Now that is self confidence ~ or acting "as if".

More Writings on Being Better People

12 STEPS TO POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH

1. Take Responsibility for Your Own Life.
2. Be Flexible in Your Thinking.
3. Accept Reality as a Mixture of Good and Bad.
4. Savor the Moment.
5. Learn to Live with Frustration.
6. Accept and Take Care of Yourself.
7. Express Positive and Negative Feelings.
8. Work Toward Goals.
9. Think Rationally and Creatively.
10. Manage Your Time and Maintain a Balance.
11. Develop Hobbies and Absorbing Interests.
12. Develop and Maintain Relationships.

Trevor Powell, "Free Yourself from Harmful Stress"

ACT AS IF

What final result are you trying to achieve?

In the mid-1950s, a flamboyant, but unknown, American pianist had dreams of performing in the Hollywood Bowl. He gathered some money, rented the Hollywood Bowl on an off night, showed up wearing a tuxedo and played a full concert on a grand piano to absolutely no audience at all.

Except that the hall was empty, he lived his dream. Then he kept building on that dream until, four years later to the very night, Liberace performed at the Hollywood Bowl before a capacity, standing-room-only crowd.

Several years prior, it was Harry Emerson Fosdick who voiced a new thought about self-transformation. He said, "Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind's eye and you will be drawn toward it. Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination of what you would like to do or be."

Liberace had one major goal at first -- the Hollywood Bowl. He held that picture in his mind, then acted as if he had already achieved it, and it came to pass. These are two necessary steps to achieving any result, regardless how big or small: hold a picture of the dream in your mind and act as if it were already so.

It is especially true in the area of self-transformation. Whether you want to overcome shyness, kick a habit, find a fulfilling relationship or achieve a long-held dream, the process is the same. Picture it in your mind then act as if you were already self-confident, as if you were already free from the habit, or as if you were perfectly capable of growing that relationship.

Don't be surprised if the results are remarkable!

From Steve Goodier's RICHES OF THE HEART

Empowering

You can think.  You can feel.  You can solve your problems.  You can take care of yourself.

Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice.

How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting ourselves and others.

When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction?  Do we believe we need to solve it for the person?  Do we believe that that person's future rests on our ability to advise him or her?  That's standing on shaky ground, not the stuff of which recovery is made.

When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction?  That the person will never survive that experience?  That it's not okay for someone to feel?  That he or she will never get through this intact?

When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response?  That the person can't do that?  I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes?  From crumbling?  From failing?

What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves?

Do we believe in ourselves and others?  Do we give power to people, including ourselves, and their abilities?  Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility?

We can learn to check ourselves out.  We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. "I'm sorry you're having that problem.  I know you can figure out a solution.  Sounds like you've got some feelings going on.  I know you'll work through them and come out on the other side."

Each of us is responsible for "ourselves."  That does not mean we don't care.  It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others.  It means we learn to live and support people in ways that work.  It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work.  It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work.

To believe in people, to believe in each person's inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.

Written by M. Beattie

Not Saving a Thing

I'm reading more and dusting less.  I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time at  work. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market.  My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing  or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what my cousins would've done had they known that they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have  called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles.  I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, or for whatever their favorite food was.  I'm guessing; I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my wife/husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

Author unknown