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Trumpet Jokes


How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could've done it.

What's the difference between a trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?
I don't know either.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

Why can't gorillas play trumpet?
Gorillas are too sensitive.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!

What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.

What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.

How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.

How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
The doorbell shrikes!

What do trumpet players use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"?
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?
Gifted.

What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louis Armstrong would have done it.

How do you get a trumpet player to play fff?
Write mp on the part.

What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?
The terrorist has sympathizers.

Three famous trumpet players are up in an airplane. One of them says, "I'll throw out a 100 dollar bill and make someone very happy." The one next to him says, "I'll throw out two 50 dollar bills, and make two people very happy." The other one said, "I'll throw five 20's out the door, and make five people happy." The pilot, who was their conductor, said, "Why don't all three jump, and make the whole band very happy?"

What is the range of a trumpet player?
It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him?

How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind- they can fake the changes.

How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
Take away his instrument.

How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
Seven- if you lay them out correctly.

How many second trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None they can't reach that high.

How many trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:What's a lightbulb?????

A great jazz trumpet player dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he finds out that heaven has a jazz band and rehearsal is about to begin. When he arrives at the rehearsal, he finds out that it is the biggest jazz band he had ever seen. There were over twenty trumpet players, including all the greats, like Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, Louis Armstrong, and many others. The band sounds incredible, the best he had ever heard, and all of the players were great, with one exception. The lead player was horrible! The lead player had no high chops, couldn't play a decent swing groove, and could not improvise. Yet this horrible player was on lead, really looked like he was getting into the songs, and looked incredibly smug and pleased with himself after every song. Incredulous, he asked the player next to him, "Who is that guy? He's horrible!" The other player replied, "Oh, that's just God. He only likes to think that he's Wynton Marsalis."

Q: How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one: all he has to do is hold his horn above his head the the world revolves around him.

What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.

whats the range of a solo trumpet?
about 40 yards if its a "super-light" model.

What's the differance between a trumpet player and God?
God knows he's not a trumpet player.

How do you tell a trumpet player's knocking at your door?
The knock speeds up.

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