“Okay, okay.” Pulling on A.J., Brian forced him to release his hold on me. “Seriously guys, I’m not in the mood for this.” I flipped over on my back as A.J. took a long drag off of his cigarette blowing it right in my face.
“I’m gonna puke.” I moaned waving the putrid smelling smoke out of my face.
“Good.” Shoving himself off of the bed A.J. ground his cigarette out in an ashtray on the nightstand before returning to the bed.
“I can’t believe you smoke.” I said in a disgusted voice.
“Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” He mocked in a whiny high-pitched voice.
“How are you feeling?” Turning my attention away from A.J. I directed the question to Brian who sat pale and tired looking before me.
“I’m okay.” He answered looking down at his hands. “I guess.”
“That son of a bitch had you stabbed Brian.” I began, holding up a hand when A.J. tried to interrupt. “Shut up Juan, I’m not talking to you.”
“I pretty much figured it was Devin’s work.” Brian answered, his voice seeming far away. “The guy who stabbed me knew all of our moves, and only one of Devin’s people could know that kind of information.”
“Do you hear yourself, do you hear what you’re saying?” I could feel my face growing hot with anger. “You’re acting like it’s no big deal that somebody stabbed you.” Poking at his arm his face was awash in the moonlight that streamed through a part in the curtains.
“He could have killed you?” I continued my body tensing at the sound of the word. “He could have stabbed you in the heart instead of the arm?”
“It’s part of the deal Nick.”
“What deal?” I was yelling now and I didn’t care.
“Do you really think he can tell you that?” A.J. bumped me from behind as Brian rubbed at his temples.
“That’s it, I want out!” Turning I shoved A.J. away from me.
“You were never in Nick!” A.J. screamed back. “You just wanted to be in so that you could feel like you belonged. You’ll never belong, you’ll never be like us.” He was in my face now his breath hot on my flesh.
“Yeah well good. I’d rather be dead then be like you.” Placing both hands on his chest I shoved him again watching him stumble backwards off of the bed and onto the floor, before I stood up and headed for the door.
“Look, you promised you wouldn’t say anything.” Brian spoke softly following on my heels. “You have to keep your promise.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep my freaking promise.” I shouted over my shoulder. “And I also promise to toss a rose on both of your caskets before they lower you into the ground.”
* * *
I had done all I could do. I had gone from ignorant youth to willing accomplice and back in just the span of a few days and I was tired.
Tired of trying to wrap my brain around something that so out of control.
Tired of trying to figure out if this was all some wicked joke or if my friends had really gone to the dark side?
Tired from lack of sleep and threats being whispered in my ear from unseen evils.
Rapping on Kevin and Howie’s door I waited patiently for it to open before pushing past Kevin without explanation and heading to the bedroom.
I could hear him following behind me, questions lingering in the air as he sighed, resigning himself to the fact that his room was now my room.
Flipping back the covers on Howie’s bed I climbed in curling up in a ball as my puppy made his way up to the headboard snuggling as close to my body as he could, his sweet puppy breath blowing in my face.
“I did my best Dirk.” I whispered pulling his snout in close for a kiss. “The rest is up to them.”
“Hey buddy, are you okay?” I felt the bed move as Kevin sat down beside me, dropping a hand on top of my head.
“I had a bad dream.” I mumbled from beneath the covers.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I dreamed that Brian and A.J. were in trouble and nobody could help them. Not even you Kev.”
“That’s crazy Nick.” He laughed softly. “You know I can always help any of you out of anything. That’s what I’m here for.”
“I don’t like Germany, I want to go home.” I replied as Howie stirred in the bed beside me dropping back into a sound sleep.
“You just have to hang on for two more days Nick and then we’re on our way home. Can you do that, can you hang on for two more days?”
Two more days.
In two days we would be winging it back across the ocean to Florida.
Back to the blue sky and the beach.
Back to our brightly colored bedrooms and predictable families.
Back to noogies, food fights and sitting around harmonizing until the sun went down.
Back to real life and away from the unthinkable.
“Yeah Kev.” I said smiling to myself as I pulled Dirk in closer to a hug. “In two days we’ll be home and everything will be back to normal.”