Title: Indiana Jackson 

Author: Debi C 

Feedback: dcole6@satx.rr.com  

Rating: NC 17 cause it's slash but only 2 jalapenos due to description. 

Pairing: Jack/Daniel 

Category: Challenge. Humor. Small plot. 

Date:16 June 2002 

Status: finished  

Archive: Alpha Gate. Area 52. Anyone else please ask. 

Synopsis: A 'Slave' Sale at the SGC. Lot # 13: Dr. Daniel Jackson, Archeologist, Linguist, Babe. 

Notes: Loosely based on one of Leah's cartoons. 

Warnings: Foul language. Slash. Naive Daniel. Whiney Jack. 

Indiana Jackson by Debi C

"He is so clueless, so fucking clueless." I stalk down the hallway to the office of one Doctor Daniel Alexander Jackson, PhD squared, innocent afloat in a cruel galaxy, naivety embodied and yes, love of my life. "Damn it to hell." I enter the doorway and slam the door behind me. "Daniel!"

He looks up at me in confusion. I recognize the expression. Lips pursed, brows knit, eyes studying me for some indication of what's gone wrong...this time. "What's up Jack?" He asks me innocently.

"Daniel, did you or did you not volunteer for the Slave auction that Fraiser and Carter are honchoing?"

"Well, yes I did. It 's for charity. What's wrong with that?"

Clueless, I tell you...totally clueless. "Do you have any idea what you volunteered for?"

"Well, to help with the auction." He continued on with gullibility. "You know carry things, show things, you know like that."

"No, Daniel." I tried to calm down. "You volunteered to be 'in' the auction. To be sold as a slave to some...one for the period of twenty-four hours."

"Oh," Ah ha, he gets it, he finally gets it. But he shrugs. "Oh well, it might be...fun."

"Fun? Are you nutzo? Do you have any idea what those women have in store for you?"

"Uh, well... I guess not. I thought..."

"No Danny. You didn't think. It's Friday Night...that's all day Saturday...our Saturday...the day we were going to spend together at the lake."

"Sorry, Jack. I guess we'll have to postpone it." He looked at me for a moment, then turned back to his pot that he was working on.

"Postpone it? Dan-nee!" I know, I whined, so sue me. We'd been planning this weekend for three weeks. "Daniel, we can't postpone it. It's my birthday this weekend. And you leave on Monday with SG-11. Are you trying to avoid me?"

Daniel puts the vessel back down on the worktable, slides off his stool and takes the two steps to me. "No Jack, I guess I didn't think about it when I volunteered and you know General Hammond asked me to go with SG-11 because Bill was wounded their last time out. They need an Anthropologist but I'm the closest thing we've got right now." He wraps his arms around me in a hug meant to assuage 'his' Colonel's unhappiness. "I'll be back in three days max. Then we'll have the next weekend to ourselves."

"No. Then we'll be on our next mission." Okay, I was pouting. So sue me! Damn it, we don't get these weekends very often.

He looked at me mischievously. "So, you buy me at the sale. It shouldn't cost too much."

"Are you nutzo?" Now, it's bad...I'm repeating myself. "Do you have a clue how much you're gonna go for?"

"It's for a good cause."

"Then you should have written them a check! My luck Paul-fucking-Davis will be there and run the cost up."

"Why would he do that?"

I told you...totally clueless. "Because he's got the hots for you. He wants you Danny. He wants you bad and this will give him the perfect opportunity to get you. And I can't bid on you."

"Why not?" All innocence and blue eyes.

"One, I'm the Vice-Commander of this facility and I can't. I'd intimidate the crowd. Two, it would be entirely too obvious why I'd want to buy you. We'd be outed for sure. Three, I'm not sure I can afford you. I'm hearing talk of syndicates out there."

"Syndicates?" Did I say the boy was clueless?

Friday came around in due time. Carter and Fraiser grabbed Danny and the three of them disappeared into the locker room to 'get him ready' for the sale. Sheesh! I'd told Carter I held her personally responsible for Daniel. She smiled and waived at me as she and the medical mighty mite kidnapped my Archeologist. Then that night arrived.

The sale was held in the Gate Room. George and I were watching the proceeding from the upper level control observation deck. Fraiser was doing the Auctioneer thing from the podium. The first twelve had gone through the 'sale process'. Then she started her spiel for lucky number thirteen.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Our next victim is Lot number 13: Doctor Daniel Jackson, Archeologist, Linguist and Babe. He boasts three Ph.D.s, two M.S.s and a B.S. or two. A member of SG-1 and the man voted favorite patient in the infirmary. He's noted for 'speaking in tongues' and being the man to figure out how to open the Stargate thus guaranteeing us gainful employment for the next century or so."

Sam then pushed my Archeologist out on to the runway. Yea, the gals had out done themselves. An old dusty felt fedora was on his head pulled back and his light brown hair framed his face. Somewhere Sam had found a pair of jeans that were about two sizes too small and worn to a cotton softness like nothing but old denim will. They outlined Daniel's ass and assets to perfection (he was obviously going commando and was under some stress by the look of the involuntary bulge in evidence). Add to that a chambray work shirt, again worn and again too small, stretched across his shoulders and bicep and opened to the waist revealing the filled out chest and flat belly. Over his shoulder was a (where the hell did they get that) leather plaited bullwhip.

But the piece de resistance was he was barefoot. Now, I've heard the old wives tales about men's hands and fingers being good indicators of other body parts size. But for all of you equally clueless as my lover, it's all in the feet. And my Danny has beautiful feet; large, slender well formed feet with long prehensile toes. And the things he can do with those toes are abso-fucking-lutely amazing.

Well, needless to say, I could only watch and shake my head. Even if I could bid, I wouldn't have stood a chance against this bunch. They were like the Roman crowds of old in the coliseum, waiting to eat him alive. The bidding started. Within moments they were up to a three digit figure. Then, unbelievably, it jumped to a thousand dollars. Janet was in heaven thinking of all that money for the children's hospital, Sam was beaming like a proud momma at her kid's graduation and Daniel was torn between cowering and looking amazed. He looked up at me and I could only stand there and shake my head. I couldn't save him this time. He was one gone puppy in the great slave auction of the SGC. I could see Paul-fucking-Davis on point in the audience, not to mention a group of Janet's nurses giggling to each other.

Finally, when the bidding reached the high-water mark, damn-it-Janet banged the gavel and announced in her Command Bend-Over voice. "Sold, Doctor Daniel Jackson for fifteen hundred seventy five dollars and fifty cents!"

I looked over at George who returned my disbelieving expression. "And fifty cents?"

He shrugged. "Whatever it takes, Jack. You know that."

Then as I watched in total shock and incredulity, our fourth teammate strode up to the platform. Teal'c grasped Danny firmly around the thighs, slung him over his shoulder and left the room. There was nothing but dead silence following their sudden departure. I looked at George, George looked at me, Sam looked at Janet, Sam looked at me, Janet looked at the crowd and smiled excitedly. "Fifteen hundred seventy five dollars and fifty cents paid in full by the man from Chulak." She declared gleefully. Then Janet announced the next victim and the auction proceeded on.

Shit! What the hell was Teal'c gonna do to Daniel? Now, I did feel better knowing that the big guy would NEVER hurt Daniel, but why had he bought him?

I must have looked like a pole-axed steer when the General asked gently. "What do Jaffa do with slaves, Jack?"

"Anything they damn well please, George." I answered. He only shook his head. I had to sit down.

Several hours later, after the bruhaha was over, I left the mountain to go home to my quiet empty house. I had looked everywhere...Teal'c's quarters, Danny's office, Sam's lab, my office, the Gym, the storage area, the commissary, everywhere an entitled Jaffa and a sold slave could be hiding. Not a sign of either of them. I kept telling myself that Teal'c wouldn't hurt Danny, would in fact probably be meditating with him on the oddities of the Tau'ri or translating the mysteries of the universe. No worries, no suspicions, no problem. Just a quiet weekend, probably. Oh God, I hoped so.

I pulled into my driveway, got out of the truck and entered the house. As I stepped through the door, my old special ops sixth sense went off and I pulled my boot knife out of its scabbard on my right leg. Someone had been in here, the rug was moved, there was a glass on the counter that I hadn't drank out of. I slowly went through the lower floor of the house then moved up the stairs to the hallway. There was a piece of paper taped to my bedroom door that had been pulled shut. I relaxed, it was obviously not someone hiding as they had left the message for me.

I pulled the note off of the door. It was written in Teal'c neat printing.

O'Neill To celebrate your Natal day, I have procured for you a birthday present. It is on your bed. I had to take measures to secure and silence it but I do not believe it to be damaged. Major Davis was displeased when I outbid him but I did not feel he deserved it. But you must take better care and not allow it to put itself at risk in such a manner. Happy Birthday. Teal'c

I had to laugh. I just had to. I slowly pushed open the door. There on my bed was my present, just as my friend promised. Daniel was secured with soft cotton rope and a piece of duct tape across his mouth. As I entered, he squirmed around to look at me. The hat was gone, the shirt half off and the jeans were just as tight as I remembered them being. As I removed the tape he started to say something but I decided that Teal'c was right. I did need to take better care of my gift, so I kissed him. That is another way to silence him that works very well. As I unwrap my present, I know I'll have to remember to send Teal'c a great big thank you card for my birthday present. My very own Indiana Jackson! Boy, do I have some excavating in mind for tonight!


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