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The Tourbus Interview with Phil and Joe

January, 2000

This transcription was edited and is not in it's entirety. The full interviews can be heard on The Tourbus.

Phil's Interview:

Host: Just to start the interview on an odd note, okay, something slightly different, I want you to tell us and tell the listeners something about each member of the band that you don't think anyone knows...not to put you on the spot, but just to be a little wacky...something about each member of the band...for instance, maybe Joe likes Rocky Road ice cream, or maybe Rick has the biggest penis in the band (laughs).

Phil: (Laughing) He does! You know, you've had a look?

Host: Oh God, I wouldn't share that!

Phil: He certainly does actually and not too many people know that but he definately does.

Host: Oh really? Yeah Rick!

Phil: We're always joking you know, one arm but three legs, all that thing.

Host: He could enter a three-legged race on his own?

Phil: Big time. He puts everyone to shame in the shower!

Host: Now give us one about you..something a little private, maybe a little personal.

Phil: Uh...uh...uh...it's all been pretty documented. Nothing really spectacular happening, um (Phil really struggling to think!).

Host: Well, I think Rick having the biggest penis is probably a good enough one...

Phil: Yeah, that was a good one.

Host: Ticket sales are now souring with the females.

Phil: The after show thing, yeah.

Host: Do you still have the naked boobies?

Phil: Yeah we do. That disappeared as well in the 90's, but they're back with a vengeance...they're not shy anymore.

Host: Well you spend five grand on something you gotta show it off. Matt (other host) just spent eight grand on a penis lengthening procedure that he's very pround of, My Swedish Penis Pump.

Phil: Really? Perhaps that's what Rick's got hidden backstage!

Host: Phil, we gotta end it here because we have to do both of you guys. Where is Joe? You guys are hanging out in separate places then?

Phil: Different rooms. People always think we sleep in the same room (laughing). People think we sleep in a big bed together.

Host: (Laughing) You all touch toes, you're all sleeping side by side in a spoon position...got your Pyromania jammies on!

Phil: Yeah, we've got that!

Host: Thank you so much Phil. It's been a blast man.


Joe's Interview:

Host: We were talking with Phil just moments ago and what we decided to do is to pose the same question sort of to both of you and compare answers.

Joe: We're actually traveling on two different buses.

Host: Is it because you can't stand each other?

Joe: No it's because we have the Attack Bus and the Wuss Bus. The Attack Bus is the smoking, drinking, meat eating bus and the Wuss Bus is the nonsmoking, vegetarian, nondrinking bus.

Host: The Wuss Bus (laughing). Whose on the Wuss Bus?

Joe: The Wuss Bus is Phil and Rick and when his family's out and anyone else who has babies.

Host: And you have like Muzak playing in the background?

Joe: They go for the vegetarian pizza, nonalcoholic beer and jazz. We go for the booze, cigarrettes or Prodigy.

Host: That sounds like my bus.

Host: We asked Phil an odd question, but he answered it so we'll see if you give the same answer. Who has the biggest penis in the band there?

Joe: Rick Allen!

Host: OH! There you go! Wow he really must have something going on down there!

Joe: We call him Trypod.

Host: Do you all just bow to him when he walks through the room with that?

Joe: Yeah, one arm three legs.

Host: No hesitation in his answer whatsoever. That's good to know though.

Joe: You don't shower next to him unless you want an inferiority complex.

Host: All the groupies across Europe and America can't be wrong. No wonder why he's always smiling, right?

Joe: He could make Tommy Lee blush, that boy.

Host: Wow, maybe it has something to do with drummers.

Joe: I think it has a lot to do with drummers.

Host: Must have something in the drummer blood. You need that extra drum stick to get that, uh, you know, extra big.

Joe: When your born with one that big you just know you're going to be a drummer. Maybe all the brains are in the wrong head.