Love Again
This story is written by Pey Jung
AJ and Annyss.......
AJ stared down at the fresh new grave. "Sophielia Jerrica Fowler McLean, aged 22. She will live forever in our hearts. " Sophie, his beloved, beautiful wife, was dead. She left him, all alone in this world. Kneeling down, he touched the gray stone, wishing with all his heart that he was touching Sophie. He was barely aware of the quiet sobbing beside him. Sophie's younger sister, Annyss. Standing up, AJ reached over to hug Annyss. Rain began to fall from the sky. Even the skies were sad at Sophie's departure from Earth. In the dark, depressing weather, AJ and Annyss shared their loss. Rain mingled with AJ's tears. The first tears he had shed since Sophie's death 4 days ago. And on that day, AJ had vowed that he will never love another.
*FOUR YEARS LATER*
Annyss bounced into the house, her step light with happiness. AJ will be so happy for me, she thought. "AJ!!" Spotting her brother-in-law in the kitchen, she flung her arms around him, nearly knocking him off his feet.
"Whoa, whoa, watch the coffee!" AJ cautioned, balancing his coffee cup.
"I got the job! You're looking at the youngest doctor in the Hospital of Florida!" Annyss grinned. She was so happy with her success.
"Way to go, kiddo! This calls for a celebration. How does dinner at the Green Duck sounded?" AJ asked.
"Sure!" The Green Duck was the most exclusive restaurant in the area.
"Better change your outift, then." said AJ, glancing at Annyss's torn blue jeans and wrinkled button-down shirt.
Annyss......
What would be right, I wondered. Finally, I picked out a white dress. As I dressed, I thought about AJ. Ever since Sophie's death, AJ had cared for me. But I cannot deny that I have fallen in love with my brother-in-law. Yet, I never told him anything. He still loves Sophie. I love Sophie. How could I do anything to betray her?
"Kiddo......"
It was not possible that AJ felt the same way. After all, he just saw me as his kid sister. But things might be simpler that way. I sighed. I was destined to love AJ from a distance for always.
AJ......
3 years. It had been 3 years since you left me, Sophie, I thought, touching Sophie's framed picture.
Anny was all grown up now. A doctor! It seemed just like yesterday I stayed up all night to give her company as when she was cramming through medical school. I sacrificed so much for Anny, Sophie. The band sacrificed along with me.
Anny......I sighed. Her face burned in my mind. She looked so much like Sophie, and yet so different. Over the years, tomboyish little Anny, whom I had always think of as just a little sister had stolen my heart. How much longer can I deny my feelings? I wondered. I love Anny. But where does that leave my loyalty to Sophie?
I looked at Sophie's picture again. "I vowed never to love another, Sophie," I whispered. I had already broken my vow by loving Anny. I knew that I could not pursue a relationship with Anny, as much as I love her. I also knew that Anny had feelings for me. I can see it in her eyes.
It was better for both of us act as if we didn't know anything. Life would be much simpler.
AJ and Annyss.......
"Thanks for the dinner," Annyss stopped outside her bedroom door. "Good night."
"Good night, Anny. Sleep well." AJ bent to kiss her on the cheek, like he always did. Somehow, his lips found her mouth.
Annyss felt her heart stopped short. Could she be dreaming? Tentatively, she rested her hand against AJ's neck and returned his kiss.
AJ wound his arms around Annyss's waist, deepening his kiss. He had denied his feelings for her for far too long. "I love you," he murmured.
A warning bell went off in Annyss's head. What am I doing? Summoning all her willpower, she broke free of AJ's embrace. She backed away. And slammed her bedroom door shut right at AJ's face.
Annyss......
I paced in my room. My thoughts were in a huge jumble. Conflicting emotions raged in me. Joy, sorrow, confusion. He loves me. And I love him too. So much. But it wasn't possible for us to be together.
"I'm sorry, Sophie. I'm so sorry." I whispered out loud. I was plagued by guilt. And because of that, I am now going to make one of the most difficult decisions in my life.
An hour later, I was ready. Taking my bags, I tiptoed down the stairs and left a letter in the kitchen.
"Good bye, AJ," I slipped out of the door, tears coursing down my cheeks. Resolutely, I shut the door. I was leaving the man I love.
AJ.......
You idiot. You stupid idiot. How could you do that? I berated myself. You totally lost control.
I glanced over to my dresser, to the picture of Sophie. "I'm so sorry, Sophie," I whispered. I knew what I had to do. I was going to have to hurt Anny. But I had no choice. I knew that I will feel guilty for the rest of my life if I was to be with Anny.
It was going to be a long night.
*THE NEXT MORNING*
AJ and Annyss......
AJ trotted down the stairs, rehearsing his apology. "I'm sorry...I got carried away......" He reached the kitchen.
"Anny?" he called. No answer. Then he saw the letter. Dread overcame him. He opened the letter.
Dear AJ,
I couldn't bring myself to face Sophie if I stayed. I love you so much. But I love Sophie even more. Please try to understand my actions. It is better this way.
It is impossible for us to love each other openly. We will always remember the shadow of Sophie, and we will always feel guilty. Sophie was dead now. We owed it to her to remain faithful to her memory.
I will always love you, AJ. Loving someone doesn't have to be being with them. Love means sacrifice.
I will take care of myself. I wouldn't let your efforts in me be wasted. Take care.
Yours
Anny
AJ clutched the letter in his hand. For the first time since Sophie's death 4 years ago, his tears fell.
*ONE YEAR LATER*
"Nicky!" Spotting Nick in the crowded airport, Annyss flung her arms around him. "I've missed you so much,"
"I've missed you, too, Anny," Nick looked at Annyss affectionately.
"Where are the others?" Annyss looked around her.
"Right here, kiddo!" Brian swept her in a big bear hug. The others hugged her in turn. Annyss scanned the faces before her. Nick, Brian, Kevin, Howie. He wasn't there. Annyss felt a strange mixture of disappointment and relief.
Brian seemed to read her mind. "He couldn't make it,"
Annyss forced a smile. "It doesn't matter." Changing subject, she said, "The Hospital of Kentucky transferred me here."
"Quit trying to change subject, Anny. Why don't you go and see him?" Kevin interjected bluntly.
Annyss shook her head. "I can't. I can't see him."
"I don't understand. You love him, he loves you. What makes it so hard?" Howie asked.
"Sophie."
"Anny. Sophie was gone for 5 years now," Brian said gently.
"The length of time doesn't matter. We both love Sophie too much. That's why we could never be together."
* * *
AJ..........
I laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. In my hand, I held a crumpled piece of paper with Brian's message.
" AJ, Anny is coming back today from Kentucky. 2.00p.m. flight. Think about it. Bri."
In the past year, I hadn't been able to forget Annyss. Not by a long shot. I thought about Annyss everyday. Ever since the day she left me.
Anny was back. And I wasn't less confused compared to a year ago. Nothing had changed. I still couldn't bring myself to love Annyss openly. There was always Sophie. My beloved Sophie.
"AJ......."
I looked up. I saw a halo of light. A shimmer of brown hair. A face. I couldn't believe my eyes. "Sophie?"
The face came into focus. "Hello, honey."
I clambered off my bed and ran towards the shining apparition. I reached out towards her. "Sophie, I missed you so much!"
"Honey, I haven't got much time here. I'll go straight to the point. Don't feel guilty because you love Anny."
I bowed my head. "I couldn't help it Sophie. I love Anny so much, I admit that. But everytime I see her, I see you. And that is tearing me apart. I still love you, Sophie. Don't you remember? I vow to love you and you alone for the rest of my life. By giving my heart to Anny, I have broken my vow. I cannot bring myself to love her openly."
"AJ, loving again isn't a crime. It is a sign of hope and living again. Honey, I have been gone for so many years. Nothing is going to bring me back. I release you from your vow. Open your heart to love again. Happiness is right in front of you. Don't let it go. Don't let Anny go. Never ever feel guilty. I give you my blessing. Love her with a full heart. Good bye, AJ. I have to go back to the Lord now. Remember me as a fond memory, not a chain."
I listened with a peaceful heart. I understood completely now. I reached out for Sophie's hand. I felt a pleasant warmth and saw the glow of light. "I love you, Sophie."
"I love you, too, honey."
The glow slowly disappeared and I was alone again. For the first time in 5 years, my heart lighten. I knew what I had to do.
* * *
Annyss....
I dumped my bag on the guest room of Brian's Florida mansion. "I won't impose too long, Bri. Just until I find a place of my own."
"Relax, Anny. Take your time. I'm not charging any rental fee," Brian grinned. Suddenly, the phone rang loudly. "Get settled, Anny. Take a bath, take a rest. Dinner will be ready soon." Brian said before running out to answer the phone.
I sat down on the comfy sofa and stared out of the window. The guys' questions burned in my mind. Being away for a year hadn't changed anything. My love for AJ hadn't faded. If anything, it was stronger than ever.
Outside, a young couple was strolling down the street hand-in-hand. I felt a strong pang of envy. I could never be like them. A tear trickled down my cheek. It wasn't fair. What did God have to play such a cruel trick on us? He made us fall in love, and He made us endured so much pain because of our love.
"Anny, sweetheart....."
I couldn't believe my ears. It wasn't possible. Or was it? I whirled around. A soft glow of light, a face. "Sophie?"
The face, framed with chestnut brown hair, came into focus. A well-loved, familiar face with a compassionate smile. "Hello, Anny."
"Sophie! Is that really you?" I gaped at the glowing angel.
"Yes, Anny. Anny, dear, I haven't had much time here. Please listen to what I have to say. Feel free to love AJ."
"I couldn't." I shook my head. "I felt as if I was betraying you, Sophie. I will never hurt you by taking your husband from you!" My tears are flowing earnestly now.
"I am no longer in the land of living. You are not taking AJ from me. He was never mine to begin with. When I left him, he was devastated. You taught him how to love and live again after my death. He fell in love with you because you are kind and caring. How can you feel guilty of these qualities you posses?"
I stared at Sophie. Hope blossomed in my heart. She didn't blame me. She understood.
"Promise me, Anny. Love him and cherish him with your whole heart and soul. Don't throw away this precious chance because of someone who was already dead. Treasure your love. Good bye, Anny. Remember that I love you always."
I blew Sophie a kiss as the light slowly faded out. "I love you, too, Sophie," I whispered. My gratitude and feelings overwhelmed me. For the first time in years, I felt free.
* * *
AJ and Annyss......
"RING!!RING!!RING!!!" Brian's doorbell rang loudly.
"Coming! Sheesh, where's the fire......" Brian flung open the door. "You know, Nick, there's always a time for......" Brian's words faded away.
"AJ?"
"Where is she?" AJ looked out of breath.
"Upstairs," Brian said knowingly. "Guestroom no.2,"
AJ ran up the stairs, just as Annyss was coming out of the door.
"Anny!"
Annyss's eyes grew wide. "AJ?"
They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. AJ took a step forward. Annyss ran towards him and flung her arms around him. Joy filled AJ's heart as he hugged her back, spinning her in circles.
Annyss was laughing and crying at the same time. AJ set her back down and brush her hair out of her face and wiped her tears. He stroke her cheek gently. Annyss returned his touch. And then he put his mouth on hers. They kissed.....and kissed again...and again...........
*TWO YEARS AND SIX MONTHS LATER*
AJ kissed Annyss and nuzzled her neck. Two years into their marriage, he felt truly blessed and happy. Both were gazing fondly at the bundle in Annyss's arms. Their daughter.
"What shall we name her?" Annyss glanced at her husband.
The idea struck at the same time. "Sophielia," both said at the same time. They laughed. "Sophielia Elizabeth McLean," Annyss said decidedly.
"Then, Sophie she shall be!" AJ kissed his daughter.
"Welcome to the world, little Sophie," Annyss murmured.
Suddenly, there was a glow of light. A gentle breeze. A shower of stars. Husband and wife smiled at each other. Sophie had given her blessings from the heavens above.
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