Several years ago I remember being asked the question: “Dude, like what happened to all the dragons and unicorns and Eskimos and stuff?” This thought puzzled me, and I have always looked back and laughed, scoffing at the young man’s foolishness at posing such a question. But now, I see that there is an answer to that question. Man happened. Puberty happened. Why should we be forced to give up our unicorns? The Hippies never did, and neither should we. This is why you should all embrace your inner Hippy. There’s no denying that we all have one; our parents were hippies, so it’s in our genes. The Hippy lifestyle is a fulfilling way of life. The inner-Hippy bubbles to the surface of a person in many different incarnations, and our Hippy-mongering speech will help bring out yours, too.
Being a Hippy solves everything, and here’s how: The major events in the world over the past couple of years have all dealt with America’s war on terrorism, which is a result of country, religious, and class conflicts among various institutions. Each institution has its own method of control, and feels the need to defend itself when threatened by even imaginary “evildoers.” This animalistic behavior results in a continuation of violence and unnecessary conflict. The Way of the Hippy transcends these petty differences, by promoting love and tolerance. In Hippy language, this means accepting others as they are, giving them the freedom to express themselves and not judging people based solely on appearances. The Hippy movement is symbolic of a signpost on the road to freedom. Freedom to do what you want and follow the flow of life allows for utmost personal growth… and mind expansion. So free your mind, and the rest will follow.
Everyone has an inner Hippy. In our case, the inner Hippy manifests itself in the form of senior-itis, and I’ll explain why. In normal society, the average person is only permitted one to two weeks a year of personal freedom. The remaining fifty-odd weeks are spent endlessly working. Hippies toss aside this unforgiving nine-to-five lifestyle. For this reason, the Hippy is ridiculed, but the programmed people that point their carpal-tunneled fingers are only jealous of the freedom that Hippies possess. Our high school careers have been nothing but trial and tribulation, and we have had to pull everything from ourselves to make it though. Now that we are almost through, we have the working-man’s life to look forward to, and all of a sudden, high school doesn’t seem so important. Senior-itis is a relief from this stress, and that is why so many students obtain it throughout their senior year.
Like senior-itis, hidden Hippy in everyone might just be synonymous to a mid-life crisis or burnout. Yet it many cases it is suppressed, beaten down by The Man. Yes, you are the man. You have a death-hold on your inner-Hippy. We all have senior-itis. High school was the ultimate psychedelic experience. Senior-itis is merely the afterglow of such an experience, and you should bathe in its calm, peaceful euphoria. Release your inner-Hippy by accepting and embracing your senior-itis as the astral plane and setting yourself free.
Hippies always look happy. Don’t you want to be happy? Follow in the footsteps of Jack Kerouac and other beatniks who believed that the essence in life is to follow your desires and experience all life has to offer. Robert Frost once said “I took the road less traveled by. It made all the difference.” Make a difference.
Another important reason to consider embracing your inner-Hippy: Lots of sex. And we don’t mean to step on religious beliefs of abstinence, it’s just that as a hippy you can finally physically express the love that you have for the human form. Love comes free in the mind of the Hippy, with no worries about the drama that comes with relationships. As a Hippy, you CAN get away with making out with anybody, anytime, without being labeled as a slut or a man-whore. Technically, you can embrace the fact that you are a “playa.” The secret is in respect. If you show respect for every person you come across, you too will be respected, regardless of your “extra curricular activities.”
C- Take Sonj and I, for example. You all show respect for us as serious students, at least most of you do, and we send it right back atcha.
S- But we have no problem with grabbing any guy…
C- UNDER 25…
S- Who happens to be in a class with us…
C- Like, say, AP English…
S- And just having a good time.
And we don’t have to spend the rest of the weekend curled up in a ball on the floor wondering “oh, will he call me? Should I call him? What’s he saying to his friends?” The neo-hippy simply doesn’t have time to worry about these things, and their lack of drama only earns them more respect from their classmates.
Have you ever noticed that Hippies aren’t fat? This observation is reason alone to be a hippy. Many aspects of hippy lifestyle have been assimilated into mainstream culture, such as natural foods, herbal remedies, and ecological stewardship. Eastern traditions and New World concepts continue to win converts. The hippy lifestyle is also evident on college campuses around America. Take a trip to Flagstaff and see for yourself. You can also give your children really psychedelic names, like Azura Suncloud or Clover Deva.
We can thank Hippies for making life healthier. No preservatives, additives, dyes or even packaging. Just food. Just clothes. No labels. How can we Kingmanites do this?? Plant a garden. Take the time to cook food for yourself and your family, it will be much healthier and everyone will stop to appreciate the time and care that you put into it. Don’t buy everything from Wal-Mart, when you buy from a company that huge the money doesn’t even go anywhere. Nowhere where it can do any good, anyway. Instead, buy your clothes from the Salvation Army or St. Vincent’s. You get clothes for yourself and the money goes straight to clothes for others. Not a bad deal at all.
George Bush is not a hippy. He is an idiot- like a rock, only dumber. Hippies are like flowers: soft and gentle, warm and yielding. And not dumb. The neo-hippy is not the annoying pseudo-intellectual that our parents knew (or were) in college, but a bright, well-informed citizen that forms new opinions about issues. As a hippy, you will be forced to think out the issues because you will be constantly surrounded by other hippies hungry for a conversation. You will be speaking to people of so many different backgrounds that all your ideals will be consistently challenged. And THAT is what will make you a stronger, wiser person: meeting opposing ideas and possibly qualifying or even abandoning your own, instead of holding fast to narrow-minded superstitions and not even listening to the world around you.
The neo-hippy lifestyle is also a heck of a lot cheaper than conventional living. My hard-earned money can be much better spent on a trip to Amsterdam than a trip to the salon. For girls, the money saved on cosmetics alone is astronomical. I probably shower half as much as any other girl in here, and yet people still talk to me (contrary to what my mother believes). And because of it, my hair is healthier, my skin is healthier, I give less money to the Wal-Mart, and I conserve water and energy. I can also sleep in an extra hour in the mornings. Beat that.
But the main draw of being a hippy is that you don’t have to BE anything. Being a hippy doesn’t mean wearing 10 pounds of beads and carrying 10 pounds of marijuana, it simply means being free. There are no labels to be stuck on you, because everyone has their unique brand of hippy. All it requires is an open mind and an empty bank account, and we think that everyone in here qualifies.