How to Have Fun With a Hanson
So, you've won a chance to spend some time with Hanson? Wow! Congratulations! What ar you going to do? What will you talk about? Don't know? I didn't think so... and I don't blame you! I've compiled a list especially for you! Here's how you can have fun with a Hanson!
-Ask them what MMMBop means. When they tell you, argue with them and tell them that that's not what the dictionary says.
-Ask them what they miss about highschool.
-Tell them that their new haircuts make them look like girls and that they should grow their hair back out.
-Ask Isaac why he's trying to steal the mayor of the Munchkin City's look.
-Explain to them how the 'If Only' video inspired you to only eat roasted twinkies. Suggest that next time they roast Twinkies, they add ketchup for extra spice.
-Ask them to moon you, so you can take a picture and make millions on E-Bay.
-Congratulate Taylor on baby Ezra and then ask if he's still a virgin.
-Ask Taylor to explain the reasoning in Natalie wearing a long sleeved wedding dress in June in Georgia. (I'm from Georgia... Never wear sleeves in Spring, Summer, or Fall. Short sleeves are okay for Winter, though.)
-Ask Zac what he's thinking while's playing the drums. And, didn't he love it when you threw your bra on stage and he couldn't get it off the stick in the middle of his drum solo.
-Explain to them that your life long dream has been to sing MMMBop with them. When they obliged, start to sing the chorus like this : "MMMBop Bop Bop MMMBop Bop Bop MMMBop Yeah, Yeah MMMBop Bop Bop MMMBop Ba Bop."
-Ask them if they know how to play poker. If they say no, beg to teach them so that you can play strip poker.
-Bring some hair, from a Barbie or something and tell them it theirs "from that time you ripped it out at a mall."
-Ask them to autograph it.
-Show them the boxers you had framed "that you stole from their bedroom while they were overseas."
-Ask them who they belonged to.
-Ask Isaac to tell you about his most memorable moment on tour. In the middle of his story, tell him to shut up your trying to listen to Taylor breathe and he's breaking your concentration.
-Tell Zac Shamu died. All eighty of them.
-Ask them what kind of shampoo they use. And then call them liars. Tiger Beat said they used Pantene Pro-V.
-Ask them what they would do in a world with no hypothetical questions.
-Tell them about your nightly ritual. "I take a shower, brush my teeth, put on my jammies and then kiss all my Hanson posters good night."
-Demonstrate this and when you get to the kissing your poster part, ask them if you can kiss them instead since you've seemed to forgotten the posters.
-Tell them that Wickett is a stupid name for a dog.
-Call Isaac Wicket for the rest of the time you're there.
-Then go to a concert with a sign that says, "I love Wicket!" with a picture of Isaac on it.
-When Isaac lunges at you, duck, so he accidentally attacks the 11 year old girl whose screaming in your ear.
-Start telling them what you thought would happen when you met them, "I would walk into the room, and all the noise would cease. You'd all stare at me and your jaws would drop to the floor. An you'd fight over me and I'd say 'Stop! You can share me!' and you say 'OKAY' and then...."
-Ask Zac to have a staring contest with you. When he blinks first say 'Wow! That's the first time I've ever beat you at a staring contest! What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something?'
-Ask them why they buy all their clothes at Wal-mart. They can't be poor, what with all the memorabilia you've bought.
-When they tell you they don't but all their clothes at Wal-mart, get upset and demand to know exactly what is wrong with Wal-mart.
-Yell at Isaac because he made Puff Daddy change his name. "If it weren't for you and that stupid puff broccoli!"
-Write the word "Lucy" above one boob, and "Madeline" above the other. Tell them you want them to meet 'the girls' and then flash 'em.
-Ask them if they wear boxers or briefs, and then insist on checking to make sure they aren't lying.
-Ask them if they really are brothers... because they don't look anything alike.
-Make them explain 'A Song to Sing' line for line.
-Steal Zac's pants and play 'Hot and Cold' until he finds them.
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