Messy Marvin enters the scene.
" One quarter ponder, cheese & co, One Caesar salad." The girl at the McDonalds counter took in the orders, as we said what we wanted. She drew in a sharp breath before looking at me, " Are you sure that you want a Happy Meal?" A laughter was toying at her lips and I felt a bit insulted. Just as I was about to answer that rather stupid question Bone jumped in.
" Yup Nicky loves small stuff and you better throw in a Barbie doll too so he has something besides himself to play with in the bus." There was laughter in the restaurant and I felt my ears go all red from embarrassment.
Grabbing the Happy Meal bag, Barbie on the front, I made myself over to an empty seat. With a sigh I sat down on the hard plastic chair. My joints ached in the same way as they do when you are coming down with something. That I forbid as the schedule is way too hectic to skip out of anything. As I open my bag I discover a small Barbie doll in a short purple skirt. Instantly I pick up the toy and kid around with it. Bone who has sat down next to me is as interested as me and soon we are checking if the Barbie has on some panties. Laughing our asses off, making nasty jokes. I can see all the adults looking at me like I was some kind of overgrown kid and Kevin is giving me the eye. Yet I ignore him since a good laugh is what I need right now.
" Hey Kaos, you better look down that skirt twice since that is all the girl anatomy that you're going to get to see. At least if you continue in this pace." AJ is laughing and I can feel my ears going red. Correction my whole face is turning a crimson color of red. Howie who is the color expert in the group would call it a shade between shocking pink and blood red. He is always so accurate when it comes to stuff like this and I bet he even asks what kind of colors his boxers comes in. Just so he get to choose the ones that looks best on his trimmed body. Speaking about boxers. All of the guys wear boxers, except for me who wears briefs.
" Plastic Barbara," Brian smiles, referring to my precious Barbie who I am doing some pretty obscene scenes with. Kevin sees this and he walks over to me. " Stop it Nick. You'll embarrass us!" Picky, picky. Kevin is so goody two shoes that it makes me sick. He never does anything wrong, at least not in public. Off stage is another matter.
With a sigh I turn to open my cheeseburger, studying it closely. Picking off the cucumber who I think looks disgusting. Besides that is a little too much vegetable for my taste. As I am performing a dissection of the food at hand Howie comes to sit down our table too. The health freak that he is he has ordered and Caesar salad and I look at the dish in pure disgust.
" You're going to eat THAT?" I say pointing at the mountain of vegetables that is piling up on his tray. He nods and set a fork into it. I scrunch my nose. How can anyone in their right mind eat something that is so unappetizing? Thinking twice I realize that I might not be the one to talk since I am sitting here with a half-dissected hamburger and some cold fries. But at least I got the Barbie!
Kevin comes to sit beside me and as he sets down his tray he asks Brian how he is doing. B'rok who been spending the better part rubbing his temples so hard that I am sure that he has his skin peeling by now, shrugs.
" Better. The light doesn't hurt my eyes so much anymore now we I don't have to look at the glare off photographers bald head." We laugh a bit and AJ ads, " Yeah I know what you were talking about. If I had to look at that pink shirt one more time I would have blown chunks.Pink ones!"
" What??" Howie says with surprise, " I thought that the pink shirt looked classy." There should be an Howie warning; Creepy taste, be aware. Hazardous for health, especially when exhaling beverages.
Classy??! The shirt looked anything but that. More likely nerdy. Oh Howie you and your expressions.
That label wouldn't have been to bad since I am sipping on my coke when he is uttering those words. The effect is like a gastric display. If you have ever laughed while drinking carbonated soda you know what I am talking about. I laugh so hard that coke is spewing from my mouth, on my white hooded T-shirt and down on the table. Coke is also sputtering from my nose and I don't know if I am about to choke or laugh. A terrible feeling with a nasty outcome.
" Niiiiiccckkk!!!" I wonder how many times the guys have been uttering my name in that special tone today? Must be hundreds.
" Ewww..nasty!" Yup, you could say that Howie. But not as nasty as you saying that pink looked classy on the guy. It makes me shiver even more!
" Stop that." I totally agree, it's just that my body has voted against me, as always.
" Look where you're spewing." I can't I'm way to busy not coughing my brains out since this stuff is going in the wrong direction.
" You're such a baby," Kevin comments as he hands me a pile of his brand white tissues that he has stacked up INCASE that he might spill a drop of ketchup or drop a French fry on the floor. Thankfully I accept the napkins, its just that I am coughing too hard to do anything about the situation and Brian slaps me in my back so I can get my breath back. It doesn't work since something cold and hard is stuck down my throat. No matter how hard I try the thing won't budge and I am starting to get desperate.
" An icecube is stuck," I pant as I desperately try to cough it up and this has Kevin acting. Without a twitch of an eye he grabs me from behind, sticks his arms around my chest and thrusts his fist, Hard. The ice cube, not big to the world, is flying out like a rocket. As do some of the French fries that I just devoured. The Hemlich Maneuver is not something that you kid about.
" Nick can you be any grosser?" AJ asks as he moves aside. Howie is gagging and Brian is also looking a bit pale. Me however I am not in a state to speak as I am regaining from the medical experiment.
" My dad taught me that," Kevin explains proudly, and the guys aren't looking too impressed. " Me and dad were once at a restaurant and a guy started to choke on a hot dog." Kevin is engrossed in the story and isn't even noticing that all of the boys, me included, look like they wanna be out of the restaurant fast. " And then he did the Heimlich and the hot dog came flying through the air." He was demonstrating how the hot dog traveled through the air in the speed of light.
I most confess that I was only listening with half an ear since I was busy coughing and trying to get my breath back. Besides Kevin's grip hadn't been to gentle and I was rubbing the sore spot that he had created on my belly.
" You feel better Frack?" Brian asks as I am slowly turning back to my natural color, white, after blending into a mix between blue and green for a while.
I nod. That was a close call. Yet I haven't decided to leave the earth life, at least not for a while.
" You better clean up," Howie says as he hands me several more napkins, trying to wipe off the worst off me. A bit irritated I grab the napkins. I am not some kind of toddler that needs someone taking care of me and I start to clean off the worst of stains from my T-shirt. It doesn't go away and my nickname Messy Marvin has really done it this time. It looks like I have fell out of a garbage truck, which is how bad it is. The worst part is that everybody is looking at me and I have no T-shirt underneath so I have to bear with the humiliation that this little event created.
Things aren't getting any better as I hear one small girl in the table next to me saying pretty loud in English, " Look mommy. Is this what you mean when you're saying that daddy is acting like such a baby?" The mother in the table next to us is blushing as much as I am and if I could dig a hole we would both disappear to the center of the earth. There is loud laugher in the restaurant.
My mind is drifting off as I hear a female's voice, " What in the world has happened here?" Looking up I stare into Donnas hard eyes and reflexive I swallow hard.
" Nick had a fit," Howie explains with a sigh as if that said everything. I glare at D', feeling a bit crossed that he isn't telling the truth and is making me look bad. Ok the bad look I have achieved. But at least he is making me look worse. Worse than bad.
Donna shakes her head, " Oh no Nicky. I better help you to the restroom so you get to look a bit more descent." She is flashing with her teeth and it makes me even more nauseous then what Kevin's Heimlich grip have achieved.
" No, its Ok. I can do it on my own." That is good Nick, try to get out of this situation, I encourage myself. Going with Donna to a restroom is NOT something that I wanna do. Too many bad memories.
" Don't be such a child," she smiles as she reaches out for my hand. I shrug away and this action doesn't go unnoticed from Brian's hawk eyes. " Nick, Donna just wanna help you," he says, frowning as he can probably see the fright that is evident in my eyes. There is not a chance that I'm going with snake woman to the restroom. God knows what she can do. My mind jiggles away as she is saying once more, this time a bit more sternly that she is going to help me out.
Help me out? My ass. Without thinking I say, " No. I am going back to the buss instead." The guys look at me, weird. Brian has that questioning looks as he always gets when he suspects that something is wrong, but I deny it instead of letting him into my secrets.
I raise myself from my seat. " I am going back to pick up an new shirt," Kevin looks at me, " You're not eating anything more?" I shake my head negative; " No you can have it if you want." There are no volunteers and I don't blame them. The space around my seat is really messy and I can be happy that we are at the cleanest restaurant in the world. Have you ever noticed that as soon as someone drops a French fry or an ice cube there is always personal there wiping it up with a smile on their face? Also the restroom is so squeaky clean that you can eat your food in here. In fact its more healthier than eating at another restaurant.
With that I leave the restaurant, feeling four pairs of concerned eyes staring behind me, and one pair burning a hole in my back.
