a joint or whatever is no big deal, but it disgusts me that Ben Stiller shooting up in a bathroom stall constitutes entertainment. I can't watch movies like that, I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. If I'm going to watch a movie, I'd like to see something that takes me away from the filth and grime of everyday life, not submerses me in it.

This is going to be a short update, but I want to leave you with a thought to ponder that was recently sent to me by someone who maybe doesn't like me (can you imagine?): "Aren't you a little too old for this?" Never.

Friday, November 26...I am so royally pissed. It's the Friday after Thanksgiving and I think I am the only person in America that has to work today. Everyone else I know has the day off and I'm stuck here in hell. What really adds insult to energy is that my boss left work at noon on Wednesday and left today at around noon as well. So, in essence, he thinks nothing of taking time off while us peons are left to bitch about how much it sucks we're working today. That's okay though, since I am partaking of my favorite non-work activity...working on my web page! I feel like such a moron for saying I wasn't going to do it anymore, I should have known that wouldn't be the case. However, I have a really good reason for why I threaten (and sometimes follow through!) with my threats to take it down/stop doing it...I just figured out that these urges always occur the week before I start my period. I am such a moody bitch during the week before my little "friend" visits. I know you guys out there probably think PMS (or PMT for my non-American readers) is a bunch of baloney (and I think I even read that there is no scientific proof for its existence) but I swear it's true, at least in my case!

Eeew gross, someone just turned on the heater and it stinks. I can't believe the weenies I work with. I am in South Texas, where the temperature rarely dips below 80 degrees. I think it's about 65 today, the sun is shining, and people are breaking out the parkas and mittens.

Today is the UT-A&M game, and it is about the only time of the year I get a little school spirit running through my veins. I graduated from U of Texas a few years ago, and during my time there never went to a football game (although I did watch them on television). Most of the time I never really got too into it, with the exception of the yearly game against Texas A&M. A friend of mine is an Aggie and it was always fun rubbing it in her face when they lost, mainly because she would get irrationally angry and I always thought it was really funny. Of course we all know about the bonfire collapse this year and the people who died in it, which is really sad, but what's sadder is that they are going to lose. Of course I'm stuck here are work and can't watch it...reason number 472 to resent my boss. I just checked with my dad and it's 16-13 with ten minutes to go in the fourth quarter...the agony.

Later...Damn it all to hell! We lost! I know it was all because I couldn't watch it on TV...

Wednesday, November 24...I told you it wouldn't last forever...

So last night I watched that clip that Jimbo had on his site of the shit-eating Jap. Let me just go on the record as saying that was some sick shit (no pun intended). I gagged a couple of times and couldn't watch the whole thing in one sitting. I am all for sexual expression no matter what form it comes in, and realize that everyone has their little quirks, but come on! That was just plain gross.

Tomorrow is Turkey Day, the official day of gluttony in America. Thanksgiving is a fabulous holiday, I mean really, who else besides us could come up with a day where stuffing yourself senseless is glorified? A couple of years ago, I introduced Thanksgiving to some Dutch friends when I found myself in Amsterdam over the holidays. This was a very small scale affair, not nearly the smorgasboard that the average American household lays out on such an occassion. These people were in comas after eating, they couldn't handle it, although maybe my cooking had something to do with it...hmm...

My obsession with Bill Gates is getting out of control. I don't know how it is possible that I have developed such a crush (let me rephrase that...fascination) with such a dorky looking little troll, but I have. That just goes to show you that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. Now that all these class action lawsuits are being filed against Microsoft, I am finding myself indignant that my Bill is being harrassed. I think this goes to show that I have finally lost my grip on reality.

My suspicion that my internet usage is being monitored has been abated. Our MIS department consists of two guys who are the biggest geeks you've ever seen. Not only that, but they are mean, bitter and spiteful. Whenever they walk past my desk they give me these piercing looks like "We know that you aren't really working. We know you spend six hours a day on the internet." I think my paranoia had gotten out of hand, because last week they installed this password function on our web browser and when I asked why I was given a very vague answer that I immediately interpreted as "We're on to you". Normally this wouldn't bother me, as getting fired from this job would actually make me extremely happy, but it wouldn't look to good to have a prospective employer check my references to find that I was fired for working on my web page while at work.

Friday, November 19... I know I haven't updated in a while, and I'm sorry for that. I don't even know how long this update will be, mainly because I am losing interest in doing this page. I've learned my lesson about deleting the whole damn thing (in essence, it's not good) so that won't be happening, but I just don't know how often I will be updating any more. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I suspect our (or more pointedly my ) internet usage is being monitored at work, which cuts down on my updating time considerably. I also just don't have a whole lot that I want to share with strangers anymore. I think it filled a need at one point, but I think that need has been satiated, at least for now. I probably shouldn't even be writing this, because knowing me I'll have a change of heart soon and retract everything I just wrote. But I haven't updated since Monday, I don't particularly feel like updating today, and now I am turning into one of those people who writes about writing rather than about an actual topic. Sorry.

Monday, November 15... Ok, I am severely pissed off...let me start at the beginning...

Like many people, I have something on my page that checks the traffic coming in, lets me know who has visited, and provides referring URLs...if someone has linked me, I am able to tell and I usually will go and check their site out and say thanks for the link. This morning there was a new referring URL, and when I went to check it out, I was gobsmacked...someone is pretending to be me!!! This was written in someone's guestbook.

Name: Stacie Kimbrough
Website: What is Going On, Sugar Lips?
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Dublin, Ireland
Time: 1999-11-08 22:56:55
Comments: Well Hello I would just like to say check out my site!!! People tell me I have the most prettiest name and the most_BEST_site in the whole wide world. HINT or NOTICE: My site can be hooking and you will fall head over hills in luv with it... So I will warn you... Oh yeah don't copy anything from my page unless given permission to. So ask First! Sign my G-book and let me know how did yah like it... Well I give your site a 4... BYE!!!!!! And remember LUV shouts HIGHER than U!!!! My site RULES all SITES!!!!!!!!!

Why is this person saying my site is hers? Who knows what other guestbooks she is signing leaving these idiotic ramblings! I hope this was a mistake but I don't see how it could have been. Is it a deliberate attmept to defame me? Someone's psychotic attempt to boost my traffic? Whatever it is, make it stop!!!

Friday, November 12... Ok, I just logged on to Angelfire (obviously, or I wouldn't be updating this) and my files are all in some weird order. What is going on? Hmmm...I don't like it one bit. Anyway, today's topic is....what is up with stupid stickers people put on their cars? Whilst driving around the ghetto that is the town I live in, my boyfriend and I enjoy pointing out funny things that people place on their bumpers or windows. Many times, these gems of wisdom will become the catch phrase of the week. The current one was spotted just a few days ago on a really ugly Ford Mustang circa 1985. It was a sticker that said "Ain't Skeered"....S-K-E-E-R-E-D. This isn't even eubonics, it's like white trash speak. The funniest one EVER is "Pimp Dem Hoes". How fucking funny is that?

I also am not sure if this is a phenomenon limited to the area I live in, but there also seems to be this new fascination with having a sticker of Calvin peeing on various other car manufacturer logos. There is also the subversive Calvin peeing on the American flag, and for those who really want to make a statement, you can also get Calvin defecating on things. I really really don't understand it, I mean, I drive a Nissan, but, like, I don't have a problem with Ford to where I'm going to go out and buy a sticker of a cartoon character peeing on the Ford logo.

I also wonder what the people who hold the copyright on Calvin and Hobbs think of all of this.

The best one is "If I don't get laid soon, I'm going to hurt somebody". Why on Earth would someone want to proclaim to the world that a) they can't get laid and b) they are about to embark on a murderous rampage if said sexual urges are not met?

Sometimes I think people like this were placed on the planet solely for my amusement.

Thursday, November 11... Whatever weird tension existed yesterday has dissipated, leaving me to believe that I will quit before I get fired. I think the reason why I even work on this web page during work is my passive-aggressive nature showing through. I would rather show my disdain for this job by just not doing it rather than by taking a proactive role and actually quitting. I love to psychoanalyze myself.

Well, Glitz wrote in my guestbook that I am a retard and a bitch and I have no life because I think riot grrls are stupid. Ok, so she was right about me being a bitch, but the other two were just WAY off the mark. It pleased me to see that, I hadn't gotten any criticism in a while and was starting to worry I was losing my touch. Thanks Glitz for proving my point that riot grrls ARE stupid!!!

The fact that Lisa remembered All My Children back in the day of Janet from another Planet brought to mind how vividly I remember TV shows from years ago. I remember this period of AMC more vividly than I remember what was going on in my life at the time. Is that not pathetic? (That was a rhetorical question, please do not flood my guestbook with "Yes, you are pathetic.")

"Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I am an idiot with fake tits and a terrible voice." Britney Spears' screeching voice is playing on the radio in someone's office. Yes people, she may be gone from my page but she is far from forgotten. I read somewhere yesterday that her album is like number seven on the charts. How long has this piece of crap been out, and it's still in the top ten? I suppose this really shouldn't surprise me, seeing as how a WWF compilation album was in the number four position. Let me just ask my favorite question once again. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY? I never could understand why some albums were always in the top ten and others weren't. It just didn't make sense. Then, in high school, I had a job at Musicland. It sucked, but I was broke and it was Christmas and they were hiring, and...I'll stop defending myself now. The purchases that 99.9% of the people made at that store were so heinous. One man bought like seven copies of a Michael Jackson CD at once. Other people were snapping up Garth Brooks CDs like it was going out of style (HAH! Get it? Garth Brooks? Going out of style?) I realized during my two month stint why some albums that are pieces of crap are always in the top ten and others aren't. It's because the majority of people are STUPID.

Wednesday, November 10... I hate my job oh yes I do. There is some weird tension in the air today, like either I am going to get fired or quit very soon. Today is my six month anniversary of being employed at Stupid Office Place and the thought of another six months is a little more than I can bear. I don't know what is going to happen but I will keep you posted.

I quit smoking. (Now that I've figured out how to use italics, you will notice a plentitude of them.) I can't believe it. I really think I may have quit for good this time. Why do I think this after only 8 days without a cigarette? Because I have this incredible will power thing going on in my head. My prior attempts to quit smoking usually ended pretty quickly, I was never able to go more than like three days without smoking. Now it's like I want to see how long I can go. Also, I want to quit smoking now. I may only be 25 but I'm starting to realize that it's time to stop messing around and start doing all the things I was putting off for when I "got older". So, quitting smoking is at the top of my list. I am proud of myself, although I have a sneaking suspicion that the next time I drink a beer my resolution will go out the window. What is it about a cold frosty beer that makes a cigarette taste so good?

I miss television. I really do. TV used to be my best friend. When I first went away to college and was a total loser nerd and no one on my floor wanted to talk to me (yes, it's true!), I would hole up in my dorm room and watch re-runs of "Beverly Hills 90210" back when Shannen Dougherty was on the show and it was actually good. (On a side note: I can't believe this show is still running. I guess until Tori Spelling decides to give up the acting thing, her daddy will find ways to keep it on the air.) I also used to be a soap opera fan, namely "All My Children" and "Young and the Restless". Isn't that lame? I liked them because of their cheesy plots, sometimes involving time travel. My most favorite character ever was Kendall on "All My Children", played by Sarah Michelle Gellar who we all know went on to fame and fortune as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She was awesome on AMC. She played Susan Lucci's daughter and they got in cat fights all the time. I even heard through the grapevine that they disliked each other intensely in real life. Even cooler.

You never know how important TV is until it is taken away from you. When I first moved to London, the flat I was living in had NO TELEVISION. It was creepy and unsettling. British TV isn't the greatest anyway, but it still beats sitting in a quiet apartment with only your thoughts to keep you company. Must be why I was out a lot.

In college I had a professor from Hungary that bragged about never watching television. I hate snotty people who feel that TV is beneath them. TV is your god and you shall bow down and worship it. Don't tell me that you don't find "Kid's Say the Darndest Things" entertaining, because I will brand you as the liar that you are. Ok, that's all for now.

Monday, November 8... Wow, long time no update. Well, I was out with the virus from hell last week. I think it must have been that burnt plastic candy...and to answer the question that I'm sure is puzzling you, it was some kind of mexican candy, which just goes to show you...I don't know what. I saw "American Beauty" yesterday and I have got to give that flick mad props for being the third decent film I've seen all year (the other two being "The Matrix" and "The Sixth Sense". AB even rose about being decent, falling into my category of "excellent". If you haven't seen it, do so immediately.

I took down my things on the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync, but one last thing on these dickless wonders before we put it to rest. I don't understand girls who are like "I like N'Sync but the Backstreet Boys are totally gay!" There is no difference between these two groups. None. Nada. Don't even try to tell me their music is different in any way shape or form because I will tell you to remove your head from your anus and force you to listen to them simultaneously until you concur. They are both made up of 5 fags who sing in falsetto voices to lame R&B or over-processed dance music. The songs even sound the same. So why is it acceptable to like one and not the other? Way too many idiots in this world, that's what I think. (And no offense to Lisa who has a strange obsession with Justin Timberlake. Lisa, whatever floats your boat.)

Wednesday, November 3... I just ate a piece of candy that has the aftertaste of plastic. Why is that? Ok, listen up people. I'm jumping on the bandwagon and announcing a contest of my own. Whoever converts every single one of my pages into pure HTML (I am lame and use basic editor) complete with the code for no pop-ups, gets a big fat ass link on the front of my page for an entire month. Somehow I don't think I am going to get any entries, but it was worth a shot.

Why would someone make a piece of candy that tastes like plastic? And not even regular plastic, but the way plastic smells when it has been burnt? That is sick and wrong people...SICK...AND...WRONG.

My back hurts. You know what really irks me about civilization? If we were primitive people who were still hunter-gatherers, just foraging in the wilderness trying to collect enough twigs and berries to feed us every day, we could go to sleep whenever we wanted to. Sleepy? Just lay down!! You've got no one to answer to but yourself. But no, we had to go and get civilized and force ourselves to make it to work by eight a.m. or whatever everyday, forced to sit in offices and make stupid webpages for lack of anything better to do until it's five o'clock and you can regain your freedom once again. Why can't we be primitive again and go to sleep when we were...here's a thought...actually SLEEPY? This is why I would trade places with my cat in a heartbeat, because when I stumbled out of the house this morning he was curled up in a chair just cold chillin'. Now THAT'S the life. Of course, I wouldn't really dig licking my own ass, but everything comes with a price.

Speaking of the word primitive, I bet none of you ever thought you would come into contact with one of those redneck kooks who is against the government and stockpiling guns for the second civil war that will occur when the feds come around to try to take our guns? Well, I am fortunate enough to have my mom married to one!!! Yes, it's true, my mother married a real life redneck. He is such a freak. He and my mom go to Academy every weekend just to "browse", and if bullets happen to be on sale, well, he'll stock up on them. He's got an entire closet at their house filled with bullets (I am always corrected when I say bullets, the correct terminology is "shells", but what the fuck) and has 10 guns, at least. One day he was telling me how I shouldn't rely on always having a grocery store, because when the government comes and we're hiding out in the woods we'll have to kill our own food because civilization as we know it will be over. I am not making this up. You go into the bathroom and instead of, like, Good Housekeeping sitting by the toilet you've got Guns-n-Ammo magazine. FREAK.

Tuesday, November 2...

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming. The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining. The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for further instructions. The two Australian men beat each other senseless for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men after calling them both 'bloody wankers". Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep. The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.

God, I was so busted this morning by my boss engaging in "personal" business on the computer. I had like 15 windows open with emails, someone's webpage, god knows what else, and he totally does a guerilla attack ambush on me and needs to access something from my computer because his was down. DOH! Thank god my porn viewing takes place late in the afternoon, or that would have been REALLY bad! He didn't say anything, but we both know what transpired. I am going to have to be more stealthy in the future.

Well, Angelfire actually did it...my site now has stupid fucking pop-ups on it. I HATE pop-ups. I haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do about it, but I am NOT pleased.

Monday, November 1...Ahh, a new month. Also, fucking Daylight Savings, the most archaic concept and a total curse on the freakishness that is my body, just ended this weekend. I can't stand all that nonsense about going back or forward an hour, mainly because I have such a weird internal clock that is ultra-sensitive to changes in time. Like, if I'm going to sleep at night, and there isn't an alarm clock in the room I'm sleeping in, I can tell myself "You need to wake up at 6:30" or whatever and I will wake up within one or two minutes of that time. I know this isn't exactly unique, but doesn't that freak you out about how bizarre our minds are?

I went to a really fun Halloween party on Saturday night with my boyfriend. He was Hugh Heffner and I was Barbi Benton. It was awesome, and not bad for two extremely hastily assembled costumes.

The only other highlight of my weekend was getting to see the second half of "Mr. Mom" yesterday on TV. Ahhh...what a sweet and funny movie. "Can I have...a moment...to myself...please?" I've got a headache from hell so that's all the excitement for today.