January
23...Expect whatever follows to be totally random, because I'm in
one of those moods where I have nothing to say but all the time in
the world to say it.
Tonight we ate at your favorite restaurant and mine, TGI
Friday's. Everytime I go, I feel a wave of pity for everyone that
works there. You have to have
some kind of desperation in your life to willingly don such
obnoxious clothing and serve the crap they do, day in and day out.
Hey, I just remembered my sister used to work there! But in all
fairness to her, she quit after like two weeks or something.
So now I can get in my car without looking over my shoulder now
that those escaped convicts were caught. My paranoia knows no
bounds. I was really doing that for awhile. It would just be my luck you know.
Okay, the mood has passed. As you were.
January 21...I don't want to jinx myself by commenting on my
updating spurt, but I'm just Molly Chatterbox lately, aren't I?
(Molly Chatterbox? I don't get it either.)
So it's Golden Globes night, and the pop culture junkie that
resides within feels the need to comment. I have to say that this
year's GG's have not managed to hold my attention very well. I think
this is a combination of the fact that although this isn't the
bastard child of awards ceremonies (that would be the emmys), it
just doesn't have the sense of authority that the oscars do.
1. What was up with that whack song at the beginning? It
was like some weird Ricky Martin hybrid with lameass lyrics about
the "biggest party in town". You could also
tell that the director was trying to get the actors to do a jig as
they came up the red carpet. The ones who actually did were pretty
much C list celebrities who I presume will sacrifice their dignity
for a bit of air time. The whole thing left me with my jaw agape and
a vague feeling of pity.
2. It wouldn't be the Golden Globes if everyone wasn't
drunk. It is so obvious about 30 minutes into the ceremony that
everyone is totally loaded. Don't get me wrong, you don't hear
any disapproval in my voice. If I was in their shoes, I would be
partaking of the free booze too. It's just that it gets to be a
little...shall we say...pathetic. Learn to be a dignified drunk,
that's what I say.
3. Was Sarah Jessica Parker's speech for real? I love Sex
and the City as much as the next girl, but I couldn't tell for the
life of me if the "oh my god I'm so shocked I can't think of
anything to say" was for real or not, not only because she had
PLEANTY to say but also because she seemed like a really bad drama
queen doing it.
4. Lara Flynn Boyle...you are a hag. A
bony old hag.
After about 40 minutes I got absorped with laundry and other
glamorous activities that I'm sure would enthrall each and every one
of you, but I
think I will opt to retain an air of mystery and leave you hanging.
January 19... So today is the last day that Bill Clinton is our
president. This makes me sad. I feel like it's the end of an era.
He's become a standard, and now he's gone. Despite all of the
"scandals" during his time in office, I felt that I could always
relate to the little bugger, even when he was blocking roads in my
hometown raising money for the Democrats. He had his faults, but at
least he was an actual person, doing what was right for America. His
stuborness with trying to resolve the Middle East problems became a
little tedious...I mean really, is there ANYONE who thinks these
people will learn to co-exist peacefully? If you do, I've got
a lovely 1988 Saab I'd like to sell you. It runs
GREAT! (More about that later.)
I say all this because for the past month or so, even though I
knew that George W. was going to take over, it didn't seem real. I
guess I thought it was a bad dream. I wanted to wake up and find
that it was all a terrible joke. But now there's no denying it. He's
here. Let the tyranny commence.
I'm reading "Fortunate Son" right now. Michael makes fun of me
because he thinks my Bush hatred is a little over the top, but come
on! You know,
Reagan didn't inspire these feelings because a)I was like 8 years
old and who the hell knows any better at that age but also because
b) despite his cold war paranoia and pouring money into Star Wars
and shit, he was a pretty benign guy. I guess you would be too
if you were
80 and Alzheimers was lurking around the corner. But the '88
election? I was a Dukakis supporter all the way. Part of it was also
because Lloyd Bentsen's (Dukakis' running mate) grandson was in my
history class (do I have connections or what?), but also because the
evils of the Bush clan were obvious even to a 14 year old. Ok, I
better get off this topic, I'm starting to get worked up.
So about the Saab...it is proving itself to be a big giant heap
of poo. It died on me about three times on the way to work today.
Some belt thingy makes a terrible screetching noise at times as I
drive, which makes me feel the need to apologize profusely to the
drivers around me. The regret is huge at this point, and it is only
made worse by the fact that I haven't even made one payment on it
yet. There is nothing worse than the feeling that your money is
going down the tubes.
January 18...Today I learned far, far more information about my
co-workers than I ever wished to know. There is only a certain level
of intimacy which I voluntarily choose to have with people...when
intimacy is imposed upon me, it just leaves me mentally slack-jawed.
The first person told me about her yeast infections. She did not
get to the point of graphically describing them, but this was only
because my phone rang before she could. This looked like a walk in
the park compared to what I was later told.
Another co-worker of mine, who recently had a baby, delightfully
recanted how at her doctor's visit that day, she was told the pimple
she thought was growing on her chest was actually a third nipple. You read that
right. Apparently when a woman is pregnant, her hormones go haywire
and sometimes the body actually produces a third nipple. This makes
sense in some weird Darwinian-mammalian construct, but it also
sounds really freakish. Apparently the offending appendage is easy
to remove, but imagine me sitting there listening like this is the
most normal thing in the world. "Oh really? A third nipple! You don't say!"
I'm thinking about adopting now. My two nipples are just fine,
thank you
very much.
So everyone is getting all pissy about Jesse Jackson and his love
child. I don't have anything to say about that except maybe he will
feel some sense of shame and stop commenting on every semi-major
event in the world. Blech.
January 16...Although you have no way
of knowing this, today's entry is a two-step process, because this
is actually being written on a legal pad rather than a computer.
This is because I am at work, where the powers that be happen to be
stuck in a technological time warp and think that internet
access=employee goof-off time. Which I guess 99% of the time it
does. This is irrelevant.
Anyway, in case you couldn't
tell, I've been in a real creative slump. Even when I've bothered to
update, it's been more out of some weird sense of obligation rather
than a real need to say anything worthwhile. Last night, I finally
decided to confront the source of my depression, because I HAVE been
depressed, even though I chose not to admit it. The source of my
depression is my job. (I know, I know, when isn't it?) I think I had
been denying it for a variety of reasons, but when you spend 40
hours a week in one place, you can only
deny it for so long before it starts to pervade other aspects of
your life. Seeing as how every other aspect of my life is as damn
close to perfect as anyone has the right to wish for, I can not let
this happen.
My epiphany came to me Saturday night as I watched "Gladiator".
Now I cringe when I say this, believe me, I am not the type to
derive meaning from Hollywood shlock, but it all became crystal
clear. (I started to explain just how my job mirrors "Gladiator",
but stopped when I realized how ludicrous it sounded. If only I had
a sword and some bitchin' fight scenes!) Suffice it to say, it would
be easy to let one particular person get the best of me, but it will
be far more gratifying to stick it out and prove who is right and
who is wrong.
Now that I've gotten all the crazies out...
So this is what has been going on in case anyone out there was
wondering. The actual situation is way more convoluted and detailed,
but despite all appearances to the contrary, I do like to retain a
modicum of privacy.
I've been on this new kick lately where I've been cooking. Ok, so
it's only lasted two days, I wouldn't exactly call that a trend.
More of an anomaly. In fact, the cooking streak ended tonight, but
I'm thinking of cooking like maybe Thursday. Possibly. We'll see.
Not that I would have anything against cooking on a regular basis,
it's just that I can't think that far ahead.
