Understandment
This story is written by Jello
We all finished warming up our voices, then glanced up at the ceiling, listening to the roar
of talking in the football stadium. As soon as our names were announced, we walked up to the
field. I heard one of the most common things I have gotten used to since we started the group:
A crowd of booing.
Even if I have been used to it, so much, being called gay, bi, stupid, swear words, the
booing still hurt. I understand completely that there will always be people who hate our guts, who
despise us, and will forever talk crap about us behind our backs. All 5 of us had grown to
understand that. But it still ticked me off a little that people wouldn't have the politeness to keep
their anger for us inside.
We got up to the podium. I stood in between Kevin and Brian. Aj and Howie were on my
left at the end, with Brian at the end on my right. We sang the National Anthem, just as we had
before warming up. We've done this before, many times. And each time, I always make sure to
sing my best, from my heart. It's still so hard to do it, considering all of the boos that were still
being thrown at us.
It's still hard.
When it was over, we waved goodbye to everyone, said thanks to our fans who were
present, and wished the football team goodluck. Kevin and I were going to stay for the game.
Come on, football! I'm not as into it as much as other people, but I always have a blast to sit and
watch a game, like a - well, person. I know I won't be called a REGular person, ever. I'll be known
as a Backstreet Boy. But, that's what I will sacrifice, to create music for people. It's what I do, and
what I enjoy.
During the game, we were asked from behind to have autographs. We're used to it. It
doesn't really bother me. Sometimes, though, I naturally DO wish that I could be like everyone
else, and not be so noticed. It's okay, though. I rarely think about that. It's great to make people
happy.
Unfortunately, it was mayham when we were leaving the building. We had to leave a half
hour before the game ended. It bugged me a little. What can I say, I'm human! The reason we had
to leave was the crowd. "Oh, well," is all I can say. :) As Kevin and I climbed into the car, I c
losed my eyes and took a small (not very well) nap.
****
I opened my eyes. Nick was patting me on the shoulder, telling me we were at the Mtv
studio. We were attending it, for a small showing on TRL. I love seeing the fans. It's great for the
support, and I love knowing that we're making all these fans happy. Aj, Howie, Nick and Kevin
climbed out of the car, with me in the middle. When we got out of our ride, there was a swarm of
fans, wanting autographs. I was a bit sad that we couldn't get as many, only a couple here and
there, since we're on such a tight schedule.
During the TRL interview, it was brought up about our girlfriends. I gave a small
grin, but inside, it hurt. I'm crazy about Leighanne, but so many people despise her for no reason.
They may have a reason, but it hurts sometimes. I've come to live with that. As Nick kept his
mouth shut, and a small grin on his face, I knew deep inside he felt both happy and sad with his
situation of a girlfriend. As I looked out to the fans in the TRL room, I made a small joke about Aj
and his girlfriend. Everyone laughed and I gave my grin. I honestly don't understand one thing…
****
Why do they always scream when I do this? I thought to myself. I've always wondered
what it's like to be a fan. As I sat down on the stage, Howie took the mich. He was the second one
to talk. Each of us got a turn, as always! But still, man, I don't understand why they scream when I
do the simplest things. Brian's always making jokes, and sometimes, the girls just scream, instead
of laugh.
Can someone explain that to me?
By the end of the concert, Nick looked wiped out under the stage. Kevin got more water,
and headed for the entrance. I quickly grabbed my clothes and changed. We all headed for the
entrance of the stage again.
By the end of the concert, Nick was defidently wiped out. I know there are fans out there,
who understand that it's tiring for us. But I wonder if the know what it's like to be up here,
performing? I love it, but it really can get tiring for the other guys. I get tired, too, I gotta admit.
We finished the last song, and ran off the stage waving to our fans by the sides, and heading for
the backstage, with a towel around my neck. I opened the doors.
****
All 5 of us entered our tour bus, just missing the trampling fans outside of it. Kevin took
his seat in his bunk, wiped out. We had just finished a small press conference, and were tired out. I
think all of us headed for our bunks. Of course, though, we waved to some of the windeows,
where fans were waiting outside of. How did they get back here? It's amazing. I love my fans. I sat
in my bunk, thinking about the previous episodes of the day. Unfortunately, we didn't get to call
our relatives. It was important, but a job is a job. I grinned as I thought of the present I got from a
fan at the conference on the way in. I was sick of gummi bears, but the thought of it was so
comforting. But then I remembered something that was so hurtful, I can't explain it. We were
passing by…there were fans waiting as we walked by, but on the side was a non-fan, and muttered
something cruel to me, about Caroline. It just hurt so much…I pulled out a magazine and started
reading.
****
Not again…Another article that called us "boy bands". It still annoyed me. I don't know
what we can do to prove to all these people that we're not some "boy band" and some flash in the
plash, however you call that. I even stated, what do we have to do to prove people about us? Talk
about world problems? Sex? Violence? What??
I know what it's like, though, to not be able to get respect, no matter what you do. It's
really odd, sometimes, though. I've been asked before, "Kevin, what's it like to have all this fame,
to be the number one act in the world?" I have asked myself that, too. Odd? I don't think it is. It's
everything: hell, heaven, hard, wonderful, everything. All the while, people try to bad-mouth you.
I have my faults, but I hate it when people lie about you. I've accepted that, though. You really
have to prove yourself.
I looked around the hotel room, and sighed, tossed the magazine on the table, and lay on
the couch. I closed my eyes.
Finally, something I've always enjoyed when I was on a break. The other guys were doing
the same.
Sleeping.
****
Jessi woke up,in a flash. What an odd dream…she thought to herself. She had never had
those kind of thoughts before. It must be hard to be those guys… Jessi sat back, and looked at the
pictures of the guys on her walls, and now she looked at them with a little bit more of something.
A bit more of something she'd always had for them before, but never really had much of. She
didn't know much about them, but now she felt she knew them more. And felt this more:
understandment.
The End
AUTHOR'S NOTE: so what do you think it is like for them? I hope this fanfic opens up some
people eye's. Always think about the guys, what it would be like in their position. Hope you enjoy
it, and have a little bit more of understandment. :)