1

Atomic flash blast in your face knock out full blown american rock and roll shake down mach 4 super sonic balistic missles super charged turbo duo proccessor - thats hella fast- giga ram rom pshycho rhythmic screeching nail scratching piercing the skin of your ear drum so that it bleeds profusely staining your virgin ignorance and still you have no clue of the genius of Teen Cool.

2

I do not know what the hell they did with this record but it really smells. I tried to flush it in the toilet and bury it in my back yard where my dog Brisket plays tag, I even tried to wash it in the dishwasher ten times, mind you, and it still reeks. My friend even tried to bleach it with clorox and it still stank. I tell you man, this is the SHIT so you better buy yourself a copy so you too will know the rainbowfull stench of Teen Cool.

3

This record spins faster than any other vinyl out there. You might just watch it cause it may just cut you into little pieces and then bury you in your own backyard and eat you for snacks during the drought. I mean it man, once you hear the future of rock and roll you might as well give yourself to the wolves, cause there's no turning back once you have enlightened by the grace of TEEN COOL.