Chapel lay in the last dwindling rays of California sun, listening to the splash of water on the beach and feeling completely relaxed. "Only three more days," a vicious little voice in the back of her mind reminded, but she pushed the thought away. She was on vacation, and she did not want to think about Starfleet, medicine or work.

A few drops of cool spray tickled her bare, warm skin. Startled, she rolled onto her back, laying her arm over her eyes to block the sun. Sunbathing was something she rarely indulged in, much less in the nude. But, here, with the endless ocean and cool summer breeze beckoning, it somehow felt right.

Something cast a cold shadow over her. Looking up, she was surprised to see a shadowed male form staring down at her.

She quickly covered herself with a towel from her beach bag. "Do you mind?" she asked. "This is private property."

The man leaned down to leer at her. "I knocked at the gate, but there was no one in."

"Leonard!" Chapel almost lost her towel in an effort to stand, hug and slap the laughing doctor all at once. "You pervert!"

"I heard the view from here was great, but not this great!" Leonard McCoy leaned to peck her on the cheek, then grabbed the robe draped over her supplies. "Cover yourself, woman."

"Thanks. How did you find me?" Slipping on the robe, she grabbed her beach gear and headed for the beach house.

"Well, you sure didn't make it easy. I went to your apartment in Oakland, and you weren't there. Finally, your friend Gerry told me you were here." He indicated the cabin they had just reached. Two enormous French doors opened out onto a spacious porch overlooking the Pacific Ocean. "Certainly living it up, aren't we?"

She laughed. "Actually, the rent on this place was dirt cheap. It seems the mountains are in this season. The prices dropped so low anyone could get in." She tossed the sandy towel into a disposal chute and motioned to the bar. "Fix yourself a drink while I shower off, OK?" At his nod, she disappeared into the next room.

When she returned twenty minutes later, McCoy did a double take. Dressed in a sparse peach cotton sundress and sandals, her dark hair shining and loose around her shoulders, this woman was almost unrecognizable as his solid, upright former nurse. McCoy blinked once, then grinned, indicating the reader she'd forgotten to turn off. "Romance novel, Chris?"

Moving quickly to his side, she snapped off the screen. "I'm on vacation."

"So I see." He leaned back on the sofa to do a formal survey. She whirled slightly and graced him with a quick model's pose. The soft peach material of her sundress made her tan all the more prominent. McCoy saw that it was not the delicate straps but Chapel's own slim but ample figure which was responsible for keeping the dress in place. "Not bad at all," he said slowly. "No one would ever guess you'd just spent a year in solitary confinement. What's to eat around here?"

"I take it you're staying for dinner."

"Only if I'm invited."

"I guess so. Thursdays are pretty slow around here. It's either you or dusting sand out of my clothes."

McCoy grinned. "Come on, Chris. Give an old man a break; say you want me!"

Chapel's eyes widened, her voice dropping suggestively. "Of course I want you...for dinner."

"I'll take what I can get, darlin'," McCoy retorted cheerfully.

Going into the kitchen, a thought occurred to Chapel. She poked her head out of the door. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

""Can't a man visit an old..." At her withering glare, he rephrased it, "...a longtime friend if he wants to?"

"Sure, he can." She stepped back into the kitchen, chuckling. McCoy could hear her programming the food syntho. "I just thought that you guys were booked solid for months - what with being heroes and all."

"Ugh. If I hear that word one more time..."

She returned carrying two steaming trays. "What's the matter? Don't like being a media darling?" She handed him a plate of pasta.

"Media, humph! Whole lot of them should be dragged out to the stables and..."

"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad." She sat next to him on the sofa and dug into her own dinner.

"It's ridiculous. Don't they have enough to gossip about? They make a man a hero just because he comes home in one piece."

"Don't forget. Almost a hundred people didn't come home at all."

"Don't remind me."

"Damn it, Chris, you were out there. It was five years of boredom punctuated by infrequent, but bloody, periods of action. Nothing to call a man `hero' for. It's hard to swallow that hero crap when you think of how many hours we spent huddled over bleeding bodies."

"True." Chapel had been grateful for the experience, but she still had nightmares about red alerts. "I guess I don't have any frame of reference for the celebrity thing. I left early, remember? I forfeited my hero status for a piece of paper." Chapel studied McCoy's weary face. Something was wrong here; something more than just a griping country doctor.

"Maybe you should've stayed." Swallowing his last bite, he placed the empty tray on the coffee table. "It was a bitch training a new head nurse on the last leg of the mission."

"Aww, I'm touched. You missed me."

"Yeah, we make a good team. Of course, now that you're an `idealistic doctor' with all sorts of high and mighty notions, I suppose you don't want anything to do with a jaded old sawbones like me."

She deposited her tray next to his and stretched back on the sofa. "What's the matter? Can't take the competition?" Grinning mischievously, she added, "Or are you just intimidated now that my credentials are as good as yours?"

He tweaked her cheek. "Ah, the energy of youth!"

"Maybe you could use some high and mighty ideals now that you're a jaded celebrity."

"I may be jaded, but I'm no celebrity," he grumbled. He leaned back, stretching, and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, I was just joking. Don't be so serious."

"This is serious. Everybody's caught it. The media, the top brass... They're holding carrots in front of our noses with all this hero crap, and people are bitin'. Even some of the crew..."

"It's going to their heads?"

"And then some."

"Anyone I know?"

"Ha!" Chapel's much-publicized and even more glorified obsession with a certain Vulcan commander had earned her the reputation of being over-emotional and unrealistic. "Says who?"

"Well, aside from one notable exception."

McCoy's tone was teasing. Now it was Chapel's turn to roll her eyes. "Temporary insanity."

McCoy's hearty chuckle momentarily erased the fatigue from his voice, reminding her of the old days. "Pointed eared Vulcan never did know what was good for him."

Chapel shook her head. "It wouldn't have worked. I know that now. He did me a big favor by keeping me at arms' length."

McCoy met her gaze, blue eyes intense. "He was a fool." Chapel blinked at the force behind the physician's words. It had never occurred to her that McCoy had cared much one way or another about the situation. He reached for her hand and grasped it firmly, his steady gaze unwavering. "A complete fool."

Chapel averted her eyes, a self depreciating chuckle catching in her throat. This subject made her uneasy, and not because of Spock. That she had dealt with. But there were other feelings, less examined, less acknowledged than her hopeless crush on the Vulcan. Those feelings were coming out now in a self-conscious tremor.

With his free hand, McCoy reached up to stroke her long jaw with one finger. "You were there when he needed you...just like you were always there for me."

"Just returning the favor," she murmured, forcing her gaze to meet his again, losing herself in it.

"God, I missed you," McCoy whispered.

"And well you should have." Chapel's voice quavered just slightly as she attempted to inject a bit of levity into a conversation which had suddenly become too serious. "I was the best nurse you ever--"

"I'm not talking about that," McCoy interrupted softly.

Two strong arms slipped around Chapel, and she relaxed into his embrace, accepting the comfort of the physical contact while refusing to acknowledge what lay behind it. McCoy's lips brushed her hair, and Chapel clung to him, reveling in his warmth and solidity.

"Chris," McCoy breathed, turning his head so his lips brushed the side of her face. Chapel pulled back slightly, startled not just by his familiarity, but by her own body's unexpected and instantaneous response.

"Len," she gasped, too startled to articulate anything else. McCoy, mistaking her surprised whisper for an invitation, pulled her closer and pressed his lips against the hollow of her throat, shocking the cool skin and sending chills through her body. Part of her wanted to pull back again, to maintain control; but another part of her was already lost. Her lips parted in half-hearted protest but before she could utter a word, McCoy silenced her with a kiss.

Several moments later she pushed lightly against his chest, flushing pink with embarrassment. McCoy, thoroughly involved, didn't appear to notice, his lips still moving sensuously over hers. Chapel, self-conscious and more than just a little flustered, pushed a bit more forcefully. "Leonard," she breathed, her lips still brushing his.

"Mmmmm," he responded, toying with the straps of her sundress.

"Doctor!" Chapel's voice washed over McCoy like a bucket of cold water. He finally released her, his frown of confusion transmuting into one of hurt and embarrassment.

There was an uncomfortable silence as they avoided looking directly at each other. Chapel instantly regretted her withdrawal. Why had she pulled away from him? A niggling vestige of their professional relationship perhaps?

McCoy opened his mouth to apologize, his eyes washing to a pale gray as he tried to hide his disappointment. Chapel silenced him with a shake of her head, curling back against him.

She grinned as his brows lifted in surprise, and snuggled closer. "Wasn't expecting that," she explained lightly. "Not to say I don't like it," her lips closed over his, and she kissed him breathless. "Cause I do."

She could feel him relaxing against her, the embarrassment and tension fading as if it had never existed. "And well you should," he mimicked her earlier tone.

An almost childlike giggle erupted from Chapel, and she hugged McCoy tightly. "Almost as good as a romance novel."

McCoy affected a pout. "Better."

"Prove it," she challenged with a seductive smile.

Without another word, McCoy eased the straps of her sundress from her brown shoulders, kissing the cool, soft flesh. Chapel found herself opening the seam of his shirt, pushing aside the offending garment to revel in the warmth of his skin.

As her mouth settled over his, her passion surging to match his own, McCoy groaned, fumbling eagerly with the ties that laced down the front of her dress. "Damn it!"

Chapel stared down at him. "Impatient?" As he continued to struggle with the knots, she finally laughed. "Leonard, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get you out of this damn thing!"

She grasped his hands. "Try this." Laying back on the sofa, she guided his hands to the hem of her skirt. Grimacing at his own foolishness, McCoy grabbed the skirt, lifting it around her waist to expose her long, bare legs. "Better?"

"Much." He caressed her hips, removing the delicate underwear with a little too much force. As the fabric ripped in his hands, he looked down at Chapel sheepishly. "I guess I am a little impatient."

"So am I." Chapel pulled him down hard on top of her, kissing him. She reached down to open his pants, snaking her hand into the material to grasp his erection. When he gasped at her touch, she thrust her tongue into his opened mouth. With her free hand, she tugged at his trousers, freeing his cock with much more success than he had had with her dress. The feel of his hardening flesh in her hands reminded Chapel how very long it had been since she'd done this. McCoy was toying with her tongue, sucking it, biting the tip. Finally, she leaned against his chest. "Very impatient."

"Let me get this off..." McCoy began to remove his trousers, but Chapel shook her head quickly. "Don't you want to go into the bedroom?"

She answered his question by leaning back against the cushions, urging him between her spread legs.

McCoy entered her with one thrust. As Chapel winced, he began to withdraw, but she wrapped her legs tightly around him, thrusting upwards. "I'm hurting you," he argued.

"No." She continued to writhe beneath him, urging him to motion. "No, just don't stop."

Looking down at her, McCoy knew there was no way he could stop even if he tried. He began to move inside her, losing his battle with his own will. The smell of her skin, her tightness, pushed him over the edge too quickly. He came within her, bucking and groaning. As he collapsed on top of her, he moaned, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she murmured, kissing him.

Catching his breath, he lifted himself off of her. "I wanted this to be good for you. I'm worse than a teenager."

"This isn't a contest. Stop worrying."

McCoy rolled off of the sofa onto his knees beside her. Kissing her briefly on the lips, his blue eyes caught hers for a moment. There was no accusation there, no disappointment. He took her head between his hands and kissed her firmly. Grabbing a cushion from behind her, he grinned a genuine `McCoy Special' and stuffed the pillow beneath her hips. She laughed, and he dove between her legs.

As she squirmed beneath him, he grabbed her hips to steady her, tickling her with his lightening quick tongue. Her long fingers grasped his hair, pushing his face down into her. McCoy responded by taking the tiny bud of her clitoris between his lips, rolling it and sucking gently. Chapel let loose a high-pitched sound, her free hand clawing the scratchy fabric of the sofa. McCoy sucked harder, inserting one, then two fingers into her slippery opening. He felt Chapel shudder and then jolt with orgasm. She moaned low in her throat, raising her body to a forty-five degree angle and thrusting her pelvis even harder against him.

When she finally crumpled back onto the sofa, they were both panting with exertion. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded slowly, dazed. "Much."

McCoy leaned over, laying his head on her stomach, trying to catch his breath. As his pulse returned to normal, he reached for her hands. Brushing them lightly with his lips, he stood up, pulling her to her feet. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

"No," she whispered, leaning against him, slipping her hands inside his open shirt. "Let's go for a walk."

"A walk? You've got to be kidding!"

Chapel caught his earlobe between her teeth. "It's a private beach," she murmured suggestively. McCoy leaned over to kiss her, but she twisted out of his embrace and around him, her loose skirt tumbling smoothly down below her knees. She moved to the French doors, opening them wide to look out onto the beach.

McCoy watched her for a moment - her face half-shadow, half-moonlight, her hair and dress lifting slightly in the sudden breeze which caught them. When she stepped out into the light of the rising moon, McCoy quickly fastened his trousers and followed.

She was waiting for him at the base of the porch steps. "There's a path to the beach here. Careful, there's not a lot of light, and the trail's rough."

McCoy moved in beside her, but after stumbling on a few weeds in the path, he stepped behind her, letting her guide him expertly through the tangle of plants. In no time, the trail turned to soft loose sand, then to the hard-packed beach.

Chapel, ahead of him, went straight to the water, standing on one foot to remove a sandal and drop it with a thud onto the sand. Shifting position, she removed the other shoe. She walked into the black and white swirling water until it was just above her calves, the hem of her skirt waltzing in the receding waves.

She looked out onto the ocean, mesmerized. It was hard to tell where the sea ended and the night sky began; flecks of foam whitened the ebony and lapis sea like so many stars in the midnight sky. Directly before her, the moon spilled silver and gold onto the waves, spreading and shifting like molten metal.

Chapel felt the pull of the current on her legs. She thought of a night long ago on Vega when the moon and sea had beckoned her from her luxury hotel room, drawing her downward until she stood just at the edge of the inky waters. Instinct, not impulse, had shrugged the prefab jumper off her shoulders; the memories of a thousand generations had led her home to the sea.

She'd knelt in the surf, steadying herself against the undertow which urged her deeper. Sitting on her heels, she'd allowed the water to pull past her, caressing her bare skin as it gathered, rolling, black and angry. Chapel saw the wave before her, building, summoning all the waters of all the worlds to it until it could hold no more. It crashed around her in a blinding white fury. Chapel dug into the sand for balance, her body forced back onto her heels, her head tilted back in offering. She'd choked a little on the salty spray, but had held her ground, knowing only the raw sensuality of sizzling white foam on her bare flesh.

"Chris?" McCoy's gentle query and his hand on the small of her back brought Chapel back to this night. "You okay?"

She turned from the sea to look into his concerned face. "Yes," she replied quietly.

"You're a million miles away."

Chapel hugged herself. "Do you remember the conference on Vega? The one you and Spock and I attended a few years back?"

McCoy's eyebrows lifted. "Sure." A vivid memory of Chapel in the moonlight, naked in the surf, flashed into his mind.

"This beach reminds me of that weekend." She stretched, wrapping her arms behind her neck and then dropping them loosely to her sides. "I could have stayed there forever."

He reached up to massage her shoulders. "Chris, can I make a confession?"

"To me?" She looked at him curiously, and nodded.

"That time on Vega ... the last night, well... you see, I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk and..." He turned her toward him, grinning like a cat who could still taste the feathers. "I saw you, or someone who looked amazingly like you, skinny-dipping."

Leave it to McCoy to reduce that incredible experience to `Huck and Tom skinny-dipping in the old pond,' she thought. "I see. And you just stood there, leering at me."

"Well, I couldn't very well have jumped in with you, could I?" She smiled seductively, stretching one long finger up to stroke his chest. "No, I damn well couldn't and you know it. I couldn't tell you, either." He rolled his eyes. "I can just see me - `Nurse, hand me that hypo. By the way, did you know I was peeping at your luscious naked body the other night?'"

Chapel wrapped her arms around his neck. "So you just left me there, all alone, with nothing but the waves to keep me company."

"Come on, darlin'. You know I couldn't ... I mean, you were my nurse. It would have been wrong." He kissed her gently on the cheek. "I couldn't tell you how much I wanted you, how beautiful you looked with your skin all wet and glistening in the moonlight. You got me so rattled, I was a royal pain for two days after."

"I remember. I just didn't know why until now." She pressed her lips against his to let him know that this time, there was no taboo to stop him. "It's a private beach," she reminded, kissing him again.

McCoy deepened the kiss, running his fingers through her silky hair. Her body melded with his, pressing against him suggestively. Gasping, he pulled her down to her knees in the water, covering her body with his own. A wave crashed over them, soaking their hair and clothing, but McCoy was lost in her. It was only when she struggled, pushing him away, catching her breath that he let go.

Shaking her wet hair, Chapel pulled him to her again, this time carefully keeping her head above the water. She tried to free him from his trousers, but her hand got caught in the wet material. McCoy lifted himself off of her, removing his trousers and throwing them onto the beach. Then he peeled the soaking dress over her head and tossed it next to the pants.

Chapel looked up at him. The back light of the moon created a halo effect around his darkened features. Chapel had seen him naked many times in the line of duty, but never like this. The erection he had was definitely not a sight she'd seen in Sickbay.

McCoy kissed her, his unique taste combining with the salty water dripping from his face. Lowering himself onto his hands, he dug his fingers into the wet sand as he balanced himself above her. His strong shoulders and arms rippled as he leaned down over her; the tight, slim body covering hers was rough and warm. She arched her back, inviting him, wrapping her legs around his calves.

He snaked his briny fingers through the tangled, wet mass of her hair. He entered her smoothly, stroking in slow, synchronous rhythm with the current. Chapel arched higher, trying to quicken his pace, but McCoy maintained his slow, tantalizing tempo. The cool, briny water on her back and his maddening pressure inside of her had Chapel near the edge - just a little bit more! "Please," she begged, hardly hearing her soft cry over the waves.

McCoy thrust harder, increasing his speed. It was all she needed. Chapel lost the moonlight; she lost the sea. All there was was McCoy and the pleasure he gave her. When she thought she would burst from the blood and adrenaline surging through her, McCoy let out a low cry, coming inside of her. They clung together, shivering with passion, falling over onto their sides in the hard, wet sand.

"Leonard......" Chapel pushed herself up from the pillow, leaning over on one elbow to nibble at the base of McCoy's neck, urging the sleeping doctor awake. "Leonard, wake up."

He muttered something unintelligible and rolled over onto his back.

Not to be deterred, Chris leaned over to place sharp, tiny bites all over his throat, shoulders and chest. "Don't you pretend you're sleeping, Leonard McCoy." Her lips traveled lower, alternately kissing and nibbling his chest, abdomen and belly. Her year of necessary but unwanted celibacy had ended quite pleasantly tonight, but Chapel was not satisfied just yet. She lowered herself further and bit the skin of his inner thigh.

McCoy yelped and pulled her away. "Watch that!" Wrestling her to her back, he said, "Careful where you put those teeth, girl."

Laughing, she twisted from under him and pushed him down onto his back. "You started this."

"I did not. You kissed me."

"You were a peeping tom." She straddled him, kneeling on all fours, and leaned down to kiss him. "Pervert," she scolded. "I was doing just fine until you got me all excited."

"If that ain't the pot calling the kettle black!"

She laughed again. Leaning back to sit on her feet, she began rubbing his flaccid penis.

McCoy groaned and grabbed for her hands. Chapel was determined; she maintained her firm grip, stroking and teasing him. "If you're trying to kill an old man, it won't do you any good. I haven't got a cent."

"I don't care if you're rich; I only want you for your body. And you're not old; you're just a little thin," she tightened her grip on his stiffening member. "Though not where it counts, I'm happy to say."

"That's real ladylike, Chris."

"Listen, if you were a gentleman, you wouldn't be griping like this. I thought you Southerners were supposed to be so dashing."

"Now, hold on..."

"Yeah, some gentleman. Not wanting to help a lady in distress - especially one in my condition."

"Condition?" McCoy looked up into her eyes, startled. "What condition?"

Chapel raised herself onto his erect cock, letting her weight drive him home. "Horny."

He chuckled as she began slowly rocking back and forth. "Good thing I'm a doctor. I have just the cure."

Another hour closer to dawn, Chapel ran her fingertips over the scar on McCoy's chest. She remembered it well. Another fool mission, another lost life, she and M'Benga trying frantically to save McCoy before he became another statistic. Kirk had not left Sickbay until he was sure McCoy was out of danger. Guilty conscience, she had thought then.

But Kirk and McCoy were friends. No matter how much she hated his "gung-ho" approach to landing parties, Chapel had to give Kirk credit for his loyalty. Still, how much pain would've been spared if he hadn't insisted on leading so many away teams? How many times had McCoy gone down, just to keep an eye on him? How many "heroes" would still be alive?

"If you are even thinking about it, don't!" McCoy brought her back to the present. She had been stroking his chest, moving steadily lowered until she got his attention. "What are you trying for, a world record?"

"Quit griping." She leaned onto his chest, nuzzling into a great bear hug. "I thought you were asleep."

"How could I sleep with all these distractions?" He kissed the top of her head. "You're incredible."

"Yeah, I know," she replied smugly. "I had a lot of inspiration tonight. I'm glad you came."

"Me, too, darlin'. I swear, I didn't come here expecting this, but the sight of your pretty face..."

"Face?"

"Well, that too. It just felt good seeing you again. I knew it would."

"Want to tell me about it?"

There was a long pause before McCoy answered. "Well ... I've resigned."

"Resigned? From what?"

"From Starfleet. I told Admiral Nogura and Admiral Kirk exactly where they could shove their stripes."

"Len, why?"

"I reasoned with Jim, I pleaded with him, I even begged him not to accept that desk job. But he wouldn't listen. Finally, I just got fed up. Gave my two weeks' notice and hit the road. I don't have to stay around and see my best friend's life and career destroyed."

"What about your life? Your career?" Chapel sat up in bed, staring at him incredulously. "I can't believe you've thrown everything away just to make a point. Why should what Jim Kirk does force you out of a job?"

"Damn it, how can I stand around and watch them destroy my friend's life?"

"So you turn tail?"

"I'm not runnin'; I'm protestin'."

"Running, protesting, what's the difference? Will you still be so self-righteous when the bills come in?"

"Hell, Chris. I'm a doctor; I don't need a starship to practice medicine. I've been meaning to get out for years. Now's as good a time as any." Suddenly he was all boy, planning a great adventure. "I could set up a little practice in the country - Georgia, South Carolina maybe. Really practice medicine - general practice." He grinned. "In fact, that's the real reason I came here today."

"To tell me you're setting up shop in the boondocks?"

"To ask you to be my partner."

"Your partner?" Chapel was stunned.

"Yeah. Like I said before, we make a great team. Set up a little practice, help the people, do research. Now it's even better." He reached up to kiss her excitedly. Chapel pulled away a bit, not very comfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. McCoy, however, was persistent - his kiss persuasive, his hands and lips and tongue urging her with far more fervor than his words. "It'll be like old times, only better."

"I don't know." She slipped her arms between them, trying to get some distance. Chapel was concerned with her reaction to him and to his seductive offer. A safe little practice, rustic, charming...almost too good to be true. Looking down into his brilliant blues eyes, she was reminded of Roger Korby. It was too good to be true. "I don't know."

"Why not?"

"I don't know! This is all so sudden. For one thing, I just reenlisted for another three years."

"You could resign."

"I don't know if I want to."

McCoy sat up, his hands clasping the sides of her face so he could look deeply into her eyes. "And what about tonight? Didn't that mean anything to you?" He asked, softly coaxing.

"You're being unfair," she breathed, determined to maintain her resolve. "You're asking me to give up everything I've worked for in the last six years. And you're asking me to do it on the spur of the moment. I just can't. Besides, I was thinking of signing up for another deep space mission; this time as CMO. It's just not the right time in my career for any... major changes."

"You mean me, I take it."

"Come on, now..."

"I never took you for the one-night-stand type, Christine."

"Don't do this to me. It isn't like that at all, and you know it." She whispered. "I'm just not ready for any long-term commitments right now."

"So you hop into the sack with old Len for a quickie before you beam..."

"Damn it, Leonard! Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself for one minute and listen to me?" Chapel was surprised at her own tone. Lowering her voice, she added softly, "Try to be reasonable for once in your life, will you?" She grinned at him crookedly until he smiled back, albeit reluctantly. "That's better."

McCoy closed his eyes, the tension easing from his features. "I'm not trying to push you. Lord knows I've run away from enough relationships in my life." He took her hand in his and kissed the palm gently. "Darlin', I've finally grown up enough to know what I want."

Chapel curved her hand to caress the scratchy expanse of his jaw. "I've grown up, too. I've learned that I can't live my life solely for the benefit of other people - even those I love." She traced his lower lip with the flat of her thumb. "And I do love you, Leonard McCoy, probably more than anyone else in my life. You have always been there for me." Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and insinuated herself into his arms. After a momentary hesitation, he pulled her to him, letting her settle against his shoulder. Snuggled in his arms, she continued, "When Roger died, my world just...shattered, I guess. I know that sounds melodramatic. I'd given up everything to find him - my home, my career - and then he was just gone. One minute I was Roger Korby's fiancee, the next minute I was Nurse Chapel. No middle ground. Suddenly, there didn't seem to be any `Christine' left in me."

"You were always Christine to me..."

"I know that. Anyone in science blue could've done my job. But you always made me feel I was special. You encouraged and nurtured me. You taught me more about medicine, about life, than anyone else ever did. And I thank you for that." She paused for a moment, remembering. "Sickbay was always a warm, safe haven against the real world. You gave me the time to regain my strength and courage, to start over again. But now, I need to get out in the real world. I can't hide behind you forever."

"You won't be hiding. You'll be starting over, just like you wanted. With me."

"No. As much as I love you, as much as I respect and trust and admire you, I will not give up my career again for anyone."

"I'm not asking you to give up anything, darlin'. I'm asking you to be my partner."

"You're asking me to choose your dreams over my own. I won't do that. Not for you; not for anyone ever again. I've finally grown up, Leonard. Can't you understand that?" She looked up into his gentle blue eyes and saw that he did understand. Against her will, Chapel felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Shit." She brushed them away quickly. "Some grown-up."

Drawing her to him tightly, McCoy kissed her fragrant dark hair. "My timing stinks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Where were you two years ago when I was really desperate?" She withdrew a little bit to grin at him.

"You know something? I believe you're going to do just fine. Despite your smart-ass attitude."

"Where do you think I got it from?" Chapel laughed, glad the darkness would conceal her blush. "Can I tell you something? Seriously? I always wanted to be Leonard McCoy when I grew up. You were always a hero to me."

McCoy blinked, surprised, embarrassed. "Figures. I had a groupie all along and blew the opportunity!" He laughed. "Just my luck. By the time I think to make a pass at my head nurse, she outranks me." At her puzzled look, he reminded her, "I think starship CMO outranks civilian doctor."

Pushing away from him, she began, "Yes, about that..."

"Now, don't you start in on me. You made your career choice; please show me the courtesy of respecting mine."

"But, Leonard, really."

"Dr. Chapel," He silenced her with a gentle kiss. "Mind your own business."

"All right, all right. But you'll hate every minute of it. Don't forget how well I know you."

"You'll never let me, will you?" He chuckled. "Let's compare notes in a year or two, OK? Right now, I want to get some sleep."

"In one year, you'll be on a starship, saving the galaxy, mark my words." She snuggled into his arms, stifling a yawn.

"Sure, Christine. Go to sleep." He wrapped her tightly to him, closing his eyes.

After a moment, he began to fidget. Chapel yawned sleepily. "What's the matter?"

"Got sand in the blasted sheets."