Chapter 19......... IN PROGRESS!!
I had been walking for what seemed like hours when I finally decided to go back home. I couldn't believe I had yelled at Kim like that, but she had really hurt my feelings. How dare she question my feelings. She wasn't me, so she had no idea what I was feeling! Maybe it was too soon, and I should have kept my mouth shut, but still, she had no reason to doubt me. I stood at the front door for a few minutes, contemplating what I was going to say when I went inside. I wasn't completely sure I could face Kim again, not yet. I walked in and hung my jacket on the hook by the door. Dad was sitting in the livingroom with Mack and Zoe.
"What's the matter Zac? You ok?" Zoe asked me.
"I'm fine baby, I'm gonna go upstairs." I said and patted her little head. She looked so much like Tay, it was scary.
"I love you Zaccy." She smiled at me and plopped back down on the couch next to dad.
"Love you too Zo." I walked up the stairs to my room, hoping that Kim wasn't in there. I knew I couldn't look at her, not after I had yelled at her. I hoped that she was somewhere else. I opened the door a crack and peeked in. She wasn't in there. I flung the door open the rest of the way and walked in. I closed the door behind me and sat down in my computer chair.
What the hell was I going to do? Kim thought I was jumping the gun in telling her I loved her, and she didn't feel the same way about me. I had gone over and over this a million times already and came up empty handed. What was there to do? I could talk to Tay or Ike, but they'd tell me I had been rude to yell at her, and I didn't feel that that was true. I was just telling her how I felt, and she threw it back at me as if none of it mattered to her. And then to top it all off, she had the guts to tell me that I didn't really love her. That was the part that really pissed me off. I put my head into my hands, tugging my hair as hard as I could. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't even think at all! I wanted to smash my head off of my desk, maybe knock some sense into myself. Things weren't going the way I wanted them to. God, life really sucks sometimes! I heard voices coming from the room next to mine, it was the guest room...... and it sounded like Isaac and Kim. I didn't want to spy on them, but I couldn't help myself. I stuck my ear against the wall, I couldn't make out what they were saying. Damn it. I walked out to the hallway, leaving my door open incase I had to make a run for it. I pushed my ear against the door carefully, and listened.
"Kim, don't let Zac push you away. He's not gonna stay angry at you forever." Isaac was saying to her. He was so sure of everything!
"I didn't mean to upset him, I just don't think that we're ready to express ourselves to each other in the way he thinks he's ready for. He couldn't possibly be in love with me." How could she say that? She had no idea what I was feeling!
"Maybe he does love you, have you given that any thought? He could very well be in love with you, maybe you're just too blind to see that. I bet that you have feelings for him that you're not telling him."
"Isaac, don't. I'm not ready for this! I care about Zac very much, I do! I..... I maybe do have more feelings for him, but I just can't say it. Not yet." She was crying heavily now, and I could hear her sniffle.
"You do love him then?" I held my breath, waiting for the answer to come.
"What the hell are you doing?" I heard behind me.
"What? Oh, nothing." I said, turning to Taylor. He had amazingly bad timing!
"Are you spying on Kim? You sick little pervert!" He laughed at me.
"Would you shut up? I'm trying to listen to what she's saying to Ike."
"She's in there with Ike?" Taylor asked walking up to the door.
"Yeah, he just asked her if she is in love with me." I whispered and pushed my ear back against the door.
"Oooh." Taylor pushed his ear against the door next to me. We both listened intently, waiting to hear anything.
"See, that wasn't so bad. Calm down, you'll be fine! Things will work out, and hopefully you'll be able to talk to Zac." Damn it, I missed it! She wasn't crying anymore, and Isaac was trying to calm her down.
"Thank you Isaac, you're such a wonderful friend." She said quietly.
"No problem, but just remember, my services aren't cheap." He laughed. I rolled my eyes at Taylor and made a gagging noise. My brother was an idiot!
"Yeah, what do I owe you?"
"Hmm, a hug would be ok." He said. Oh that bastard! He was moving in on my woman!
I didn't hear anything else, we just stood there with our ears against the door, waiting for anything else to be said. I felt the handle rattle on the door, I tried to get away but I got caught up in Taylors scrawny legs! I tripped and fell on top of my brother, landing on the floor with a loud 'thud'. I looked up and saw Isaac standing there with Kim with a huge grin plastered on his face. I looked down at Taylor, I was on top of him, his legs wrapped around my own. I was so embarrassed, it looked as if...... you know!
"Funny seeing you guys here." Isaac laughed and walked to his room.
"Hi." Taylor smiled at Kim.
"Hello." She laughed.
"We were just..... umm, trying to get downstairs, and we uh, fell."
Taylor was the WORST liar to ever live. He couldn't tell a lie to save his life!
"Sorry, we'll be going now." I said, getting up off of Taylor. I was suprised that I didn't break something on him, he was half my size, maybe less. I tried to walk past Kim, but she grabbed my arm. Taylor ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I glanced up at her quickly.
"Do you mind? I wanna go to my room." I whispered trying to pull my arm away.
"We have to talk, now." She said pulling me into the room and closing the door.
I stood there in the middle of the room, folding my arms across my chest and looking intently at her.
"Well, say what you have to say."
"Don't be a bastard Zac, I did nothing wrong. Now if you'll kindly sit down, we'll talk." I just stared at her. She called me a bastard!
I sat down in the chair quietly, not looking back up at her. I was afraid I'd start laughing. Hearing her swear was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life.
"Now, I'm sorry I made you angry earlier, but you had no right to question why I said what I said. I told you, I do care about you. But you shouldn't have been a jerk about it. I really am sorry, and maybe I haven't told you everything that you need to hear."
I looked up at her finally. She was looking down at the floor, digging her toe into the carpet.
"I don't know what else to say Zac, but please know that I am sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you what you wanted so much to hear, but I am not sure that I can say it to you. I feel very strongly for you, but I just can't say what you want me to."
"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to go off like that. I'm an asshole. I didn't mean to be like that. It's just, you have no right to tell me what I do or do not feel for you! When I say something, I mean it. So don't you ever question me again about how I feel for you." I wasn't going to go down like that!
"You're right, I shouldn't have questioned you, but I find it hard to believe that all of this is happening. I mean, I am leaving tomorrow. It's going to be so hard, and I don't want you to regret any of this. And don't hate me, but I just get afraid of things, and all of this is happening so fast. I don't question your feelings for me now, because......."
"Because what?" I questioned.
"Because...... I might love you." She whispered. I barely heard her.
"You what?" I asked, putting my hand to my ear.
"Might love you." She said through gritted teeth.
"Ahh, might love me? Moi? Well honey, MIGHT isn't cutting it." I knew I was being a smart ass, but I really didn't care! She loved me after all, she loved me!
"OK! I love you, are you happy? I love you Zac. But I don't know what else to do....... I've never felt like this before!" She was crying again.
"Don't cry, we'll work it out. Trust me, we will. I love you too." I stood up and walked over to her. I grabbed her and pulled her to me. She felt so good against me.
"Say it again." I whispered into her ear softly.
"I love you Zac." She whispered back.
"I love you too Kim." I smiled brightly. Things were good again. Now I didn't want her to leave!
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