NO REGRETS - A Brian/Nick Story

There is an old saying, "between a rock and a hard place", but no one ever told me that this saying would come true for me, especially not in this sense. The whole thing started about four weeks ago as my best friend showed up on my doorstep wearing a raincoat because of the stormy weather and a frown that could chill any person to the bone. Without either of us saying a word, I just opened the door to let him pass by me and enter my studio apartment. This was the same thing that happened every time that he got into a fight with his girlfriend, whom later I would find out turned into his fiancée, nearly two months ago. The thing that happened next was something that I never expected to happen.

As I closed the door to my apartment, a pair of soft, strong arms surrounded my waist and pulled me back into the strong, hard chest of my best friend. "We can't..." I said beginning to protest, but it was no use. I had been in love with this man for many years, but I never had the time or the guts to tell him. Or was it the other way around, did he not have the time or the guts to listen to me.

"Just tonight, no regrets," he huskily whispered into my ear as he began to slowly kiss my neck. I didn't know what to do next, should I go with my feeling and give him the love that he needed or should I stop and tell him to leave, going off to ruin the rest of his life. Tears began to fall down my cheeks and I threw his arms down leaving him shocked as I made a mad dash for my bedroom.

As I got to my room, I sat down on the soft recliner, which was next to the large bay window that looked over the ocean, which was directly behind my home. I sat there a few minutes before a soft knock could be heard against my door. When I didn't answer the knock, I heard the doorknob turn before the door opened. I knew that I should have gotten that lock for my door after I moved in, but I had no time for small stuff like that, I thought to myself as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," he told me but didn't continue with what he was saying as I didn't answer. "Please say something."

"I can't. You asked me to give you something that I can't," I told him. With his reaction, I knew that he suddenly found out a secret that I had hid from him and most of my friends, especially my "GUY" friends.

"I..." I started but was stopped as he leaned down softly brushing his soft, cool lips against mine in a sweet kiss. This time I couldn't stop the kiss because he slowly snaked his tongue out and softly caressed my lips causing me to open my mouth to the sensation. The mingling of our tongues brought a soft moan from the back of my throat. With this sound, he knew that he had me in the palm of his hand and there was no turning back on my part or his.

The feeling of his lips against mine began to mess with the thoughts in my mind. I can't be doing this, he's my best friend, plus he has a girlfriend. I don't want to ruin what we have, I thought to myself before getting captivated in the movement of his lips against mine and his tongue gently stroking mine. As he softly broke the kiss, the two of us were breathless and as I got my breath back, I told him again, "We can't do this."

"All I want is one night. One night in your arms, away from the madness and pain," he told me. "Please just one night. No regrets."

The pleading in those strong, beautiful eyes made me forgot all the rest of the world and focus on just him and me as I breathed the one word that he wanted to hear against his lips. "Yes," I told him as his lips softly crushed against mine. As his lips played against mine in a sweet, yet sexual motion, I could feel one of his arms slowly run down my leg before the other wrapped around my back hoisting me up into his arms. Our lips continued to be pressed together as the fluid motion of him doing that movement caused a slight moan to escape the back of my throat. I opened my eyes and gazed into his eyes finding the love and passion there as he slowly laid me down on the bed. The softness of the bed became a new feeling to me; everything in this man's arms became a new feeling for me. I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek as he looked into my soft blue eyes, before slowly leaning forward and brushing his soft, cool lips against mine in another kiss.

He slowly pulled back, breaking our kiss as he gazed into my eyes. A softly whispered, “I love you,” came from my lips as his hands slipped down my body until they reached my hips. Tears began to form in my eyes as he pulled back and broke my heart using one simple word, "Don't." As the tears now streaming down my face fogged my vision, he pulled me closer to him and wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb before our mouths met in another heated, passionate kiss. He slowly slid his body over mine, as he slid his tongue into my mouth caressing my tongue in long, sensual strokes once again. His soft, strong hands slowly lifted the sweatshirt that I had been wearing over my head before he slowly broke our kiss as he trailed sweet little kisses down my neck and onto my chest. He smiled at me sexily as he slowly set his lips over my bra-covered nipple on my left breast. He softly kissed it before moving over to the right one and doing the same thing. He softly kissed my lips as he took one of his fingers and undid the hooks of my bra, which connected in the front. He slowly pulled my bra off before kissing my bare breasts.

After softly kissing each breast, he slid slowly down my body kissing every inch of it before stopping at my belly button. He slid his cold, wet tongue into it causing me to giggle. I kept laughing until I felt his finger slid down into my shorts and into the pair of small panties that I had on. I gasped as he slid one of his fingers into my wet center, feeling and see how wet I already was for him. My gasps became moans as he slowly slid another finger in before he began to pull them out and in, in long, sensual strokes. My breathing became ragged as I felt myself coming but he pulled his fingers all the way out before he quickly slid off my shorts and panties with one hand as he licked the other hand off.

He found his way back to my mouth and kissing me passionately letting me taste myself for the first time from his lips as I slid my arms up and around his back. Our tongues started an intimate war as I slid them down his back until I felt the soft silk material of his sweat pants. I slowly slid them off, leaving him in his boxers. The moment where he threw his pants to the side, I could see that he was very much in a state of arousal and he saw my eyes staring at him. He softly smiled to himself before saying, "Don't worry. I will be very gentle."

I couldn't speak to him, but I just simply nodded and watched as he lay back down on top of me. As he kissed me once again, he guided my hands to the bottom of his shirt. I followed his motions and in one fluid movement, the sweatshirt that he had been wearing was now on the floor with the rest of my clothes. As he lay back down on top of me, the now naked, soft, cool skin of his body against mine made goose bumps appear all over my body and this brought a soft, sweet laugh from his lips. The soft laughter from his lips became an icebreaker for the whole situation as I reached up and pulled him back down to kiss his now laughing lips.

As he once again lay down on top of me, I slowly broke our kiss and said in a soft, yet sexual voice. "I need you, I want you," I said before lifting my legs around his back sliding them down to the waistband of his boxers. The material slid easily between my toes and I slid them off of him tossing them to the side with my leg. I linked my legs back around his waist as he stopped us for a moment looking into my eyes as if to ask me if I really wanted this. The pleading look of pleasure, pain, and sorrow filling my eyes told him that the both of us needed this moment. "I'll be as gentle as I can," he said before he slowly slid into me. The pain of his entry and the pain of my heart falling apart became one in the same as he stayed that way for a few moments letting me get used to him. He looked into my eyes for a sign to continue, I didn't answer the unspoken question but I softly kissed his soon-to-be forbidden lips as he knew my answer. He slowly started to thrust in and out of me in long, full filling strokes.

As he did this, he began to kiss my neck again as we became faster and faster. I began to moan deeply and threw my one hand up to the bedpost to hold on for the ride of my life. Probably the only ride of my life with this man, I thought to myself as he kept hitting my sensitive, hot spot as he pulled in and out of me. I could feel my climax coming as my walls tightened around him as his thrusts got deeper and deeper into me. The both of us came together in cries of passion, that he softly muffled by kissing me deeply as I began to say the three forbidden words as he shot his load deep inside of me.

He softly pressed his damp, strong body against mine, so not to crush me, as we caught our breath. After we found our breath, he softly pulled out of me before rolling onto his back - taking me with him. I was lying with my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his pounding heart as he softly caressed my back causing me to drift off to sleep. In the back of my mind I knew that in the morning, the real world would once again come to life and my night with him would be only a memory and gone forever. But for tonight, I had the one man that I loved more than any else in this world. For one night, I had him, I had MY Brian.

The memories of that night played over and over again in my head, but I knew that they would never leave because they were still etched in my mind. I sat in my living room working on my latest creation, a story of forbidden passion and triumph, as the phone next to brought me out of my reverie.

"Hello," I said with a sigh.

"Girl, turn on the TV and put it on MTV. The guys are on TRL," my best friend and sister, Aphrodesia "Aph" McCarthy, said to me.

"I know that they are on TRL. I am their assistant and I am basically their publicist," I said to her.

"Yes, but Brian just said that he had to make an announcement," Aph said to me. As she mentioned the name of my best friend, I grabbed my remote to turn on the TV, as I did that, Carson Daly appeared on the screen saying that Brian had to say something.

"Brian, you said that you had an announcement for our audience," Carson Daly said. The next few words that came out of my best friend's mouth caused me to drop the phone and a scream to escape from my mouth.

"Yes, Carson, I wanted to announce that my girlfriend, Leighanne Wallace, and I are engaged to be married," Brian said, which were the last word I heard before my world went to black.

***********

I was awaken, what seemed like an eternity later, to the voices of Aph and my other best "male" friend, Howard "Howie" Dorough and the blinding lights of a clean, antiseptic room that had the smell of what my mind registered as sickness. I knew that I had to be in a hospital from the colors of the wall and the smell that flooded my senses.

"She's waking up," Howie's soft voice said to Aph.

"What...what happened?" I asked finding my voice a bit shaky.

"Calm down, sis. You passed out while I was on the phone with you and knocked your head," Aph told me as I suddenly felt the pain of my head flood into my body. The pain that I was feeling actually wasn't from my head, but from the breaking of my heart.

"I think I'm going to be..." I said before suddenly feeling a pan in front of me as the last thing I ate came back up. As I took the tissue that Aph passed to me, the worried look of my sister and Howie registered on my face. They know. They know my secret, I thought as a doctor interrupted us.

"Ah, Miss McCarthy, you have come back to us. How do you feel?" the smiling, young doctor said to me.

"Haven't felt better," I told him as I lay back onto the bed.

"Well, it seems that you have been feeling like this for a while. And I am sure that you know the reason," the doctor told me.

"Yes, I do," I told the doctor still noticing the worried faces on my friends' faces.

"Well, as far as the bump on your head, you should be fine. You may have to take a few aspirin, but as for your morning sickness, I am going to prescribe you something and also some pre-natal vitamins," the doctor told me as he handed me a few pieces of paper before saying. "Just get these prescriptions filled at the hospital pharmacy and I am releasing you into the hands of your sister. For the next few weeks, I don't want you to be by yourself."

"I won't be. I can promise you that much," I told him a little sarcastically as the doctor left with a smile and a knowing nod.

***********

"Morning sickness? Pre-natal vitamins? Sierra Oriana, you better explain yourself to me...To us," Aph said as I saw the worried look on her face and the shocked expression on Howie's face.

"What is there to explain, Aphrodesia?" I said to her using a thick gob of sarcasm in my voice.

"What is there to explain? What is there to explain? Very funny, Sierra. You are pregnant," the angry, shocked voice of Howie floated to my ears.

"Yes, Howie, I am. And I don't have to explain anything to you or Aph," I told him before saying, "I'm tired and exhausted. I want to go get some sleep."

"Fine, but when you get up. You are going to have to explain yourself," Aph said to me as I went to my bedroom leaving them to sit in the living room of my apartment. And I know how to make you talk, Aph thought to herself as she pulled her cell phone out.

"Who are you calling?" Howie asked her as he saw her using the phone.

"Someone that I think can get some answers out of her," Aph said to him.

************

As I laid there on my bed crying, I held a pillow, next to my stomach, where my only love was now. The soft, warm pillow still smelled of that forbidden man. With the words of the doctor, I knew for certain that the creation of my forbidden love for the man that held my heart was nestled in warmth not knowing of the pain his mother was going through. For some reason, I knew that I had to be having a boy. Deep in my mind and in my heart, I knew that a little boy with his father's blue eyes and laughing smile knew nothing of what was going on in the world around him. With a soft smile on my face, I cried myself to sleep thinking of how wonderful it would be for the man that held me once in this bed, would once again hold me, telling me of his love for me and his son.

Unknown to me, the mind of my sister was forming a devious plan to get me to talk. Nearly an hour after she had called him, the only one that knew my heart better than my love, my best friend, and my sister pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine of his forest green Durango. Nick Carter opened the car door and stalked to my door with one other person behind him – AJ McLean. Nick lifted his hand and was about to knock on the door, but the door suddenly opened in front of him.

"I thought that I told you to come alone," Aph said to him.

"Sorry, he was staying at my house and I didn't want to leave him alone," Nick confessed to her. "He's going through some trouble with Dawn right now and I was giving him a place to stay."

"Fine," Aph said moving aside to let the two of them into the room.

"Where's Si?" Nick questioned after remembering the conversation on the phone.

"She went to get some sleep..." Aph began but turned to see that she was suddenly speaking to a blank spot in the room.

***********

I had fallen asleep for about thirty minutes but was still laying there, awake now, as I heard the doorknob of my room being turned. I watched as his form moved from the door to the bed before lying down next to me, wrapping his strong arm around me.

"Shhh, girl. It's okay," Nick's soothing voice said to me. I had never told anyone of my night with my Brian, but now, for some reason, I was willing and wanting to tell his best friend.

"No, it's not okay," I said to him beginning to cry again. "Nick, I'm...I'm pregnant."

"I know," Nick said to me. "Aph told me that you were."

"No, Nick, it's not that I am pregnant. It's that the baby's father doesn't want the baby or me. Plus, I don't think that..." I started but trailed off.

"Don't think what? Come on, Si. You can tell me," Nick said to me.

"Nick, I'm going to tell you something that I want you to know before anyone else," I said to him.

"What is that, baby girl?" Nick said to me using the nickname that he had given me so many years ago.

"Nick, the baby's father is...is Brian," I told him.

"Brian?" Nick said the name of his best friend and my forbidden love in more of a question form than anything else. Letting the word register in his mind for a moment, I could feel that he began to loosen his grip on me. I lifted my hand and held him close to me.

"Nick, I wanted that night," I started to explain what happened, but lying in another sense, knowing that both Brian and I had wanted it for one reason or another. "He came here after another fight with..." I tried to say her name but it just wouldn't come out.

"I don't want to hear about it," Nick told me in a slightly angry voice. The anger in his voice wasn't that he was angry at me, but the anger that came from the green monster known as JEALOUSY.

"Nick, I..." I started but stopped talking as I felt him grab his arm back and lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Nick, he was in need and I was in love. That's what happened. Is that enough of an explanation for you," I said getting up and going over to the sit down on my recliner.

"It's not that," he said coming over to me and kneeling in front of me. "It's something else. Something deeper."

"Yes, it is something deeper. The deeper thing is that you are in love with me, but I am in love with your best friend, who I can't have because he is marrying a damn whore that wants him only for his money. But you know what Nick, screw you. Screw all of you," I told him.

"Well Sierra, you can take what you just said and shove it. I am not in love with you. I am your best friend and only want what is good for you and the baby," Nick said as the door to my room was suddenly swung open to reveal my forbidden love standing there.

"Baby? You damn, lying whore," the angry voice of my Brian suddenly floated into my mind and into my heart. "You told me that you were a virgin. You fucking lied to me." I couldn't find any words to say to him because the words that came out of his mouth pierced my heart and soul.

"Brian, you don't know what you are talking about?" Nick said standing up in front of me as a barrier to the harsh words, but those words had already made my heart start to bleed.

"Carter, keep your ass out of this. I should have known that you would come and get her. I have seen it so many times, how you would stand there and lust over her. Well, I guess that you had your chance, Carter. And I hope that you have fun with her, because I am out of here and out of both of your lives," Brian said before turning around to leave, but was blocked as Nick suddenly stood in front of him.

"Brian, the baby is...." Nick began but I stopped him by saying.

"Yes, Brian, the baby is Nick's. I was with him way before I was with you and you know what, I am happy that you are out of my life, or should I say OUR life," I said hugging my stomach as I watched him walk out of my room and out of my life. The sudden pain of my heart breaking, my world with my ONE coming to end, caused me to begin to feel dizzy once more, but this time, as I began to fall a pair of arms caught me before I could do anymore damage.

************

The sound of too many voices inside my head caused me to wake up, but the voices weren't inside of my head or my heart, they were coming from the three people that were standing around me.

"But what did she mean that the baby was yours?" Aph questioned Nick once more as I suddenly spoke.

"I..." I said but was suddenly stopped by Nick's voice.

"You're awake. Are you okay?" Nick asked me holding a cool washcloth against my head.

"Yes, I am fine," I told him.

"Si, what did you mean when you said that the baby was Nick's? Is that true? Is it his or are you covering up for someone else," Aph said proceeding to question me.

"No, it's not Nick's," I said to her before beginning to cry again. "But I want the rest of the guys to believe that it is."

"Why?" Aph said before coming to a sudden realization. "Oh my lord, Brian is the father. He said that you told him that you were a vir...Holy shit, you slept with Brian. Si, why didn't you tell me that you slept with Brian or that you were pregnant, because I heard you tell the doctor that you had already known."

"Aph, leave her alone. She's been through enough for today," Nick said to her as he stood up and softly picked me up into his arms, carrying me into my bedroom.

"Nick, can you make them leave? Please," I said to him.

"Of course, baby girl," Nick said to me before going back into the living room. From the spot, where I was laying on the bed, I could hear Aph begin to protest and telling him that I was in her care, but she was suddenly quieted as Nick told her that I was in his care, now. After telling her that, he told her that the four of us would discuss the rest of this matter in the morning. With a few more muffled words from my sister, she reluctantly left with Howie, telling Nick that she would be here tomorrow morning at 10 and not a minute later.

After letting the two of them out and locking the front door, Nick came back to my bedroom and closed the bedroom door before going over to the recliner that was near the window. I watched as he was about to grab the blanket that was over the chair, but I stopped him with the one word that had caused me the most pain in the world.

"Don't," I told him.

"Don't what?" he asked me.

"You don't have to stay on the chair," I told him. "Actually, I don't want you to stay on the chair. Please lay with me."

"I...I don't think that I should," Nick told me.

"Nick, I asked you to lay with me. Not sleep with me," I told him, but suddenly knew that I shouldn't have said those words. The look on his face showed me that I had hurt him with my words, hurt him in a way that only I could – mind, body, and soul.

"Nick, I didn't mean it that way," I told him.

"I know, it's just that I don't want to..." Nick started but stopped.

"Don't want to what," I questioned.

"Hurt you," Nick said to me softly as he sat down on the edge of the recliner, turning it to face me.

"Hurt me. How can you do that, Nick? When I have been hurt today, more than anything in my life," I asked him.

"No, not hurt you in that manner, but hurt you or the baby," he said to me.

"Nick, laying beside me and holding me, won't hurt me or the baby," I said to him.

"Okay, but you will tell me if I do something wrong, right?" Nick asked me with a worried look on his face.

"Don't worry so much," I said to him as I patted the spot that was behind me. "You will be fine," I said as he finally gave in. I watched as he took his pants off leaving him in boxers and a white t-shirt. The next thing that happened most Backstreet fans would have loved to have seen, Nick pulled his t-shirt off, showing me his firm, well-toned chest and abdomen, that seemed to glisten in the moonlight that was now filling the room. Nick, half-dressed and cool to my touch, laid down on the bed beside me, softly pulling me into his arms so that I laid against his chest and his arm softly, but securely holding my stomach.

"Nick?" I said looking up at him.

"Yeah," Nick said staring at the ceiling.

"You need to take off your shirt more often, you are hiding some sweet looking stuff here," I told him causing us both to laugh and easing some of the tension in the room.

"You are something else," Nick said to me before softly kissing my forehead. "Now, get some sleep, so that my niece or nephew can get some sleep, too."

"Nephew," I said to him.

"Nephew? You mean that you already know," Nick questioned me.

"No, not for sure, but I have a feeling that he is a boy," I told him.

"Okay," Nick said to me as if he trusted my words. "Fine, then. You need to get some sleep, so that my nephew can get some sleep, too."

"Nick?" I said to him again.

"Yes," he said to me.

"Sing to me. Sing to me like you used to do," I said to him.

"Okay," Nick said as he began to sing a song that I hadn't heard him sing in a while.

The words to the song that Nick picked to sing to me began to play over and over in my head as I fell asleep beginning to dream of what it would have been like if I would have loved Nick, instead of Brian.

The soft morning sun began to filter into the room as I woke up to the feeling of someone watching me. I opened my eyes to see Nick's soft aqua blue eyes staring at me. I was about to say something to him as the first wave of nausea hit me like a dump truck. I slammed my hand over my mouth and ran for the bathroom, making it to the toilet in time as what remained in my stomach came up. As I sat next to the toilet, waiting to see if anything else would come up, Nick was suddenly standing in the doorway with an annoyed face.

"What's wrong, Nick?" I asked him.

"There's someone here to see you," Nick said to me.

"Who is it?" I asked him, but Nick didn't answer me, so I just walked into the living room, seeing the last person that I had ever expected to come. Sitting on my couch was my forbidden love's cousin, who seemed pissed or more shocked than I was. From the look on his face, I could tell that he had figured out that I had lied to his cousin.

"Kevin?" I said to him, which caused him to look up.

"Si, I know that..." Kevin stopped as he saw Nick come out of the bedroom and stand behind me. "Can I speak to you alone for a moment?"

"No, she's..." Nick started, but I stopped him.

"Nick, why don't you go get us something to eat from the bakery down the street?" I said to him.

"But I don't think that's a good idea," Nick said softly to me.

"It's the best, for both of us," I said as I hugged my middle. Nick gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before going past Kevin to grab his car keys, which he had left on the table next to the door.

"Don't upset her," Nick said to Kevin in a soft, but orderly manner.

"I won't," Kevin told the young man, who had been his younger brother for so long, but now had seemed to grow up from one day to the next. There was a long silence between the two of us before the older, quieter man in front of me finally spoke in a soft, yet fatherly voice.

"Si, I knew that you lied to everyone. I know that you lied to Brian," Kevin said to me but held his hand up to stop me as I tried to speak. "Listen to what I have to say first before you say something. I know that you lied because you love Brian with something that no one has before, but the thing is that I don't know if he loves you or if he hasn't seen what I have seen."

"And what have you seen?" I said when he finally let me speak.

"I have seen deep inside that my cousin loves you with his body, his mind, but not his heart, yet," Kevin said to me, which caused me to look down at my hands, which were lying on my stomach. The last word of that sentence played over and over in my mind as I looked up to see Kevin softly smiling at me.

"Yet," I told him. "I wish that was true. Kevin, can I confess something to you?"

"Yes," Kevin said in a softer voice than he had been using.

"I had told Brian that I loved him, but do you know what he told me?" I said standing up to go look out the window next to my front door. When Kevin didn't answer me, I began to speak again. "He told me not to. I told him, 'I love you' and he said, 'Don't'. How can a person who has loved someone for so long hear those words from the one that she has loved?"

"I don't know," Kevin said to me as he came over to me. He stood beside me silently for a few minutes before continuing, "But if you want me to, I can help you get his heart."

I didn't answer him so he moved away from me and went to sit back down on the couch as I stood at the window beginning to cry again. I was still standing there as Nick came back followed by Aph and Howie. As Nick walked into the room and saw me crying, he came over to me but his gaze was on Kevin. His gaze was something that no one would ever have expected from Nick. His gaze was rock hard and cold as he looked at the older man, who had been his older brother and the one that he had looked up to for the past 9 years.

With my eyes, I gave Nick a look that he understood. With my eyes, I told him that I had to be by myself for a little bit, but I wanted to be with someone at the same time. Nick didn't say anything to the three people that were standing in the living room staring at us, but just took my hand and lead me into my bedroom, closing the door behind us. As soon as he closed the door, I broke down and began to cry even harder as I felt my knees become weak beneath me. I slowly began to fall to the ground, but Nick was suddenly standing there beside me and caught me in his arms.

"What did he say? What did he do to you?" Nick asked me after he picked me up and sat down on the recliner with me in his arms. I didn't answer him, just wrapped my arms around his chest and cried. So help me, God, if he did something to hurt her even more, I am going wring his neck and not let go until he has breathed his last breath, Nick thought to himself as he softly sang to me as he slowly rocked me back and forth.

For what seemed like an eternity, I laid there in Nick's arms just listening to him softly hum. I moved my head and looked up into his soft, aqua blue eyes, which were looking at me with such intensity and concern. "What happened?" Nick questioned me.

"He...he..." I said to him before suddenly stopping as I remembered the words that Kevin had told me.

But if you want me to, I can help you get his heart - the words began to play over and over in my head once again. His heart was something that I wanted to have, but I didn't think I could handle the pain of getting it. I gave Brian something that I had wanted to give him since the day that my feelings for him had changed so many years ago.

"Si, what's wrong? What did he tell you?" Nick said to me as he noticed me thinking of something.

"He offered me...he offered me the help to get his cousin's heart," I finally told Nick as the words crept from my lips in the same amount of pain as they had caused my heart.

"And I stand at that offer," Kevin's deep voice said from the door.

"How can you give me something that even the person who owns it won't give to me?" I asked him.

"I have a plan, if you and Nick will help," Kevin told me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked Kevin.

"I'm doing this to help you, my cousin, and my second cousin. Every since that night, I had noticed a change in Brian, but it wasn't a change that was visible from the outside, but on the inside. The way that he mentioned your name after that night, he was happier with the sound of your name on his lips. He has even defended you in front of Leighanne," Kevin told me but stopped as he noticed the cringe on my face from his mentioning of HER name.

The plan that Kevin had been talking about was to keep Brian convinced that the baby was Nick's until the moment that Brian himself found out that he was such "a dumbass" - which were the exact words that came from Kevin's lips - that Brian would forget that he had yelled at me and accused me of doing something I hadn't done. The day that the plan began was the first day of the first leg of the Boys' tour of Europe for their Black and Blue album, which was almost four weeks after the whole mess had started. By this time, I was already 8 weeks pregnant – not enough to show, but anyone could tell that I was pregnant from the amount of morning sickness that I had been having. From the time that I had found out that I was truly pregnant, my morning sickness seemed to have gotten worse, or was it just the stress of everything that had happened.

"Oh, lookie here, it's Nick's little whore," a shrill, annoying voice said to me as I was grabbing my bag from the van that had brought Nick and me to the arena, where the guys first show was going to take place that night.

"Excuse me," I said turning to the owner of the voice, which, of course, was Leighanne.

"Ooh, did I hurt someone's feeling with the truth? And you better stay away from MY Brian or something worse will come to you and that bastard that you are carrying," she said emphasizing the words "my Brian" as she walked away with a toss of her long, blond hair.

"Damn, I fucking hate her," I said before my newest worrywart came up behind me and asked.

"Who do you hate?" Andre, my bodyguard, said to me.

"Nobody," I said to him grabbing my bag from the floor, where I had dropped it, before following Andre into the back door of the arena.

"Damn, girl, you need to relax a little," Andre told me as we got to the area, where all of the guys were standing chatting with each other.

"Relax? Andre, how can I do that, when I am sick all the time, plus, have three grown men on my ass all the time about such little stuff that I can do with no help at all," I told him.

"Geez, kid, don't give me the drill. I know," Andre said giving me a wink as he delivered me to Nick's side. "Here she is. Safe and sound and back in one piece," Andre told Nick before going to join the rest of the bodyguards, knowing that I was safe standing next to Nick.

"Get what you need?" Nick asked me before softly kissing my cheek.

"Yeah," I told him sitting down in his lap before mentally adding, and a little something else from someone that I wish I wouldn't have gotten. Damn bitch.

Nick turned back to his conversation with the guys, which seemed very boring, especially since I had to watch as the "thing" put her ugly, grubby paws all over the man that I wanted - and needed – more than anything else. I knew that she had the enjoyment of watching me squirm as she softly kissed Brian's neck and whispered something in Brian's ear that caused him to laugh. The laugh that had once belonged to me, but was now for someone that wasn't even there for his heart, but just for his money and her career.

"Nick, I have to go to the bathroom," I said to him. I only got a nod from him as he was talking to Howie about something – what seemed too important to only him – VIDEO GAMES. I got up and started to walk toward the long corridor that would take me to the bathroom. I noticed that Andre was about to follow me, but I motioned for him to stay, which I would soon find out that I would have regretted.

************

A few minutes later, I was standing in the bathroom washing my hands as the door to the women's bathroom opened to reveal her standing there in close distance to me once again. She walked up to the sink next to me and set her purse down on the counter, grabbing a tube of lipstick out and reapplying the reddish hue to her cold, hard lips. As I finished washing my hands, I went over and took a paper towel from the dispenser as her voice penetrated my ears once again.

"Well, it seems like soon you won't be the only person on this tour that will be knocked up," Leighanne told me as she turned to me with a cold, evil smile on her lips. "And I will finally have what you couldn't have and the one in the middle won't even have to do a thing," she told me before stalking out of the room.

That's what you think and I am going to save Brian, because I do have something that you will never have. I have Brian's mind and soul, but the only thing that I need now is his heart, which you are probably going to break into a million pieces, I thought to myself before I walked out of the bathroom. As I walked back to the area where the guys were sitting, I started hoping that Kevin's plan would work soon and I could save Brian from the same heartbreak that he had shown me.

But sometimes fate helps a little and brings answers to questions, yet to be asked or yet to be known. I knew that she was going to do something to hurt Brian, and I knew that I was the one who had to find out what was going to happen. For Brian's sake, and for my baby's sake.

***********

That afternoon before the concert, I had told Nick that I wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay back at the hotel for the night. As the day wore on, Nick became more reluctant to let me stay at the hotel by myself. Nick told me that he could tell the guys that he wasn't feeling well either and stay with me.

"No, I will be fine. Plus, most of the girls at that concert came to see you," I told him.

"Are you sure that you are going to be okay?" Nick asked me for the hundredth time that night since I told him that I wanted to stay.

"Yes, I will be fine," I told him, giving him a soft kiss against his cheek. "And plus, knowing you, Andre will be outside my door at all times."

"You know me too well," Nick said to me before laying his hand on my stomach as he talked to the baby growing inside of me. "Now, you let your mama rest for a while. Okay?"

After Nick had done that, Billy, Nick's bodyguard, came to the semi-open door to the hotel room and told Nick that the van was waiting to take him and the rest of the guys to the arena.

"I'm coming," Nick said to him, grabbing his backpack, before turning to me once again and kissing my cheek as he said, "I will call you after the concert is over."

************

After knowing that all of the guys were gone and from getting my own little information earlier from Andre, I knew that Leighanne was in Brian and her room right now with another man. A little bit of the devious side of me came out as I exited the room as Andre told me that he had to go to the restroom and would return in a few minutes. I knew that this was my opportunity to find out for myself, if my assumption was right. But most people know that assuming makes "an ass out of you and me".

I got to Brian's room, which happened to be two doors down from Nick and my room, and was about to knock on the door as I heard the voice of a man say to Leighanne.

"Well, I guess we are finally getting our money worth out of this one," the man said to Leighanne, who promptly replied.

"Yeah, but this guy is a little harder to get through. I had to get him to propose to me, so he would stay away from that conniving, little tramp of a best friend," Leighanne told him.

"Yeah, but she's knocked up by another one, isn't she?" the guy said to her.

"Yeah, but she is still trying to get into the way of my money," she told him.

"Well, baby, I got all the money you need, right here," the guy told her before a round of giggles came from Leighanne, which caused me to almost throw up from nausea.

I finally have the information that I need to get her out of Brian's life, but how do I convince Brian of what I heard, I thought to myself as I got back to my room right before Andre came back from the bathroom. I looked at the clock and noticed that there were still 30 minutes before the concert would start, so I did the one thing that I knew I had to do.

I grabbed my cell phone from the bedside table and dialed Brian's cell number. I waited a few minutes before the voice of my forbidden love came onto the phone.

"Hello," Brian's voice said to me.

"Brian, it's Sierra...please don't hang up," I said as I heard a sharp, but quick pause.

"What do you want?" was the cold, hard answer that I received from Brian's end.

"We need to talk," I told him.

"I can't and don't want to talk to you," Brian told me.

"I didn't mean this minute. Can we talk tonight after the concert? It is really important and we can talk in my room," I told him.

"Fine, but without Carter," his stern voice told me.

"Don't worry, I will get rid of him," I told him. Somehow, I thought to myself.

"Fine," Brian said before sharply adding, "is that all?"

"Yes," I told him before hearing the phone go dead against my ear before thinking half-heartedly to myself, I love you.

*************

The way that I got rid of Nick was to tell him that I needed something from the convenient store that was in the lobby of the hotel that we were staying at. A few minutes after he was gone, someone knocked on my door and I knew who it was before answering. Standing there in a blue sweater and khaki pants was the man that I had been wanting and needing more and more for the past two months, the one that had given me the precious being that I now carried inside of me. I held the door open and watched as he entered before asking what I wanted as I shut the door.

"Well, good evening to you, too," I said to him.

"Cut the bullshit, Sierra. What do you want?" he said to me.

You, I thought to myself before finally saying the words, "It's about Leighanne."

"What about her? You still convinced that she is not good enough for me, that I made a bad decision, that I shouldn't marry her. Cut the crap and tell me the real reason that you wanted to talk," Brian told me in a cold voice.

Before I knew what I was saying, I said the words that I had been practicing all day, "Brian, Leighanne's cheating on you with another man. And she is marrying you for your money."

The next thing that happened, I never thought would ever occur in this lifetime or be performed by the man standing in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Brian's hand raised up and pulled back, before it struck my face, I already felt the sting of his hand connecting with my face. SMACK. The sound of his hand slapping against my face echoed in the room, but nothing prepared Brian for what happened next. As soon as his hand connected with my face, a large male hand connected with Brian's nose causing the same effect to happen to Brian, which happened to me. The two of us fell to the floor: Brian fell with a loud thump, since he didn't have the owner of the hand standing behind him. I fell into Nick's arms, which held me close, as he said the words that stung Brian's heart and mine.

"Littrell, get your fucking ass out of here. You better never come near Sierra and your baby, again, or so help me God, they will have to mop one of us off of this floor with a squeegee," Nick yelled at Brian.

The words that stung my heart was that Nick had finally told Brian the truth that I had been holding back. Nick had let the cat out of the bag and told Brian that the baby was his. But Brian or I couldn't say anything, since Nick's yelling caused the rest of the guys, Leighanne, Dawn, and Aph to show up at our door.

"Awe, my poor baby, what did that meanie do to you?" Leighanne said as she was suddenly at Brian's side, who was holding his shirt to his own nose to keep the blood from running. Brian didn't say anything, but just let her help him off the floor, and followed her out of the room passing by four faces that threw hard, cold daggers at him and the hardest face of them all was that of Aphrodesia, who he knew wanted more than revenge for her sister.

What did I do to you to deserve this? How can I know what you want now that I have ruined our friendship, our love, and our lives by telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I thought to myself watching the scene unfold in front of me.

"Si, are you okay?" Nick's voice brought me out of my thoughts as I had watched Brian leave the room.

"Yes," I said to him in a soft, yet angry voice as Howie handed Nick a washcloth that he had gotten from the bathroom and let cold water run over. I winced in pain as he put the washcloth against my already swelling cheek and eye.

"What happened?" Kevin questioned me as he helped Nick pick me up off the floor, so I could sit on the bed.

"I don't want to talk," I told them, mostly Nick, in a stern voice. The coldness in my voice could have made even a penguin freeze to death by its sound.

"I think that it would be best, if we left this for tomorrow," Nick told them, but as everyone began to file out of the room, I stopped them in their tracks.

"No, there won't be a tomorrow," I told them. "I am going home and not a one of you is stopping me from going."

"Home? Why do you want to go home?" Nick questioned me.

"Because I can't handle this. I can't handle the stress, it is not good for me or the baby," I told him ignoring the fact that he could ask me such as stupid question at the wrong time.

"Then I am going with you," Nick told me.

"Carter, you know for sure that you can't do that, and right now, I don't even know if I want you with me," I told him finally revealing my anger and displeasure for him.

"But you can't go by yourself," Kevin told me seeing the shock on Nick's face as the cold, hard words of my answer were finally registering in Nick's mind.

"I won't be by myself," I told him. "I will have someone that loves me with unconditional love and won't break my heart over and over again into a million pieces, because you know what, my heart has been broken so much over the past two months, that I don't think that it could be broken ever again."

"Sierra, that's not an answer," Nick said to me finally coming back to himself.

"Well, telling Brian that he was my baby's father was not the answer, either," I told him coldly as I began to pack up my stuff.

"Why are you packing? You haven't even called the airport," Aph asked me.

"Actually, I called the airport after I called Brian and booked a flight back to Orlando which will leave in a little over an hour," I told her. With those words, I was left alone in the room to complete my packing. The coldest thing that I did was not say good-bye to any of them, but just walked out of the hotel with my bag over my shoulder and my heart lost forever.

That rough, hard night had been nearly five months ago, but the worse pain that I would go through was yet to come. After leaving that hotel, I went into a deep depression that could only be solved by two things – the love of the people that I had once known and the love of the man that I couldn't have, but I wouldn't let either of those things happen because I tried to block them all from my life. The strangest thing that I did when I returned home was to move into Nick's parents' home.

That night, I was laying on my bed listening to Nick's mom try to convince her son that she didn't know where I was, which she had faithfully done every time that he called; even though, the pain of her lies were causing both Nick and me more harm than good. But the surprise that would cause my pain was what I heard at the end of her conversation with her oldest son.

"Nick, you can't come over. I am having company over," Jane lied to her son, but there was no convincing him now. After those few words, I heard her lay the phone down on its receiver before coming to my bedroom door and knocking softly. I didn't say anything, but just allowed her to enter at her own will.

"Sierra, sweetie, I have some news," Jane said to me.

"I know. I heard," I told her.

"Are you going to talk to him?" she asked me in a concerned voice.

"I guess I will have to," I said to her, since at my last doctor's appointment, which had been that very morning, the doctor had told me that I couldn't leave my bed and put me on a strict diet because I had lost more weight than I had gained. The only way that anyone could tell that I was pregnant was the soft bulge of my stomach, which could be seen under the wool blanket. I softly began to stroke my stomach as Jane left the room after hearing my answer. "Don't worry, my little one. Everything will be fine. You and I will have your daddy back and hopefully, your mama's best friend, too," I whispered to my sleeping baby.

************

About an hour later, I could hear commotion coming from downstairs and listened as not only Nick's voice filled the room, but also the voice of my forbidden love. At the sound of his voice, I already began to cry, I didn't think that I could cry any more after the amounts of tears that I had shed in the past five months.

**************

"Where is she?" Nick sternly asked his mother.

"She...she's not here," Jane told him trying to keep the lie that she had been told by Sierra, but knew how much it was breaking Si's, Nick's, and Brian's heart all at the same time.

"Jane, you know that I know that she is here. Please. I need to see her and talk to her," Brian said with a hint of pain, confusion, and love in his voice. "I did something to her that needs to be fixed."

"I know, Brian," Jane said three words that brought a shocked, gasping sigh from Nick's throat at the sudden realization that Brian had been talking to his mother. Jane moved out of the way and finally motioned for them to go ahead and go up the steps.

************

When the voices that were floating into the room from downstairs had finally stopped, I knew that Jane had told the two of them that I was here. I lay there on my side with my hands protectively laying on my stomach as the door to the room opened. I didn't look at the two of them, but I could hear the shock in Nick's voice as he spoke to me.

"Sierra?" Nick spoke, actually breathed, the word. When I didn't turn to him, he was about to come over to the bed, but Brian held him back as if to tell him that he wanted to talk to me first. Nick nodded to him in realization of his unspoken words before allowing Brian to go toward his best friend.

"Sierra?" Brian said to me as he came over to me and kneeled next to the bed, so that I was facing him. When I didn't answer, Brian continued to tell me what he had been wanting to say for the past three months.

"Si, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you when you told me that Leighanne wasn't good for me. You were right. She was cheating on me, but I had to see it for myself. The truth of that hurt me, but I know that nothing hurt me worse than when I told you that you had lied to me. I know that you didn't. And I'm asking you to forgive me for being the biggest asshole in this world..." Brian told me until I finally stopped his babbling with a soft, sweet kiss on his lips.

"Littrell, you know you talk too much," I told Brian, which resulted in a shocked look from him.

"Forgive me? Please forgive and trust me," Brian said to me in pleading manner. "I love you, sweets."

"Don't," I told him, which resulted in Brian giving me a shocked look as I told him the word that had broken my heart so many months ago.

"Not yet. I can't trust or forgive you, yet, and I will always love you but I don't think that you truly love me, yet," I said to him when he didn't speak. "Not in the way that I love you."

Brian let those words register in his mind, before saying to me. "Fine, then if you don't trust me. Will you at least move in with me, so I can take care of you and OUR son," Brian said to me. Those last two words brought a gasp from Nick and my mouths. I hadn't told anyone but Jane that the baby truly was a boy.

"How?" I asked him in shock. Brian didn't say anything, but pulled something out of his pocket. The thing that he pulled out of his pocket was something that I didn't know that he had.

"This," Brian said to me showing me a copy of the ultrasound picture that I had gotten nearly a month. Brian looked at my face to see the shock that was there before confessing, "Jane had sent it to me. I had been talking to her for a while...actually ever since you left."

"How? Why?" I asked him before listening as Brian told me the truth.

"The night after you left, Kevin came to me and told me that the baby wasn't Nick's, but mine and when he told me that, I told him that he was lying. After telling him that, Howie, who had come with Kevin, told me to get it through my thick skull that the baby truly was mine. When Howie told me that the baby was mine, I knew that it had to be true, because D had never told any of us a lie. From that moment on, I knew that I had to talk to you, but I couldn't because you were gone and because of what I had done to you," Brian said telling me what had been on his heart for the past four months.

"Brian, you know that I can't trust you, but I will move in with you," I said to him before finally saying the words that I had been wanting to say for a while, "just for the sake of my...our son."

"Thank you," Brian said to me as he leaned forward to kiss me, but I stopped him.

"Not yet," I told him as I opened my arms to hug him. As Brian came into my open arms and softly hugged me, I noticed that Nick was gone. "Brian, where is Nick?" I asked him as he sat back staring at me.

"He's..." Brian said turning to where his best friend had been standing before noticing that he was gone. "I don't know," Brian said before Jane came into the room answering my question.

"He's out back," Jane told Brian, who was looking at her with a questioning face. Brian nodded to Jane as the unspoken words passed between the two of them.

"Sweets, I will be right back," Brian told me as he softly kissed my cheek.

"Okay," I told him knowing that he was going after Nick.

**************

The full moon was casting a silvery glow on the ocean as Nick sat on the beach watching the waves take parts of the white sand back into the ocean with it. Jane had sent it to me. I had been talking to her for a while...actually ever since you left. Those words played over and over in Nick's head as he threw a rock that was sitting next to him into the ocean with all the anger that was filling him.

"He knew where she was and didn't even tell me. He knew how much that I needed her and loved her," Nick said as he wiped away the tears that were now falling down his cheeks. "How could my mom not tell me that she was here? Of all places, right here under my nose. I could have had her back weeks, or even months ago. Why didn't she tell me that she was here?"

"Because I told her not to tell you," Brian's voice told him causing him to turn to see the older of the two standing there with a face that was mixed with the emotions of guilt and satisfaction.

"You told her not to. How could you? You knew that I loved her. How could you have sleep with her and leave her? How? Who in the world gave you the permission to take her heart and break it into a million pieces?" Nick asked him finally spilling the words and thoughts that had filled his head these past few months.

"Because I love her. Yes, Nick, I said that I love her," Brian said as he saw Nick's shocked face. "I didn't know it then, but after she left, I realized that I did."

"Well, I love her with more than my heart. I love her with my mind, body, and soul," Nick said finally saying the words that he had wanted to say for so long.

Standing there a few minutes, Nick knew that his feelings weren't shared by the man standing in front of him, as he saw Brian's fist come up and hit him square in the nose. As Brian was about to hit him again, someone's hand came up and held him back, causing Brian to whirl around.

"Brian, you should be ashamed of yourself. You got what you came for. Now, go and take Sierra back to your place before I have to hurt you," Howie said to him looking at one of his good friends with an evil eye. Howie watched as Brian pulled his hand away and walk back to the house without a single word before leaning down and helping his younger "brother" off the ground.

"You didn't have to..." Nick began but was stopped by Howie's words.

"Nick, don't say that I didn't have to come. I came because I knew that you would need more help than you thought you did," Howie told Nick as they began to walk back to the house.

***********

As Brian came back into the room, I knew that something must have happened between Nick and him because I could see that his ocean blue eyes had turned gray from anger and pain. Brian looked up at me, as I didn't say anything as he came in, and saw in my eyes that I somehow knew what had occurred on the beach.

"Brian, what happened? Where's Nick?" I asked him getting a little concerned.

"He's not coming, but I will be back in a few minutes to get you," Brian told me.

"No. I want to stay, but just for tonight," I told him as he gave me a shocked face.

"Do you think that is a good idea?" Brian asked me.

"Yes, but I want to stay here by myself," I said in a manner that told him that I wanted to stay without him.

"Okay," Brian said knowing that he wouldn't win this argument with me, but also knowing that he had a gained a little of the trust back that we once had.

***************

About 10 minutes after Brian left, Howie came into the room with Nick, who was holding a wash cloth to his still bleeding nose. I was sitting there talking with Aph, who had come into the room after Brian had left.

"Oh my gosh, Nick, what happened to you?" I asked.

"Brian. That's what happened to me. The asshole of a best friend that I have hit me in the nose," Nick said sitting down in the chair next to my bed, which Aph had vacated.

"He hit you? Why?" I asked him.

"Because I told him that I..." Nick said but stopped not wanting to say anything in front of Aph or Howie, who weren't really paying attention to us, but paying more attention to the kiss that they were sharing.

"Excuse me, Dorough. What in the world are you doing to my sister?" I asked him.

"Actually, if you want to know. I am kissing my fiancée," Howie told me as Aph showed me the ring that had suddenly appeared on her finger.

"How in the world...actually, when in the world did this happen?" I asked them.

"About two weeks after you left," Aph said under her breath.

"What? When were you going to tell me that you were dating or even engaged?" I asked her.

"Girl, I didn't want to stress you out. Plus, Howie and I have actually been dating for the past 2 years," Aph told me.

"Two years. What? Nick, did you know about this?" I asked.

"Yes," Nick simply answered looking at me in a weird way.

"Nick, why are you looking at me like that?" I asked him.

"You are going with him, aren't you? She left and, now, he wants you to take her place. The place that she couldn't fill, he wants you to fill. I can't believe you, Sierra," Nick said to me.

"Nick, I'm not filling any place that she couldn't fill. I am going to stay with him because he wants to take care of his son," I told him emphasizing the word "HIS".

"His son? His?" Nick said staring at me with cold, blue eyes. "Last time, I saw you, you didn't even want to talk to him. You wanted him to never know about his son."

"Yeah, but I couldn't keep that a secret. Or should I say that you couldn't keep that a secret," I said to him. "Well, Nick, I hope that you know that this baby will never be yours, because I don't love you. I have never loved you as more than a friend and that is all you are."

"Well, Sierra, I don't think that I can even be that," Nick told me before leaving the room. Howie followed Nick out of the room leaving me with my sister, who had the look of shame and anger on her face.

"Si, that was rough. You don't know how much that he has been through in the past few months," Aph told me.

"What he has been through? Him?" I told her. "Aph, you don't know what I have been through. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept, and I haven't even been out of this room because I missed him so much. Aph, I know that I love Brian with all my heart, but know Nick wants me to love him, too. I can't do that. I can't love both of them with the same love. I don't even know if I can love only one of them."

"Well, Si, that's something only you can solve. I can't do anything to help you with that one," Aph told me before leaving the room to find her fiancé.

"Well, I can only solve this one way," I said to myself before grabbing my cell phone, which was on the table beside me. I dialed Brian's number and simply said one sentence to him. "Brian, come get me," I told him.

"Okay," Brian told me. "I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

It had been nearly a month since I talked to Nick and the night that I moved into Brian's home. When I moved into Brian's home, Brian gave me the opportunity to stay in his room or another room. For the first few weeks, I had stayed in another room, but one night that all changed. The night was after I had finally talked to Nick, who had asked me again if I was doing the right thing staying with Brian, when I knew that his heart was not in the situation. I told him that I had done the right thing and was going to stay with Brian with his consent or not.

"Is everything okay?" Brian asked me as I got off the phone with Nick.

"Just peachy. My world is falling apart once again. I try to apologize to him, but he takes my apology as another way of getting me away from you and to stop my heart from loving you," I said to Brian before realizing the words that had come out of my mouth.

"So, you do love me," Brian said in the way of a question rather than a statement.

"Yes, Brian, I do love you," I said to him.

"I love you, too, Sierra," Brian said to me before he leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. After kissing for a few minutes, Brian helped me up from the couch, where I had been sitting, and lead me into his bedroom. He helped me out of my robe before we crawled onto his bed.

As we were now lying there face to face, Brian softly ran his finger over my lips. To his surprise, I softly took his finger into my mouth. I could hear him groan softly as I sucked on his finger. He urged me softly and easily onto his lap, so that I lay with my belly facing him.

"Kiss me," he said with a combination of pleading and passion. I slowly leaned forward and rubbed my mouth lightly against his. His tongue darted over my lips before sliding inside and taking me with his mouth. My heart pounded softly against my chest as I could feel Brian's heart pounding against my palms as I spread them softly across his chest.

Brian wanted to softly pull my large T-shirt over my head, but stopped at my neck as if he didn't want to pull his mouth away from mine. With a sigh, he pulled away as he tugged my shirt softly over my head. He ran his hands softly over my bare torso before moving down to my panties, that he slowly pushed low on my belly.

"Oh, Sierra, you have no idea what seeing you like this does to me," Brian softly whispered to me as he looked at me with his beautiful eyes. "But you will. Up on your knees, sweets."

"Why?" I said to him before doing as he told me to do.

"You will see," he said to me. He stroked my swollen tummy softly before kissing every inch of it. He ran his soft, sweet hands over my swollen breasts before lightly kissing my swollen, hard nipple.

"Brian, please," I pleaded with him softly.

"Come on, baby. Tell me what you want," he said to me as he slipped two of his fingers into my wet center.

"I want you, Bri...I wanna feel you inside of me," I said gasping as he thrusted his fingers in and out of me.

Brian softly removed my panties before lifting up my bottom, so I could help him remove his boxers. After they were discarded, he softly helped me take him inside of me. I softly moaned in pleasure as he filled me completely.

"Baby, open your eyes," Brian said before I opened my sky blue eyes to look into his beautiful ocean blue eyes. "You are so beautiful."

Brian softly drew my mouth to his before he softly cupped my bottom as he led us in a mind-bending rhythm. Everything but the two of us faded from my existence.

Lifting one hand, he stroked my jaw as he consumed me with his mouth and tongue, echoing our deeper intimacy. Swollen with anticipation, I felt my body tighten around him. The combination of passion and please became too much. I shattered around him, my climax shuddering through me.

Brian gave a low groan that vibrated through my mouth, through my being, as he spilled his pleasure into me. After gaining our breaths back, Brian helped me lay on my side with a pillow under my large tummy for support. Brian softly wrapped his arms around my belly, protecting our little baby and me. "I love you," he softly whispered into my ear before placing a soft kiss below my ear lobe.

"I love you," I whispered to him before falling asleep in the warmth and love of his arms. I knew from that moment, I would always have him in my life; but the three words that I had spoken would soon be another downfall for me in more ways than one.

The night after Brian and I had "made up", I had gone out with Howie, Aph, AJ, and Dawn (AJ's wife of two and a half years). Brian was concerned about my going out since I was a little over eight months pregnant, but I could tell that the concern was not for me but for our son. I told him not to worry, that if anything happened, I would make sure that the guys would call him. Well, nothing happened to me until I got home. I told the guys later as they dropped me off at Brian's home.

"Be careful, girl," Aph called to me as I got to the door and they pulled out of the driveway.

"I will be," I told her as I turned using my key to open the door. As I opened the door, I noticed that the house was very quiet, but I didn't think of anything being wrong, since Brian usually stayed late at the studio or was usually at Kevin's house for a while.

After putting my jacket into the closet, I walked up the steps and went toward Brian's bedroom as I heard laughing come from behind that door. I noticed that the door to Brian's room was slightly open. I slowly went to the door and saw through the crack that Brian was laying on top of...LEIGHANNE. I couldn't believe my eyes. Brian had told me that she was gone, out of his life, but that was just another lie, another heartbreak.

I didn't say anything, but turned around going to the room that I keep my clothes in. I grabbed my backpack throwing clothes into the bag as I grabbed the keys to my VW Beetle that Brian had brought over to his home a few days after I moved in. As I walked passed the door to Brian's bedroom, I heard Brian call "LEIGHANNE" in the heat of passion and I knew the words that were coming next. As I slipped by the door, I heard him tell her – "I LOVE YOU". I slipped down the steps quietly as I could, and quietly walked to my Beetle, but as I got in the driver side and turned on the car, my heart broke once again, because the radio came on and the song "I'LL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART" began to play. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and slowly drove down the driveway, onto the street, hoping that I would never have to see or hear those words again.

**************

The rain began to softly fall onto my car as I headed onto the highway. Highway? Why the highway? I asked myself, not knowing where I was going. Well, let's see. I can't go to Kevin's because he is Brian's cousin; I can't go to Howie or Aph, they are probably having the time of their lives; and there is no way that AJ could keep the secret of where I was.

I continued to drive for about 20 more minutes in the now, pouring down rain as I read the next sign: TAMPA – 5 MILES. "Nick," I softly whispered to myself as I pulled off the highway and onto the exit.

Hopefully, he will be there and will let me stay. God, if you are listening, please let him not be mad at me anymore. I know that I have been such a pain in the ass to him, but I had to figure out most of this on my own, I softly prayed as I pulled onto the road that would lead to Nick's ocean view estate. As I pulled up to the end of the road, I saw the large gate in front of Nick's home and recognized the guard at the gate as his bodyguard, Billy, who recognized me as soon as I pulled up.

"Hey, Sierra, haven't seen you in a while," Billy said to me as I rolled down the window.

"I know. I've been away for too long," I told him.

"Yes, and you look like you are doing better than the last time that I saw you. How are you doing?" Billy asked me.

"I've been better. Is he home?" I said to him changing the subject.

"Yeah, but..." Billy started but I stopped him.

"No excuses, Billy. I need to see him," I told him. Billy didn't say anything else just opened the large gate motioning for me to pull in. As I pulled up the long driveway and around to the back of the house, I saw that the only light on was the one coming from Nick's bedroom, which faced the ocean that was behind the house. I got out and went to the sliding glass door that led to Nick's kitchen. I opened the door with amazement knowing that the door was usually locked. I closed the door behind me, noticing one of Nick's pugs, Mickey, sleeping near the bottom of the steps. Mickey looked up and came over to me as he saw me through the first glimmer of lighting that came through the glass doors.

"Hey, Mick, where's your daddy?" I asked the cream colored pug as I leaned down and petted him as he came over to me licking my bare toes through the pair of sandals that I had put on after getting to Brian's home. I picked the small dog up into my arms carrying him up the steps. As I got to the top step, I set Mickey down, who slowly walked to the double doors at the end of the hall, opening them with a nudge of his nose before walking in. As he opened the door, I could hear the sound of Nick's guitar being played, but as I got closer to the door, I could hear Nick softly singing to himself as he played.

Nick didn't notice that I was in the room until he heard a sniffle from me causing him to open his eyes. As I looked into his eyes, I could see that they were bloodshot from tears. I couldn't tell how long he must have been crying or how long he must have been by himself, but I knew that it must have been for weeks because Nick's face had a week's worth of growth and he looked very pale.

The pleading in those strong, beautiful eyes made me forgot all the rest of the world and focus on just him and me. I slowly walked over to him taking his hands into mine, pulling him off of the chair that he was sitting in. Nick looked at me with pleading, yet questioning eyes as I breathed the one word that he wanted to hear against his lips. "Yes," I told him as I softly pressed my lips against his. His lips began to play against mine in a sweet, yet sexual motion, I could feel one of his arms slowly run down one of my legs as the other wrapped around my back hoisting me up into his arms. Our lips continued to be pressed together as the fluid motion of him doing that motion caused a slight moan to escape the back of my throat. I opened my eyes and gazed into his eyes finding the love and passion there as he slowly laid me down on the bed. The softness of the bed became a new feeling to me; everything in this man's arms became a new feeling for me. I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek as he looked into my soft blue eyes, before slowly leaning forward and brushing his soft, cool lips against mine in another kiss.

He slowly pulled back, breaking our kiss as he gazed into my eyes. A soft, whispered, “I love you,” came from my lips as his hands slipped down my body until they reached my hips. Tears began to form in my eyes as he softly pulled back and said the words that I wanted to hear: "I love you, too." As the tears now streaming down my face fogged my vision, he pulled me closer to him and wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb before our mouths met in another heated, passionate kiss. He slowly and carefully slid his body over mine, as he slid his tongue into my mouth caressing my tongue in long, sensual strokes once again. His soft, strong hands slowly lifted the sweatshirt that I had been wearing over my head before he slowly broke our kiss as he trailed sweet little kisses down my neck and onto my chest. He smiled at me sexily as he slowly set his lips over my bra-covered nipple of my left breast. He softly kissed it before moving over to the right one and doing the same thing. He softly kissed my lips as he took one of his fingers and undid the hooks of my bra, which connected in the front. He slowly pulled my bra off before kissing my bare breasts.

After softly kissing each breast, he slid slowly down my body kissing every inch of it before stopping at my swollen belly softly kissing every inch of the place where my child with another man was sleeping peacefully. I softly laughed until I felt his finger slid down into the pair of maternity pants and into the pair of panties that I had on. I gasped as he slid one of his fingers into my wet center, feeling and see how wet I already was for him. My gasps became moans as he slowly slid another finger in before he began to pull them out and in, in long, sensual strokes. My breathing became ragged as I felt myself coming but he pulled his fingers all the way out before he quickly slid off my shorts and panties with one hand as he licked the other hand off.

He found his way back to my mouth and kissing me passionately letting me taste myself for the first time from his lips as I slid my arms up and around his back. Our tongues started an intimate war as I slid them down his back until I felt the soft silk material of his sweat pants. I slowly slid them off, leaving him in his boxers. The moment where he threw his pants to the side, I could see that he was very much in a state of arousal and he saw my eyes staring at him. He softly smiled to himself before saying, "Don't worry. I will be very gentle. I promise you."

I couldn't speak to him, but I just simply nodded and watched as he lay back down on top of me. As he kissed me once again, he guided my hands to the bottom of his shirt. I followed his motions and in one fluid movement, the sweatshirt that he had been wearing was now on the floor with the rest of my clothes. As he lay back down on top of me, the now naked, soft, cool skin of his body against mine made goose bumps appear all over my body and this brought a soft, sweet laugh from his lips. The soft laughter from his lips became an icebreaker for the whole situation as I reached up and pulled him back down to kiss his now laughing lips.

As he once again lay down on top of me, I slowly broke our kiss and said in a soft, yet sexual voice. "I need you, I want you," I said before lifting my legs around his back sliding them down to the waistband of his boxers. The material slid easily between my toes and I slid them off of him tossing them to the side with my leg. I linked my legs back around his waist as he stopped us for a moment looking into my eyes as if to ask me if I really wanted this. The pleading look of pleasure, pain, and sorrow filling my eyes told him that the both of us needed this moment. "I'll be as gentle as I can," he said before he slowly slid into me. The pain of his entry and the pain of my heart falling apart became one in the same as he stayed that way for a few moments letting me get used to him. He looked into my eyes for a sign to continue, I didn't answer the unspoken question but I softly kissed his soft, sweet lips as he knew my answer. He slowly started to thrust in and out of me in long, full filling strokes.

As he did this, he softly began to kiss my neck again as we became faster and faster. I began to moan deeply and threw my one hand up to the bedpost to hold on for the ride of my life. He kept hitting my sensitive, hot spot as he pulled in and out of me. I could feel my climax coming as my walls tightened around him as his thrusts got deeper and deeper into me. The both of us came together in cries of passion, that he softly muffled by kissing me deeply as I began to say the same three words again as he shot his load deep inside of me.

He softly pressed his damp, strong body against mine, so not to crush me, as we caught our breath. After we found our breath, he softly pulled out of me before rolling onto his back - taking me with him. I was lying with my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his pounding heart as he softly caressed my stomach causing me to drift off to sleep.

**************

The moon reflecting off the beautiful ocean gave the bedroom a slight glow. I slowly turned my head to the side, gazing at the strong figure that was laying beside me. I lifted my hand softly and pushed the soft strand of blond hair off his forehead, which caused him to slowly turn his head and look at me with his beautiful aqua blue eyes. I gazed into his eyes finding the love and passion there as he slowly lifted his hand and stroked my cheek as he looked into my sky blue eyes, before slowly leaning forward and brushing his soft, cool lips against mine.

Nick slowly pulled back and gazed into my eyes. A soft, whispered, “I love you,” came from his lips as his hands slipped down my body until they reached my hips. Nick pulled me closer to him as our mouths met in a passionate kiss. Nick slowly slid his body over mine, as he slid his tongue into my mouth caressing my tongue in long, sensual strokes. Nick slowly broke our kiss as he trailed sweet little kisses down my neck and onto my chest. Nick smiled at me sexily as he slowly set his lips over my nipple on my left breast. He softly kissed it before moving over to the right one and doing the same thing.

After softly kissing each breast, Nick slid his finger slid down to my small panties that I had on. I gasped as Nick slid one of his fingers into my wet center, feeling how wet I was. My gasps became moans as he slowly slid another finger in before he began to pull them out and in using long, sensual strokes. My breathing became ragged as I felt myself coming but Nick pulled his fingers all the way out before he quickly slid off my panties with one hand as he licked the other hand off.

Nick found his way back to my mouth and kissing me passionately letting me taste myself on his lips as I slid my legs up and around his back. Our tongues started an intimate war as I slid my legs down his back until I felt the soft silk material of his boxers. The material slid easily between my toes and I slid them off of him tossing them to the side with my leg. I linked my legs back around his waist as he slowly slid into my wet area. Nick stayed that way for a second letting me get used to him before slowly starting to thrust in and out of me in long, full-filling strokes.

As he did this, he softly began to kiss my neck again as we became faster and faster. I began to moan deeply and threw my one hand up to the bedpost to hold on for the ride as he kept hitting my sensitive, hot spot as he pulled in and out of me. I could feel my climax coming as my walls tightened around him as his thrusts got deeper and deeper into me. The both of us came together in cries of passion, that Nick softly muffled by kissing me deeply as he shot his load deep inside of me.

Nick softly pressed his damp, strong body against mine, so not to crush me or my baby, as we caught our breath. As we did, Nick softly pulled out of me before rolling onto his back - taking me with him. I was laying with my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his pounding heart as Nick softly caressed my back and stomach causing me to drift off to sleep.

**************

I felt a cool ocean breeze hit my face as I opened my eyes to find myself laying alone in bed. I wrapped the soft, cool satin sheet around my body as I climbed out of bed. Hearing the shower running, I made my way toward the bathroom where I saw Nick back leaning against the wall letting the water run over himself. I dropped the sheet onto the floor before sliding into the shower behind him. I slid my arms around his waist as he opened his eyes and he grinned at me.

“Morning, my love,” he said to me as he brushed his wet lips against mine as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Morning,” I said smiling as him softly. Nick turned us around letting the warm water hit my body. I closed my eyes letting myself adjust to the warmth of the water. I opened my eyes and smiled as I felt Nick’s lips brush against my neck.

“I came to help you with those hard to reach places. And then I was thinking that maybe after that you can help me with mine,” I said softly in his ear as I wrapped my arms behind his neck.

“One good deed deserves another,” Nick said as he softly, yet sexily smiled at me before he backed me up against the wall. He placed his hands at my bare hips as he kissed me, our tongues intertwining with another in a passionate kiss. His hands slipped around behind me before pushing me up against the wall so that I was lifted up around his waist. I held onto him tight with my legs as he used his one hand to hold my wrists against the wall as his other traveled down to my swollen stomach to my center. I gasped against his mouth as he slid one of his fingers into me, feeling how wet I was. I began to moan as he slid them in and out of me bringing me closer to the top but stopped as he felt me tighten around him. He pulled them out before I could come, seductively sucking them dry before kissing me with his wet lips, letting me taste myself as his tongue swirled around mine.

“I’m sorry, Si. I can’t wait,” he said against my lips before he slowly entered my wet center. I moaned in pleasure as he pushed himself deep into me. He slowly began to thrust in and out of me causing my back to slid up and down the wall with each thrust. Using my legs, I pulled him closer as he hit my hot spot.

Nick broke our kiss as he yelled out my name when he got hard inside of me and climaxed with me as I yelled his name. He softly rested his head against my shoulder as he released my wrists. I laid my head down next to his and kissed his forehead before he met my lips with his, kissing me passionately as he lifted me up and carried me into our bedroom after turning off the shower.

As we reached his room, he slammed the door shut before carrying me to the bed. He kept kissing me passionately as he laid me back on the bed with him laying between my legs. Leaning on one arm, he looked at me for a moment as he ran his fingers through my hair before letting them travel down my body onto my stomach.

I stared back into his eyes that were burning with as much passion and love as my own. Reaching my hand up, I gently touched his face before pulling him closer to me. The moment our lips touched, we were taken over by love once again. We explored each other’s bodies with kisses and roaming hands leaving no area untouched.

Nick slowly took possession of me slowly as he moved his kisses from my face down to the curve of my neck. He softly dropped kisses onto my breast before slowly taking my swollen bud into his mouth. He began to softly suck on it as he heard my groan of pleasure as a wave of passion moved through my body. He moved to pay attention to the other side before softly making his way down the swollen form of my stomach, causing me to giggle as he ran his tongue around my belly button.

Nick moved further down my body and caused my giggles to become a gasp as he flicked his tongue slowly over my center. I began to moan softly as he slowly slid his tongue in and out of me before he could feel my climax.

“Oh damn,” I said as my whole body shuddered as I climaxed. Nick lapped up my sweet liquid before slowly kissed his way back up my body. When he was close enough, I pulled him up to me so she could taste his lips. I began to moan softly as I slowly sucked his tongue into my mouth, tasting the sweet and saltiness of myself on his tongue. Our tongues began an erotic dance as I felt his tip near my wet center.

I softly wrapped my legs around his waist before I began to moan softly against his lips as he pushed himself slowly into me. He broke our kiss looking into my eyes to see if I was all right. My hips began to rock against his before he pushed himself fully into me but he still didn’t move.

“I love you, Sierra,” Nick mumbled against my lips before I softly replied, “I love you, too.”

With those words from my lips, Nick knew my feelings for him were true. Nick slowly captured my lips with his before he slowly pulled himself out of me and then back into me as he set our pace. My legs lifted higher on his back causing him to go faster and deeper into me folds. Nick felt my body grip onto him as he felt my climax and his own. I came for the third time that night screaming his name as Nick laid his head against my neck screaming my name in his own climax as he shot his load deep inside of me. Nick softly pressed his body against me before slowly rolling to his side as he pulled out of me. He easily pulled me up next to him before softly kissing my forehead as we settled down. Nick helped me lay on my side with a pillow under my large tummy for support. Nick softly wrapped his arms around my belly, protecting my little baby and me. Nick once again whispered “I love you” in my ear as we fell into a peaceful sleep.

As Nick woke up the next morning and rolled over onto his back, he noticed that the spot next to him was empty. He sighed to himself thinking that he had had another dream as he heard a laugh come from downstairs. Nick sat up and leaned down to grab his Journey shirt that he had been wearing the night before but he noticed that it was gone from the floor. After noticing his shirt's disappearance, he looked around the floor noticing a pair of maternity shorts on the floor lying next to his sweat pants. He grabbed his pants throwing them on before going down the steps.

As Nick got to the bottom of the steps, he saw me sitting on his living room floor playing with his pugs wearing his missing Journey shirt and a pair of his boxers. I knew that Nick must have woken up because Mickey ran past the ball that I had been rolling across the floor for him. I turned to see Nick standing at the bottom of the steps wearing only his sweat pants and a sleepy grin on his face, but he was suddenly at my side as I pushed myself off the floor to get up. As he helped me up, my hand ran across his bare chest causing a slight moan to escape his lips before he suppressed the moan as he helped me sit down on the couch.

"Nick, I..." I began, but Nick stopped my words as his hand shot up in a commanding way.

"Sierra, before you say anything, I just want to know one thing. Why? Why are you here?" Nick asked me as he sat down on the coffee table in front of me.

"I couldn't go anywhere else. I had to come here, I had to get away from there and that scene," I told him not truly explaining myself.

"What do you mean that you couldn't go anywhere else? What scene? What happened?" Nick questioned me.

"Brian...Brian..." I started but stopped as I began to cry again.

"Sierra, did Brian do something to you? Did he hurt you? Did he hurt the baby?" Nick asked me.

"No, he didn't hurt me like that," I told him as I watched him get up and move toward the large bay window at the front of his house.

"So, I was just rebound. Another broken promise and you come to me," Nick said.

"No, Nick, it's not like that. Last night, I went out with Howie, Aph, Dawn, and AJ, and when I got back, I found Brian..." I began to confess as Nick stopped me.

"I don't want to hear about your life with him," Nick said to me.

"Nick, I found Brian in bed with Leighanne. I got home and found him in bed with her," I told him as I pushed myself off of the couch before going over to him. I stepped in front of him looking up into his eyes, that were watching the movement of the palm trees in his front yard. "And last night was not rebound. Last night, I gave you something that I thought only one person in this world had. But last night, Nick, I gave you my heart, my mind, my soul, and my love."

After I said those words, Nick looked down at me with the same amount of love that I had for him. Nick leaned down and softly kissed me as the shrill ringing of his phone interrupted our soft, passionate kiss. Nick sighed against my lips as he broke our kiss before walking over to grab the phone.

"Hello," Nick said into the receiver.

"I know she's there. Let me talk to her," Brian's voice asked from the other end.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Nick answered him.

"Nick, stop bullshitting me. I know that Sierra's there. Howie told me that he dropped her off here, last night, but she is not here and she's not at Howie's, Aph's, AJ's, or Kevin's, so she must be with you," Brian told him.

"Fine, Brian, she is here, but she doesn't want to talk to you," Nick said before slamming the phone down.

"He's coming, isn't he?" I said seeing the anger in Nick's face as he looked away from me.

"Yes," Nick answered me in one word before turning to face me, again. "I just need to know one thing, if he comes, are you going to go with him?"

"No, Nick, I'm going to stay here. I don't wanna leave. I don't wanna go back to him," I said to him in an honest voice.

"Good because I don't think that I can lose you, again," Nick said to me as he came over and pulled me into a hug.

***************

I was sitting in the kitchen watching Nick make breakfast as the doorbell rang. Nick turned off the stove and set the pan with pancakes to the side before he turned to look at me as he wiped his hands off on a towel that was over his shoulder.

"Just sit here. I will be right back," Nick said to me before leaving as I nodded to him. I sat there in the kitchen listening to the conversation that began as Nick opened the front door to reveal Brian standing there with the rest of the gang.

***************

Nick finished wiping his hands off on a towel before opening the door to reveal Brian, Kevin, Howie, AJ, Dawn, and Aph standing in front of him. Nick was about to say something, but couldn't say anything as Brian barged into the room with a pissed look on his face.

"Where is she?" Brian demanded as he looked around the room.

"Like I said on the phone, she doesn't want to talk to you," Nick told him.

"And why in the world is that? She seemed really talkative the night before when we made love," Brian told Nick before continuing as he saw the sting in Nick's heart from those words.

"That's right. We made love and she loved..." Brian continued before being stopped as I spoke to him.

"Well, it seemed that I wasn't good enough for you. Because if I was, you wouldn't have gone back to Leighanne," I told him from my spot next to the kitchen door.

"What are you talking about?" Brian questioned me.

"I'm talking about you sleeping with Leighanne. I know you did because I saw you. You might not have heard me come in last night, but I did go to my so-called home and I got the biggest shock of my life. The man that I thought I loved was in bed with another woman, the night after he made love to me. Or should I say used me...Used me for his own pleasure," I told him. "Isn't that correct, Brian?"

"It meant nothing," Brian told me.

"What meant nothing? Her or me?" I asked Brian.

"I don't know," Brian said before turning away from me.

"Well, I guess I can answer that, because Brian, I don't think that I could love you any more after the amount of heart break that you have given me. I know that you gave me something that I will be forever grateful for. All I can say is thank you, Brian. Thank you for giving me the love of two people that I know will love me with all of their hearts," I told him.

"Two people?" Brian questioned.

"That's right, Brian. I love Nick. It took me this long to figure this out, but I truly do love him," I said to Brian.

"Okay. That's all I needed to know," Brian said and with those word I watched as my best friend and father of my baby walked out of my life. For how long, only God knew.

About a week later, I was laying on our bed staring up at the ceiling as I was thinking over the past week. I smiled a little to myself before I softly turned my head to look at the man that was lying beside me. I pushed a soft strand of blond hair off of his forehead and placed a soft kiss in his hair.

My attention turned to my middle, where I felt a soft kick. I placed my hand on my swollen tummy before my soft grin grew larger. I slowly got off the bed carefully, trying not to wake Nick up as I softly walked down the hallway toward the room that Nick (with the help of Aph, Dawn, and the rest of the guys, excluding Brian) had made into a nursery for my son. As I got into the room, I softly went over to the crib that was against the wall before softly rubbing my hand over the soft material of the baby blanket. I ran my hand over a small newborn outfit, wondering again how such a small person could be coming into my life. I was brought out of my daydream as I felt two arms slide around my waist from behind as two hands gently covered my large tummy.

"What are you doing up, baby?" Nick's sleepy voice whispered right into my ear before he softly placed a kiss just below my earlobe.

"Just admiring this stuff," I said placing my hands over top of his.

"Don't worry, baby, everything will be fine," he said to me. I gently turned my head and looked into his aqua blue eyes. I knew my love for this man would never end.

"What are thinking about?" he asked as he turned me in his arms before tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"About how lucky I am," I said to him before he tucked my head under his chin before he re-wrapped his arms around me.

"Not as lucky as me," he murmured into my hair before he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Well, lucky, we better get back to bed because you have to go to the studio, tomorrow," I said to him as he took my hand and lead me to our bedroom.

As we got to the bedroom, Nick helped me lay on my side with a pillow under my large tummy for support. Nick softly wrapped his arms around my belly, protecting my little baby and me. Nick softly whispered “I love you” in my ear as we fell into a peaceful sleep.

***************

The next afternoon, I was laying on the couch watching "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" with Aphrodesia as I felt the first pain of a contraction. At first, I thought it was a cramp in my back from sitting too long, but then I felt the pain move from my back to the front.

"Ooh, that wasn't good," I said a little louder than I thought.

"What? What's wrong?" Aph asked me as she paused the movie looking over at me.

"I think that I just had a contraction," I told her rubbing my stomach.

"Just now," she asked before continuing as I nodded. "How long? Did they just start?"

"No, I had a pain in my back all day, but I didn't think that it was contractions," I said to her before feeling the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I got up to go to the bathroom, but holding it didn't work, because the sudden rush of water ran down my leg. "Shoot."

"What?" Aph asked as she got to my side.

"My water broke," I told her.

"Shit. That's not good," Aph said as she helped me walk to the door before a contraction came on.

"Oww oww oww," I said as the pain grabbed my stomach.

"Here, sis. Sit down. I'm going to go and call Nick," Aph told me as she helped me sit down on one of the chairs closer to the front door.

***************

Nick sat in front of the microphone singing one of the new songs that would be on his first solo album, NOW OR NEVER, as Howie, who had come to help him with the album, knocked on the window pointing to his cell phone.

"What's going on, D?" Nick asked as he came over to the door and opened the door.

"Aph's on the phone. She said that Si's gone into labor," Howie told him before handing the phone to the younger man as he grabbed the phone from him.

"Aph, where is she?" Nick asked.

Right here, came the answer from the other end before a short pause.

Hello, Si's voice said to him.

"Baby, you okay? Are you sure that this is the one and not another false alarm?" Nick asked her.

No, this is the real one. My water bro –, Sierra's voice told him before the phone suddenly fell.

"SI? SIERRA, PICK UP THE PHONE," Nick yelled into the phone before it went dead on him. "Shit!"

"What happened?" Howie questioned him.

"She dropped the phone. I need to get there. I need to get to her," Nick said as tears began to fall down his cheeks with the thought of her being in so much pain and him not being there to help her.

"Calm down, Nick. We will get there. Aph told me that she's taking her to Orlando General Hospital," Howie said as he grabbed Nick's car keys that were next to their bags before putting his arms around his little buddy. "Come on, bud. Let's go."

Howie lead the young man out of the room as he silently prayed. God, please let her be okay - for her sake and Nick's sake.

****************

The Emergency Room of Orlando General Hospital was quiet until the sound of an ambulance could be heard coming to the door to the Emergency Room entrance. The back of the ambulance opened up as a swarm of doctors and nurses surrounded the door.

"What do we have?" the on-call doctor asked the paramedic as they pulled the stretcher out of the back of the ambulance.

"Female - age 22. She went into labor about 20 minutes ago, but the contractions are coming fast and hard. There is about a 3 minute window between each," the paramedic told him.

"Okay," the doctor said before turning to the patient on the stretcher. "Ma'am, can you tell me your name?"

"Sierra...Sierra McCarthy," I breathed as another contraction hit.

"I'm sorry, but you can't follow us," the nurse told Aph.

"I'm her sister," Aph told the nurse.

"You need to come with me and check her in," the nurse told her.

"Okay," Aph said before grabbing my hand again, since the nurse had made her let go. "Girl, I'll be right back. Just hang in there."

"Nick...call Nick," I breathed to her.

"I tried, but he's not -" Aph said before hearing Nick's voice in the waiting room behind her.

"Just tell me where the fuck she is..."

*************

The smell of the Emergency Room caused Nick to groan in displeasure before immediately going to the window, where a young nurse was sitting.

"Hello, may I...Oh my god, you're Nick Carter," the nurse said.

"I'm looking for Sierra McCarthy, she was being taken here," Nick told her.

"I'm sorry, but there is no one in the computer by that name," the nurse told him a few minutes later.

"She has to be here. Just tell me where the fuck she is," Nick told her before hearing Howie speak.

"Aph, where is she?" Howie asked his fiancée.

"She is..." Aph told him before the doctors brought Si out of the ER and was rolling her toward the elevator.

*************

"NICK!" I said as I saw him as the doctor pushed me toward the elevator to take me up to the Maternity Ward.

"Si," Nick says as he goes past Howie and Aph to my side as he takes my hand. "I'm sorry, baby. I should have stayed."

"No, it's o..." I attempted to say but the pain grabbed me once again.

***************

"Oh my god, Nick help me. Make it stop, it hurts too much," I cried as the contraction gripped my body in pain. I had been in intense labor for the last hour.

"Okay, Sierra, you're now 10 cm. We're gonna get you ready to push, now," the on-call OB said to me as she smiled.

"Oh, crap, I can't do this, it hurts too much," I moaned to Nick.

"Come on, Sierra. You're doing so well and we've gotten this far. Just a little more and it will be all over," Nick said as he lifted me up and slid into the bed behind me, rubbing my back and neck, then pulling me back against him as he massaged my stomach. When he felt it tighten again as another contraction hit, he rubbed my back again. Somehow it relaxed me, and the pain lessened.

"Okay, Sierra, on the next contraction, I want you to try and get three good pushes into it. Okay," the doctor said as she put my feet in the stirrups.

"Ohhhhh," I moaned as I felt the next contraction coming.

"Okay, Sierra. Push girl. That's good. I can feel the baby moving down. Come on, girl, push a little harder. Just a little more. And relax," she said as I relaxed against Nick.

The next contraction took me by shock that I had to scream as I felt my baby move further and further down. "Ahhhh," I screamed as I gripped Nick's hand.

"Okay, Sierra, push. Come on, girl. The head is coming," she said as I pushed as hard as I could.

"Owwww, this hurts like crap," I screamed as the head moved further down as I pushed.

"Okay, Sierra, I'm gonna help the baby get it's head out, so you don't tear. Just don't push for a few seconds," she said to me.

"Oh god, that hurts. Please just hurry. Owwww," I screamed as the forceful pain of the contraction was accompanied by a serve burning sensation.

"Okay, Sierra, I want you to give me a little push and this will be the worst part. Deep breath and push, girl. That's it," she said to me. "Just a little more."

"Ahhhhh," I screamed in pain as I felt my baby's head slipped free.

"Okay, Sierra, just one more little push and we should have the first baby of the night," she said to me.

"I can't. I'm too tired," I said as I leaned back against Nick.

"Baby, listen to me. You just have to push one more time and then we will have a beautiful little baby," he said to me. Nick's soothing words and voice helped me find my strength.

"Okay, girl. This is it. Push," the doctor told me as I held onto Nick's hand and gave one good, hard push before I felt the baby slip free. The baby immediately proved that it was very upset with its new surroundings by letting out a loud, shrill scream of fury. I fell against my pillow, tired, as Nick got up to see the baby.

"Sierra, it's a boy. He's a big bouncy boy," Nick said to me. I softly started to cry as I watched as the doctor let Nick cut the baby's cord before a nurse took him over to be cleaned and weighed as the doctor got the afterbirth and cleaned me up.

"8 pounds, 2 ounces," the nurse called out as she weighed my little boy.

"Did you hear that, sweetie? He's a bigger than they thought," Nick called to me before he took my baby into his arms. "Come on, buddy. We're gonna go and meet your mommy."

"Oh my gosh," I whispered softly as Nick laid my little boy into my arms. "He's so beautiful. I love you, Nick."

"I love you, too," he said before softly kissing me before we just watched my little boy. As I had predicted, my little boy had Brian's curly dirty blond hair and my skin color. But I was the most amazed as he opened his little eyes to show his beautiful aqua blue eyes.

"Oh my gosh, look," I said to him.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Nick asked me softly. "So, what are we gonna name him?"

"Devon. Devon Thomas," I told him, as Nick looked at me strange. "Yes, I know. It's Brian's favorite name, but I love the name, too."

"Okay, baby girl," Nick said to me, not really knowing his true feelings about that.

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