Hard To Get
Items used:
-one working pocket watch
-one tube mint lipgloss (or chapstick)
-one (or one pack of) orange post-it notes
-three long-stemmed roses
-four peacock feathers
-mardi gras beads
-reference to an obscure New Year's Eve tradition (ie, Italians always wear red underwear. no, really! we do! it's good luck! or something.)
Author's Note/Disclaimers: Story mine, people not mine. Story written for Lau’s New Year Challenge, first challenge I’ve ever written for, go me.
Rating: I'm (Lau) giving it a PG-13 for terrifying Darren-nudity. *g*
Hard to Get
Daniel groggily groped his way to the door. Godammit, who was pounding on his door at three in the morning? He tripped over his coffee table, knocking over some coasters and a chapstick. He growled when his hand finally closed around the doorknob, and yanked it open to get an armful of Darren, sobbing…or something. It seemed like he was sobbing, or wailing, blubbering…he was making a bunch of pathetic noises, that was for sure. “Um, Darren? Is-uh, is something the matter?”
Darren threw his arms around Daniel’s neck and cried, “Oh, it was horrible, Jonesy! I told my mum that I was gay, and she got mad and disowned me! Kiss me and make it better!”
Daniel recoiled from Darren, trying to shove him away. “Darren? Seriously, let go of me. Get off me!” Further attempts at untangling himself from the leather-clad singer proved futile.
“But don’t you care about me?” Darren asked dramatically, adding a sniff for effect.
“Look, nice try, but you told your mum that you’re gay two years ago, and she didn’t have a problem with it. I’m not going to kiss you.”
Defeated, Darren finally let go. Daniel scooted backwards and out of reach quickly. Darren pouted.
“It’s three in the morning, Daz. Can I just go back to bed?”
Darren nodded. “And I don’t suppose I can join you?”
“No.” Daniel decided firmly, already halfway back to his bedroom. Darren sighed.
“It was a good idea and all, crying and getting me to comfort you. But you’re usually…gentler when you cry. You don’t, um, clutch me like that. And you needed a better story. Lock the door on you way out, ‘kay?” With that, Daniel disappeared into his room.
Darren cursed to himself while he waited for the elevator. Another botched attempt. Dammit! He was beginning to wonder if getting Daniel to be his lover was worth the effort. Then, he thought about Daniel’s laugh and Daniel’s skin and Daniel’s hands and Daniel’s…well, never mind, Daniel was worth it.
***
He could still remember when he’d first confessed his feelings to Daniel. Of course he could, duh. It was just a week ago, at Ben’s Christmas party. They were all at Ben’s house, making merry or whatever. At one point, Daniel had walked out onto the balcony, surrounded by his usual cloud of quiet, golden, aloof perfection. How the hell does he always pull that off? He had leaned out over the railing just enough for his shirt to ride up a bit, revealing a strip of tanned skin. Candles, strategically placed everywhere by Karl and Angie, cast their flickering light on him, and he had literally *glowed*. Darren had ogled him liberally, letting out a long, low “Daaaaa~aaamn” under his breath. Lee had given him a knowing smirk, but didn’t say anything. Darren sipped casually on his champagne. The party conversation had gone on smoothly until someone mentioned the fact that the gang hadn’t planned a New Year’s party yet. Darren suggested coming back to Ben’s place. His suggestion was met with an air of assent from almost everyone. All but Ben, actually. “Why not?” Lee had asked, challengingly.
Ben knew he’d have to think of a really good excuse, because he could still remember that one time when he had to get the house exterminated of termites, and they had a party there anyway. They had made a strict schedule for the exterminators, telling them which rooms to do at what time so that the flow of the party wasn’t interrupted.
After a moment’s thought, Ben had said that he had to invite all his relatives for a Carey family tradition. Apparently, everyone was to have raunchy and incestuous sex with everyone else to ensure prosperity in the coming year. Darren had quickly excused himself when Ben started going into graphic details.
He stepped out onto the balcony and immediately felt like he was in the presence of some holy power, Daniel was that impressive. They had started chatting about random things, when suddenly Darren blurted “Daniel, I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Daniel had turned, blushing, and mumbled something unintelligible. He flashed Darren his token shy smile, then walked inside. When Darren tried to talk to him later, he’d just shaken his head, smiled a little, and left the party.
Darren, confused, had decided to ask Lee for advice. He hauled Lee onto the balcony and announced that he’d told Daniel. “Congratulations!” Lee had gushed, about to hug him.
“But he didn’t say he loved me back.”
Lee frowned. “Aww, I’m so sorry, Darren,” he reached out, ready to hug again.
“Erm, see, that’s the problem. He didn’t reject me either. And now I’m a bit at a loss. What the hell do I do?”
Lee had laughed. “Oh, I should have figured that our Danny-boy would be like this. Ever the enigma. Did he show any positive signs at all?”
“He smiled at me a lot, but then he shook his head and left the party.”
Lee had scratched his head thoughtfully before answering. “Well, I’m not entirely sure, but I do believe that our boy is playing hard to get. He wants you to woo him, Darren.”
***
And that had settled it. With Lee’s words of wisdom in mind, Darren thought up an assortment of ways to win Darren’s affections. Stepping off the elevator, he took out the pocket watch that Daniel had given him for his birthday last year and took a look at the time. Ouch. Three eighteen a.m. Maybe he shouldn’t have bothered Daniel quite so early. He couldn’t seem to get this wooing thing right! He thought back to his first attempt and winced.
***
It had seemed like a really good idea when he first thought of it. It was sexy and romantic, and Daniel would so fall for him afterwards.
Darren had snuck into Daniel’s rooms at five in the morning, holding four peacock feathers in his hand. He’d found Daniel sleeping on his stomach without a shirt on, totally accommodating his plan. He’d pressed a soft kiss to each golden shoulder blade, then proceeded to trail the feathers along the perfect back, spelling out “I love you” over and over again. Darren knew that it felt really nice, very relaxing, so he was a tad surprised when Daniel woke up screaming. It all made sense, though, when he heard the words he was screaming.
“AAAHHHHH!!! DARREN, I’m ALLERGIC to feathers!”
Oops. Okay, so that plan didn’t fly too well. The trip to the hospital was unpleasant, with Daniel giving him the death glare every inch of the way. And no, Daniel didn’t say yes when he asked him out. Dang.
***
Darren had to admit that it was his fault. It wasn’t like Daniel hadn’t told him about his allergies before, and even the five in the morning thing was a mistake. Daniel wasn’t usually a morning person anyhow, and Daniel breaking out in hives was most definitely not a morning person.
But he figured Daniel would’ve cut him some slack. After all, Darren was a man. Most men aren’t very good at the whole “romance” deal. At least he tried, right? Sure, Daniel ended up being hospitalized, but it’s the thought that counts. Darren sighed in frustration and mounted his motorbike, thinking about the day after the peacock feather incident and yet another failed attempt.
***
He reckoned that getting creative with courtship just wasn’t his forte, so Darren had decided to fall back on the tried and true old-fashioned methods. Long-stemmed roses were the key. Darren ordered three for Daniel, because the romance website he’d ordered them from explained that they stood for “the past, present, and your future together.” That had sounded good. Too bad no one had warned him about the dangers of online shopping and why it was a good idea to get things fresh instead.
He’d been happily checking his e-mail, pleased that soon he would have Daniel like putty in his hands. He had clicked open a new one from Danny, confident that it would be a proclamation of love. Instead, it was the most embarrassing e-mail he had ever gotten in his life.
“Dear Darren,
I can’t thank you enough for the roses. Nothing spells romance like three limp and dead roses with really sharp thorns.
Sincerely, Daniel
P.S.- Try again, dipwad.”
***
Darren groaned, accelerating just a bit to clear the memory from his head. Daniel has no appreciation. He’s really trying his best here…it’s not very inspiring to be shot down over and over again. True, dead roses aren’t exactly flattering, but how the hell was he supposed to know they’d be dead? They weren’t dead in that little picture on the website! Did Daniel really have to be so heartless as to send him a sarcastic e-mail to belittle him?
Although, that day was not his most embarrassing. Oh no, not by a loooooooong shot. He could clearly remember every unpleasant detail about last Thursday.
***
After the deceased roses thing, Darren decided to be a bit less romantic. Daniel’s a man too, he could handle a more blatant message. Something that would say “I wanna get it on with you” instead of “I would like to build a relationship with you”. With that thought, Darren planned his new shot at winning Daniel over.
The idea was simple, really. Millions of teenies all over the world thought that Darren had a hot body, and millions of teenies all over the world can’t all be wrong. He had decided to utilize that hot body as a way to convince Daniel to go out with him. He’d called Daniel with a cryptic message about needing to see him right away at his apartment, then quickly stripped himself completely naked. He had then taken a basket of beads, like those Mardi Gras beads you throw around, and spread them in a colourful trail from the front door to the bathroom. He drew a bath, lit some scented candles, and waited.
About twenty minutes later, the bathroom door opened, and the relaxing atmosphere created by the vanilla candles was effectively shattered by a high-pitched scream.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! For God’s sake, Darren, put some clothes on!” Leonie yelled, covering her eyes.
Leonie? “Um, Leonie? You’re not Daniel.” Admittedly, that hadn’t been the sharpest thing he could have said, but hey, he had been surprised too.
“No shit, Hayes. Get some clothes on.”
Darren complied, because Leonie had said that in her ‘do it or die’ tone of voice, and he really really wanted to have Daniel for at least a little bit before he died. “Why are you here, Leonie? Dan’s supposed to be the one to find me.”
“I know. He called me up and asked if I could come find out what you want. He’s a little scared the freaky little plans your brain can come up with. And you know, after seeing more of you than I ever want to, I’m a little scared too.”
“Christ Leonie, you know that was meant for him. He was supposed to come and see my incredibly attractive physique, and give in to temptation.”
Leonie had made a face at the implications of that but graced him with an answer anyway. “You are so dense, Darren. That would never have worked in a million years. This is Daniel we’re talking about. He wants all the love and commitment before the sex.”
Darren snorted. “He *has* all the love and commitment. He knows it and I know it. He’s just being coy and teasing me. He wants me to put on a show.”
“Well it’s sure as hell working.”
***
Darren parked his bike as a thought struck him. The hard to get thing really was working. Maybe it would work for him too. A grin spread across his face as he hit on a truly fantastic idea, guaranteed to get him Daniel this time.
***
Daniel came home from Ben’s New Year party to an orange sticky note on his door. He pulled it off while he was still reading it, a look of panic flitting across his face. He ran for the parkade.
He itched to break some speed limits, but it was New Year’s Eve, and the streets were so packed that he had to be content with crawling along at less than 25km/h. He was not content. He read and reread the little post-it note he still held in a death-grip, refusing to believe his eyes.
“Dear Danny,
I’m tired of this game. I’m only giving you until next year to accept my love, because sometimes when a person is too hard to get, you just give up.
Love,
Darren”
He spared a glance the stereo clock. Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Twelve forty-nine. Eleven minutes to midnight. And he was barely half-way to Darren’s place. Daniel slumped over his steering wheel and cried.
***
Darren watched the ball drop to a loud and happy chorus of “ONE!!!” on his TV. Daniel was not there. When ‘Auld Lang Syne’ finished playing at 12:02, Daniel was not there. At 12:09, though, there was a soft little dejected knock at Darren’s door. He opened it to find a soft little dejected Daniel, standing with his head hung low.
“I’m sorry I was so hard to get, Darren. I really did appreciate all the trouble you went to. It was sweet, and I didn’t deserve it. I should have jumped at the opportunity to have you in my arms. God knows why you would even like me, but now I’ve lost the chance and---” he broke off with a soft sniffle.
“Aw, Jonesy, c’mere.” Darren wrapped him up in his arms and kissed him softly. “Don’t cry, babe, please don’t cry. The new year’s just begun; we don’t wanna start it by crying, do we?”
Daniel sighed. “That’s the problem. The new year has begun.” He held up the small orange note.
Darren took it and ripped it up. “Screw the note. It was just a ploy to get my man. Besides, I could never give up on you.”
Daniel broke into his other token smile, the dazzling grin that left you partly blind and panting for more. Darren leaned down and kissed him again, open-mouthed and hot, reaching behind him to close the door.
-End
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