Me: Hey, Guys. Thanks for coming! How's it going?
Isaac: Absolutely wonderful, thank you.
Zac: Um, good.
Taylor: Can we talk about the music now?
M: Absolutely, how do you feel the new music differs from This Time Around?
Z: It rocks.
M: This Time Around rocked, too. Can you be more specific?
Z: Look, dude, you can't descibe good music, ya just gotta feel it *pounds on chest* right here, man.
M: I'm female.
T: Me, too!
Z & I: Tay, shut up, you're a dude!
T: I'm a dude.
*Long uncomfortable pause.*
T: Can we talk about the music now?
M: Uh, Are you still calling it Underneath?
I: Yeah, it's named after one of the songs on the album.
T: The song is called Underneath.
M: Thanks, Taylor. When do y'all think it will be released?
I: Well, we have some finalizations to make, so maybe...*Ike starts counting his fingers*
M: Another three years?
I: More or less.*Grins triumphantly*
M: What about the tour?
Z: Oh my God, it's gonna rock. Like, I've got this sweet guitar solo and-
M: Wait, I thought you played drums?
Z: We all get to play the guitar on some songs, isn't that totally rad?
M: Zac, you do realize, dear, that you're from Oklahoma, not California?
Z: Dude, I can surf, so I can talk any freakin' way that I want to, brah.
M: I know some surfers who would disagree with that.
T: Can we please talk abou the music now?
M: Geez, chill out. I'm trying to talk about the music.... what's your favorite song from the album?
T: What album?
I: Underneath, you dim wit.
T: Oh, that is so not cool! I'm tellin' mom! MOM!!! *Taylor leaves*
I: *Shouting* PANSY!
Z: Dude, take a chill pill.
M: Zac, if you say 'dude' one more time...
Z: Dude, what's wrong with the word 'dude'?
M &I: ZAC!!!!!
Diana: Boys, love each other. And Ike, don't say that awful 'P' word!
I: What awful 'P' word? I didn't say piss!
D: ISAAC! Watch your mouth!
I: Okay, geez whatever. You'd think I wasn't 22 years old, or anything.
D: I don't care how old you are. As long as you live in my house, you follow my rules! And utilizing positive, clean, Christian language is a rule.
T: Haha! Ike got in trouble, Ike got in trouble! Who's the pansy now?
D: Taylor Hanson! I do declare!
T: Hey, I can say whatever I want to. I don't live in your house.
D: That's right, you live in my shed. The rules count there too!
Zac: Dude.
D & I & T & M: ZAC!
Zac: Geez, sorry! Nobody have a cow!
T: Can we talk about the music now.
M: No, Taylor, we can't talk about the freakin' music any freakin' more! ARGH!!!! Let's talk about... about your marriage! How's married life treating you?
T: It kind of sucks, all my European girlfriends are kind of upset about my marriage.
I: Taylor, can't you ever use your brain?
M: European girlfriends?
Z: Dude, we're not at liberty to talk about that with out an attorny present.
M: Seriously.
Z: This Brah has never been more totally serious about anything in his life.
M: Oh, Alrighty then.
I: Oh my God! I do the best Ace Ventura Impression!!
M: That's nice.
I: ALRIGHTY... THEN!
M: You sounded like Jim Carrey there.
I: That's okay, though, because Jim Carrey plays Ace Ventura...
M: Ahhhh....
***LONG PAUSE***
M: So, Taylor, how's Ezra?
T: Who's Ezra?
M: You're son?
T: OH!!! Pookie-ookie Bear? It's soooooo cute. He's got ten toes and a bald head. And he like the gap and rides in cars. He sat up yesterday, but then he fell over... yeah he fell over...
M: Oh, no! Is he okay?
T: Of course, Pookie-ookie Bear only fell back onto some pillows.
M: How cute.
T: Yeah, he takes after me... being cute and all.
Z: Dude, gag me with a freaking spoon.
I: You can say that again.
Z: Dude, gag me with a freaking spoon.
I: Lord, help us all.
M: Yeah, um I agree with that. So, um, yeah... It's funny I had so many questions before the interview started, but I honestly don't think I can stay here any longer and still leave this place sane.
Z: Dude... is it over already?
M: Yeah, thanks for taking the time to let me interview. It's been extremely... insightful.
I: No, problem. *shakes hand with me.*
Z: Catch ya later, brah!
T: Can we talk about the music now?
After I left the interview, I decided to burn all my Hanson CD's and Hanson Memorbilia. I mean, I USED to think they were normal. Poor kids, poor, poor kids.