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Title: Daniel's Office

Author: Debi C


Author Website: Gen:


Rating: G. one jalapeno, my light saber is fuchia.

Pairing: Jack's thoughts in the hall

Category: Slashy Gen, Friendship, POV, Angst.

Date: May 3, 2003

Status: Complete

Season/Spoilers: Season 6. Full Circle

Series: NO! please!

Archive: The Cartouche, Incoming Wormhole, TheBoy. Anyone else please ask.

Synopsis: Jack wanders into 'that' part of the SGC complex. Fits between Full Circle and Fallen

Notes: I'm just waiting for season 7....this was a drabble that got loose and became a plot bunny.

Warnings: Major Character Ascension discussed. Not a Fixit. Some Language. Intense situations. Hankey warning.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of The SCI FI Channel, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I do not own the characters and indeed am only playing with them for a little while. Jack and Daniel belong to each other. I am not making any money from this and I'm still paying for everything I own so there's very little point in suing me. No copyright infringement whatsoever is intended. The story is for entertainment purposes only. At least I hope it's entertaining. The original characters, situations and story are mine. Please check with me first if you want to archive or link to this story.

Daniel's Office

I pass by the office and unconsciously glance in. Then, for some reason, I stop. It looks different; the personality of its recent occupant has forever changed its appearance in my eyes. Okay, maybe it's a little neater than before. Things have been moved around, the light is a little brighter than previously. Higher wattage bulbs or something. For better reading I'm sure. Daniel had a desk lamp on his table for reading. The rest of the room was kinda dim. Too much light wasn't good for the artifacts, he said. That bright light would actually fade the inscriptions. Some of the artifacts are shuffled around, relocated; some of the more personal items are at my house. The wedding cup, his Abydonian belongings. They didn't belong to the SGC. Now, they belong with me...for safekeeping.

There are some books missing too. I don't know where they've gone to and I don't want to ask. Maybe Nyan has them. Nyan basically ignores Jonas. He hasn't forgiven him his role in Daniel's uh, disappearance. But then Daniel Nyan's sponsor, his mentor and his teacher. I wonder, has Nyan seen him? They were friends after all.

I saw him. I talked to him. He looked…good, hair a little messy, but healthy. But who really knows. Can glowy people look healthy? Did he want me to think he looked healthy or was it an unconscious reflection of his state of being. First, in the elevator, he was in his cream colored sweater. Then on the planet, he was wearing Abydonian robes that pretty much covered him. I guess he'd been trying to appear normal to his family. Both me and them. God, it was good to see him, even if I had to bitch a bit about his not coming back to visit once in a while.

But typical Daniel, he was so focused that all he could think of was his mission for Abydos. And…I understand, it is a fault that we share. The only time I saw him waiver was when Skaara uh, ascended. I'm know he cared for his brother-in-law but he was more concerned that glowy gal was here…that she was watching him, waiting for him to screw up.

Yep, that set him back okay. He was worried, so I knew that he was already pushing the envelope with her, probably cause of the thing he did for me. I don't think he risked anything for Teal'c...or did he? I mean, he would have I'm sure. Just he didn't have to actually do anything, I don't think. Or maybe he did and we just didn't realize it.

And Carter was a little pissed. She didn't show it but she was. "You both saw Daniel?" Why not me? She didn't say it...but you could see the hurt in her eyes. It was palpable. Why you, and not me? Well, my only answer to that is 'cause you weren't stupid enough to get into those predicaments'...or at least not by yourself. Danny has a lot of faith in my taking care of the team...just not myself. And Teal'c, well, considering it was Braytac...Teal'c was choiceless.

When did Jonas get fish? And why? Daniel always had fish. Stress relief, he said, gave him something to come home to. I know these aren't Daniel's fish. I have them. What's left of them anyway. Some of them have spite of all my efforts. I even had a maid come in and take care of the stupid things when I was gone. But I'd come home and somebody'd be floating. Like they couldn't live without their buddy Daniel. I know the feeling.

And coffee mugs? When did Jonas start drinking that much coffee that he has to have so many coffee mugs? Daniel always seemed to have a cup in his hand. Carter said once that Daniel told her he didn't like to sleep cause he would dream. She told me that he would drink coffee to stay awake and finally he'd just sleep cause he had to. Course, that was early, when he had just gotten back to the SGC and Sha'uri's loss was still an open wound. Later on, he'd sleep 'cause he had to. But, then he'd dream. Coupla times, when he'd stay over, I'd have to wake him up from the nightmares. Like a kid, he'd be fighting and making noises to get away from it, them, her. I'd wake him up and he'd look up at me with hollow eyes, so defenseless against his own subconscious.

His eyes weren't hollow when he said he was going to face Anubis. He wasn't worried about the confrontation he was going to have. He was mad. And that is one guy I never want mad at me. All that intellect, all that emotion, all that passion, that's my Daniel...never do anything half way...always give 110%, never count the cost. That was just the way he was, he is. No half measures, nope, not him. When he loves, you know it, when he hates, you know it, and when he's gone, God do you ever know it.

Where are you Danny? I told you to do something...and you left with all that determination in your face and all that fire in your eyes. I know you went directly to confront Anubis. What the hell happened? Did you kill him? Did the other Goa'ulds kill him? Did Oma kill him? Did the Other Ascendeds get involved? Did you win? Did you lose? Are you really dead now? Did I make you do something that caused this...or did I just give you permission? Oh, God! Is this my fault?

"Colonel O'Neill?"

I turn around and there's Jonas, holding a damn cup of coffee and some notebooks. i see some of them are Daniel's. I can see the handwriting on the spine.

"Colonel, can I help you?"

"No," I say, "no, there's nothing. I was just passing by on my way someone." Do something, go somewhere else, be someone else, avoid you entirely, I don't dislike you, I just don't want to be around you right now. Please go away...or let me...

"Would you like a cup of coffee? I've just made some fresh."

"No," I manage to say. "No, I'd better be going."

"Colonel," he looks a little nervous. "I'm sure he's okay."

"No...he's not...okay." I reply.

"How do you know?"

I don't know how to answer that at first, then I realize what had been bothering me. "He would have said goodbye." I say softly. "Daniel would have let us know he was all right. He didn't." I shake my head. "He's...not all right. There's something wrong."

"Begging your pardon, Colonel...but you can't know that."

I look at the young man in front of me. "Yes, I can." I turn to go so that he can't see the burning dampness in my eyes. I can. I know. Call it intuition, call it ESP, or call it my Daniel-sense. He's not okay. Where are you Daniel? Where are you?

"Good night, Colonel."

"Good night, Jonas."