“A la chingada!” said Choni Susio, who had been searching an abandon warehouse and found the bodies of two dead Chicas. “This is Choni Susio,” he said over the comlinks that they all carried. “I found two more. That’s all of ‘em.”
“Damn that bitch,” blurted Huevos de Diablo. “We will have our revenge!”
“Well I at least have some good news,” cracked El Torso’s voice over the comlink. “Using tissue samples from the deceased Chicas I have developed a vaccine for Muff Mouth’s herpes virus. Everybody report back to the island.” They all returned to Macho Mesa and received the vaccine, then they at once set out again to find the malicious murderer of their beloved Chicas.
Oso Verde and Running Big Calf, who were both excellent trackers, had been on a trail of disease and death that they hoped would lead to Muff Mouth. After two weeks on the trail their patience had finally paid off. The two followed the trail to Salt Lake City Utah. There they found that Muff Mouth was living in a rundown shack on the outskirts of town.
“Hey, this is Oso come in”
“Yeah” answered El Torso on the comlink. “What is it Oso?”
“Big Calf and I found Muff Mouth. Contact the rest of the guys and then home in on our signal. And tell then to be quiet, we want to keep the element of surprise.” Then turning to Big Calf he said: “This should be easy. There are only 5 of those Harpies around.”
“Still we must be careful my friend,” said the white Navajo. “There could be more enemies we do not see. It would be unwise to underestimate that witch.” Little did Big Calf know that his words were quite true. Inside, Muff Mouth had gathered a hundred of the winged Harpies and also had brought into her service a few subterranean trolls. For she was preparing an attack on the Playboy Mansion where she planed to capture many bunnies to keep as slaves and then go into hiding.
Soon the other members of Macho Mesa began to arrive. Huevos was of course the first one there. A lust for revenge was upon him and Oso had to physically restrain him from charging in alone. Last, and to the surprise of everyone arrived El Torso. “What are you doing here? You can’t help us in battle, it’s not safe to be here.” said Duende Gallo.
“I know but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” replied the limbless warrior. “I will monitor the action from the Macho Jet.”
With that our heroes devised a plan: They would surround the dilapidated house, then Sueltos would fill the house with gas, which Caliente would ignite. Then they would battle any surviving creatures. With the plan ready they began their assault.
Inside none of the vile beings saw the shapes moving stealthily in and out of the shadows. Sueltos flew up to the roof and sat on the chimney. He then began to fill the shack with an odorless and highly explosive gas. Choni Susio shrank down to the size of a jellybean and crawled under the door to spy on the evil assembly. He saw that Muff Mouth was preparing to leave so he rushed back to Duende and told him to signal the attack even though the house was not yet full of gas. The cry of “For the Chicas!” rang in each of the warriors’ minds. Sueltos flew off the roof and no sooner had he done that than Caliente launched a fireball through a window.
The resulting explosion was enormous. A huge cloud of flame rose into the air. The roof and two of the walls were completely blown away. Many of the Harpies died instantly and others flew screaming into the night, their bodies consumed by flame. The heroes charged what was left of the building.
Huevos charged recklessly into the throng of creatures. He slammed into a Harpy. The collision knocked them both to the ground, but before the beast could react Huevos was upon it. So strong was his blood lust that he pummeled the Harpy until it was nothing more than an unrecognizable heap of bloody flesh.
Now recovered from the surprise attack, the Harpies swarmed on Huevos. He punched and kicked with all his speed and strength, killing more of the Harpies and wounding many others, but he was greatly outnumbered and soon overwhelmed.
No sooner had the servants of Muff Mouth subdued Huevos than they felt the true onslaught of Macho Mesa. Oso Verde wielding his deadly war club and Bundy swinging his hammer like fists tore through the creatures driving toward Muff Mouth. Many Harpies died at the hands of Macho Mesa's two strongest warriors and it seemed Muff Mouth was just within reach when Bundy was slammed by a monstrous blow from on the trolls. The strength of the troll was so great that Bundy was sent flying through the air and crashing through one of the remaining walls. Enraged Oso brought his club down on the troll’s head with such force that club and skull exploded in a shower of wood splinters and brain matter.
Then with a grip like iron another troll grabbed Oso from behind. Oso smashed the back of his head into the troll’s face. With a sickening crack the troll’s nose was shattered. Oso felt the warm blood on his back, but still the troll held on. The troll opened its enormous mouth and buried its huge fangs deep into Oso’s shoulder. Oso screamed out in pain just as Bundy leapt through the last standing wall and rammed into the troll and Oso sending them both flying. Then the two continued their battle with the mighty trolls.
Meanwhile Duende cleared the Harpies clawing at Huevos with a psionic blast, and then lifted his fallen brother out of harm’s way. At that very moment Caliente unleashed a Solar Flare, consuming almost all of the Harpies, then he fell to his knees, drained.
It appeared the battle was won when suddenly a Harpy swooped from the night sky and nearly decapitated Caliente, slashing his head badly and sending him into unconsciousness. The Harpy was then pierced through the neck with an arrow shot by Big Calf, but as the heroes’ eyes turned skyward they saw two-dozen more Herpes Harpies approaching, and the tide of battle turned once again in Muff Mouth’s favor.
Bravely Sueltos flew to meet the attack. He let loose a cloud of acid gas that burned, melted, and killed the Harpies that flew through it. Cerviche fired his head and tore through the wings of the Harpies sending them crashing to Earth. Those that got passed Sueltos and Cerviche were met by a hail of bullets fired by the blazing guns of Fantasmas. Still some got by the guns and were met in battle by Choni Susio and Big Calf.
As Fantasmas fired into the sky a wounded Harpy slowly crawled up behind him and clawed him across the back. Other Harpies that had been lying wounded smelt blood, and sensed death, and now rejuvenated climbed onto Fantasmas ripping and tearing at his flesh. Things looked grim for the gunfighter, but before the Harpies could kill him Ese Cabron leapt on top of them like a giant spider and impaled them with his hairy tendrils. As Ese slaughtered all of the still living Harpies he was stuck in the back of the head and knocked out. Cerviche’s lifeless head now lay next to him after being flung down by a Harpy.
Sueltos, grappling with the last Harpy plummeted toward the ground. Duende looked up just in time to see the two fighters, locked in combat, crash on top of him. Then all was black.
Duende woke to a peaceful silence, the sun was rising in the East and the first rays of dawn revealed the last night’s carnage. Slowly Duende got up, his head reeling. As he looked on the field of death he saw that Sueltos was lying near him. Duende bent over him and felt for a pulse. Sueltos was alive but hurt badly. Duende then started to look for his brothers. He heard a rustle behind him. He turned to see Ese Cabron getting to his feet. “Oh man!” said Ese, “my head is killing me.”
“Are you okay?” asked Duende.
“Yeah except for this bump on my head. I wonder what hit me.” Then looking around he saw Cerviche’s head and gently picked it up. “Wake up dude,” he said softly and Cerviche’s eyes slowly opened.
“Where am I?” asked Cerviche. “Where’s my body?” Ese and Cerviche searched for his body, which they found lying on the ground relatively unscathed. After he reattached the three looked for their brothers.
“Hey, do you hear something?” asked Duende.
“Hear what?” responded Ese Cabron.
“It sounds like it’s coming from over there.” Duende pointed to a pile of dead trolls. “Sounds like... snoring.” As the three approached the heap of fallen trolls the snoring grew louder. They pushed the bodies off the top of the pile and found Oso and Bundy side by side asleep. “Awww how cute,” said Duende noticing that Bundy had his thumb in his mouth.
Hearing the others talking Oso woke up, and then shook Bundy. Bundy woke with a huge yawn and looking around said: “Me hungry. Lets go eat now.”
“We will,” said Duende, “but first we have to find everybody else.” Together the five of them found their friends, who were all alive but badly hurt, and carried them back to the Macho Jet. There they found El Torso unconscious and three dead Harpies with laser-beam holes through them. “Looks like Torso got to fight some too.”
After they patched up their wounds and attended to the more seriously injured they searched for Muff Mouth’s body, which then didn’t find. “I guess she got away,” said El Torso.
“Who cares,” replied Oso, “I want to go home.”
So our heroes flew home. Only to find the doors wide open. They cautiously went inside and saw a man standing by the great fireplace. They all froze; no one moved or spoke for what seemed like hours. Then Duende broke the silence by choking out a single word: “...You.”